FanPost

Rice University weighs in on Conference Reallignment

Leebron, you ready for this?

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Yo Del Conte let's kick it

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All right stop congregate and listen

Rice is back with amorous intentions

Beebe needs to move quickly and rightly

A&M’s out and four others soon might be

What can make it stop? A tenth team.

Notre Dame Irish? A pipe dream.

SMU is forever ruined by scandal

Houston’s academics simply don’t hold a candle

Only one school fits, it’s easy to see

So I preach to the beats of the M-O-B

 

Engineering wins since Nineteen-twelve

Four Cotton Bowl trophies on the shelf

Ain’t got many girls but we are so smart

We can build sex robots that will steal your heart

Difficult math problem? Yo we'll solve it

Ten minus one plus us resolves it

 

Rice Rice maybe?

Vanilla Rice Rice maybe?

Just chill with Rice Rice, Beebe?

Big 12 needs Rice Rice baby!

 

Now that A&M is jumping

Larry Scott and Bob Stoops are already dry humping

Baylor says they might sue but we know they faking

Okie State and Red Raiders are ripe for the taking

Kansas schools are Big 12 dependent

Got so much TV money but they already spent it

Iowa State’s in the storm with nowhere to go

Texas thinking 'bout time to go solo

 

But Rice got a 4.0

Learnin’ all kinds of shit Ken Jennings don’t know

The girlies at the Wash 'n Dry don’t even say hi

Do we care? Naw, go home, watch Firefly

Without us you’ll be fucked like Clemson

Like those hookers when Craig James (allegedly) pulled an OJ Simpson

12-3 = Purdue

So come to Houston and continue to University Avenue

 

We’ll be the ones at the hadron collider

Blowing shit up like an atom divider

Jealous Houston Cougars can’t even spell quark

Stayed up all last night trolling them on Fark.

So our quarterback is four feet tall?

But we got shit in our chem lab fuck you up like Eight Ball

Plenty of seats for our football guests

Students don’t show, they cramming for Diff EQ tests

 

So what if we suck at the game?

It’s a free conference win, turn that down, you’re insane

Don’t give two hoots about stealing your recruits

Cause top grades and test scores are admission absolutes

Don’t leave the Owls in the dark

Let’s start this Odyssey like Arthur C. Clarke

The Aggies caused this problem but yo we'll solve it

Ten minus one plus us resolves it

 

Rice Rice maybe?

Vanilla Rice Rice maybe (hoot-hoot)?

Just chill with Rice Rice, Beebe?

Big 12 needs Rice Rice baby!

 

Rice Rice baby (too cold)

Negative 273 Celsius up in here.

Rice Rice baby (too cold)

Word to your mother

Rice Rice baby (too cold)

QED, bitches.

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