CRAIG JAMES SINGS!

I’ve heard rumors that James’ starting signing as an experimental therapy to curb his desire to kill all hookers in the Dallas area.

1. Rick
2. Etta
3. Jim
4. Hetfield
…
Infintely low: Craig

1. Fingers on blackboard
2. Squeaking styrofoam
3. Craig James
4. Ministry
5. Kniles’ screams
6.

includes a cover of Tool’s “Hooker with a Penis”

to everyone except the families/friends of the five dead hookers. This will be a painful reminder of the hurt inflicted by the pony expre$$.

I got a case of the Fifth Disease, and I got it bad.

When I hear Eric’s Camaro roaring / I hang my head and cry

The Ohio Players’ – Love Rollercoaster screaming murdered woman was really in one of Craig’s songs?

seriously there is sooo much here my brain can’t even comprehend.

/paging freek for the obligatory music video with James’s face from that photo pasted into every frame

Be careful exploring the true nature of the universe, Orson/Spencer. It seems to me that translating the Necronomicon might be a more health-conscious choice.

Paging Robert Ford. Robert Ford to the white courtesy phone please.

Craig’s living on the campaign trail
Lubbock’s quiet and the Senate seat’s sold
So the story ends we’re told
The Pirate needs your prayers it’s true,
But save a few for Craig James too
He just did what he had to do,
Now the hookers are growing cold

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
      And it shows them pearly white
      Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
      And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.
 
      Ya know when that shark bites, with his teeth, babe
      Scarlet billows start to spread
      Fancy gloves, though, wears old MacHeath, babe
      So there’s nevah, nevah a trace of red.
 
      Now on the sidewalk … uuh, huh … whoo … sunny mornin’ … uuh, huh
      Lies a body just oozin’ life … eeek!
      And someone’s sneakin’ ‘round the corner
      Could that someone be Mack the Knife?
 
      A-there’s a tugboat … huh, huh, huh … down by the river don’tcha know
      Where a cement bag’s just a’droopin’ on down
      Oh, that cement is just, it’s there for the weight, dear
      Five’ll get ya ten old Macky’s back in town.
 
      Now, d’ja hear ‘bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe
      After drawin’ out all his hard-earned cash
      And now MacHeath spends just like a sailor
      Could it be our boy’s done somethin’ rash?
 

      Now … Jenny Diver … ho, ho … yeah … Sukey Tawdry
      Ooh … Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
      Oh, the line forms on the right, babe
      Now that Macky’s back in town.
 
      Aah … I said Jenny Diver … whoa … Sukey Tawdry
      Look out to Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
      Yes, that line forms on the right, babe
      Now that Macky’s back in town …

      Look out … old Macky is back!!

I was thirsty with some bloodlust and my chalice was dry
Those pony boys were standing idly by,
Watching Craig James kill those hookers (times five)

/unreleased don maclean single..

Boosters bought my meals
I stopped those five hookers from livin’

Leach don’t need to fight
I’ll prove that I’m “right”
I hope my crimes will be forgiven. No no no no no no.

……….heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Adam James pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

They knew the rules, don’t fuck that guy,
Quintuple homicide’s what he’s thinking of
Tonight five hookers are really gonna die

He just wants to tell you how he’s feelin’
Got to make you understand

He’s gonna tie you up, he’s gonna tie you down,
Goes without saying he’s gonna hurt you
Doesn’t matter if you cry, you don’t get to say goodbye
He’s gonna dump your corpse and desert you

We’ve known each other for one hour
You feel funny but you’re too shy to say it
But only Craig James knows what’s going on
He spiked your drink and you went and drank it

Aaand if you try to call the police,
It won’t do you any good you know cuz

He’s gonna tie you up, he’s gonna tie you down,
Goes without saying he’s gonna hurt you
Doesn’t matter if you cry, you don’t get to say goodbye
He’s gonna dump your corpse and desert you

GOOD! Cause I thought you’d say NO!

In the suitcase on the left
You’ll find my favorite axe.

Don’t look so frightened
This is just a passing phase,
One of my bad games.

Would you like to talk on T.V.?
Or get into the shed?
Or contemplate the Dallas freeway?
Would you like something to eat?

Would you like to learn to fly?
Would’ya?
Would you like to see me try?

I got a little light headed while reading this

I am an analyst on the teevee
and I drive the fans nuts
Searching for my son to find a new program
I can hear him singing in the closet
I can hear him though he whines
and the hookers in the basement
are rotting in lalalalalala-la-lime

I know I need to be the Senative
but I don’t have the support
and if the voters elect my mouth
the country’s down the drain
and I need fame more than want brains
and I my mind can’t stand the strain
and the hookers in the basement
are rotting in lalalalalala-la-lime

Sleep all day, out all night
I know where you’re going
I don’t that’s acting right
Gettin’ paid for blowin’.

Archin’ up, grindin’ down
Don’t misunderstand me
You don’t think that I know your plan
Givin’ me a handy.

Out all night, sleep all day
I know what you’re doing
I’m gonna have to kill you babe
To make sure there’s no more screwin’.

I say…
Yeah buddy
Rolling like a big shot
Chevy tuned up, gonna make a hooker pit stop
Fresh kill job (check)
Fresh insides (check)
Are their bodies gonna fit in the trunk wide (yes)
Is the knife big (what)
Did she die good (good)
Lean back, smile big, back to SMU

Killed on the inside cleaned on the outside
Killed on the inside cleaned on the outside
Killed on the inside cleaned on the outside
Craig James Kill Job

AUDIO

WELL I’MMA KILL YOU CHILE
LORD I’MMA KILL YOU CHILE

WELL THE NIGHT I WAS BORN
LORD I SWEAR I DONE KILLED A HOOKER DEAD
THE NIGHT I WAS BORN
I SWEAR THAT I DONE KILLED A HOOKER DEAD

WELL, THAT POOR HOOKER CRYIN’ OUT,
"LORD THE MADAME WAS RIGHT"
AND I MOVED HER OUT BEHIND THE SHED
HAVE MERCY

WELL, MUSTANG COACHES FOUND ME THERE WAITIN’
AND PUT ME ON AS RUNNING BACK
WELL, MUSTANG COACHES FOUND ME THERE
AND RAN ME IN THE SINGLE WING

THEY TOOK ME PAST THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE CITY
AND WHEN THEY BROUGHT ME BACK
THEY GAVE ME MONEY AND BLING

HEY!
AND HE SAID “CHEAT ON”
CHEAT ON BECAUSE I’MMA KILL YOU CHILE, BABY
KILL YOU CHILE, HEY

YEAH!

WELL I’LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU
AND LORD KNOWS YOU WON’T BE PAID
I SAID I MAKE LOVE TO YOU IN YOUR SLEEP
AND LORD KNOWS YOU WON’T BE PAID, HAVE MERCY

BECAUSE YOU’LL BE UNDERGROUND TODAY
AND AT THE SAME TIME
I’M RIGHT HERE ON YOUR TV SCREEN

Daddy killed Hookers in the woods they say,
Back in his younger days. Prostitution was the talk
But the rich folk walked through the woods
Where my Daddy stayed.

Juggly boobs and shiners, these old hags here they ain’t
whiners. They come from the SMU’ers
It didn’t take hole in the ground
To put thier asses in the air.

Scrap like a wildcat fights to the end
Trap a wild girl and take her skin
Deal from the bottom, put the ace in the hole
One hand on the jugs but you never do know.

Son come running you better come quick
This tainted honeyhole is making me sick.
Your Mama called the school, and they’re gonna, take Leech away
Down so far even five, Hookers won’t stay.

Down in the valley, at SMU
That’s where I buried, hookers one and two
Hear the wind blow love, hear the wind blow
The smell of their rotting—gone when the wind blows.

If you don’t love me, love whom you please
Come a bit closer, I’ll show number three
This here’s number three love, this here’s number three
I killed her with ease love, I killed her with ease.

Write me an email, but don’t tell my wife
I’ll show you the bodies of whores four and five.
Whores four and five love, dead in their graves
They were so hopeless, had to hook for their grades.

Come to my castle, forty feet high
You’re my sixth hooker, now don’t you cry
Now don’t you cry six, now don’t you cry
You’re my sixth hooker, and you just have to die.