New Classification Scheme
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 9, 2011 12:06 PM EDT
Email
PrintEd. note -- This is absolutely brilliant. Front page'd con gusto.
A few weeks ago, someone stated that schools that have the same mascot should play each other. Well, it is next to impossible to keep a librarian from thinking about classifications. So here is my attempt at creating new and uneven divisions for all schools.
The reasons for some of the division breakdowns are the following:
Because trees are a crop, Ohio State and Western Kentucky are included in the Agriculture/Ranching Division
For Akron the choice was between the mascot and a rubber shoe?!? The choice was made to use the mascot.
The Chromo Division includes the subdivision with the same name and the Storm/Water Subdivision because the way the sky changes color before a storm. Since storms are also supernatural it seemed like a good place for that subdivision.
Remember this is not realistic and is just for fun. So, criticize away humble minions of EDSBS!
For my next classifications I will use both DDC and LC!
| AGRICULTURE/RANCHING DIVISION | ||||||||||
| AGRICULTURE SUBDIVISION | BOVIDAE SUBDIVISION | EQUIDAE SUBDIVISION | RANCHING SUBDIVISION | |||||||
| Nebraska | Cornhuskers | Buffalo | Bulls | Boise State | Broncos | Oklahoma State | Cowboys | |||
| New Mexico State | Aggies | Colorado | Buffalos | Southern Methodist | Mustangs | Wyoming | Cowboys | |||
| Oklahoma | Sooners | Colorado State | Rams | Western Michigan | Broncos | |||||
| Texas A&M | Aggies | Marshall | Thundering Herd | |||||||
| Utah State | Aggies | South Florida | Bulls | PLANTAE | ||||||
| Western Kentucky | Hilltoppers | Texas | Longhorns | Ohio State | Buckeyes | |||||
| ANIMALIA DIVISION | ||||||||||
| CANIDAE SUBDIVISON | FELIDAE SUBDIVISION | AVES SUBDIVISION | MACROPODIDAE | |||||||
| Connecticut | Huskies | Arizona | Wildcats | Air Force | Falcon | Akron | Zips | |||
| Fresno State | Bulldogs | Auburn | Tigers | Arkansas State | Red Hawks | |||||
| Georgia | Bulldogs | Brigham Young | Cougars | Ball State | Cardinals | MUSTELIDAE SUBDIVISION | ||||
| Louisiana Tech | Bulldogs | Cincinnati | Bearcats | Boston College | Eagles | Michigan | Wolverines | |||
| Mississippi State | Bulldogs | Fuck Clemson | Tigers | Bowling Green | Falcons | Wisconsin | Badgers | |||
| Nevada | Wolf Pack | Florida International | Golden Panthers | Eastern Michigan | Eagles | |||||
| New Mexico | Lobos | Houston | Cougars | Florida Atlantic | Owls | REPTILIA SUBDIVISION | ||||
| North Carolina State | Wolfpack | Kansas State | Wildcats | Kansas | Jayhawks | Florida | Gators | |||
| Northern Illinois | Huskies | Kentucky | Wildcats | Kent State | Golden Flashes | Maryland | Terrapins | |||
| Washington | Huskies | LSU | Tigers | Louisiana Monroe | Warhawks | Texas Christian | Horned Toad | |||
| Memphis | Tigers | Louisville | Cardinals | |||||||
| SUIDAE | Missouri | Tigers | Miami (OH) | Redhawks | RODENTIA SUBDIVISION | |||||
| Arkansas | Razorbacks | Northwestern | Wildcats | Oregon | Ducks | Minnesota | Golden Gophers | |||
| Ohio | Bobcats | Rice | Owls | Oregon State | Beavers | |||||
| URSIDAE SUBDIVISION | Penn State | Nittany Lions | South Carolina | Gamecocks | ||||||
| Baylor | Bears | Pittsburgh | Panthers | Southern Mississippi | Golden Eagles | INSECTA | ||||
| California | Golden Bears | Washington State | Cougars | Temple | Owls | Georgia Tech | Yellow Jackets | |||
| UCLA | Bruins | Virginia Tech | Hokies | |||||||
| HOMO SAIPIENS DIVISION | ||||||||||
| MARITIME SUBDIVISION | MILITARY SUBDIVISION | NEW WORLD SUBDIVISION | OLD WORLD SUBDIVISION | |||||||
| East Carolina | Pirates | Army | Black Knights | Central Michigan | Chippewa | Idaho | Vandals | |||
| Navy | Midshipman | Middle Tennessee State | Blue Raiders | Florida State | Seminoles | Michigan State | Spartans | |||
| Vanderbilt | Commodores | North Carolina | Tar Heels | Hawaii | Warriors | Notre Dame | Fighting Irish | |||
| Ole Miss | Rebels | Illinois | Illini | San Jose State | Spartans | |||||
| ENGINEERING SUBDIVISION | Rutgers | Scarlet Knights | Indiana | Hoosiers | Southern California | Trojans | ||||
| ? | Boilermakers | Tennessee | Volunteers | Iowa | Hawkeyes | Troy | Trojans | |||
| Toledo | Rockets | Texas Tech | Red Raiders | Louisiana Lafayette | Ragin' Cajuns | |||||
| UTEP | Miners | UCF | Golden Knights | San Diego State | Aztecs | |||||
| UNLV | Rebels | Utah | Utes | |||||||
| Virginia | Cavaliers | |||||||||
| West Virginia | Mountaineers | |||||||||
| CHROMO DIVISION | ||||||||||
| CHROMO SUBDIVISION | SUPERNATURAL SUBDIVISION | STORM / WATER SUBDIVISION | ||||||||
| North Texas | Mean Green | Arizona State | Sun Devils | Alabama | Crimson Tide | |||||
| Stanford | Cardinal | Duke | Blue Devils | Iowa State | Cyclones | |||||
| Syracuse | Orange | UAB | Blazers | Miami | Hurricanes | |||||
| Wake Forest | Demon Deacons | Tulane | Green Wave | |||||||
| Tulsa | Golden Hurricane | |||||||||
FanPosts are user-submitted, and thus NOT representative of EDSBS editorial or any of our opinions unless posted by us ourselves. Please refrain from posting blatant spam or self-promotion, because this makes us hate you. Thanks!
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Comments
you coming off your meds?
just kidding fucker THIS SHIT IS BRILLIANT
ITS LIKE OCD COLLEGE FOOTBALL
REC
People who live in glass houses should not hang out with Charles Barkley.
If the wide view is used GT is under Insecta.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 9, 2011 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Sorry, cut and past error on my part.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 9, 2011 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions
No need to apologize
with something this awesome and intensive, minor mistakes were inevitable.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
Yep.
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Slight correction: Stanford's mascot is the fucking Tree (nickname is the Cardinal), therefore it should go in the Plantae division
"Speak softly and wear a loud shirt" - Kimo's Rules
In fact, there are several subdivisions of the Fucking Tree itself.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 9, 2011 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Is that a summer cut?
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That thing is creepy.
I’d prefer an Updyke cut.
by softbatch on Aug 9, 2011 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Agreed.
If we are using mascots, Stanford, should be in the Agriculture subdivision. Mean Green should be in the Aves, and Syracuse should be in the - whatever subdivision a child-like hairy orange should be in.
They're Orangemen, not orange
So I’d go with wherever the Fighting Irish are.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
They're not Orangemen anymore. Haven't been for a few years now. They're just the Orange now.
I aim to misbehave
Well, shit.
I was really looking forward to that rival[EXPLOSION]
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions
My Syracuse senses are tingling
Someone is talking about our program
"Oh so if he's not Muslim he just gets a pass? That's called profiling mother and I don't do it!" - Sterling Mallory Archer
by Nick Petrilli on Aug 9, 2011 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions
/finishes beeer
//smashes beer over GoBlueYork’s head
///starts eating salt potatoes straight from THE GOD DAMN SALT CITY
"Oh so if he's not Muslim he just gets a pass? That's called profiling mother and I don't do it!" - Sterling Mallory Archer
by Nick Petrilli on Aug 9, 2011 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well we all know Michigan likes GERG
At least what I’m drinking tastes better than that. Not to mention, you hired him AFTER seeing him in the full spotlight for 4 years.Great idea.
"Oh so if he's not Muslim he just gets a pass? That's called profiling mother and I don't do it!" - Sterling Mallory Archer
by Nick Petrilli on Aug 9, 2011 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions
DARNIT NO SYRACUSE--MICHIGAN SQUARE
鳴かぬなら殺してしまえ、ほととぎす
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Aug 9, 2011 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions
With the way I'm going the past few days
If someone had a card with Syracuse-Anyone on all their squares they’d probably win.
"Oh so if he's not Muslim he just gets a pass? That's called profiling mother and I don't do it!" - Sterling Mallory Archer
by Nick Petrilli on Aug 9, 2011 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
I wish I had actual prizes to give out
/mails people jolly ranchers
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Replying to your signature
Wouldn’t game days then just be like West Virginia game days instead of fevered dreams?
(Come on someone must have the Syracuse-WVU square, that’s actually a legit rivalry)
"Oh so if he's not Muslim he just gets a pass? That's called profiling mother and I don't do it!" - Sterling Mallory Archer
by Nick Petrilli on Aug 9, 2011 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Also applicable to Michigan State during final four time
And no, no Syracuse-WVU. The rivalries on the cards will get mixed up each week I think
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions
We had a home and home series about 10 years ago
Adrian Karstens (RIP) fell in love with the plains
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Old enough that I remember the Saltine Warriors
followed by the move to Orangemen, followed by the silliest move to “the Orange”.
It's not a rivalry
if it’s one-sided.
/sigh
//sits in the dark in room with dashboard confessional playing
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 9, 2011 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Football, Basketball, and Lacrosse
Delicious.
"Oh so if he's not Muslim he just gets a pass? That's called profiling mother and I don't do it!" - Sterling Mallory Archer
by Nick Petrilli on Aug 9, 2011 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions
so many difficult distinctions...
NC – Tarheel or ram?
Miami – Hurricane or Ibis?
Bama – Tide or Elephant?
…so on and so fourth…
Hurricane is easy.
There’s minimum two other weather related ones (Tulsa and Iowa State).
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
They had Hurricane flags on their helmets not so very long ago.
Fuck Sebastian the Ibis.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Again, it depends on whether you want to catogorize by nickname, or mascot.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
He's sober(ish) finally!
When did you come to?
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
I recognize a kindred spirit
Was up into the wees the other night realigning my conferences in NCAA 12 high school style (i.e. by student body size.) Yadda, yadda, yadda Florida and Ohio State are now perennial rivals, while Auburn and ND slip from AQ status. Once again, my unmedicated world is better than the real thing.
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well, I have others."
Auburn has 24,000 students
What is the cutoff for AQ?
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 12:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Not so fast, my friend
I expanded my AQ conferences and allowed the same number of AQs (66) as in the real world. By that standard, Auburn is in…but barely (62nd among BCS-level schools.)
The good news is that their virtual conference is a tad easier than the SEC (i.e. Eastern Michigan, Wazzu, Middle Tennessee, etc.)
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well, I have others."
the question mark is a nice touch
Put the bull where your beer is.
by Illusions, Michael. on Aug 9, 2011 12:04 PM EDT reply actions
also, what kind of librarian are you?
I’m a student worker in my school’s archives. love it!
Put the bull where your beer is.
by Illusions, Michael. on Aug 9, 2011 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
I am currently employed by Stanford as a bilingual (native Spanish speaker) medical librarian.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 9, 2011 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions
What kind of library work do you do?
Archival? Digitization? Reference?
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Reference and Research.
I assist people with finding information to better their lives and those of their loved ones. I interact with people suffering Alzheimer’s, cancer, chronic diseases, well, everything.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 9, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Excelsior!
GF is in the library sciences program at Michigan right now. She’s trying to double up on specializations in archives and digitization stuff. She’s starting to get nervous about not being able to find a job when she’s done.
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Before this I was in archives for two years at North Texas. That is where I did my MSLS.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 9, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Whoa.
There are two of us here? Did EDSBS change from college football to jazz without me noticing?
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
Wait... do we have North Texas fans?
/readies trophy case
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 3:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Being a North Texas fan
Is like watching a movie about the Alamo. You root for the lovable underdog, but you know how it ends.
With the team killing Nick Saban while he sleeps with a prostitute.
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
Hey cool, I'm a student worker at my school's place.
Here now, actually.
by President Camacho on Aug 9, 2011 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions
are you archival as well?
Put the bull where your beer is.
by Illusions, Michael. on Aug 9, 2011 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions
OMG YOURE BACK
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Aug 9, 2011 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions
This is Awesome.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
And that's a rec
I never really grasped how goddamn many bulldogs, wildcats and tigers there are. Might as well be the Roughriders.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
Which is which?
One is RoughRiders and one is RoughRiders, bit I can never remember which is which.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions
When the Missou to SEC talk was going...
I learned between D1 and 1-AA teams, you could make a full conference and then some using just Tigers and Bulldogs.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
If Mizzou would have joined the SEC
That would have been the 3rd Tiger team in the West division (Auburn and LSU) alone, if they were put in that one.
¡Viva La Revolución!
Twitter : @ecuamerican // Media Blog: 42Screens
Hence why I said why not say screw it and go all out...
Memphis, Auburn, Mizzou, LSU, Princeton, Clemson—Tiger division
Georgia, Miss St, Fresno St, La Tech, Yale, Citadel-Bulldog Division
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
How about the Dog & Pony conference?
UConn, Fresno, UGA, LaTech, MissSt, Nevada, New Mexico, NCSt, Northern Illinois, Washington, BSU, SMU, and WMU.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
And if we are talking mascots instead of nicknames, add Tennessee.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
Tiger division
wins conference title every year. Duh
by never_go_full_dabo on Aug 9, 2011 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Who are we?
THE WILDCATS!
Who are we gonna beat?
THE WILDCATS!
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
by SpartanDan on Aug 9, 2011 10:01 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I think we're looking strong in the Canidae division
When does this reclassification take effect?
Way easier than SEC West/ Still tougher than SEC East.
Snake eyes cry
Boxcars sigh
Seven's stuck in the middle
Just wonderin' why.
by Sasquatch Love on Aug 9, 2011 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
very, very good point!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions
It's the "Fuck Clemson Tigers" and "? Boilermakers that truly make this brilliant.
Chairman of the Frivolous And Wasteful Committee On Avocado Peels (FAWCOAP).
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Aug 9, 2011 12:13 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm more partial to the Clemson Fuck Tigers
Why Does Schnelly coach at Florida Atlantic?
Because F.A.U.
by Kenny D on Aug 9, 2011 12:43 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
WOOOO CANIDAE DIVISION CHAMPIONS!!!
Also, if one assumes that “Alabama Crimson Tide” is a thinly-veiled reference to menses, should that be filed under the Homo Sapiens division or the Chromo division? (Or, on second thought, maybe the storm/water division is appropriate, after all.)
by vineyarddawg on Aug 9, 2011 12:18 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
It's own classification
Now we just need St. John’s to add a football team to have a division rival.
"I don't know; we haven't played Alabama yet." -Vince Lombardi
8====> - - - :)
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 12:18 PM EDT reply actions
Red Legs
Not good people
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 12:21 PM EDT up reply actions
And even if they are "birds"
the rest of the birds in that division are REAL, not FAKE.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
by jonfmorse on Aug 9, 2011 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
FAKE ASS BIRDS
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
ASS-BIRDS
"When I get the ball, I think about touchdowns; when I think about touchdowns, I think about money." - Onterrio McCalebb
by alexanderkotov on Aug 9, 2011 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm just going to leave this here
by jschooltiger on Aug 9, 2011 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Did you want one?
Did I send one to you?
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 3:44 PM EDT up reply actions
No, everyone laughed at me when I suggested this rivalry existed
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
hmph.
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Aug 9, 2011 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Fine, no bingo for you
We didn’t want you playing anyway.
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions
/checks card
DAMMIT
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
I'm assuming everyone has the same rivalries on there cards, just in different orders, right?
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
which one is the mascot?
I AM BECOME JC001, THE DESTROYER OF BOARDS
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Tweety
by Lt. Philip Nolan on Aug 9, 2011 12:22 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
hard to tell
neither one is eating a child
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Nope indeed the current format. We need to add a herpes sore division.
We can add arizona st and ucf too
Why Does Schnelly coach at Florida Atlantic?
Because F.A.U.
by Kenny D on Aug 9, 2011 12:51 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
We need
a feminine hygiene products division.
"When I get the ball, I think about touchdowns; when I think about touchdowns, I think about money." - Onterrio McCalebb
by alexanderkotov on Aug 9, 2011 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions
bovidae + suidae
should be the bbq division.
by BeerControl on Aug 9, 2011 12:22 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I see a lot of '99 Fiesta Bowl rematches
For the homo sapiens championship
Heel for school, Vol for life!
Bolts, Preds, Canes (childhood team, home state team, hometown team). Canes mini-STH. Southern hockey solidarity!
by Incipient_Senescence on Aug 9, 2011 12:23 PM EDT reply actions
congrats on the front page. ballin.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
Why is GT listed under the Felidae division?
Are nerds now considered feline? I guess Asthma and hairballs are pretty similar.
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
No Rodentia Subdivision
and not in Engineering Subdivision…HAHAHA Beavers are irrelevant
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."-Bill Hicks
Rodentia Subdivision
Golden Gophers and Beavers. It’s up there.
"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"
Weird. I must be missing some of the page
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."-Bill Hicks
by Linoleum Knife on Aug 9, 2011 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
In the top right corner of the page, beneath the site search bar, click "wide view"
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
MUSTELIDAE SUBDIVISION CHAMPIONS
See, even in this classification I get to hate Michigan and USC. The more things change the more thay stay the same.
I aim to misbehave
IDAHO.
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT OUR POTATOES ARE VASTLY AND OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR TO YOUR POTATOES.
COME AT ME BROS.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 9, 2011 12:34 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
THOU HAS MEALY AND BLIGHT RIDDEN POTATOES, YOU IRISH POORS
OUR IDAHO POTATOES ARE MAGESTIC, STARCHY AND DELICIOUS. WE ALSO HAVE A BOWL NAMED AFTER IT, SO YUNNO, GAME OVER, BRAH
by emc503 on Aug 9, 2011 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Careful, last time Catholics went head to head with Vandals it didn't work out so well for us Papists.
I aim to misbehave
by stempke on Aug 9, 2011 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
This might be the onliest time you could find this on a football message board
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Also...
NO MATTER WHERE YOU FUCKING GO, THE SPARTANS WILL BE RIGHT THERE TO TROLL YOUR ASSES. WOO OLD WORLD DIVISION RIVALRIES
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions
/plays "300" clip
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 9, 2011 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions
I see nothing wrong with this
/your move, it was not very effective!
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions
No Mich St. in the Military Div.?
Clearly U$C is already on probation, but a Spartan is a Spartan is a Spartan!
"Beating 'SC is not a matter of life or death, it's more important than that."
Red Sanders-Bruins head coach (1949-57)
by Trouble's A Bruin on Aug 9, 2011 12:36 PM EDT reply actions
As is Joe Pa, so PSU also goes
VENI PENN SCHTATE
"Beating 'SC is not a matter of life or death, it's more important than that."
Red Sanders-Bruins head coach (1949-57)
by Trouble's A Bruin on Aug 9, 2011 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions 18 recs
How is this not green?
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Or would it be ES?
My Latin’s rusty, but I can’t decide if the verb would agree with VICTOR or TU.
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Aug 9, 2011 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm pretty sure it would be "es"
Because you’re saying “A winner, you are”, and that would make the subject “you” instead of “winner”. Unless I’m mis-translating (and that’s a very real possibility).
Unless you’re going for a literal “A winner are you”, and then you would be correct.
Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes
As much as I hate including Missouri in any category which includes Kansas
As was mentioned above in regards to Kansas, Missouri’s mascot was also named after a militia group. The Tigers were a militia group created to protect Columbia from raiders. As such, despite the fact that a tiger is clearly a feline, Missouri should, I think, fall in the Homo Sapiens division.
you could argue that a jayhawk goes in the supernatural division
since it isnt a real fucking thing
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters" - Demetri Martin
"Eggs this guys overdone, then I hit the slope on them call it rise over run"- Chiddy
O I E M I Z Z O U
by pinkelposse on Aug 9, 2011 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The same would go for LSU
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
Now we're asking a bit much aren't we
You expect him to go back and research why each school chose it’s name?
I aim to misbehave
by stempke on Aug 9, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah that gets crazy real quick
I say use the generally understood meaning of the name, not the mascot. For example, everyone knows the Volunteers have a military connotation, but probably comparitively few know that LSU chose Fightin’ Tigers after a military group. Thus, Tigers with all the rest of the tigers, and Volunteers in the military category.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
It would also push Cavaliers into the Old World division
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
These are all valid points
First post, although I’ve been lurking for over a year. I agree that he couldn’t be expected to know the origins of all the different school’s mascot names.
The name "Volunteer" indicates non-military, ergo
Homosapiens you are, Tennessee!
Also, a Badger is a _______? Lest we give them “Hiiden Valley” as a division.
"Beating 'SC is not a matter of life or death, it's more important than that."
Red Sanders-Bruins head coach (1949-57)
by Trouble's A Bruin on Aug 9, 2011 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
*Hidden.
"Beating 'SC is not a matter of life or death, it's more important than that."
Red Sanders-Bruins head coach (1949-57)
by Trouble's A Bruin on Aug 9, 2011 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions
Actually...
The Volunteer nickname was derived from military background: Tennessee sent surprising amount of volunteers to War of 1812 and Mexican War.
Oh and General Robert Fucking Neyland.
¡Viva La Revolución!
Twitter : @ecuamerican // Media Blog: 42Screens
by ecuamerican on Aug 9, 2011 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
How can Ole Miss be in the Military Division?
When they should clearly be in the URSIDAE SUBDIVISION.
Well
he is Admiral Ackbar, is he not?
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 9, 2011 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
he loved his first visit to the Grove, too!
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GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I thought Yogi
was always after pick-a-nic baskets, not catered fucking platters and chaffing dishes?
Some people have a pet peeve. I have a peeve menagerie.
7 year old me
really missed that one. Who knew Hanna Barbera cartoons were so deep?
Some people have a pet peeve. I have a peeve menagerie.
ALL. THE. ABNER'S. CHICKEN. FINGERS.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
GOOD LORD
not really related, but GIS just gave me this gem:
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GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
That's....what is...
I don’t…
Rec.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
I don't know what context yours was made under
but I do know that I ’shopped a very similar picture a while ago for HATE WEEK at BSD…
by psuwxman on Aug 9, 2011 4:35 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
nice!
look closer at Hootin Dale & you can see the Mississippi flag on the shirt.
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GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions
LOVED the Volunteers under the Military Division
I was expecting to be under some miscellaneous outsider group. Excellent job!
¡Viva La Revolución!
Twitter : @ecuamerican // Media Blog: 42Screens
Chromo division looks pretty weak (hoping Stanford gets pushed into Plantae)
I think the Crimson could make a good run at that
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Aug 9, 2011 12:48 PM EDT reply actions
OU does not appreciate being in an aggy sandwich
plz to moov to homo-sapiens div. k thx bai.
Avoid the Noid.
THANK YOU
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Aug 9, 2011 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Indeed.
Land Thieves? Maybe. Wagon Burners? Maybe. Aggies?!? Well I never…
Avoid the Noid.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Aug 9, 2011 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions
But the mascot is the chicken, and not a mythical chicken like the Jayhawk.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
mmm. fried chicken.
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GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions
The Jayhawk is no chicken!
’Tis a fine and noble bird, sported by a school with much lavish history. A great school, Kansas is.
#TROLLGAZE@JONFMORSE
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions
/tommyleejonesnewspaper.gif
They’re also little brother, so /mdwm.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
/plays sandstorm
...I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself...
by Boozy McHound on Aug 9, 2011 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions
This is amazing
Also, I keep reading the STORM/WATER division as the STORMWATER division. I have not stopped giggling at first reading it like this and then seeing the Crimson Tide as the first entry.
/civil engineering humor’d
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:21 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Seems to me...
Sooners and Jayhawks should be moved to New World. Sooners got their name from settling the Oklahoma lands during the Land Run, but left “Sooner than they were supposed too”. Jayhawk is not an actual bird, but refers to “free-staters” who fought against "slave-staters – some in Kansas most in Missouri.
Sooners were claiming land for agriculture. They weren't a nation.
Jayhawkers are functionally equivalent to Volunteers. Only a bit more vigilante-leaning.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 9, 2011 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions
a "bit more"?
guess it depends on who you ask.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Aug 9, 2011 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Are we doing this on nicknames, or mascot?
Cause the mascot is a bird.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
True...
to a certain degree. But Oklahoma City became a city of 10,000 within hours of the land run. All of those people were not in agriculture. Banks, grocery stores and even a university sprang up very quickly. They were claiming land to be a part of a nation, and new world just means they were in North America. Wolverines should probably be here too.
The land run was almost 400 years after the discovery of the New World
By which point it wasn’t exactly the New World any more.
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Aug 9, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Easy road to the taxonomy NCG!
SMU and Western Michigan? Equidae division champs!
Play Rugby - No helmets, no pads. Just balls.
by bronconationeast on Aug 9, 2011 1:29 PM EDT reply actions
NO WAY MAN
ALEX CARDER > KELLEN MOORE
GO BRONCOS. ERM, THE WESTERN KIND.
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions
This is obviously a clever plot
to create a conference in which Washington can realistically have a chance of finishing in the upper division.
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
by benzduck on Aug 9, 2011 1:29 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
WOOOOOO SENIORMOST RANK NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL
or
“I say, we certainly seem to have the best of those ruffians and enlisted men. The championship pennant will look smashing at the regatta.”
/sippin on some Pimm’s Cup
/Pimmin’ ain’t easy
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
'Cuse-Duke Chromo Division Championship
/hoopyball or lacrosse, anyway…
the greg paulus cup?
If you win all your fights, you're pickin em
by imhugeinjapan on Aug 9, 2011 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions
The Plantae Division Trophy will look as such.
"Hey Paul, re..remember when you were in The Beatles? That was awesome."
Phrynosomatidae Subdivision
TCU Horned Frogs
/learned a new word
//it’s OK, we got left out of the Big XII, too, and that turned out fine
Macropodidae Trophy
"Hey Paul, re..remember when you were in The Beatles? That was awesome."
by Five-Tool Tool on Aug 9, 2011 1:59 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I demand that Auburn
be simultaneously added to the of the Animalia-Aves and Homo Sapiens-New World divisions.
WarTigerPlainsmenEagleTreeRollers!
WOO!
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GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
PICK A FUCKING NICKNAME
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Haha, was that the last time the two schools played?
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions
/checks bingo card
//shit
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GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 9, 2011 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions
C'mon people! Where is the Minn/Wisc hate?
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
Sadly, the one sided ness of the rivalry has taken some steam out of it.
Hopefully, and I can’t believe I’m writing this, Kill will bring respectability back to the Goophs and it’ll go back to being a rivalry instead of a “You’re supposed to beat Minnesota, good for you”
/trollgaze at Iowa.
I aim to misbehave
I don't understand how this an issue reserved only for us.
There are 2 other teams in our division who are mascotly confused as well.
Crimson-elephant-tide
Rebel-alien-bears
you can go east and find:
community service people-dogs
70s funk band – stodgy old white man in sailors hat
rooster -phalluses
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Aug 9, 2011 3:23 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Let's Go Wacavhooliers!
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
wacavhooliernightmarebeasts
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
PICK A FUCKING NICKNAME
I think you should go with nightmare beasts
"The open threads on game days are like fevered dreams: Everyone is hammered and then shit gets burned." - Truffle Shuffle
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Aug 9, 2011 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions
wacavhoosabreliers!
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
Should be in a Fantasy division..
they could even keep the 2010 Nat’l Championship with them…
/cause-its-not-real
//cause-they-cheated
///you-know-paid-newton
////Paaawwwlll?
by crimsonbarrister on Aug 9, 2011 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
The Felidae Super Conference will rule all
I propose the Mizzou-Clemson rivalry be named the Another Fine Meth rivalry. 8-Ball of course is banned from the premises during this game.
so, free duke tickets for me. interesting.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Where's tha Gators?
Brantley Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Jon... John is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live Gator, he will literally rip your face off.
[to the Brantley] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out here, Brantley!
REPTILIA SUBDIVISION
with maryland and tcu
not all showing up…had to click print in order to see everything…
Wide view is your friend.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
ASU Correction
Arkansas State should be moved to Canidae, because they are the Red Wolves and not the Red Hawks (Unless they changed their name to avoid offending any Red Wolves in the area).
To eliminate a one team subdivision....
May I suggest moving Georgia Tech to Homo Sapiens/Engineering?
We are another dual name school, referred to as Ramblin Wrecks and as Yellow Jackets, and for this classification using Ramblin Wreck makes more sense.
- We sing “I’m a Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech and a helluva engineer” (not “I’m a Yellow Jacket”)
- The team follows the Ramblin Wreck onto the field
- Yellow Jackets originally referred to the coats worn by the fans (school colors, not the insect as mascot)
- Roughly 60 percent of our alumni are engineers
go back to the 1920's and GT was called the Engineers and the Blacksmiths
or you can just call us the Golden Tornado and we’re in the supernaturals
Better to have died a small boy than to drop this football - John Heisman FromTheRumbleSeat
by Winfield Featherston on Aug 9, 2011 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Damn
Watching Tulane lose to Alabama by about 300 every year would probably get me to start a petition to change their nickname, and I love the Green Wave.
WVU (or Wf'nV, if you will)
should be in the New World Subdivision, not military.
Awesome list otherwise, man.
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by TheMattROb on Aug 9, 2011 11:24 PM EDT reply actions
So many FELIDAE
but only one lion.
Bloggin' at JoePasDoghouse.com
by J.Schnauzer on Aug 10, 2011 10:53 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I wonder how long USF and Colorado can put up with
Texas demanding the ability to air Bovidae Subdivision games on the Longhorn Network, along with showing Future Farmers of America meetings involving potential recruits.
Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
Big Ten: Badgers, Wolverines, Golden Gophers, Spartans, Nittany Lions, Boilermakers
What about these Big Ten Mascots for your well done classification system? Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, Michigan State, Penn State and Perdue, respective to subject line.. If you can classify Hoosiers (Indiana), when most people wonder what a Hoosier is, these others should be simple based on the classification you have going.
Big 10 Mascots - More
Forgot to mention Nebraska is now part of the “Big 10” – Cornhuskers. Here’s a pic of some of the mascots to help with classification efforts! :)
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