THE SEC: SAFETY MATTERS!
by Run Home Jack on Sep 9, 2011 11:20 AM EDT
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As conference play begins this weekend, the SEC has released a few reminders and updates regarding player and spectator safety at various venues. Please keep these in mind and be cautious - the Truck Nutz you save may be your own!
DAVIS WADE STADIUM
- Fans are reminded that referring to any alcohol illicitly smuggled into the stadium as "Top-Relf Liquor" will NOT prevent your ejection by security.
- Cowbells are welcome, except for games in which Danny Kanell is working as a commentator, as this triggers a Pavlovian response in Mr. Kanell which compels him to pull out the hair of anyone sitting within his sight line.
- If you see Sylvester Croom rooting through concession garbage, call animal control. DO NOT approach Croom yourself, as you may be infected with CRabies (which has all the lethargy of traditional rabies but none of the mania).
BRYANT-DENNY STADIUM
- Please do not throw objects onto the field, as this may dislodge Coach Saban from his booster seat.
- We are aware that no regulation currently prohibits fans from wearing "just this ratty polo shirt and an adult diaper full of ice." We therefore appeal to whatever shred of common decency you have.
- Machetes are available at all concession stands in the event of Kudzu Monster attack.
SANFORD STADIUM
- Reminder: lasers present a serious risk of blindness to players, officials, and other spectators!
- On the other hand, we do want you to be able to nail Mark Richt right in the apricot. Grazing an artery will merely cause a mess. So use your best judgment.
- As you leave the stadium, please be sure to dispose of all trash and deceased mascots.
NEYLAND STADIUM
- The Vol Navy is a valued part of Tennessee tradition, but please stop telling Holly Rowe you're promoting her to Rear Admiral.
- Pens are not allowed in Neyland Stadium, as Tyler Bray has proven he cannot be trusted with ink.
- Chemical tests have shown that Coach Dooley's hair is, in fact, not flammable. The 20-30 fans in attendance during the fourth quarter are encouraged to build campfires to fend off the crippling loneliness.
TIGER STADIUM
- Conversely, open fires are NOT PERMITTED in Tiger Stadium due to Coach Miles's doctor-recommended diet of Duraflame logs.
- "V" sales will stop at the end of the third quarter.
- Tailgates without the proper permits for Gladiatorial Combat With Animals (available as Form 223.B at the Baton Rouge Fire Department) will be asked to use nets and shields only.
DONALD W. REYNOLDS RAZORBACK STADIUM
- Parents are reminded not to bring infants or toddlers within harpoon range of any box occupied by Jerry Jones.
- The "PigScreen" in the North End Zone is not edible, so please stop asking.
- Fans, please do not give any money to Matt Jones. He is not just using it to "get his mind right and turn things around."
BEN HILL GRIFFIN STADIUM
- Simply Orange and Red Baron are, respectively, the official orange juice and pizza of the Gators. Nonetheless, we have eliminated sales of the "Screwdriver 'n Six-Meat Special" because it is a bitch to clean that puke up.
- Mirrors are not permitted in the stadium; if Coach Muschamp sees one, he will mistake his reflection for an enemy and head-butt it until either the mirror is destroyed or he loses consciousness.
- Fans ejected from the stadium will be offered a full scholarship at the University of North Alabama.
VANDERBILT STADIUM
- Though fans who exit the stadium will not be allowed reentry, you do not need to tell the ticket takers that you "mistakenly thought this was the Toby Keith concert and must have gotten your dates mixed up" when you leave.
- Please do not throw cash at the players in a desperate attempt to instigate an NCAA investigation just so somebody talks about Vandy for once.
- Any complaints should be sent to the following address:
Brandon Tutwiler
Sophomore (major undeclared)/Head of Vanderbilt Athletics
prtyfly4awhtguy@vanderbilt.edu
JORDAN-HARE STADIUM
- Please have photo ID ready, as the FDA has requested that we at least stop selling illegal prescription drugs to minors.
- Sunscreen will be available at all day games, courtesy of the Cecil Newton Fuck Sunshine Laws Foundation.
- We ask that you refrain from wearing bracelets engraved with "WDE," as medical personnel with relatively little football knowledge may mistakenly interpret this to be an alert bracelet indicating a Whipple's disease emergency.
COMMONWEALTH STADIUM
- Rich Brooks is a certified EMT. He will also let you die without batting an eyelash.
- Fans are reminded to keep their ticket stubs from the Tennessee game. In the event the Wildcats beat the Vols, these will be redeemable for membership in the Peerage of Scotland, a free helicopter, $500,000, and eternal youth
- For the sake of Morgan Newton's safety, please refrain from flash photography, making loud noises, or looking at the field when the offense is at work.
WILLIAMS-BRICE STADIUM
- Agreeing to party with Stephen Garcia will render you ineligible from ever being an organ donor or recipient.
- Please disregard any fans who insist that all laws, state and federal, are suspended during television timeouts.
- Ticket-holders in the south end zone are asked to refrain from entering the stadium prior to kickoff as we cannot guarantee your safety if Coach Spurrier decides to get a little 7-iron practice in.
VAUGHT-HEMINGWAY STADIUM
- We would like to reiterate that spectators who bring bear carcasses to the stadium will be denied entry. (This will also not bring back Colonel Reb.)
- Making direct eye contact with Coach Nutt may result in immediate rapture.
- In the event that the stadium needs to be evacuated, please, someone remember to get Barry Brunetti. He's a person, too.
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LANGUAGE, JACK
If you must use obscenities, mask them properly, like so: Crxxm.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
by jonfmorse on Sep 9, 2011 11:24 AM EDT reply actions 7 recs
That's my mistake.
I just assumed Crxxm was the way to refer to someone who died of CRabies.
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
Twitter: @celebrityhottub - iPad spambots only, please!
by Run Home Jack on Sep 9, 2011 11:25 AM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
then i would be CxastalCxwbell
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 11:45 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
as you wish
Are you going to AU? Also, I need 2 tickets to LSU game.. any leads?
8/17/11 Nick Bloomfield on Finebaum. I WAS THERE.
by Sasquatch Love on Sep 9, 2011 11:50 AM EDT up reply actions
not making the AU trip.
no leads on tickets right now, but i havent been looking, either. i’ll check with some of my folks & see if any are available.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions
much obliged
i expect there will be tickets at the game..thursday night games tend to have more no-shows..
looking fwd to drinking some top Relf liquors though
8/17/11 Nick Bloomfield on Finebaum. I WAS THERE.
by Sasquatch Love on Sep 9, 2011 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions
apparently there are a fair amount of AU tickets available
i have had several people offer to sell me their tickets to this weekends’ game. I just can’t make the trip, though.
-point being, there oughta be tickets for AU if you wanna go to that one, too
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 12:05 PM EDT up reply actions
wish I had known
sold my two extra on StubHub last week. Guess I should have thought to ask on here, but since I hardly ever post I didn’t think about it.
The TV schedule for tomorrow on CFN scout is riddled with errors
http://cfn.scout.com/a.z?s=451&p=2&c=557860
The Iowa, Alabama, and S Carolina games are all at the wrong times. Missouri apparently plays on Friday and Saturday.
That is truly pathetic. No wonder no one goes there any more. Is there any type of master college football tv schedule listed on EDSBS or SBNATION?
Right here actually.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Sep 9, 2011 11:27 AM EDT up reply actions
Chop Wood.
Gotta chop the wood til ya run out of wood to chop an you keep choppin it up smaller an smaller
Nevada @ Oregon
98 combined points + Gus Johnson. Tim Brewster tags along just to water down the dynamite.
You had me at "meat tornado."
As soon as I saw that announcer/game match
I knew Oregon was fucked.
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
Twitter
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Sep 9, 2011 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions
LaMike will give Gus plenty of things to shout about.
For one half, anyway.
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
Black Colol Reb
IS the funniest thing I can imagine. Well done
MICHIGAN STADIUM
- Down in front, please.
- Do not jingle keys within 20 feet of Brady Hoke. He sees this as a challenge.
- DOWN IN FRONT, WE SAID.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Sep 9, 2011 11:28 AM EDT reply actions 9 recs
/jingleskeys
Guys, quiet down! They can’t hear the noisemakers!
"You might as well appeal against the thunderstorm."
-William T. Sherman, the Battle of Atlanta
MST3K: Boggy Creek
[Scientist asks Arkansas guy where other Arkansas guy is]
Scientist: “I need to see him!”
Arkansas guy in movie: “But he’s at the stadium with 50,000 insane hog callers!”
Crow: “They’re calling insane hogs?”
__________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
by Ronnie D on Sep 9, 2011 11:30 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs
After falling to Arkansas in JerryWorld?
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 11:56 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The Aggies are not super-smart so don't confuse them
Someone’s head will asplode.
by jerry.bail.bonds on Sep 9, 2011 11:58 AM EDT up reply actions
I cherish the thought of chanting this at them when they lose.
Nick Bloomfield: EDSBS Hero.
Thirded
Probably won’t happen, but I’m hoping for another Frantastic 77-0 type game.
by Billy Sims' Fro on Sep 9, 2011 4:07 PM EDT up reply actions
O RLY?
Like it’s even possible to hang 77 points on a team that’s CLEARLY ESS EEE SEE ready, son. The Sooners will be lucky to score, like, 8 this year. CLEARLY Christine Michael and Cryus Gray, the greatest rushing duo in the history of rushing are going to run all over the Sooners and the rest of the Big XII. And do you really think they’re even the slightest bit worried that the game is in Norman this year? Yeah right! They’re going to be playing in places like Death Valley and Bryant-Denny NEXT YEAR. In sum, Sooner lame-o, we’re an ESS EEE SEE team, which means you can’t beat us. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you.
And another thing: Did you know that in the SEC . . .
Holly Rowe, Rear Admiral. Hehehehe.
Rum, sodomy, and the lash joke goes here.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 11:43 AM EDT reply actions
Camp Randall Stadium
- Please stop feeding Ron Dayne. We’re working diligently to get him back to the wild and he must learn to find food on his own.
- Don’t leave Budweiser bottles unattended, Bret Bielema obsession with “Leaving no wounded soldiers” will distract him from the game
- Finally, just because you can eat cheese and drink beer until you’re comatose doesn’t mean you should
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
by stempke on Sep 9, 2011 11:44 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Two hip-flask minimum strictly enforced
Though you may wish to have a confederate outside the student section carry them in for you. Per-Mar is less likely to body-cavity search those with full-price tickets.
Budweiser? Near Camp Randall?
Heathen. Point FTMFW.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:22 PM EDT up reply actions
You know that, I know that, but the tailgaters don't know that, plus Bielema's from Iowa, there's no accounting for taste in Iowa
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
There really isn't.
/Has been dating a girl from Iowa for about 3 years now. Game day is a hoot.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Memorial Stadium
- Any sightings of Cracky the Tiger with an enormous spoon and acetylene torch, edging ever closer to Howard’s Rock while whistling nonchalantly, should be reported to the nearest event staffer.
- While not disallowed, we encourage fans to leave all five star recruits outside the stadium gates as this has resulted in inexplicable yet severe recruit devaluation over an extended period.
- Please Fuck Clemson in an orderly fashion with consideration of those around you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Gamecock'n'Balls on Sep 9, 2011 11:44 AM EDT reply actions 8 recs
- Please do not report a lost child aimlessly wandering on the sideline. That is our head coach.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Sep 9, 2011 11:56 AM EDT up reply actions 10 recs
Ohio Stadium
- FUCK MICHIGAN, BROSEPH!
-Affliction/Ed Hardy gear are mandatory. This is your final warning.
- All projectiles hurled at opposing fans must weigh no less than 2 pounds.
-Please vomit in the aisles. That’s what they are there for.
- You may present to stadium staff for your “complementary” tattoo.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
by blanx73 on Sep 9, 2011 11:52 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
It is recommended to get east facing tickets
as your sweet fitted turned backward won’t keep the sun out of your eyes
Vote Bloomfield/Finebaum in 2012
Trollin' for Amurica
Please remove all styrofoam ice chest-toilets at the end of the game.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
by allicolls on Sep 9, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Ross-Ade Stadium:
1.
2.
3.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 11:53 AM EDT reply actions 15 recs
CARTER FINLEY STADIUM
- Please donate dairy products to the appropriate boxes at gates 1, 3, and 5 for the Cheesy Wilson statue that will harken the return of Our Program’s Savior.
- Clothing items with more than one color will be banned for being too offensive and loud for the coaching staff.
-Complimentary raincoats will be provided for visitors as protection against periodic hailstorms of airplane bottles and bags of urine from our esteemed boosters and current students.
Doak Campbell Stadium
- Please don’t forget to bring your blow-up dolls to the game. They count for attendance purposes.
- If you see any of the Bowdens, please don’t talk to them. It is our new policy that we act as if they never existed.
- We know that it has been a really, really long time but when the camera pans to you, try to remember to raise your index finger in the air and shout excitedly “We’re No. 1”
- And no, there are no words to the War Chant song. Stop looking at the scoreboard to see if the words to the song are being posted.
Son, I am disappoint.
Nary a VD or safety school reference? What has happened to the latest generation of Gator fans?
/Watches first 5 minutes of Idiocracy, and gets the answer.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Wake Forest already trademarked the best FSU lines
I witnessed the Kentucky - Western Kentucky derpfest of '11 and survived to tell the tale
The real error here?
Failing to title it this:
Bobby Bowden Ron Zook Field at Doak Campbell Stadium
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
Twitter: @celebrityhottub - iPad spambots only, please!
by Run Home Jack on Sep 9, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Lame duck win carried off by team after beating legend on field dedication day?
One of few positive memories of that era.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions
So now it's...
REDACTED REDACTED Field?
You had me at "meat tornado."
by Jack Fact on Sep 9, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Notre Dame Stadium
- Please ensure that your BlackBerry is charged before entering the game. Failure to monitor your Northwestern Mutual account during Northwestern Mutual commercial breaks will result in ejection from the stadium.
- We are aware that the ushers strongly resemble the mums, and that it is easy to confuse the two. However, please remember that the mums are for aesthetic value, and the ushers are absorbed by Tom Hammond’s gelatinous outer membrane and metabolized for sustenance.
- Stay at least 50 feet away from Brian Kelly at all times. Seriously.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 11:58 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
But the markets are closed on Saturdays, ergo no trading and no movement in the accounts.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Marshmallows are serious business and any throwing thereof will be dealt with swiftly, severely, and arbitrarily
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Yeah, Dayne's throws were pretty bad.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 12:21 PM EDT up reply actions
You forgot "no poors allowed".
Or is that just assumed?
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." - Wonka
That is NOT a rule?
The other team wouldn’t be allowed in if that were the case.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
sea of rec.jpg
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
In addition to their tickets,
All fans seeking entry to the stadium must be accompanied by two authentic Hammes Bookstore shopping bags each containing at least $200 of gear from our good corporate partners at Adidas.
Fans will be required to stand and appreciate the staff of the dining hall, computer lab, or facilities department when we bring them out on to the field at first commercial break of our good corporate partner NBC
Fans will be required to make at least two trips to concession stands during each half. Not only does it actually make some people stand up, but it also supports our good corporate partners of Coca-Cola.
"Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons"
by the beefy ghost of prop joe on Sep 9, 2011 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Well
little McKaeaghayghlaeagh O’Potatohan Schneider wanted a pink jersey.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
POST war...
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions
From County Munich
AUTHENTIC IRISH POTATO NACHOS TOPPED WITH BRATWURST AND QUESO
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Ohio Stadium
-If you’re looking for a freshman or a drunken male alum or sidewalk fan, just shout “O-H”. All freshmen are required to respond “I-O”, and all drunken sidewalk fans will do so as well.
-All fans are required to stand, remove their hats and place their middle fingers over their hearts for the traditional rendition of “Down With The Sickness”. There are no exceptions. Lyrics are on the screen.
-Feel free to fall over during the Buckeye Bounce. Someone might be there to catch you.
California Memorial Stadium
- Please do not feed the hippies hanging out in the trees.
- Please smoke weed in only the designated areas of the stadium.
- Never wear red into the stadium. Red turns the students into wild animals and you could possibly get hurt.
They must be very high already...
…if they’re reading these posted rules at the stadium. The actual games this year are across the bay at Pac Bell (or whatever it is now).
Kyle Field (what? they're your problem now SEC-ers... enjoy!!)
1. Please, don’t step on the grass. A sophomore in jack boots and a crew cut will try to stab you with a sword. He’ll then let Revellie take a shit in the grass that was too sacred for your Nikes.
2. There will be a mandatory timeout late in the 3rd quarter so that Mike Sherman can catch a quick nap. Coach Sherman loves nappy-nap time.
3. In College Station, you will see… … … things. Please respect diversity and remember that Crazy comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
A PLEASANT REMINDER:
You are now in bat country. Be on alert at all times and note that Texas A&M is not responsible for missing children or pets.
by SuperJew on Sep 9, 2011 12:08 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
Mane. Aggy hate bat purp.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 12:09 PM EDT up reply actions 10 recs
We were somewhere around College Station, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?”
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:12 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
"Please tell me about the fucking golf shoes!"
And You Will Know Us By The Trail of DERP
by Big Head Zach on Sep 9, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
We can't stop here.......
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Sep 9, 2011 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Actually, College Station crazy comes in only one color.
I can personally attest to #1, however…I was threatened with a sword in 2000 when Torrence Marshall ran back an INT FTW… Good times!
by Uncle Earmuffs on Sep 9, 2011 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions
4. The guys in the white outfits are not friendly delivery men from your local dairy- they are cheerleaders. No, really.
by Billy Sims' Fro on Sep 9, 2011 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Superdome (on Tulane game days)
- Bring a sweater. It may be 104 degrees outside, but this building’s AC has one setting, and it’s designed to be run when the place is filled with 60,000 warm bodies, not 34.
- If you spot an actual Tulane student, congratulations! Please bring the student to the “will call” box to receive your free gift of Green Wave gear. Also, please give the student a ride back to campus after the game.
- Beer and cocktails are available at the concession stands, so drink up! The NCAA, like most of Southeast Louisiana, is either entirely oblivious to the fact that there is a game going on, or simply doesn’t care.
by Nabb1 on Sep 9, 2011 12:06 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
No alkyhol is an SEC (and other conferences) rule, not an NCAA rule
Which is why LSU fans absolutely LOVE playing Tulane in the Dome. That and it’s a 10 minute drive from my house, and who doesn’t love paying $13 for a Coors Light at 11am?
Yo, don't say nuthin'. I guess I'm just a freak.
I'd pay $13 dollars for a Coors at 11am
because that’s usually too early in the day to have found the free beer…
/still lookin’ for free beer
/only slightly buzzed
Obligitory “are you a beer”, not “get me a beer” cartoon goes here
by Boclive on Sep 9, 2011 12:59 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm not so sure about that.
When Tulane hosted the NCAA baseball regional tournament, they locked up the beer concessions at the stadium per request of the NCAA. Same with when the Dome hosts the basketball tournament. I’ve been to Memphis basketball games at the Pyramid and it’s the same story – no alcohol.
NCAA championship events = no booze
Creighton sells beer at home basketball and baseball games, but not when they host CWS or NCAA basketball tourney games. (Or NIT apparently, which is ridiculous)
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Stupid NCAA
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Yup.
How am I supposed to handle a Creighton tournament loss without overpriced beer?
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
flasks.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions
I have nothing to say.
I’m just giddy that someone mentioned Creighton on EDSBS.
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
I re-read this comment in the correct voice after seeing the name.
It was better that way.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions
The Omaha contingent is strong.
we are legion
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions
restaurants per capita national championship!
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
by Ignignokt on Sep 9, 2011 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Lubbock's huge population skews its ranking when measured per capita.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
So Pittsburgh's ranking is screwed up, too?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Not as badly.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Either way, I think we can all agree
that the NCAA wouldn’t notice if the Superdome sold beer to the 478 Tulane fans at the games.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I thought those were derelicts.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Derelicts?
Why, I assure you, most of us have jobs and bathe with far more frequency than fans of that other school up in Baton Rouge.
by Nabb1 on Sep 9, 2011 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Damning self with faint praise autorec engaged.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions
i know about em
Crxxm lost to them, too
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
ahh. 2006.
took 3 weeks for the team to even score a point.
also, this was the team that beat Alabama that year.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Apparently,
Tulane fans don’t even know Tulane exists. Momma Bundy is a Tulane grad, and there were always cheap/free tickets to be had when I was a pup. I went to many a game dressed in purple and gold. No one cared.
Yo, don't say nuthin'. I guess I'm just a freak.
I’ve had a lot of discussions about this with other alums. I think the university should give tickets away to employees of the university and their families. The Dome is huge. There’s no reason not to. Or build a stadium on campus again. It’s ridiculous.
Back then,
She was taking classes and therefore qualified for student tickets. There were usually deals like “Buy 1 student ticket, get a guest ticket free” or something along those lines. It was a cheap way to have a fambly event. Even if the student tickets were in the nosebleeds, we would work our way down closer to field level in a matter of 5 minutes. One time the usher came to us in the rafters and asked us to move down so they could close off the upper sections and let everyone go home early. Embarrassing, really. But hey…how bout that engineering department!
Yo, don't say nuthin'. I guess I'm just a freak.
What away game do Ole Miss fans travel to in the highest numbers?
Tulane.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Would you rather spend a weekend in New Orleans or in Columbia or Athens or Starkville?
I can always tell who is playing LSU by all the fans wandering around downtown on Friday. Even people going to see their teams play at LSU stay in New Orleans instead of Baton Rouge.
Oh I totally agree!
We were thrilled to put Tulane back on the schedule last year. The weekend in New Orleans was much needed after the loss to Jacksonville St. In fact, I knew of several people who decided to go to the Tulane game at the last minute because “clearly we won’t be taking a bowl trip this year.”
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Ditto for Southern Miss
I started a petition in college to try to get us to play them in the Dome every year (even for our required “home” conference games).
Memphis has beer sales at FedEx Forum for regular games
I bought myself a beer at the Southern Miss game this year
Sun Life Stadium, Miami
- One firearm per person. Strictly enforced. OK, not enforced at all, actually.
- Children under seven must be secured in a booster seat if seated in club level.
- The booster seat rule also applies to the University President and certain actual boosters.
- The courtesy hookers are for players and recruits only.
- There totally is sex in the Champagne Room. Kids eat free.
- Fans dressed in the opposing team’s jersey risk having footballs thrown at them repeatedly by Jacory Harris.
by Ardbeg on Sep 9, 2011 12:07 PM EDT reply actions 13 recs
ALSO
- Jetski’s are an approved method of traversing the aisles
- Please do not touch the Cybex in the North endzone, it is not a toy
- Contrary to popular belief, opposing fans may actually be heterosexual, and are to be greeted as such.
I AM BECOME JC001, THE DESTROYER OF BOARDS
"Always the corn, never the hole"
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Tweety
by Lt. Philip Nolan on Sep 9, 2011 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
This is all true. I've seen it.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Mohr
Miami health officials wish to advise the public that the grilled meat sold by vendors outside the stadium limits are of unknown type and quality, and may include but not be limited to goat, stray dog and/or cat, Taco Bell “steak” circa 2004, Banquet Salisbury steak , and Goodyear tires model AD3345SE from a 1987 Buick reported stolen last August 23.
Welcome to Miami!
I used to be a heroin addict. Now I'm a methadone addict.
by Tigerbiglikebull on Sep 9, 2011 8:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Jack Trice Stadium (Iowa State)
-Please bring your oversized foam cowboy hat. Extra points if it is faded pink from sitting in the sun in the back window of your dad’s Ford Granada. It doesn’t matter if a cowboy hat has nothing to do with the state of Iowa, it is vaguely Big12-ish and when else are you going to be on Fox Sports Midwest again?
-Cover yourself in red and yellow paint. Ketchup and mustard will suffice and can be obtained at your place of employment.
-Leave the game at halftime. You can’t get back in but who wants to see their team crushed by 5 scores anyways?
by HawkeyeRecon on Sep 9, 2011 12:07 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
that's good hate
raht thar
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 12:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Hate? That's the honest truth.
Brent showed up in 2002, at least.
It cracks me up that it's absolutely necessary that you parenthesize what school plays at JTS.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Spartan Stadium
- Students must frequently remind themselves of the school colors, lest they forget. This is accomplished by organized shouts of “GREEN” and “WHITE” throughout the game. Please excuse this exercise, as if it is not performed, students frequently show up wearing mauve.
- There is no need to summon an usher when a fan vomits. The upper deck has been specifically engineered to be steep enough to allow vomit to simply flow down onto the lower bowl for convenience.
- However, please contact East Lansing Police or Michigan State Troopers immediately if a clip from 300 is not played before a third down.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 12:12 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Michigan Stadium:
-Please wear the most pissiest piss yellow you have to the stadium. If you must, urinate on a white t-shirt. It should last you for at least a quarter. The students will call this “maize”.
-Please do not bring a live wolverine to the game. It does not discriminate who or what it will maul based on color.
-Do not be confused by the constant shouts of “GO BLUE” despite the whole stadium being full of piss yellow. Blue is the team’s other color, and is only worn by players and old people.
-Please bring an extra set of keys to jangle on 3rd downs while sitting politely so that the obese man behind you, who is only 5’3, can see.
-Make sure to limber your elbows and wrists up, as the amount of time your head or chin spends in your hands during the game may cause joint strain.
by broski on Sep 9, 2011 12:17 PM EDT reply actions 10 recs
How delightful.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh no, I enjoyed it immensely.
Michigan hate gets Double Secret Recs today.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
One need not worry about bringing live wolverines into the stadium....
As I am sure there will be a blanx in attendance.
May Eris have mercy on your soul.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Sep 9, 2011 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Remember Jamal Burke? Highly touted linebacker recruit for Michigan.
Of course you don’t. Blanx does though, whenever he uses a toothpick.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
He was gamey.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
GERG will do that to a man.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
I've seen things, brother. Bad things.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
I now look like Hopper.
Which is bad, because I’m 37. The last three years have aged me.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Blanx does not EVER miss a game.
When I lived in NH, I flew in for games.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Triple threat
fast, strong, ability to fly
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions
So something like this?
Wonderful.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
With more fangs, and claws.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Furk.
Mane Aggie hate blanx purp.
Yo, don't say nuthin'. I guess I'm just a freak.
by DrBundy on Sep 9, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Bwahahaha.
I wish I knew more Aggies.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Ohio Stadium
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
by Mango Stasi on Sep 9, 2011 12:27 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
I didn't know a warning not to travel somewhere could make me laugh so hard
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
hell on earth?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
the last paragraph can be applied to few stadiums in the US and Europe
Stay safe
Independent travel is suicidal. Unpredictable armed conflicts among rival militias are prevalent in and aroundMogadishu_______ and can flare up with little or no warning. Lines of control inMogadishu_______ are unclear and frequently shift, making movement within the city extremely hazardous. When being escorted by armed security, it is best to be in an armored car. Infantry are highly likely to get engaged in street battles, and an armored vehicle can provide far better protection against most threats. A bullet proof vest is a must-have inMogadishu_______ . Again, the easiest way of staying safe is to not go unless vitally necessary.
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
However, Old Firm matches in Glasgow
may be appropriat/correct.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Sep 9, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Also, Partizan-Red Star Belgrade
Serbs, they are scary.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Olympiakos-Panathinaikos matches would like a word...
Two years ago someone was killed after a VOLLEYBALL MATCH
Nick Bloomfield: EDSBS Hero
Volleyball is serious shit
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
"George Teague doesn't give a shit what down it is. He gets the ball, or he dies." ~ Spencer Hall
by Blackheartnopants on Sep 9, 2011 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions
What reason do they have for hating each other?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Serious. I've never heard of those two clubs.
I imagine ethnic strife is involved.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Actually, not so much which is surprising for Serbia.
They’re just the two most successful and popular clubs in a country that has had a shitton of strife in the past 20 or so years. This coupled with right wing skinhead maniacs who use the games as an excuse to go buck wild and a country riddled with poverty, corruption and organized crime makes for some crazy ass shit.
The Superclásico (River Plate vs Boca Juniors) is also worth mentioning. There’s a big class divide between the fanbases (Boca = working class, River = upper/middle class professionals and government types). Of course, even though River is the yuppie team they rioted like motherfuckers when they got relegated this year.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Aha
So the Serbian one is probably rougher now than Old Firm matches. Though Old Firm was allegedly REAL bad during the 70s (Troubles + economic downturn)
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
There is no more ethnic strife in Serbia.
Non-Serbs got the fuck out during the Milosevic years. Although if anyone would carry on the tradition of ethnic strife even when there’s only one nationality around, it’s a reasonable bet it would happen in the Balkans.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 9:54 PM EDT up reply actions
I meant to say 'a few'
as in way too many to list
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
someone named broski would consider maize the color of their piss....
Seriously, drink some water. It might make your brain work well enough to be amusing.
Check out the Big Brain on Bry
/no hate just wanted to say it
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Clear Piss, Full Hearts, Cant Lose!
/jingles keys
by Panamahuh on Sep 9, 2011 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I'm all for some throwing around some good hate but lets try and keep it sporting, ok?
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Frack you too!
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
I'm prepared for a descending army of Michigan Men™
who will look down their nose and sniff huffily at me.
They will point at you while they do it.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Fixed that for ya.
who will look down their nose moobs and sniff huffily at me.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions
Fixed that for you, chief.
who will look down their nose and over their moobs and sniff huffily at me.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
And then yell DOWN IN FRONT
Famous last words…
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
/rip slash tear tear shred
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
/pic of Charlie goes here
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
I think many fanbases
Attack in their rival what they most hate about themselves.
Except Alabama, of course, cause Auburn really is just a bunch of fat, dumb, racist rednecks.
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
by TexaninNYC on Sep 9, 2011 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Come at me, Auburn bro!
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Over the line.
Not all of them are fat.
by Nick's Hat Band on Sep 9, 2011 3:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, you would type this when I was on lunch break.
I’m not even going to dignify this with a response. Personal attacks, while adorable in their own twisted little way, are only worthy of a dismissive wanking motion.
byre me a river
/up top!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
/ drinks more water
// takes a piss
/// come to think of it, FUCK WAKE FOREST too
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
It's really more of a baby-shit yellow.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 1:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Now, let's be fair, it's clearly "pus-filled infected wound" yellow
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
but GERG is gone
right?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Hence the pus.
GERG was hemorrhaging.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions
You must admit that it made a very good hair gel.
That sliver fox grease helmet of his always shimmered.
For that matter, it shimmered brightest against Notre Dame. Three years in a row to GERG. Is such a thing even possible?
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Welcome to Lockhart Stadium
Please remember, guests seated in Rows 1-12 behind the home coaches’ box may be exposed to high levels testosterone and Old Spice. Female guests seated in this area who wish to avoid the risk of inadvertent pregnancy should find an usher and request to be moved to a different section of the stadium.
by Nick's Hat Band on Sep 9, 2011 12:17 PM EDT reply actions
No biggie at all.
Hivemind is hivemind, especially when the joke is low hanging fruit.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Welcome To Autzen
-Ear protection encouraged, seriously its not a big stadium, they just pack this fucker with standing room only tickets.
-Re-entry is available for halftime tailgating, feel free to get smashed.
-If some ancient dude says it never rains in Autzen well, its raining, its always raining. Don’t bring a rain slicker, they are for pussies.
8/17/2011, a day that shall live on inside every dream of triumph.
- Watch out for a certain misogynist Slavophile
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
by Mango Stasi on Sep 9, 2011 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Threadjack alert
But I gotta say….been to Autzen, sick of hearing the “how loud it is” bullshit. There are nine stadiums in the SEC that are much louder, even for the 11:30 AM kickoffs.
That's a load of crap.
The recorded crowd noise was 130 db. I think Tiger Stadium and Florida Field are the only two that have ever been louder
That is patently false
But thanks for trolling
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
new commenter...beware of assholish-ness
especially since he’s only joined this site
Nick Bloomfield: EDSBS Hero
admit it..............you read "recorded crowd noise"
and thought he was referring to Kenan Stadium?
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
it wouldn't be so quiet if you'd sell some tickets to the opposition
its not like you’re using them……………………….or you could just turn up the amps
season opener? check
brand new end zone section? check
lovely sunny afternoon? check
announced attendance: 57,000?………..come on man
with attendance like that you’d better watch out. folks will start confusing you with that school over in Durham
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
Fun fact
Apparently only 14 schools sold out opening weekend.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
KSU. At home vs. Eastern Kentucky.
Doesn’t surprise me, since we pump the hell out of the season opener. What does surprise me? Next week’s game against Kent State is also already a sellout.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Seriously.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Sellouts are getting much more rare
Especially season ticket sellouts.
Renewals are getting pinched from two ends: faltering economy hitting people that want to renew, and secondary market sales becoming easier and safer than ever.
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
Potentially Damning News About UNC:
About half of the Blue Zone is paid for before they let go of Butch Davis. I really hope this end zone project doesn’t become a massive financial albatross.
(On the flip side: that means they’ll take to the hiring a football HC seriously, because we need to pay off that end zone with enthused fans who won’t be enthused for exceedingly safe/John Shoop hire. Fuck, I need a stiff drink now.)
take two stiff drinks and sleep until basketball season
look at the bright side, at least BOTBob and Price Tassel Loafer aren’t making the hire
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
I'm more concerned about the NCAA than the football season.
We should be around 9-8 wins, which is par for the course. Champs Bowl or Chick-Fil-A Bowl awaits if we’re allowed to go.
The NCAA, on the other hand, is anything but consistent. No use worrying about them, ’cause that die has been cast.
First things first, we need to hire a great AD candidate who won’t repeatedly fuck things up like Baddour did. (That assistant AD from SCAR seems to be the leader in the clubhouse, but again, who really knows?)
/gulps down a rum and coke
//pours another
You'll be in OK shape
unless your idiot donors proceed with the lawsuit over the Davis firing and make that position radioactive.
For one thing, your basketball program and its associated merchandising fucking print money, which is not something a lot of the rest of us can say. Also, the recession hasn’t straight-up destroyed the Triangle, unlike much of the rest of the country — which is important because those kind of seats aren’t solely aimed at traditional donors, they’re pitched as business entertainment venues.
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
Why is that a surprise?
The economy sucks, and a lot of schools with big stadiums schedule crappy buy games for their home openers to coddle their coaches and alums who think that every year is a “WOOOOO PAAAAAWWWWLLL NASHUNAL CHAMPEENS” extravaganza.
To pick on Ohio State (to take an example because FUCK OHIO STATE, that’s why), why would you expect to sell out at around $75/ticket to watch them play fucking Akron?
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Plus, in Columbus, you would have died in the stands.
My friend passed out from the heat. It was awful.
Ah, but see, Ohio State is a real football school and they sell out footbaw games.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Stated sellout, but a lot of folks stayed home
I was in SE Ohio on Saturday, and it was unseasonably and brutally hot — and humid. Folks who spend more time paying attention to such stuff than I do say the secondary market for OSU tickets has been very soft so far this year, with some ability to buy tickets for the MAC games for less than face value.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Well, regardless, it's a good thing devidee's a daywalker
‘cause he ain’t gettin’ into Snyder Family next Saturday.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
We sold out.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
AND YOU FED WELL
/fistbump
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
It turns out
Lightning struck Broncos make for tasty vittles.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
I'm guessing Wf'nVU was among the 14....
Listed capacity is 60,000 and announced attendance was 60,650 or so.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
well, it ain't deer season yet
what else they gonna do up there?
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
Dude, they come outta the woods even if it's deer season....
Mountaineer football is a serious passion in Wf’nV.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
I've been there many times and seen it firsthand
believe me, I do not question Wf’nV’s passion for football
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
It is always deer season in Wf'nV.
It’s just that some parts of the year you can shoot ’em, some parts you can shoot ’em with a bow. The rest of the time, you just have to run them down on the highway.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
312 straight
Looks pretty full to me.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 4:09 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Outmatched FCS school opponent? Check.
I’m not saying we have the greatest attendance in the history of ever nor the loudest of fans, but come on. Let’s wait ’til we get at least a decent FBS team in there before we can start the mockery in earnest.
I'm not Earnest
……….and don’t call me Shirley.
But you and I both know that for quite some thime UNC’s “announced attendance” and actual “asses in seats” is, well, errr………….
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
This is all that needs to be said for Notre Dame:
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
by Mango Stasi on Sep 9, 2011 12:32 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Los Angeles Coliseum
- All fans are required to wear maroon and yellow Harry Potter scarves despite the stadium’s location in Southern California. Failure to do so will result in immediate ejection and a deduction 15 points from Kiffindor.
- Stadium Services provides a courtesy shuttle to and from parking lots. Our staff is also happy to provide courtesy sherpas to visitors’ seats above the peristyle.
- It’s in South Cenral. We know. What the fuck do you want us do about it? Bring a fucking gun or something, I dunno.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 12:33 PM EDT reply actions 15 recs
Rec for "Kiffindor"
"Runners hate everyone. Never forget this."
by MacularDegenerate on Sep 9, 2011 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
run if you see this
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
Forgot to add following bullet, which is mandatory for attendance at all Los Angeles sports venues: Leave stadium during 3rd Qtr to avoid traffic, no matter score
by SKLM on Sep 9, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Rec for the rare SKLM self-deprecating post
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Williams-Brice Stadium
Be extra cautious of falling Gamecocks when walking near the Cockabooses.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Sep 9, 2011 12:34 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
And please help me up.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Sep 9, 2011 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions
no
no, i will not help you up, sbmwv. not this week at least.
"I am a sinner that does not expect forgiveness. But I am not a government official."
by whiskey_soup on Sep 9, 2011 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Notre Dame Stadium
-If you hear loud booming noises, ignore them. That’s Lou Holtz swinging a sledgehammer at a statue of Ara Parseghian trying to “wake up the echoes.”
-Make sure none of your clothing contains rips or tears, lest you be mistaken for a poor person by an usher and therefore subject to immediate ejection. Unless you’re a female co-ed, in which case stone-washed “destroyed” jeans which were fashionable in 1996 are perfectly acceptable.
-If you see Brady Quinn’s sister, feel free to use the free flamethrower provided to you at the gate. This also goes for Tom Hammond.
-DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE THE LEPRECHAUN. He has no gold and will only dye all your beer green.
That guy skateboarding over there, that looks 20 years too old to be skateboarding
He’s an “undercover” Excise Police Officer. Offer him a beer at your own peril
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
by stempke on Sep 9, 2011 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Rice Stadium
- Bring ample amounts of sunscreen and water unless you want this to happen. September in Houston is likely still warmer than summers wherever you live.
- Do not be alarmed at the lack of actual Rice students. On the odd chance that we are winning at halftime, word will get out and more will show up by the start of the 4th quarter
- Please ignore the MOB. We don’t know who keeps letting them in, but multiple pest-control efforts have failed.
- If you are a Tulsa fan (lulz) attending the game, expect to hear about how much of an asshole Todd Graham is. No, most people still are not over it.
- Sam McGuffie will enter the game by frontflipping onto the field. This stunt is performed by a trained front-flipping specialist. Do not attempt this at home.
- The offense will more often than not resemble a confused sack of cats operating out of 129 different formations. Rice Offense bingo cards are available at the front gate.
- Opposing fans are advised to refrain from the “What comes out of…” chant, as stuff like this isn’t really cool anymore. Just ask Ole Miss.
- Valhalla is closed Saturdays. We apologize for drinking all the 95 cent beers last night :(
...and the wind cries McGuffie
And...
- We once held a Super Bowl, but that was long ago. We haven’t sold that many tickets, combined, in the years since sooo…unless the high schools are holding there playoff games here, good seats are always available
- When you get bored and thirsty, The Ginger Man is a short walk to the west, for all you beer nerds.
- While there is a rumor that members of the Rice student body have penchant for streaking the quad on occasion this is nothing you want to see. Just trust us on this.
Robertson Stadium
- Please sign this waiver indicating that you are fully aware that city inspectors have not approved your seats.
- Your ticket entitles you to watch the game, just not necessarily within the stadium.
- PLEASE stop asking us when the Texans game is. For some reason we don’t play in their beautiful, taxpayer-funded stadium.
Nick Bloomfield: EDSBS Hero.
by lhb98 on Sep 9, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Historic Grant Field at Bobby-Dodd Stadium
-The opposing fans with the round things on their chests are “Women”. Please don’t stare.
-This is a football stadium, not a Pokemon stadium.
-Remember to stay in your seats for the special halftime show presented by the Imperial 501st.
by Bourbon Dawgwalker on Sep 9, 2011 12:43 PM EDT reply actions 11 recs
Actually, that'd be pretty awesome if the YJMB got the local chapter of the 501st to collab
And You Will Know Us By The Trail of DERP
by Big Head Zach on Sep 9, 2011 12:50 PM EDT up reply actions
The opposing fans with the round things on their chests are "Women". Please don’t stare.
You could say the same thing about Stanford Stadium.
by 49er16 on Sep 9, 2011 12:57 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Fun Baton Rouge Fire Codes Fact
Open flames are only allowed in public for the exact purpose of grilling meat. If you burn it, you better be able to eat it.
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
Oh, bravo
The opposing fans with the round things on their chests are "Women". Please don’t stare.
Greyshirted No More
Black Shoe Diaries
@runthedive
by Peter Gray on Sep 9, 2011 12:47 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
That CoverItLive thing last night sucked
either that or my circa 2007 wireless router can’t handle espn3 and interweb browsing simultaneously.
Jodan Hare additional notes...
- Children picked up by Spirit or Nova can be retrieved at the First Aid Station on the concourse under Section 46
- Any pants found on Pat Dye Field can be returned to Coach Dye in the locker room after the game
by BoKno on Sep 9, 2011 12:52 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
OT: This will make some of you feel old...
Randall Cobb is the first NFL player to have been born in the1990s
"Even if God is dead, you still gotta kiss his ass" - Tony Soprano
Williams-Brice Stadium
- If intoxicated, be sure to yell “GAME!” as often as humanly possible, even (and especially!) if no one responds with “COCKS!”
- Failure to /sandstormfreakout during Sandstorm is grounds for removal. Repeat offenders are reported to Jadaveon Clowney. You do not want this.
- Suggest to all visiting fans that they should visit 5 points after the game. They will never be seen again.
by never_go_full_dabo on Sep 9, 2011 1:10 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Five Points is dangerous, you say?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Sep 9, 2011 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
OH IT'S ON YOU PAPIST SCALAWAGS
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
by Mango Stasi on Sep 9, 2011 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
YOU WANT TO PLAY ROUGH, YOU BLOODY PROG?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Sep 9, 2011 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yes I do
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
There are many ways to kill a man, they say with bayonet, axe, or sword
but, son, a bullet fired from a shapeless guise leaves but the shell of a Thompson gun
Walk away me boys, walk away me boys, and by morning we’ll be free
Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear and raise what’s left of the flag for me
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
by stempke on Sep 9, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
All your flag are belong to him
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
On a related note
my friend is on his way up to Ann Arbor for tailgating and game. He’s looking for a rosary to leave on Fielding Yost’s grave.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Cool beans
Just so long as you don’t mind me sending Ara a fez in reciprocity.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Two Big Fella references in a week!
I haz a happee.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
He does have that larger-than-life quality, even just by the photos.
And You Will Know Us By The Trail of DERP
by Big Head Zach on Sep 9, 2011 4:17 PM EDT up reply actions
On the seventh day, the Lord rested.
But before that he did, he squatted over Alachua County. And what came out of Him was Gainesville.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Now that you've had a taste of my mutton, how do you like it?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Gangs of New Yawk rec.
Keep it up!
And You Will Know Us By The Trail of DERP
by Big Head Zach on Sep 9, 2011 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Point one is also applicable at TD Ameritrade Park in Omaha.
At least, for two weeks every summer.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions
/gamecock woman yells to shut up
//bleacher creatures say something about “stick up your ass”
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Darrel K. Royal Memorial Stadium
—Please make sure to patronize all of the sponsors that take up half the usable space on the gozillatron.
—Per City of Austin Ordinaice, crowd noise is not allowed to exceed 40db, so please do not raise your voice to support your team.
—If you do hear any loud sounds, do not be alarmed. That is just the visiting fans celebrating yet another “impossible” upset victory over the longhorns
by BroccoliD on Sep 9, 2011 1:33 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Forgot one:
—Marching Band? Who needs a marching band when we can play Zombie Nation 346 times per game?
YOU WILL NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE LONGHORN BAND
Nick Bloomfield: EDSBS Hero.
Not at all my intent
Just noting that the longhorn band is marginalized by all the advertainment on the godzillatron/PA system
Ugliest. fucking. uniforms. ever.
/throws down mic.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
How dare you impugn the honor of Nebraska's cheerleaders?
They are upstanding women who will not stand for your southern disrespect.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
She will mingle well in Ranchistan
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Sep 9, 2011 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions
I never said the chaps team wasn't hot.
They in no way balance out anything about your band. Those uniforms are so fucking awful they hurt my head. They sound great, but the minute they get a visual I will look away until actual football resumes.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Is it an SEC requirement...
that the band play “I Saw the Light” or “Tiger Rag”?
Just seems like every ESS C SEE band plays those tunes.
The best way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.
Lane Stadium
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
by Synaesthesia on Sep 9, 2011 1:55 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Notre Dame Stadium:
jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Sep 9, 2011 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Williams-Brice Stadium
/plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Sep 9, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions
FTFY
/plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm/ COCK CROW /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm/ COCK CROW /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm/ COCK CROW /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm/ COCK CROW /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm/ COCK CROW /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm /plays Sandstorm/COCK CROW /plays Sandstorm… ad infinitum
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Sep 9, 2011 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Odd, I thought their traditional call was "Go Big Red"
I guess that may have just been the last ND home game I watched.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
was that before or after you went to Arizona State?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
I don't know
but I do know it was before I started high school.
Do. Not. Eff. This. Up.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Sep 9, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions
GODDAMMIT SAX I WILL DRIVE TO WHEREVER YOU'RE HIDING NOW AND GUT YOU LIKE A BLANX
That is, if I don’t start driving completely the wrong direction for no apparent reason.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions
The Charles is at VT?
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Also
- Do not feed the Bud Foster. Doing so will cause him to become dependent on others to provide food.
- Dress code of maroon and/or orange sweatpants/sweatshirt is strictly enforced. Violators will be ejected from the stadium.
A proud Wacavhoosabrelier. now on Twitter
Also
- Legion Field is unable to guarantee the safety of fans who choose not to carry or be comfortable using firearms.
- Legion Field reminds you to drive your least valuable vehicle to the stadium, and please leave your hub caps at home.
- We are no longer selling tickets in sections 103-129, as those are most prone to falling cement.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Kibbie Dome
1. Please stop backing up your pickup trucks to the doors and asking for 50 lbs of salt and sand. This is a stadium, not a public works facility.
2. Ignore the smell of urine in the stands. Mark Schlereth still gets a little worked up on game days.
3. Is anyone here? No? Then why do we need notices?
Tom Osborne Field at Memorial Stadium
- One ticket gets you one seat. If your diet of corn, corn-fed beef, corndogs, butter with popcorn, and high fructose corn syrup means you require a second seat, see a marshal.
- University Police are on hand to curtail unruly behavior. Unruly behavior includes, but is not limited to: clapping, cheering, yelling, using four letter words other than “darn,” speaking of the years 2004-2007, being born after 1970, or not knowing when deer season is.
- The Tunnel Walk is a longstanding* Memorial Stadium tradition. Give it due respect. Because it will never, ever change.
- Devotions left at the Osborne/Berringer statue outside North Stadium will be collected and disposed of after 24 hours. Devotions left at the nearby Solich statue will be unceremoniously dumped after four. No one will be bothered by this.
- Runzas are a sometimes food. Their hot-like-the-core-of-the-sun insides are also a sometimes weapon.
- The teevee you bought at Sam’s Club is not bigger than HuskerVision. Please stop saying so loudly enough for others to hear.
- Warren Buffett reserves the right to claim your seat at any time. No, you cannot do anything about this.
- If you try to leave early, we will tell Bo Pelini where you live.
*since 1994
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
by Ignignokt on Sep 9, 2011 2:05 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
what about offerings left at the Callahan Voodoo Doll?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
The rum gets drunk up pretty quick.
Is very bad.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions
Addendum: those kids jumping up and down in the nosebleed section of the south end zone?
They’re students. Pay not attention to them, the noise they make or their attempts to “Take Back Gameday.” Dr. Osborne insists that they cannot be moved any farther from the field without cause for litigation. You may have to simply sit on your seat and ignore them. We apologize for the inconvenience.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Gawddamn STUDENTS.
Who do they think they are, coming to footbaw games?
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
DOWN IN FRONT!
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Liberty Bowl Stadium
- if you are reading these rules you are a visiting fan
- do whatever you want inside the stadium cause no one is watching and we don’t have any security
- enjoy your victory, but we ask that your team not pad its stats any more than necessary
- get the fuck out of this neighborhood before sundown…….no, seriously
- if you make it out aliveenjoy Bealle Street
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
by Eddie Teach on Sep 9, 2011 2:06 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
crap! ya hive'd me
- firearms are recommended
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Vaught-Hemingway Stadium
- Under no circumstances should you stand up unless a) you are a student or b) Ole Miss is inexplicably beating LSU in the 4th quarter.
- Female students will not be allowed in the stadium unless wearing heels at least 4 inches high. You will not be allowed to change into the flip-flops in your purse until the 4th quarter.
- Students, please give your bottle of bourbon to an alumnus, who will carry it into the stadium in a clear plastic bag. You may pick it up immediately inside the gates.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
FTFY
-Female students will not be allowed in the stadium unless wearing sundresses and heels at least 4 inches high.
Unfortunately Mississippi is 34% obese, so best case scenario means one of three sundresses will fall into DO NOT WANT
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
fortunately OM is 75%* out of staters
- may be exaggerated
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions
FACT: All of Germantown, TN has spent at least 1 yr in Oxford
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Except my cheerleader classmate
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Haha funny
I think 50% of my class from CBHS Memphis ended up there
"Lopez wants it away, and it's hit deep to left center, Andruw Jones on the run, this one has a chance... home run!, Mike Piazza!, and the Mets lead 3 to 2!"
SO THAT'S WHY MISS STATE HAS ALL THOSE COWBELLS
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
by stempke on Sep 9, 2011 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
get em at birth
Mississippi baby rattle
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Well somebody has to lead the rest of the herd
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Ah, the Guernsey. The dairy cow for people who think Holsteins are too lamestream
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
...
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Unfortunately, you've never been to Oxford on game day.
I do recommend.
by ding ding ding on Sep 9, 2011 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions
You B1G fan need to educate your northern friends
Sundresses are everything that is right in this world
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Modest, yet revealing
in all the right places.
I’m pretty sure we all know the value of sundresses. We just get to appreciate them far less often. More fat chicks, fewer sunny days. But the first day of spring, when all the pretty girls are out on the quad, is like a holiday.
This is exactly true.
Shorts day is magnificent.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions
That was the one day I felt I could afford to skip class.
Just bring a frisbee or football out all day with the bros, get sunburned, and admire the scenery.
Read a comment on OTE (I know)
That suggest they view them as an SEC thing that is to be hated as such
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
YOU DIDN'T GO TO WISCONSIN, WHY ARE YOU HERE???
Did you go to OSU?
/crickets
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
I admit that poster @OTE is both stupid and jealous
But there’s plenty of us B1G alums and students with a strong appreciation of the virtues of the sundress when properly applied.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions
The problem is that "shakers" seem to be a package deal with the sundresses.
And that’s a bit of a dealbreaker for the mansome B1G crowd.
by Albino Tornado on Sep 9, 2011 3:32 PM EDT up reply actions
also from OTE
(i think it was biggy24)
said that he’d rather see women at football games in jerseys instead of sundresses
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, he's an idiot.
We have them. I bet he’s an OSU fan.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions
I have no problem with women in jerseys
as long as the jersey’s mine and there’s leggings, or nothing, underneath.
by broski on Sep 9, 2011 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
So,
He prefers girls in a shirt that hangs down like a tent, as opposed to a dress that shows off the boobs and then hangs down like a tent?
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I don't approve of their existence.
My only jersey is a regular old replica Deuce McAllister Saints jersey, and it only gets worn while watching the game at home. I wear cute black/gold stuff to the actual games.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Let's review....
THIS:
OR THIS:
I think the choice is clear.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
especially since the second girl only has one arm
Clearly Siamese Blonds >>>> One Armed Girl
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
by VUfanInNJ on Sep 9, 2011 3:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
He can be found outside Galatoire's
eating chips dipped in a mixture of Rotel and Velveeta, and telling all how delicious Ohio cuisine is.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Sep 9, 2011 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I believe his argument was that you couldn't tell if she was fat
Which may have more to do with this eye glasses prescription than the sun dress
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
His argument is that a jersey can shows his intelligence on the matter
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions
The "women's cut" certainly doesn't hide anything shape-wise
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
I think jerseys in general are a cold weather thing
Have seen them on dogs more than people down here
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions
It has nothing to do with cold, unless you think 70 degrees in September is cold
It’s the difference in perception of what a football game is. In the South, specifically the SEC, football games are “social events.” Hence the need to look a certain way, whether it’s sun dresses or shirts and ties. While elsewhere the football games are “sporting events” and everyone who wants to vicariously relive his glory days feels he should wear a jersey.
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
I knew it wasn't weather related
But wanted to include ND in with B1G and wasn’t sure how else to do it
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 3:13 PM EDT up reply actions
That's exactly it.
While the game is certainly the most important part (for most of us, anyway), we go to games partly to mingle with friends and to see and be seen. Southerners in general have that “Bitch I love you but you better not be wearing a cuter dress than me” attitude and gameday is no exception.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
/Prepares polo or button up for tomorrow (depending upon temps)
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Button up and bowtie with light starch
Haterz be damned.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I feel like that's not something totally limited
to Southern women.
However, when I said that I not only do not own an Ohio State jersey, but recently gave away my last Ohio State t-shirt, my female friends all expressed shock and dismay.
I'll never understand Ohio girls.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
You have won my adoration as most sane OSU fan
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions
I'll take that as a compliment.
I spent a lot of my formative years in Huntsville – got some southern exposure.
My mom's from next county over
/high five!
by ItsComplicated on Sep 9, 2011 3:34 PM EDT up reply actions
70 Degrees in September *is* cold in the South
Hell, my last year at Ole Miss our coldest game – and the ONLY one where the temperature was below 70 – was our spring game. I had all these cold weather outfits planned for October and November games and ended up having to recycle sundresses from the previous season because it would never cool off.
by Catfish Row on Sep 13, 2011 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions
Is it possible that his point was the opposite?
Didn’t want to know what exactly he was hitting on until it was too late?
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, that guy is an idiot.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 3:11 PM EDT up reply actions
The North Face is the B1G version of the sundress.
by SuperJew on Sep 9, 2011 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
PARKA PARKA PARKA
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, except North Faces are required for survival by both genders.
I would have frozen to death at the Michigan game if I didn’t have my north face fleece. Love that thing.
four years at B1G country colleges, never owned a North Face
I was shunned by polite society throughout Chicago and the Twin Cities.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:58 PM EDT up reply actions
I never had a North Face, either.
Zip up hoodies, henleys, and flannel. When it gets around 15 degrees bust out the heavy coat.
Will engineer for food and loan payments.
True story
My niece who attended Ole Miss came for a visit. She went shopping on Palm Beach and came back with a silk [designer] sundress. When I commented on how beautiful it was, she said that it will be PERFECT for the upcoming football game.
/jeans&tshirt
Well-heeled Ole Miss girls go to New York in the spring to stock up on gameday dresses.
Can’t just pick up a blue dress at the nearest department store because another girl might have the same one.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
And I didn't go to Ole Miss why?
My Yankee accent could have been seen as “exotic.”
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Somehow I don't think they'd approve of interspecies relations
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
I'm cuddly, at least at first.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
You'd get trapped and eaten if you ever stepped off of campus
Vote Bloomfield/Finebaum in 2012
Trollin' for Amurica
That's a risk I'm willing to take.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
that's the most absurd/dedicated thing I've ever heard
that, or a cynical ploy to get daddy to pay for a trip to NYC.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Daddy knows his money is well spent
If Princess’s date to the game is a wealthy, preppy, future doctor/lawyer/banker/whatever.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
future lawyer thinks he went to the wrong school?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
BINGO!
Mr. Simpson, this procedure could drastically increase your brain power, or it could possibly kill you.
Hmmm... Increase my killing power, eh? Let's do it!
by car.full.of.midgets on Sep 9, 2011 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions
In their defense, Bama bangs predate Bieber.
Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson.
by Albino Tornado on Sep 9, 2011 3:36 PM EDT up reply actions
There's a definite distinction.
We wouldn’t expect a northerner to understand.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Beiber hair is flat-ironed Bama bangs.
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
Ole Miss "rich" guys in the 90's....
meant Daddy owned the biggest Farm Bureau/State Farm insurance agency in Tylertown/Wiggins/New Albany/Pontotoc and the kid drove an Eddie Bauer Limited Edition Ford Explorer.
Also, “had a connection” with someone in Widespread Panic
I don't know who's the marketing team behind the 911day.org commercial, but it's like they compiled a list of people who I least care about what they're doing to remember 9/11
Pauly D from Jersey Shore
Lady Gaga
Fran Drescher
NAS (What are you doing in this commercial)
Drake Bell
Julianne Hough
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
What, no Carrot Top?
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Kathy Griffin's agent clearly fell down on her job.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Is Hough in a patriotic bikini and doing something, um, bouncey?`
No?
Then I don’t give a shit about anything on that list.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions
She literally has the least screen time
All she says is “go to 911day.org and share what you’re doing to remember.” The rest of them all at least talk about what was going through their minds when it happened, adding a little bit of weight to the proceedings. Hough is just all bubbly and smiley.
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Red white and blue
and a flimsy excuse:
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:14 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
You would wouldn't you?
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions
Would she blame me?
That’s the question.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, because doesn't she LOOK like her?
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
/shiftyeyes.gif
But they are similar in many ways.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
WD-40.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions
she started by buying herself a drink
/pretty sure i’m doing it wrong
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
by Ignignokt on Sep 9, 2011 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Sigh, yet another thing I kind of wish I didn't know
They print a lot of regular old bikini type fabric to look like other fabric.
I believe we’re dealing with a denim print bikini here
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
So did female Florida fan.
And from a cause other than walking 20 feet to get another bag of off-brand Dorito’s, too.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions
O MAI IS THAT A SAM'S CLUB COLA?
/pheromones are a deadly weapon
by SuperJew on Sep 9, 2011 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Pajama Jeans FTL
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions
A couple of those people were probably in like, middle school in 2001.
Can we get some actual people with actual memories for this commercial? Fran Drescher doesn’t count.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
TO THE WIKIS
Age in September 2001
Paul Del Vecchio – 21
Lady Gaga – 15
Fran Drescher – 43
NAS – 27 (nearly 28)
Julianne Hough – 13
Drake Bell – 15
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
According to the lady that I live with and runs my life
They are all much older than you would think
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks
by Rapeablyfresh on Sep 9, 2011 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions
They are both younger and richer than I am
still wouldn’t trade my life for theirs. Smelling like axe all day sounds awful
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks
by Rapeablyfresh on Sep 9, 2011 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
whu?!
that makes all of it exponentially worse.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Vinny is the youngest, he was still in college when it started
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
I think Sammi is 22-23
If I’m not mistaken. Snooki is on the young side too.
"Lopez wants it away, and it's hit deep to left center, Andruw Jones on the run, this one has a chance... home run!, Mike Piazza!, and the Mets lead 3 to 2!"
But in human years, Snooki's got to be around 175 or so, no?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Him and Situation are both in their 30s
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Who doesn't care about Nas?
His new stuff is pretty fire.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Snarky answer: Network Attached Storage
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Well that and the fact that his real name is as Muslim as Muslim can get except for the Jones stuck on the end of it
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Now I'm even more confused
The first four are either from New York or near enough that that it’s conceivable that they were included because they had a direct connection to the tragedy. Hough is from Utah, and Bell is from California. This makes no sense. I need to stop thinking about it.
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
I honestly have no idea who Hough is.
Yes yes, google and all that. Nonetheless, zuh?
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions
She's former professional dancer that turned her stint on Dancing with the Stars into a country music career
See the things you learn when you have a live in a girlfriend/wife.
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Ah, right. I used to have one of those (not a wife)
I learned many things about pop culture that I’ve subsequently forgotten.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions
/Footloose remake OUT OF FUCKING...
…never mind, they’ve been waiting to remake that forever.
Nick Bloomfield: EDSBS Hero.
Google is a wonderful tool
I had to use it to figure out who he even was. All i knew is he looked vaguely like an even skinnier Joseph Gordon Levitt
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
Mountaineer Field at Milan Puskar Stadium
-Yes, your seat is on fire. As is the seat of the person next to you. That was intentional.
-If you are not from here, don’t drink the clear liquor. Seriously, don’t. You can’t handle it.
-The state name has three words in it: West Fuckin’ Virginia.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
by blanx73 on Sep 9, 2011 2:08 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
That second item is the truth. When I was in North Carolina, I drank some moonshine (a buddy of mine and I split a quart)
and the rest of the week were introduced as “These are my friends from Wisconsin, but don’t worry, they can handle their shine.”
I’ll tell you a secret: I couldn’t handle it. I kept it together just long enough to discreetly vomit.
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
When I go hang out with the family
I have to re-train my liquor, and drink like it’s my job for at least a couple of weeks ahead of time. It’s like training for a marathon.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Or your liver?
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Li-ver?
Whazzat?
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
"My liver died three years ago"
~Jamie Blake (aka Dean Martin)
Yo, don't say nuthin'. I guess I'm just a freak.
what liquor do blanxes drink?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Tequila, I tell you what.
At least, not anymore they don’t. Whoa.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Tequila.
Wooooooof.
Most species of broski’s drink tequila. I do not.
/does not remember any of the cinco de mayos the last 4 years
Last Sunday
Capped off an afternoon at the pool with mass consumption of tequila.
Then got it into my head to start in on the Kraken.
Bad times campers. Very bad times.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Tequila
Is responsible for the only time I got kicked out of a bar for being too drunk.
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
Many forms of alcohol coalesce peacefully in your stomach as long as they got there before the beer.
Tequila, however, attempts to start a fight with anything else that enters the stomach.
tequila can make you try to fight furniture
/true story
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions
try?
So you lost then?
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
it was at best a draw
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
#ROLF4HEISMAN
by CoastalCowbell on Sep 9, 2011 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Fighting a chippendale was a bad idea for CCowbell
the hardness of the wood . . . ow.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
What you did there, was hopefully not on purpose
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions
And now I see it....
and wish I could unsee it….
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
Hits you right between the eyes
As it were.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
We iz smartz
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Sep 9, 2011 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions
I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING!!!
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Apparently it inspires me to text in Spanish.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I do this for fun anyways.
Especially when people can’t get to google translate on their phones.
You want directions? Derecha, bitches.
...I can dance on my own grave. THANK YOU...
by Boozy McHound on Sep 9, 2011 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions
My buddy was a member of the Washington Generals, who travel with the Globetrotters.
They were in Raleigh for a game and hung out at my off-campus house for drinks. They cleaned me out of all my rum, tequila, brandy, and most of my beer.
Much tomfoolery was had that night. I did not go to class the next day.
I ended up running through the streets of LA
In boxer shorts and cowboys boots. Then I broke into a UCLA fraternity house because I was convinced they stole my clothes. I was right.
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
Depends upon the tequila
Cuervo is vile gutrot, and should never be drunk by anyone with a stomach lining more sensitive than that of a hammerhead shark. Good tequila, on the other hand, is blissful and mellow, and makes you love the entire world.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Apparently, I have the stomach of a hammerhead....
Used to drink Cuervo Gold by the quart. Still can drink 6 or 8 or 10 shots in an evening.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
This
And my is a thing of wonder and awe. Throw in wine and mix them up in any order and I am just fine.
Applies also to spicy foods. Whatever you are eating, it needs more scoville units.
/these are blessings and curses
The spicy, I can handle.
The terrible tequila, not so much. Hint: if you have to use a lemon and salt with your tequila, or some form of hot sauce, and you’re not doing it to sway the evening in the direction of body shots, than you’re drinking shitty tequila. Pay the extra couple of bucks and get better stuff; it’s worth it.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I drink my Cuervo neat with a beer back....
No salt, no lime, no need for training wheels of any kind.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
If you're shooting it why pay more?
Same goes for drinks with heavy mixers.
Only thing I pay the extra money for when shooting is vodka…because there is no excuse for Smirnoff, ever.
Is how Russians drink it.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
I consider myself at least a moderately successful drinker.
I do not aspire to “Russian”
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
though the "how to drink like a slav"
feature has been very helpful in fighting hangovers.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
How to Drink Like a Slav
- Drink
- Return to Step 1
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions
It's actually a very long, very helpful
how to. Involving starting off the day with a big fish dinner.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
This may pre-date my lurking days.
Shall investigate.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 3:07 PM EDT up reply actions
It's in your email inbox now
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
I tracked it down.
We’ll see how my Scandinavian blood handles this at the next tailgate.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Da, forgot about Poles
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
Just because you're shooting a liquor doesn't mean you can't savor the aftertaste.
But obviously, good tequila is for sippin’ not shooting. Well, at least before 2330, it is.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Sep 9, 2011 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Didn't like
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
If left to own devices-
scotch.
Fambly drinks bourbon, so I drink the brownest of the brown liquors.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Mountaineer Field at Milan Puskar Stadium Additional Notes
-If the crowd is singing “Country Roads” at the end of the game either join in or shut up. Extraneous chatter may get you gutted like a trout.
-If someone in the tailgate area offers you any type of smoked wild meat, try it. They probably killed it themselves and would find your refusal to partake inhospitable.
-Avoid upsetting the locals. There is a reason the University Medical Center is right across the parking lot.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Sep 9, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
See Bullet 3
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
I think they'd crash and burn amongst the crowd.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
John Denver sang "Country Roads" there when the stadium opened in 1980....
I sang along with him. It was my last football season in Morgantown.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
Memorial Stadium
“Country Roads” was the 7th Inning Stretch song at Memorial Stadium for O’s games.
/loveyaWildBill
still is the 7th inning stretch song at Camden Yards
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
Mountaineer Field at Milan Puskar Stadium (cont,)
- Real Tree and/or Advantage are required elements of your attire- even you, ya slick
- all women must be either 114 lbs and cutern’ hell or over 262 lbs- no exceptions
- teeth are optional
- yes, we can tell if you are not from around here. Remember, the hills DO have eyes
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
Alumni Stadium
- Comments about Doug Flutie’s height are punishable by stoning. And yes, He will cast the first stone.
- There is a $10K minimum donation for bookies to enter the locker room prior to game time. $20K if you want the coaching staff to leave the room.
- We are a hockey school. This explains the hitting, lack of scoring and bad haircuts.
I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.
"And yes, He will cast the first stone."
- You may feel a sharp pain in your knee.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Sep 9, 2011 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
A Boston College fan claiming their hockey team knows how to hit? Can't be.
FUCK YOU NATHAN GERBE
Nick Petrilli? I liked him better when he was NickBloomfield.
by stempke on Sep 9, 2011 3:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wake Forest: We are a school
/ACC sighs
A proud Wacavhoosabrelier. now on Twitter
by wahoocrew on Sep 9, 2011 3:36 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
UNC: "We have no idea what the fuck we are anymore."
/ACC laughs
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
Maryland: "We have new helmets."
/ACC sighs, looks skyward and mutters, “Jesus Christ.”
by mnHorn on Sep 9, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Scott Stadium
You have the option of 1) adhering to the Scott Stadium dress code or 2) bringing documentation showing that you are a (legitimate) descendant of William the Conqueror
Please disregard the No Fat Chicks sign that Heath Miller left behind
On hot days, feel free to fan yourself with one of the many Fire Al Groh signs still on the premises
I'm a little confused
Is this snark about UVa’s female population or snark about Heath Miller? I must know so I can respond properly
A proud Wacavhoosabrelier. now on Twitter
UVa's female population is takes some getting used to.
If you can look past the powdered wig fetish, that is.
Heath Miller
I was there at the same time as him. He was a libidinous lad.
by Bobby Big Wheel on Sep 9, 2011 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Related to the Ole Miss discussion upthread, I have no issues at all with the Scott Stadium dress code
A proud Wacavhoosabrelier. now on Twitter
To be fair, this is from the Foxfield Races, but the concept still applies to football games. Maybe less pastel shirts and more orange and blue ties
A proud Wacavhoosabrelier. now on Twitter
You people.
::shakes head::
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
by JoshCVT on Sep 9, 2011 3:53 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The frats are trying to do that here in Chapel Hill
which just makes us look like cheap imitators of SEC schools. Which makes me somewhat sad.
Cannot join SEC
No clear delineation between T-shirt fans and sundress fans.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Ah Virginia
Or as Frank Howard referred to them, “the white meat” of Clemson’s schedule.
by never_go_full_dabo on Sep 9, 2011 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions
You sure it's not more like an audition?
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
by TexaninNYC on Sep 9, 2011 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Ryan Field
-Make sure to wear purple. This will contrast nicely against the white walls and will blend in with the seats so that at least one half of the sadium will apear occupied. Bring the keys to your father’s BMW to jingle at the other team.
-You remember the Zeig Heil? Well, just do that all game long, and just bend your fingers slightly. That makes it not racist and totally a cool thing.
-Never ever leave before the fourth. If you do, you’ll miss the combeack of the century. For the other team.
-No, you arent lost, and no, Michigan Stadium didnt magically shrink. Yes, this is a home game, and yes, all the alumni sold their tickets for 6 times face value to the Michigan alumni. This is referred to as “porfolio diversification” by the Alumni and it’s a thing.
Honest question that sounds snarky:
can you remember a NU sellout crowd that wasn’t majority for the visiting team?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
I may have a skewed perspective, since students face the opposite side of the stadium and we cant see the mainly Northwestern section next to and behind us
But most sell outs look to be between 60-40, either way. I think we’ve had the majority, but not by much. This disgusts me.
Oh what is THIS?
Howl Towel? How dare he
“I’d like to encourage the Wolfpack faithful to Stand Up, Howl, and Wave your towels this season” – Coach O’Brien
#RonPforNCState
/surelytheytrademarkedthepowertowel?
might be an improvement
Have you seen the the little thing they do with their fingers when the howl?
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
Wagner Field at Bill Snyder Family Stadium
-Please remember, when Kansas State records a first down, to signal downfield. Accidentally signaling the wrong direction may cause injury; accidentally signaling toward the field may lead to fisticuffs and ejection.
-In the event of an apparent injury to a Kansas State player, Coach Snyder asks that you please refrain from audible speculation so as to avoid giving the opponent hints.
-Be advised that the crowd is expected to treat the annual practice scrimmage against the Texas Longhorns with the proper carefree attitude. Early setbacks should not be cause for dismay among the crowd, as Kansas State will win in the end anyway.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
by jonfmorse on Sep 9, 2011 2:58 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Knowing bullet one is rarely necessary.
by T-Jax, Field General on Sep 9, 2011 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions
These days?
Perhaps. Either we don’t have any offense, or we score at will.
The Wiki (I Don't Have a Real Name Yet) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Oh that's good
-Be advised that the crowd is expected to treat the annual practice scrimmage against the Texas Longhorns with the proper carefree attitude.
Is this a good time to start a hot coaches wives' thread? Ms. Kiffin says hey.
I used to be a heroin addict. Now I'm a methadone addict.
by Tigerbiglikebull on Sep 9, 2011 8:41 PM EDT reply actions
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