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Around SBN: How The Kings Beat The Coyotes: Lather, Rinse, Repeat

AUGUST WHIMSY: THE FUTURE OF SPORT IS WHATEVER THIS IS

We have the superflu, you might have heard, and are whiling away our days of guest room quarantine by determining the future of sport, to tide us over until FutureSport becomes reality. And though we had never heard of "low impact rebound sport shoes" until we saw this unspeakably jaunty video, we think we've found the future ... today:

"You can use them indoors, or outdoors on paved roads, dirt paths, grass, sidewalks, at the beach or even on snow." All right, those last two are sort of hard to believe, but the ingredients for a new American Pastime are here: Ladies! Bouncing! One thickbro graciously allowed to participate and equally graciously kinda hidden at the back of the formation so you can't really tell he's not all that flexible! All that's missing is the addition of deadly weapons that would make Kangoo Fight the world's most formidable contact sport. We're envisioning a five-event competition, like rhythmic gymnastics, featuring bullwhips, morningstars, flaming torches, a tire run, and single combat on a giant trampoline. The undisputed champion is the last bro or chickbro standing with both ACLs intact.

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And a very sad wallaby at that

And we were singing, hymns and arias...

by gth863x on Aug 11, 2011 1:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

My comment

was supposed to include few years old joke about alligator/crocodile on the media guide but I posted too soon and just came across as snarky instead

by ItsComplicated on Aug 11, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know

but he just looks so very, very sad, and any excuse to post it…

I mean, who cares that it’s a flimsy pretext to post it?…

by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 11, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Kangaroos are dicks.

Inanity @gothlaw

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." -Sir Francis Bacon

by Stuck in the Plains on Aug 11, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

why?!?!?

dear jeebus, why?

I’ll grovel, as I do.

by dirt sandwich on Aug 11, 2011 1:30 PM EDT reply actions  

My Mom's Jane Fonda aerobics video from 1987

wants to sue for copyright infringement over some of those moves.

Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Aug 11, 2011 1:31 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

mine is Saturday

And I can only assume you are talking about Reka?

I’ll grovel, as I do.

by dirt sandwich on Aug 11, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

IE has the same haircut as Reka, a little redder

LOVE IT

鳴かぬなら殺してしまえ、ほととぎす
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition

by Kelly's Gyros on Aug 11, 2011 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

ACLs intact?

Someone get Danny Hope and Robbie Hummel on the phone with these folks STAT!

A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance

HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog

by BoilerTMill on Aug 11, 2011 1:40 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

I am envisioning the Purdue football team doing this routine.

I am giggling.

For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo

by LoneStarHoosier on Aug 11, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Does that mean we're not having Bo-Taoshi League??

And I’ve therefore been practicing my pole-sittin’ for nothing?

Hamburgers.

GET YOUR ASS TO MARS

by Run Home Jack on Aug 11, 2011 1:42 PM EDT reply actions  

Was anybody else disconcerted by how the video and "Billie Jean" both seem to have been

sped up just a little bit? It was a little disorienting, kind of like what I would imagine having one’s drink accidentally spiked with LSD would be like. Not a lot of LSD, just a little bit. Just enough to make reality a little wonky.

For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo

by LoneStarHoosier on Aug 11, 2011 1:47 PM EDT reply actions  

or me.....

I am.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 11, 2011 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

as a soldier, i must drink your blue water, live in your red clay, and eat your green skin…

"watermelons all around, manbabies, and that's an order." FEARLESS AUTHOR LEADER, THE

by thetennesseethumper on Aug 11, 2011 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

It had a tubby bald man

Named Loli. This is as close as I’ll ever get to watching Scheiße porn.

GET YOUR ASS TO MARS

by Run Home Jack on Aug 11, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Chicks Bouncing?

Keep them in tight pants and questionably supportive sports bras and I’ll watch that.

by Cock D on Aug 11, 2011 1:52 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Longhorn Network is intrigued

and think this might be useful for their target demographic.

Will work for football.

by purwho on Aug 11, 2011 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Didn't Comedy Central's "The Man Show"

always end with “girls jumping on trampolines”? Any attempt by the LHN is clearly plagiarism.

Some people have a pet peeve. I have a peeve menagerie.

by DrBundy on Aug 11, 2011 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

My first thought while watching the video....

The SFW video cover:

The Not-Quite-So SFW video cover behind the link.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 11, 2011 5:29 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Sex rehab for 5 hookers and their bald pimp

That’s what that is.

My boss wants to buy my baby

by wreck17 on Aug 11, 2011 1:53 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Well, I hope it's also a witness protection program

and that they are well far away from Dallas.

鳴かぬなら殺してしまえ、ほととぎす
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition

by Kelly's Gyros on Aug 11, 2011 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

FLIMSY PRETEXT

Why yes, commentariat, I AM bored at work today? How ever did you suss that out?

by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 11, 2011 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

rec'd

for being favorite internet picture

Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano

by AParker on Aug 11, 2011 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

Damn Hungarians!

"I know, I know we are the chosen people, but once in a while can't you choose someone else?!" Tevye

by 8gooner8 on Aug 11, 2011 1:59 PM EDT reply actions  

This would be great for cheerleaders....

Who are really short…. I’d like to run the 40 in them to see what’s up. Imagine the fight scenes from “Roadhouse” with all actors wearing those things…complete with steel blade attached to the toe.

I am a parody of myself.

by mrpelicanpants on Aug 11, 2011 2:06 PM EDT via mobile reply actions  

think what Jackie Chan could do with those…

Are team is gone. We should just take the L.A stadium. And start over cause it seems like u gave are team away…

by Amsterdam Admirals on Aug 11, 2011 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

This kinda makes me miss my moon shoes.

Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Aug 11, 2011 2:07 PM EDT reply actions  

Overheard at Kangoo's HQ

“Hey Bobby, we just got a huge order for a R. Neuheisel at Spaulding Field. Wants to know if we ship overnight to LA.”

"Beating 'SC is not a matter of life or death, it's more important than that."
Red Sanders-Bruins head coach (1949-57)

by Trouble's A Bruin on Aug 11, 2011 2:14 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

New favorite gif?

New favorite gif.

Keg: Black Rye Saison - ~6.5% ABV
Keg: Indian Brown Ale - ~6.5% ABV
Bourbon Barrel Aging: Imperial Porter - ~10% ABV
On Deck: Apalachicola Bay Oyster Stout

by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Aug 11, 2011 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

I remember those from The Amazing Race.

And “Billie Jean” isn’t a “increase the tempo and go faster” song.

by Narrow Right on Aug 11, 2011 2:22 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

brilliant choreography

I like the part where they really showed what they have by doing the exact same move – only MORE of it.

by vegas_buckeye on Aug 11, 2011 2:32 PM EDT reply actions  

I TOTALLY saw a woman using this going past (wait for it)

the NATIONAL ZOO in DC this past weekend. How appropriate, in hindsight.

/inb4coolstorybro

by psuwxman on Aug 11, 2011 3:13 PM EDT reply actions  

Hungary, interesting nation we are

We give you Teller Ede, or this shit!

"I know, I know we are the chosen people, but once in a while can't you choose someone else?!" Tevye

by 8gooner8 on Aug 11, 2011 3:37 PM EDT reply actions  

it kind of scares me...

that some of you noticed the song was sped up.

The time for calm and rational discourse is past, now is the time for senseless bickering -Anonymous the Younger

by Anon_the_younger on Aug 11, 2011 3:48 PM EDT reply actions  

Good news for superflu sufferers

Apparently the greatest medical discovery in history only gets reported on nerd blogs…

New Drug Can Treat Almost Any Viral Infection

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well, I have others."

by Jack Fact on Aug 11, 2011 4:00 PM EDT reply actions  

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