FanPost

The Breakfast of Champions 1/13/12

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We are all distraught over the absence of the Digital Viking, and the solace it provided us during the offseason. It truly is sad to see it go off on that longboat on fire, but say goodbye to it we must. However, I come here not to praise the Digital Viking but to bury it. However, I see no reason why the spirit of the Digital Viking can't live on. Thus, after discussion between myself and a few other commenters here, we've decided to try and carry on the legacy of the viking through a new, commenter generated post on Friday's. In the spirit of the Digital Viking, we have chose Hunter S. Thompson as our god, and dubbed this series of posts the Breakfast of Champions. If you are not aware of the background to this, you can read about it here. Essentially, Hunter espouses the idea of a mental anchor, a ritual that provides some kind of semblance to a life that can on occasion lose sight of what day it is when they all seem to melt together. The Digital Viking was our anchor, and the Breakfast of Champions will attempt to slightly fill that void in a not nearly as satisfactory manner. This is a test post to see how the idea goes over with you all, so shall we begin gentlemen and ladies?

In Hong Kong, Dallas, or at home...

NP: This section of the BoC shall look to go over interesting destinations or events we would like to go to. And what better destination to go to this week than Rio's Carnival! A festival of excess, drinking, and pleasure, slightly more exotic to us than New Orleans Mardi Gras but with ten times the quota of great Brazilian butts! Also, who can pass up a wheelchair parade?

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The food factor should always be massive...

NP: THE GARBAGE PLATE! Such a great meal of excess in all varieties, allowing the eater to pile how such a varied and delicious amount of foodstuffs! The plate allows you to bring together so many different combinations including cheeseburger, hamburger, red hots, white hots, Italian sausage, chicken tender, fish (haddock), fried ham, grilled cheese, or eggs; and two sides of either home fries, French fries, baked beans, or macaroni salad. When health.com tells you that this is the fattiest thing you could possibly eat in New York, you damn well know that you must eat it. Paula Deen would have wanted it that way.

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four Bloody Marys...

NP: A place to showcase the most interesting of cocktails. And since we want this post to go HAM, what better than THE PROSCIUTTO AND MELON! A martini made with honeydew melon-infused grappa and prosciutto? Brilliant!

1½ ounces of chilled honeydew-infused grappa (let grappa infuse with honeydew melon for up to one month)
2–3 honeydew or cantaloupe balls
2–2 pieces thinly sliced prosciutto
Toothpick or spear

Chill honeydew-infused grappa by shaking over ice, then strain into a martini glass. Wrap each melon ball with a slice of prosciutto, spear with toothpick and add to martini.

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for random seasoning...

NP: A WORLD MAP MADE UP ENTIRELY OF MUSTACHES! Yes, for only a pittance you too can own a wall map of the world made up entirely of mustaches! With a different variety of mustache with each one, not only will it tell you where in the hell Mozambique is, it can inspire you to become brethren with the men featured in mustache Wednesdays!

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six lines of the best cocaine for dessert…

NP: Rather than illicit drugs, how about a different kind of stimulant: gator wrestling! For simply $100 dollars, a fine man who assuredly has no arrest record whatsoever will teach you how to wrestle gators, and what better way to get in shape for swimsuit season than wrasslin' gators? Surely you can't think of anything better to do with your time than WRESTLE GATORS! (Disclaimer: Wrestling gators will in no way prepare you to wrestle Weis')

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there should also be two or three newspapers...

NP: The learned man (and woman) reads, and surely you all are learned men and women. Thus, why don't you mosey on over and read Maud Newton's piece on David Foster Wallace's effect on contemporary literature? A thought provoking piece on about how Wallace's writing would occasional obscure his arguments through indecisiveness.

a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours...

NP: What should we be looking to do over the next day? Well tomorrow, there is a rather interesting sporting event taking place, as two Top 25 college basketball teams battle for supremacy of the west coast, and neither are in the PAC-12! 12th ranked UNLV takes on 22nd ranked San Diego State in a matchup that will be broadcast at 4pm tomorrow on the new NBC Sports Network? Why don't we all gather around tomorrow and take a gander at teams Ben Howland would probably run into the ground?

at least one source of good music…

NP: A band suggestion for the commentariat, I think many of you might be interested in the band The Lonely Wild, and their first EP Dead End. Not only that, do you have Skype? For $100 you can have your own personal Skype concert! It includes a copy of the album, DVD recordings of two concerts, and more awesome stuff! Go ahead, give the band a try!

The Lonely Wild: Right Side of the Road (via thelonelywild)

And with that ends our test run, I hope you enjoyed it, and remember:

...all of which should be done outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.

FanPosts are user-submitted, and thus NOT representative of EDSBS editorial or any of our opinions unless posted by us ourselves. Please refrain from posting blatant spam or self-promotion, because this makes us hate you. Thanks!

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