FanPost

U of A Rant, name your rival's town, and where to watch in Tucson

First, thank God football season is finally here! A couple of weeks ago, an Arizona State partisan in our commentariat had a wonderful dig on my current abode (Tucson), calling U of A the East Ajo Vocational Institute. Although I think the West Willcox Wildcat Whorehouse Warehouse does it one better, it got me to thinking, what's everyone's (literate) putdown name for their rivals' hometown? Best answer gets one shiny nickel. For UVa and Charlottesville, "town for those thrown out of Lynchburg for dancing" is an acceptable response.

Now, a rant about U of A. I can get a ticket to their first game for less than five bucks, and even Oregon tickets are less than $40. HOW CAN YOU CARE ABOUT FOUR SPORTS MORE THAN FOOTBALL?
1) Bounceyhoops
2) Girls' stickball
3) Boys' stickball
4) WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING GOLF IN A DESERT? WE HAVE TO BRING WATER FROM THE BLOODY COLORADO RIVER SO YOU CAN HAVE GRASS THAT YOU JUST TEAR UP WITH CLUBS AND CLEATS! WE'RE ESSENTIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A 500-MILE WIDE SAND TRAP!
There. That's better.

Finally, for those of you living here, is there a place (besides the poker rooms) that's open at 9AM on Saturdays where I can watch the East Coast games? Preferably on the near north side?

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