HEISMAN PROMOTIONAL MAILERS 2011
by Spencer Hall on Jul 26, 2011 12:52 PM EDT
Email
PrintRobert Griffin the 3rd is both a legitimate Heisman contender for 2011 and a gentleman so classy you must, by contract, include the "3rd" when discussing him on any occasion. You never know. You might say, "Robert Griffin had a great game," and someone will say, "Oh, did you mean my cat Robert Griffin, Jr," and you'd say "No, I mean Robert Griffin the 3rd, not your cat," and then you'd have a nice laugh because your friend had a cat named Robert Griffin, Jr, and because you'd made friends with a real live insane person.
Baylor is stumping for Griffin, and sending out these cards in the mail to prospective Heisman voters.
(Via.) It's not bad, but we would question the wisdom of automatically planting the notion of Griffin placing third in Heisman voters heads. "Oh, they're not that dumb or pliant," you say. We point you in the direction of the long list of Heisman winners throughout history, and then ask you to reconsider your statement HAHAHA GINO TORETTA.
On that note, we decided to offer up our own suggestions for Heisman mailers for possible 2011 quarterback candidates. Feel free to download the images and use them yourselves, interested schools. We offer this artwork for free, and consider it a public service.
OREGON: DARRON THOMAS IS FACTUAL
TULSA: G.J. KINNE IS THE HIPSTER'S PICK FOR HEISMAN
TEXAS: LET'S REBRAND GARRETT GILBERT WITH SOME LEVITY
WEST VIRGINIA: GENO SMITH HAS NUMBERS ON HIS SIDE.
OHIO STATE: JOE BAUSERMAN IS A SAFE, TRUSTWORTHY VOTE FOR OLDER VOTERS.
FLORIDA: HE'S LIKE THE LIONEL MESSI OF ALACHUA COUNTY, BUT FOR FOOTBALL FOOTBALL.
OKLAHOMA: LANDRY JONES EXPLODES WITH EXCELLENCE.
BOISE STATE: EMBRACING KELLEN MOORE'S CRIPPLING DISABILITY AS A PLUS
USC: EMPHASIZE MATT BARKLEY'S BRAVERY AND COMMITMENT TO DEFENDING USC'S QB LEGACY
TYLER BRAY: EMBRACE PERSONALITY QUIRKS
LSU: GET HISTORICAL!
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Comments
Gino Toretta
Wasn’t he Vin Diesel’s character in the FandF movies?
by AubEng on Jul 26, 2011 12:56 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
PUT YOUR HAND DOWN JOEY BASEBALL
YOU FAILED OUT OF THE PIRATES’ MINOR LEAGUE SYSTEM
YOU ARE NOT A FOOTBALL PLAYER, LET ALONE A HEISMAN CANDIDATE
I feel that this is obligatory
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
by AParker on Jul 26, 2011 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions 14 recs
Aaron Murray
“What backfield issues?”
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Jul 26, 2011 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Don't worry...
that shirt will be into double digits by the time football season rolls around…
/Too soon?
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Jul 26, 2011 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
It'd be easier just to update that shirt rather than replace it.
My years in marching band have made me an authority on football.
Oh, and I have a Twitter.
by MagnaCarterGT on Jul 26, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions 12 recs
Shouldn't Murray's say something like
“Fill His Swagger Purse with the Heisman Trophy”?
No one going to comment on the man-purse he's wearing?
Chairman of the Frivolous And Wasteful Committee On Avocado Peels (FAWCOAP).
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jul 26, 2011 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions
And now I see the joke someone made further down. Nice.
Chairman of the Frivolous And Wasteful Committee On Avocado Peels (FAWCOAP).
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jul 26, 2011 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Can't take credit
Fearless Leader coined the phrase “Swagger Purse” a while ago when posting this.
Revisionism at its finest
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
by Run Home Jack on Jul 26, 2011 1:05 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
Niether did this boneheaded decision to fall on the football when trailing
by I-Right Fullback Dive on Jul 26, 2011 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
What sport do you watch?
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
And just so I can poke the resident Bammers in the eye too
Remember that cold day in 2002 when Ronnie Brown, Carnell Williams, and the third string RB was hurt, as well as our starting FB, Brandon Johnson?
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
Tre Smith
what a guy.
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Jul 26, 2011 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions
If you feel like posting even more big pictures... that'd be cool, too.
/eyeroll
Will work for football.
by purwho on Jul 26, 2011 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Why did you post a big picture of a blurry crowd?
My years in marching band have made me an authority on football.
Oh, and I have a Twitter.
by MagnaCarterGT on Jul 26, 2011 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions
It's like a dog whistle.
purwho will get it, but everyone else will miss it entirely.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions
The word "Purdue"...
on what looks like a flat chested woman…
And nobody made the obvious joke? NOBODY?
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Jul 26, 2011 2:05 PM EDT up reply actions
That's because it's SO obvious
to make the joke would invite scorn and ridicule.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
Ugh. FINE. I'll take the hit...
It’s nice that that cheerleader is onboard with the Purdue Denial Project, with her associating “Purdue” with an absence where something SHOULD be…
/waits for the scorn…
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Jul 26, 2011 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions
Sorry.
I was too mesmerized by the DRUM OF CONSIDERABLE SIZE.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions
IT'S HUGE.
DO YOU HAVE ONE? NO.
Will work for football.
by purwho on Jul 26, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Do you have a Touchdown Jesus?
NO.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
by jonfmorse on Jul 26, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
...why would anyone want one of THOSE?
Das Twitter, just like Das Boot. Only with fewer Germans. And no boat.
Because they get struck by lightning and burn down and it's AWESOME.
Oh wait, you were talking about the one at notre dame.
by broski on Jul 26, 2011 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm pretty excited that professional football will be back soon, too.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Devidee?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Jul 26, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions
I assume the Barners keep posting pictoral reminders of these games because none of them remember how to write.
by Erik T on Jul 26, 2011 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Erik T has been possessed y'all!
"Smooth like butter" - my friend Big Joe
by cowcollege on Jul 26, 2011 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Funny coming from a guy with a 5 letter username.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to write Scrotologist?
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I thought that was why he fell on it.
The announcers were explaining something like he wasn’t allowed to advance the ball for some reason.
Do you guys even know the rules in the B1G?
He fell on it because he was poorly coached and didn’t understand the situation.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Don'chew be tryin to slow
my troll roll.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions
All I remember hearing
was the nonsense about making sure you cover the ball because trying to pick it up and run is dangerous. I don’t remember hearing anything about being unable to advance.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
It's not nonsense, it's first day special teams practice fundamentals
If you try to scoop and score, you leave yourself open to fumbling the ball and letting the offense recover and get a first down. He was on the 16 yard line going in and surrounded by teammates, so he probably should have had the presence of mind to realize that risk was almost nonexistent, but you’ll be hard pressed to find a coach that says covering up the ball there is nonsense. It might not have been the best decision, but it was not a wrong decision.
I aim to misbehave
by stempke on Jul 26, 2011 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wrong decision in the moment
Right decision 90% of the time.
Special Teams coach gets paid to know that and coach that. Otherwise, they can hire me for a fraction of the cost with the same outcome.
by I-Right Fullback Dive on Jul 26, 2011 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
No, it was not "wrong in the moment."
His team featured a Heisman contender at QB, a 1000 yard rusher, and an “offensive genius” for a head coach. He gave that high powered offense the ball inside the 20 with a minute left. It’s only because the offense failed to score that we’re having this conversation. I guarantee you he got congratulatory hugs and high fives when he got to the sidelines. He made a play, it wasn’t the game winning play, but he did his job. The 11 guys on offense didn’t do theirs. It’s that simple.
I aim to misbehave
by stempke on Jul 26, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I clearly remember
that we were having this very conversation, right here, before Arkansas failed to score.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
There's a difference between saying "he should have scooped and scored" which he should have
and saying “he didn’t scoop and score because he’s poorly coached” which what’s happening now.
I aim to misbehave
I don't know as I'd call it "poor" coaching.
I agree that you have to drill it into these kids’ heads that they need to secure the ball first and foremost. I just think it’s not excellent coaching when you fail to also drill home the concept of being aware of your surroundings and the situation, is all. Make more sense?
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
by jonfmorse on Jul 26, 2011 3:00 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I agree with this.
And can’t say it any better.
by I-Right Fullback Dive on Jul 26, 2011 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions
I think we can agree on that
This all started with this line, however
He fell on it because he was poorly coached and didn’t understand the situation.
I aim to misbehave
That's why I referred to it as "nonsense".
Part of coaching is letting your players know when the “rules” don’t apply, and that was one of the clearest examples I’ve ever seen.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
See my response above.
This was not a “rules don’t apply” moment. There was plenty of time to score.
I aim to misbehave
You can if you are on the team that blocked it.
If you are the kicking team and it is blocked, you can only advance it if you were the last one to touch the ball. I think.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jul 26, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Correct, sort of
If a blocked kick crosses the line of scrimmage, the offense cannot advance the ball unless the defense recovers it and later fumbles. The defense can always advance the ball, which is what makes the play so boneheaded from an Arkansas perspective. Although, they still had the ball on 16 yard line and over a minute left. Arkansas still should have been able to score and win that game.
I aim to misbehave
by stempke on Jul 26, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Muff
You can’t advanced a muffed punt in college. Blocked punts behind the LOS are fair game for either team to advance.
by TorchRamrod on Jul 26, 2011 3:34 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Uh, yeah, you can.
He fell on it because he was an idiot.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Or at least not fully aware of the situation.
Trying to pick it up and failing does no harm there, as it wouldn’t have been a change of possession and thus OSU would have still had to get across the line to gain. Only if he picks it up, establishes control, and then fumbles is there any risk.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
What is this? I dont even...
Childs didn’t play in the Sugar Bowl due to a season ending injury.
That’s Adams.
Is there a joke here that I have completely missed? Is this like those misattributed quotes?
NEVER FORGET.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:07 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Because there's nothing more fearsome and masculine
than The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.
by lhb98 on Jul 26, 2011 1:35 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
A horny toad pissing and farting GAWDAMN ELECTRICITY
is pretty fucking scary. (not to mention, it bleeds from it’s eyes)
by Cocky Scar on Jul 26, 2011 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I actually saw a billboard the other that was even more Princely
The “Purple Reign” tagline was done in the same splatter-font as the album cover.
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Jul 26, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions
I heard they put one up that is visible from SMU.
by Truffle Shuffle on Jul 26, 2011 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions
not just visible
its like its staring right at the stadium. Such an act by a rival of any other university might face retribution but the ponies will likely just turn their heads towards their faternity houses and continue with their “boulevarding” as planned.
“boulevarding” is their word for tailgating.
All of this is somehow the fault of Craig James.
by Wes Tex on Jul 26, 2011 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
One of the student's dads will just pay to have another billboard built right in front of it to block it.
Then he’ll snort another line.
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Jul 26, 2011 4:27 PM EDT up reply actions
SMU HATE: It's What Brings Texans Together.
by Truffle Shuffle on Jul 26, 2011 4:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
SMU HOOKERS: It's What Attracts Craig James
I AM THE REAL JC001
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on Jul 26, 2011 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
SMU HOOKERS: They're Too Pricey For Everyone Else
by Truffle Shuffle on Jul 26, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions
SMU HOOKERS: They're Too Pricey For Everyone Else
And that’s why Craig James must purify them.
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Jul 26, 2011 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions
DEAD SMU HOOKERS: Because They're Too Pricey To Bring Them To Lubbock Alive
by Truffle Shuffle on Jul 26, 2011 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions
SHIT
DEAD SMU HOOKERS: Because It’s Too Pricey To Bring Them To Lubbock Alive
by Truffle Shuffle on Jul 26, 2011 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Dude scores more than M.J. did
Damned if I know how.
We're all on the Hindenberg. No reason to fight over a window seat.
Jake Heaps 4 Heisman
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Jul 26, 2011 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions 8 recs
Can't wait until this guy gets his own planet
in the afterlife.
by jagvocate on Jul 26, 2011 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Logan Thomas for Heisman
Shake hands with Fist bump ACKNOWLEDGE potential greatness GREATNESS two years from now THIS YEAR
/buys season-long supply of aspirin
Purdue's Robert Marve for Heisman
One ACL, One heisman
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Jul 26, 2011 1:09 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
I dunno... here's my vote.
Will work for football.
by purwho on Jul 26, 2011 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
And now, the winner of the 2011 Heisman Trophy...Dayne Crist!
/trips on stairs going up to podium
//trophy falls on face
///launches trophy into balcony seats
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
What you did there.
I se—
/concussed
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions
sometimes you just give up
I'm not going to a country that confuses itself with poultry. Never.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jul 26, 2011 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 18 recs
Rec'd
not happy about it, but rec’d
Dawg fan by birth,
no longer in Beaumont by the grace of God.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jul 26, 2011 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions
wait,
that’s not a dick joke or a funy gif?
Are you expanding your repertoire into photoshop?
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions
F no
way above my pay-grade. But I can work Picnik.com pretty well.
I'm not going to a country that confuses itself with poultry. Never.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jul 26, 2011 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Watching Pac-12 media day
Andrew Luck looks like Wolfman.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
by skywaker9 on Jul 26, 2011 1:19 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
>
"When a woman says "nothing's wrong," that means everything is wrong. And when a woman says "everything's wrong" that means EVERYthing is wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off." H. Simpson
by Sasquatch Love on Jul 26, 2011 1:20 PM EDT reply actions 10 recs
Yes. We can say TITLES PLEASE
Haven't you heard? There's a battle of words, and most of them are lies.
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jul 26, 2011 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions
and SQUEEEEEEEEE
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Will Stein can stay on my screen ALL DAY LONG.
So yes SQUEEEEEEE
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Jul 26, 2011 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Les for Heisman: He wasn't eligible to be the moderator at SEC Media days either, but do you think that stopped him?
"When a woman says "nothing's wrong," that means everything is wrong. And when a woman says "everything's wrong" that means EVERYthing is wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off." H. Simpson
by Sasquatch Love on Jul 26, 2011 1:23 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
Taffy 4 Heisman.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
Or possibly Bukkit 4 Heisman
"When a woman says "nothing's wrong," that means everything is wrong. And when a woman says "everything's wrong" that means EVERYthing is wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off." H. Simpson
by Sasquatch Love on Jul 26, 2011 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
No one's taking Les Miles' bucket.
Live to fly!
Go Gators!
Also, Craig James allegedly murdered 5 hookers while at SMU.
QBForce 4 Heisman
Heisman from which school?
Uh, we’re still working on that.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
by blanx73 on Jul 26, 2011 1:27 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
It's an individual award, so we can iron out those details later.
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Jul 26, 2011 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions
If Cammy Cam has taught us anything
it’s that you don’t need a school to win the Heisman.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:47 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Hey now
he was in school for a semester. spring ’10
Take me to France and watch me dance,
Let me drink that wine,
Spinning around a dark haired girl,
Having us a good ol' time. - Ryan Bingham
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Jul 26, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
So chin up, Purdue QBs!
"Smooth like butter" - my friend Big Joe
by cowcollege on Jul 26, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
/hand slips on bar
//Purdue QB breaks chin
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jul 26, 2011 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
/compound fracture of throwing thumb while ordering UGG BOOT $50
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Jul 26, 2011 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
///somehow still beats OSU
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Jul 26, 2011 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions
/Joey Elliott twirling in delight
//Kerrigan just sacked Pryor again
Will work for football.
by purwho on Jul 26, 2011 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
I'm pretty sure he can get into Arkansas.
And he won’t even hurt Ryan Mallett’s feelings now.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
No one has a scantron for QBForce.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -HST
Maybe we can get him back for another season.
"Smooth like butter" - my friend Big Joe
by cowcollege on Jul 26, 2011 1:27 PM EDT reply actions 30 recs
I cannot rec this enough.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Jul 26, 2011 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Mangus getting arrested won't stop this grassroots campaign!
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
by Run Home Jack on Jul 26, 2011 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 16 recs
Every day is Mustache Wednesday
Reporter: "What would it take to get you to spend three or four days outside in a tent, on concrete?"
Joe Paterno: "Depends what she looks like."
by Cornbadger on Jul 26, 2011 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 7 recs
He looks ready to duel with a stiletto blade while wearing ruffled taffeta.
by HawkeyeRecon on Jul 26, 2011 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
/NDNation joke goes here
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Jul 26, 2011 1:54 PM EDT up reply actions
as a catholic from the midwest I am legally and morally obligated to defend Notre Dame
but fuck ND nation with a rusty clemson.
by dudebrabroman on Jul 26, 2011 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions
All right guys, let's get serious for a minute here.
#RELF4HEISMAN
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:34 PM EDT reply actions
"RALPH"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Jul 26, 2011 1:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Do you mean Ralph Relfton?
"When a woman says "nothing's wrong," that means everything is wrong. And when a woman says "everything's wrong" that means EVERYthing is wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off." H. Simpson
by Sasquatch Love on Jul 26, 2011 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
"I'm going to have to get an apartment here, in Starksville. I've been here 4 straight Saturdays!"
/kicks hole in wall
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Jul 26, 2011 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I miss the Daves from JP or Lincoln or WTF network
/eats golden flakes
Snake eyes cry
Box cars sigh
Seven's stuck in the middle
Just wonderin' why.
by Sasquatch Love on Jul 27, 2011 8:30 AM EDT up reply actions
Don't up and try to Snead my team bro!
Lest you’ll end up Craig James’d!
by Black Prairie Bullpuppies on Jul 26, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Covered in the blood
of 5 hookers at SMU?
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 26, 2011 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yais. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
If so, we will devise a more fitting ’ ‘d’.
by Black Prairie Bullpuppies on Jul 26, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Cracky for Mascot Heisman.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on Jul 26, 2011 1:37 PM EDT reply actions 9 recs
Always deserving of a rec...
Funny story: went down to St Georges with the wifey’s family, and I mentioned how freaky looking the Clemson mascot was. Wifey’s aunt (who’s an alum of said university) literally freaked the fuck out and threatened to beat me with her shoe if I ‘slandered [her] beloved mascot’ anymore.
I am so not even going to guess why she reacted that way. [shudder]
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Churchill
by SolidStateMind on Jul 26, 2011 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Stockholm Syndrome.
/grandfather was a male cheerleader @ Clemson
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
This explains so, so much.
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Jul 26, 2011 3:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Care to share the new impression?
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Publicly? nah, I'm good.
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Jul 26, 2011 3:16 PM EDT up reply actions
you haz emale capabilities.
bonus points if you can make me laugh. life hasn’t been to kind the last few days.
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 3:19 PM EDT up reply actions
e-male?
hmmm….
Before sex, you help each other get naked;
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story is:
In life, no one helps you once you're fucked
by Chloe Denmark on Jul 26, 2011 3:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Obviously coked out of her mind.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Jul 26, 2011 2:58 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
How did Larry Fitzgerald not win the Heisman?
Oh, even the local Pittsburgh writer voted for that hick QB from OU.
COACHED BY THAT GUY WHO COACHED FAVRE THAT ONE TIME
And don’t forget titles on your pics.
"Disco?" He shakes his head. "What a dark time for our country."
by Burrito Electrico on Jul 26, 2011 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Correction
Coached by the guy that turned Favre from a rocket armed TD machine into a fucking punchline. It’s not a coincidence that the coaches before and after Sherman were able to rein Favre in and make deep playoff runs with him.
I aim to misbehave
by stempke on Jul 26, 2011 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
and a lady friend who has signed on to ride it forever
so is it still a pornstache when he’s engaged?
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions
a masterpiece awaits...
I AM THE REAL JC001
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on Jul 26, 2011 2:22 PM EDT reply actions
HERE YOU ARE SIR!
I AM THE REAL JC001
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on Jul 26, 2011 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions 47 recs
I laughed. I cried.
I rec’d.
All the sweetest winds they blow across the south. Oh, my sweet Carolina, what compels me to go? Oh, my sweet disposition, may you one day carry me home.
"Without spirits the men cannot support the fatigues of a long campaign" - Maj. Gen. Nathanael Greene
by TheDutchWonder on Jul 26, 2011 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions
and it he becomes Clemsons coach, he'd be 'Attabo'
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jul 26, 2011 3:48 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG
"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.
It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0
"From the Director of the Armpunt"
Well Done Sir
by I-Right Fullback Dive on Jul 27, 2011 1:58 AM EDT up reply actions
Oh, that crafty Bill Snyder.
He says he’s not happy to be playing Texas every year, and that he doesn’t have Mack’s number.
/snicker
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
I'm trying to start a RONP4UCONN movement at The Uconn Blog
I argued that the Prince’s reign at KSU was undermined by the populace’s preference of a despotic emperor and that is why they returned Snyder to power. They’d rather have PAUL P than RON P…….fools.
by Truffle Shuffle on Jul 26, 2011 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Make it stop.
"Choosing Penn State over Stanford, my god!!" - rumple
by ReadingRambler on Jul 26, 2011 2:47 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
You forgot about Nebraska's favorite ginger:
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
MARTINEZ
MAKE UP FOR YOUR TEAM’S LACK OF OFFENSIVE IDENTITY BY JUST RUNNING ALL OVER THE GODDAMN PLACE.
by MacularDegenerate on Jul 26, 2011 5:04 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Updated promotional for Martinez now with more motivation.
Supporting the Kenji Jackson Approach for every day situations.
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Jul 26, 2011 5:29 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Blasphemy! You can not utter TJ in the same breath as LSU.
Plain and simple. Of course, I got confused at first . . .I first thought “what in the world could Thomas Jefferson have to do with LSU” . . . then, I saw “Jordan” alone at the top and thought “but Michael Jordan played basketball” followed by “what does UNC have to do with Thomas Jefferson”. Then, I thought a little longer and "gee, I hope there isn’t an implication about Sally Hemmings in there . . . "
CTOB
-------
But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782
by McDammit on Jul 26, 2011 5:32 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
BACK OFF HOKIE!
Thomas Jefferson is ours!
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
Just because he was the architect and founder of "Mr. Jefferson's University"
does not make him any less a Virginian. After all, but the time he founded UVa (1819) he had already been Governor of Virginia, United States Secretary of State, Vice President of the United States and President of the United States. Arguably, his contribution to the founding of our nation outweighs designing a few buildings . . . .
CTOB
-------
But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782
by McDammit on Jul 26, 2011 6:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
So, you're saying we should forgive him, then.
My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.
by jonfmorse on Jul 26, 2011 6:16 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
'twas a joke
"UVa is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something." ElRocco337
so 'twas mine
unfortunately sarcasm and facetiousness do not lend themselves well to this media . . .
A true Virginian believes . . .1. that the world was created in 1607; 2. that the “capital” is Richmond, Washington DC is just a blight on the other side of the Potomac; 3. that the holy trinity is Lee, Stewart and Jackson; and 4. that Mr. Jefferson is the authority on all things politic
CTOB
-------
But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782
by McDammit on Jul 26, 2011 6:31 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
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