All verified with the help of Run Home Jack.

Kellen Moore: 93 pound body, 8,000 pound heart. #RickReillyWeights

Courtney Upshaw: 1,802 John Brantleys, and somewhere between 6 and 28 feet tall.

Janoris Jenkins: 205 pounds, up from his usual 191 and no it's not weird that he's wearing a puffy coat in this locker room you ask a lot of questions are you a cop?

Melvin Ingram: (picks up scale, runs into endzone)

T.J. Graham: 182 pounds. On Sunday mornings, add 17 pounds of "why did I go to N.C. State" regret chocolate.

Vick Ballard: Energy has no mass and therefore no weight.

Brandon Boykin: 3.8 McDrunkles (Unit of Weight Measurement for Leprechauns, Irishmen, and select East African diplomats.)

Devier Posey: 6'1", but 4'3" when running a pass route.

Infamous Truffle Hunter Jean-Francois Migny: 829 Earthy, Rich French Truffles. (Just showed up, took shirt off, and demanded to be weighed)

Russell Wilson: Was too short to read weight on scale. :(

Alameda Ta'amu: Like, thirty teaspoons of pure dead star matter.

Brian Linthicum: 283 Designed Lisps

Nigel Bradham: 328 Of The Crown's Finest Imperial Pints and One Smartly Polished Dress Shoe

Joe Adams: Heisenberg uncertainty principle prevents us from measuring his height and weight simultaneously; he is estimated to be between 78 and 2,415 pounds.

Chris Polk: No recorded weight. May be eloquent, nimble hologram.

Carson Wiggs: 317 pounds. Turned out to be a lonesome Jake Long.

Marquis Maze: 982 pounds with William Vlachos on shoulders.

Carson Wiggs: One Carson Wiggs

Marvin McNutt: 12.7 Cy-Hawk Runner-Up Doorstops

Brandon Weeden: One Chris Weinke + 500 mg of Propecia

Tony Jerod-Eddie: 303 pounds, double platinum record for "Sons of Soul"

Brad Smelley: 46 Long, 38" waist size, 36" inseam. You know, if I had to guess.

Chris Rainey: 1.3 White Girls, 82.8 Threatening Texts, and (remainder of weight withheld pursuant to court order)

Cyrus Gray: 792 Bat-pounds (All TAMU players weighed in bat-units)

Isaiah Pead: Like all Big East players, under 200 pounds.