JAWGA BOYZ PLACE UGA ATOP THE SEC'S ONLINE REDNECK QUOTIENT RANKINGS

It is sport among SEC fans to point out which team's fanbase is the most redneck, and while this may seem like zebras arguing over each other's "stripey-ness" to outsiders, it is very, very important to the tribes making up the conference's vast empire. Some of these rankings vary over time, while some do not. The more permanent ones: 

Ole Miss: League leaders in proudly ignorant preppiedom.

Kentucky basketball: Most persistently and openly racist.

Alabama: First in closely shorn goatees.

Auburn: Greatest differential between size of truck purchased and 'actual truck required for life-tasks.' IT manager for a Lilburn shipping company? F-1050 comin' atcha, bitches.

Arkansas: Everyone's sort of too terrified to ask what they're good at.

LSU: Taxidermy and cooking, sometimes at the same time.

Mississippi State: Leaders in fescue-related pornography.

South Carolina: National Frontrunners In Fresh Artisinal Asphalt.

Vanderbilt: Most mid-level clinically depressed regional bankers.

Tennessee: Fanbase most likely to have wrecked a boat on a submerged automobile. Twice.

Florida: Fanbase most likely to have wrecked a boat on a submerged automobile for the insurance money.

Where does Georgia fit into that, you ask? Well, anywhere they want after this.


There's terror everywhere in this video: the Cash Money Redneck tat with the deer hunter logo, the shocker tat on the side of the head, the butt-tarded synth riff, the very police-looking lights on the one truck leading you to think these gentlemen might be impersonating police officers, the riding of pigs and random shooting of shotguns. The only thing letting us know that these men are not genuinely terrifying are their dogs, who are gentle, asthmatic, and doomed purebred bulldogs. Everyone knows the methy rednecks who pull you over on a rural road and turn you into person jerky use pit bulls with docked ears armored fight vests. (This is also describes exactly what Clemson coaches have been using on the recruiting trail, which is the only possible explanation behind Dabo Swinney enjoying recruiting success.)

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