THE CURIOUS INDEX, 6/23/2011

The EDSBS.com URL is not working for some reason today, but the full name still works fine. We're efforting a solution to this.

BOULDERPORN. it does feel a bit like a promo video you'd be trapped into watching on a cheap airline (waddup Spirit!) but it's a start on the Boulderporn recruiting strategy Colorado should embrace in recruiting.

Now, if they could just get some black people in there, we'd have ourselves a stew, Buffs. (HT: Jason Kirk.)

WANTED: FOOTBALL PLAYERS. Will Muschamp will be a bit short-handed because we don't have many football players, and that is precisely what you want to hear going into a football season what with guaranteed injury, smashiness, and violence on the horizon. Perhaps we can ask Northern Alabama for a few extras? Just loaners, man. We'll have 'em back in time for next fall. Don't be a dick about this, Terry. You owe us for your one moment of glory in 1994.


BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP KEEPING UP WITH ALL OF THEM. Our favorite Ohio State scandal? We're partial to Golf-gate, if only to imagine the conversations between Terrelle Pryor and the businessmen on the course.

Businessman: So, you gettin' it?

Pryor: Yeah, man.

Businessman: Really gettin' it? Like you know--[makes disgusting, spastic sex miming]

Pryor: Not like that, no. [Drives to next hole in one of 17 cars] 

If you're having trouble keeping track of them all, well, there are helpful cheat sheets for you to use. Ohio State's bigwigs met yesterday for undisclosed reasons, but we'll assume it was to look at pictures of an oiled-up Urban Meyer in a swimsuit for a few hours of group appreciation.

CAM NEWTON'S MAGICAL BAG OF CRAPPY BALLOONS. We enjoy GQ's ability to take anyone and make them look like a learning-disabled preppie. What's in this fall? Highwater pants, sweaters, more sweaters, scarves, Under Armour, and lugging around random bags of balls you pretend are the world's shittiest balloons.

BRADY HOKE WILL NOT HESITATE TO DROP THE K-WORD IN NEGATIVE RECRUITING. We hope this is true for so many reasons: the huffy appalled grumbling about this not being conduct appropriate for a Michigan Man, a renewed savagery between Michigan and Ohio State on the recruiting trail, and the trend of using Lane Kiffin's name as the worst thing you can say about a recruiter.

He's telling these guys that OSU will get hit harder than USC and they "shouldn't fall for the same (stuff) Lane Kiffen sold all those SC recruits."

To Kiffin is a verb now, yes? As in "to Kiffinate?", or to recruit someone under misleading or otherwise dodgy circumstances? We'll need a ruling from the OED, because to hell with that weakass Webster's shit.

HUGS FOR WISCONSIN. Let's just have a big group him, y'all.

LOOKIN' SEXY, MIKE SLIVE. We kid. Slive's not that tall, and everyone knows he doesn't have the legs to pull off that outfit.

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