AUGUST WHIMSY: THE FUTURE OF SPORT IS WHATEVER THIS IS
We have the superflu, you might have heard, and are whiling away our days of guest room quarantine by determining the future of sport, to tide us over until FutureSport becomes reality. And though we had never heard of "low impact rebound sport shoes" until we saw this unspeakably jaunty video, we think we've found the future ... today:
"You can use them indoors, or outdoors on paved roads, dirt paths, grass, sidewalks, at the beach or even on snow." All right, those last two are sort of hard to believe, but the ingredients for a new American Pastime are here: Ladies! Bouncing! One thickbro graciously allowed to participate and equally graciously kinda hidden at the back of the formation so you can't really tell he's not all that flexible! All that's missing is the addition of deadly weapons that would make Kangoo Fight the world's most formidable contact sport. We're envisioning a five-event competition, like rhythmic gymnastics, featuring bullwhips, morningstars, flaming torches, a tire run, and single combat on a giant trampoline. The undisputed champion is the last bro or chickbro standing with both ACLs intact.
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Did someone say kangaroo?
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by BamaThrasher on Aug 11, 2011 1:25 PM EDT reply actions 8 recs
My comment
was supposed to include few years old joke about alligator/crocodile on the media guide but I posted too soon and just came across as snarky instead
by ItsComplicated on Aug 11, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions
wallabies will fuck you up
I AM BECOME JC001, THE DESTROYER OF BOARDS
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Tweety
by Lt. Philip Nolan on Aug 11, 2011 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
I know
but he just looks so very, very sad, and any excuse to post it…
I mean, who cares that it’s a flimsy pretext to post it?…

by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 11, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Kangaroos are dicks.
Inanity @gothlaw
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." -Sir Francis Bacon
by Stuck in the Plains on Aug 11, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions
It totally does.
For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo
by LoneStarHoosier on Aug 11, 2011 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions
why?!?!?
dear jeebus, why?
I’ll grovel, as I do.
It was as if thousands of ACLs suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
Of course, all those ACLs are only alleged to exist.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 11, 2011 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
My Mom's Jane Fonda aerobics video from 1987
wants to sue for copyright infringement over some of those moves.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
by allicolls on Aug 11, 2011 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
mine is Saturday
And I can only assume you are talking about Reka?
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Aug 11, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
IE has the same haircut as Reka, a little redder
LOVE IT
鳴かぬなら殺してしまえ、ほととぎす
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Aug 11, 2011 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions
ACLs intact?
Someone get Danny Hope and Robbie Hummel on the phone with these folks STAT!
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Aug 11, 2011 1:40 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I am envisioning the Purdue football team doing this routine.
I am giggling.
For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo
by LoneStarHoosier on Aug 11, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Was anybody else disconcerted by how the video and "Billie Jean" both seem to have been
sped up just a little bit? It was a little disorienting, kind of like what I would imagine having one’s drink accidentally spiked with LSD would be like. Not a lot of LSD, just a little bit. Just enough to make reality a little wonky.
For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo
by LoneStarHoosier on Aug 11, 2011 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
it don't take much
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Aug 11, 2011 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions
or me.....

I am.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 11, 2011 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
as a soldier, i must drink your blue water, live in your red clay, and eat your green skin…
"watermelons all around, manbabies, and that's an order." FEARLESS AUTHOR LEADER, THE
by thetennesseethumper on Aug 11, 2011 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions
It had a tubby bald man
Named Loli. This is as close as I’ll ever get to watching Scheiße porn.
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
by Run Home Jack on Aug 11, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Chicks Bouncing?
Keep them in tight pants and questionably supportive sports bras and I’ll watch that.
by Cock D on Aug 11, 2011 1:52 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Longhorn Network is intrigued
and think this might be useful for their target demographic.
Will work for football.
by purwho on Aug 11, 2011 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Put this on Big 10 Network with old Games, I'll never change the channel (in the offseason)
though, would rather they use SEC girls for the bouncing.
by Cock D on Aug 11, 2011 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Didn't Comedy Central's "The Man Show"
always end with “girls jumping on trampolines”? Any attempt by the LHN is clearly plagiarism.
Some people have a pet peeve. I have a peeve menagerie.
by DrBundy on Aug 11, 2011 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
My first thought while watching the video....
The SFW video cover:

The Not-Quite-So SFW video cover behind the link.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 11, 2011 5:29 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Sex rehab for 5 hookers and their bald pimp
That’s what that is.
My boss wants to buy my baby
by wreck17 on Aug 11, 2011 1:53 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Well, I hope it's also a witness protection program
and that they are well far away from Dallas.
鳴かぬなら殺してしまえ、ほととぎす
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Aug 11, 2011 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions
FLIMSY PRETEXT

Why yes, commentariat, I AM bored at work today? How ever did you suss that out?
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 11, 2011 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Ah, My GIFs are not showing up.
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 11, 2011 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions
GRRR.
Okay, well, here’s the better of the two:

by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 11, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
looks like something straight out of the Shining
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
IMMAHANGUPANLISSEN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 11, 2011 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Damn Hungarians!
"I know, I know we are the chosen people, but once in a while can't you choose someone else?!" Tevye
This would be great for cheerleaders....
Who are really short…. I’d like to run the 40 in them to see what’s up. Imagine the fight scenes from “Roadhouse” with all actors wearing those things…complete with steel blade attached to the toe.
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 11, 2011 2:06 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
think what Jackie Chan could do with those…
Are team is gone. We should just take the L.A stadium. And start over cause it seems like u gave are team away…
by Amsterdam Admirals on Aug 11, 2011 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions
This kinda makes me miss my moon shoes.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
There is an orange-tan man on CNBC with gel-spiked hair
While I’m certainly he makes far more money than I do, he still looks ridikalous.
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Aug 11, 2011 2:11 PM EDT reply actions
Overheard at Kangoo's HQ
“Hey Bobby, we just got a huge order for a R. Neuheisel at Spaulding Field. Wants to know if we ship overnight to LA.”
"Beating 'SC is not a matter of life or death, it's more important than that."
Red Sanders-Bruins head coach (1949-57)
by Trouble's A Bruin on Aug 11, 2011 2:14 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
makes me wonder how long it'll be until Chuck Norris somehow endorses this product
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
IMMAHANGUPANLISSEN
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 11, 2011 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Chuck Norris rejects your proposal.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Aug 11, 2011 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
New favorite gif?
New favorite gif.
Keg: Black Rye Saison - ~6.5% ABV
Keg: Indian Brown Ale - ~6.5% ABV
Bourbon Barrel Aging: Imperial Porter - ~10% ABV
On Deck: Apalachicola Bay Oyster Stout
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Aug 11, 2011 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions
I remember those from The Amazing Race.
And “Billie Jean” isn’t a “increase the tempo and go faster” song.
by Narrow Right on Aug 11, 2011 2:22 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
brilliant choreography
I like the part where they really showed what they have by doing the exact same move – only MORE of it.
I TOTALLY saw a woman using this going past (wait for it)
the NATIONAL ZOO in DC this past weekend. How appropriate, in hindsight.
/inb4coolstorybro
Hungary, interesting nation we are
We give you Teller Ede, or this shit!
"I know, I know we are the chosen people, but once in a while can't you choose someone else?!" Tevye
it kind of scares me...
that some of you noticed the song was sped up.
The time for calm and rational discourse is past, now is the time for senseless bickering -Anonymous the Younger
by Anon_the_younger on Aug 11, 2011 3:48 PM EDT reply actions
Good news for superflu sufferers
Apparently the greatest medical discovery in history only gets reported on nerd blogs…
New Drug Can Treat Almost Any Viral Infection
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well, I have others."

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