The Les Miles: A wheatgrass shot topped off with Absinthe. Somehow, two jiggers fit in a one jigger glass. No one can explain this.
The Nick Saban: Gasoline, and he'll just stare and you and call you a pussy bitch until you down it. Then he'll pour you another.
Luke Fickell: Jaegerbombs, BRAH. Of course, the NCAA will come back two hours later and pump your stomach, but you enjoyed it the first time, right? (Note: if you enjoyed it the first time, you're pathological and a terrible person)
Chip Kelly: Will just pour a bottle of HRD Vodka down a bong until you puke. Then he'll just keep pouring for the hell of it.
Mark Dantonio: Bayer asprin, nitro tablets and a glass of warm milk.
Will Muschamp: BLOOD, LOTS OF BLOOD. MAKES THE GRASS GROW. BOOM, YOU PUSSY. DRINK UP.
Lane Kiffin: Kahlua, piss, and Hypnotiq. Somehow this manages to taste only slightly better than the taste left in Tennessee fans' mouths.
Tom OBrien: Lukewarm water, straight from the tap. Good enough for pa, good enough for you. /flicks speck of dust off powder blue oxford and khakis.
Gene Chizik: A bottle of stolen Mike's Hard Lemonade. Paid $180 bucks for it.
Mack Brown: "HEY, MANNY. GET ME A DRINK, AND PRONTO"
/I'll take a Holgo, please.