GUEST COMMENTARY: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF GEORGIA'S NEW UNIFORMS?

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UGA will be wearing an inverted color scheme on their uniforms for their opener against Boise State, wearing their sliver pants on their head and their red helmets on their asses in a drunken flip of conventional uniform wisdom. Since we are so hopelessly biased as to make ruthless fun of Georgia's uniforms no matter how good or bad they may actually be, we invited a panel of experts in to judge, appraise, critique, and otherwise give a proper estimate of their value.

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"Lookin' great, guys! We like the part where you used all the red! Every Megazord we ever used was a real person on loan from the Nevada State Prison system, and was told if they beat us in a fight they would earn their freedom! LOL THEY ALL DIED."

 

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"The design on the far right is precisely what I and every other European homosexual man of style imagines what an American football player to look like. This football player picks up a truncheon made of Algerian goat hair and brutalizes my assistant VardaOne12.com within an inch of his life for my pleasure while I breathe pure sodium hexafluoride from an antique Turkish oxygen tank. Thus are fashion and pleasure advanced simultaneously."

 

 

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If there's a wheel in heaven

Then red's the color of hell's eyes

Girl in a satin dress

Her freedom is her slavery


I can do this all day

Because my lyrics mean nothing

And come from a random glory generator

I sometimes loan out to The Killers and Coldplay.


Chorus:

It's quite LUCRAAAAAAAATIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

 

[drops man in SpiderMan costume forty feet to unpadded floor]

[loses $30 million]

 

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH---

 

 

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No words. Simply fabulous, Georgia. I shall continue toying with your planet a bit longer...before annihilation. 

 

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GET THAT TECHNICOLOR MEXICAN LEAGUE LUCHADORE LINEBACKER SHIT OFF MY EYES. THERE IS NO BACKUP PLAN DO YOU HEAR ME?


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