Ivan, only you can do it. You have the gravitas and the juice. You must go on a hunger strike until ESPN fires the senile and rambling Beano Cook from its flagship college football podcast. Ivan, I am addicted to college football podcasts like a crack ho is to the scent of burned sofas but I simply cannot take it anymore. Beano's constant talking over you, his senile ramblings about Notre Dame...how you have made it without killing him and disposing of the body with battery acid is beyond me. Your very career is on the line Ivan. This man is on the verge of ruining it for you. There is lots of competition...the Solid Verbal is picking up its game. Even Finebaum and Shane look like avatars if logic compared to Beano.
Am thinking a Samuari sword and a sepukku instruction manual or a luger and a biography of Rommel are the right approach.