GENE CHIZIK JUMPS OVER THE LAZY BROWN DOG

And now, a complete transcript of Gene Chizik's complete remarks at SEC Media Days.*


On the discussion between him and Jule Roe Lach at NCAA Media Days:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer dapibus posuere tincidunt. Praesent ut lectus non est dapibus semper et a felis. Morbi mattis dui eu urna aliquet vehicula sed sed mauris. Proin sit amet eros vitae est scelerisque cursus eu nec turpis.

On Danny Sheridan's claim that the NCAA has ID'd the bag man in the Cam Newton case:

Vestibulum auctor velit vel neque molestie a egestas mauris dapibus. Nam nec libero ut massa sagittis pulvinar at in sem. Phasellus odio tellus, sodales placerat fringilla vitae, viverra sit amet lorem. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

And finally, on the issue of Auburn's recruiting in the shadow of an ongoing NCAA investigation:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nunc non mauris ipsum, sit amet fermentum nisi. Fusce ut eros eu metus luctus ultrices. Suspendisse potenti. Mauris leo sem, consequat pellentesque tempus sit amet, interdum vel ligula. Curabitur quis lacinia ligula. Nulla fffacilisi.

*You and I and Pat Dye, currently fishing for moles off his deck while sipping a Bloody and listening to Ronnie Milsap's "Smoky Mountain Rain," know that Gene Chizik said next to nothing in his SEC Media Days session, and that his comments are best replaced with dummy Latin text. He was asked about Danny Sheridan's claims that the NCAA had ID'd the bag man in the Cam Newton case, and he reiterated the NCAA's statement that Auburn did nothing wrong. He said the same thing to every other query involving the NCAA and Auburn.

He also used the phrase "I sleep good when my head hits the pillow," making him the SEC's king of #SLEEPBRAGGING. If his boasting about his luxurious and comfortable slumber strikes you as strange, keep in mind that the only way Chizik and Auburn could escape this level of scrutiny at this point IF they were cheating is if the school was paying recruits in a dream within a dream.

You're now seeing Trooper Taylor waving his towel as he runs down a rotating hotel corridor while fighting an NCAA investigator, aren't you? And Harvey Updyke kicking a sleeping Chizik's chair into a bathtub full of Spike 80 DF? You are? Good. In conclusion: War BRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHM Eagle.

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