The Harshness: Blake Ayles' Bogus Adventure


Blake Ayles was a five star recruit corralled by USC in 2008, where his potential was limited by minor injury and major Lane Kiffin. While the NCAA's lowered boom closed the door on USC's bowl hopes it opened a window for its upperclassmen; the ability to transfer without losing a year of eligibility. Ayles saw an opportunity to escape the sanctions, and fled to…MIAMI.  As you will see, however, what the young man lacks in sense of timing he more than makes up for in chill.


Dude, just, just…dude. I mean, seriously, dude?

Coming out of the OC, SC was, like, a no-brainer. Babes, beaches and bee-cee-ess crystals, right? Plus, Coach Pete, you know? Dude surfs. Dude surfs, bro. Charlie Weis don't surf, man. Case closed. Game over. Win forever.

So, things, you know, didn't start out so awesome. Pulled a strainy on the knee two years in a row, which totally sucked. Coach Pete, though, he was cool and everything. He was all like, "Blakester, chill, bro. You just gotta, you know, find your wave is all." And I was all like, he was right, you know? Coach Pete caught his wave, and, I'm like, you can't hate on that. Seattle's not my thing, bro, but who am I to question another dude's wave, you know?

Yeah, I knew about the whole Bush thing when I committed, but I was like, whatevs. That was forever ago, you know? Does this affect Blake-Blake? Not at all, bro. Not. At. All. Plus, Coach Kiffs was all like, "Blay-Ay, chill, bro. Garret's got this, you know?" So, yeah, he soooo didn't, and then I was like, maybe it's time for Blay-Blay to find his own wave, you know? So, BOOM, da U, right? The babes, beaches and you just know a national championship, right? Just like SC, but with none of the skeezy sleezy is what I'm saying. His Blakeness was off to Miami, and he was bringing a suitcase of awesome, right? No doubt!

So, yeah, bad call. Seriously bad call, right? This whole Shapiro thing, you know? I don't even, bro. I just don't even. Still, nothing's gonna crash this dude's wave. It's like Coach Al says, "the past is the past, Senor Aylesandro," and, yo, I soooo agree. I mean, yeah, sure, there'll be some harsh penalties and all, but I mean, it's not like, you know, you can spank the son for the sins of the padre, right? Right? Right?

Anyways, the Blakenator picked his wave, and he's gonna ride it until it crests and crashes, you know? My bro Seantrel is on board too, man. Come riptide or undertow, we're Canes for life, dude. Unless, you know, the NCAA gives me another, outie, you know? I hear Orlando's a chill town, bro.

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