DANA HOLGORSEN STARS IN CRANK 7
by Spencer Hall on Jun 14, 2011 5:25 PM EDT
Email
PrintDana Holgorsen spent the first week on the job as West Virginia head coach visiting with the pillars of the program, healing wounds inflicted during the tumultuous Stewart/Holgorsen consul period, and proving himself HAHAHAH WE'RE KIDDING HE GRIPPED AND RIPPED IT BY GOING WHITE WATER RAFTING AND SKYDIVING.
/guitar noise
/starwipe
Prior to the jump, Holgorsen was asked what he did to prepare for his leap. His response? "Nothing," he said. "Signed a waiver."
He would have focused more on the ground, but he had to concentrate on fighting the Beijing Cocktail in his veins all while calling his old girlfriend midd-fall in a fit of wistful regret.* The audio's nonexistent on the landing, but if you enhance the video you can read Holgorsen's lips as he says "I call that landing 'The Bill Stewart offense.'" The NCAA is going to investigate this for exceeding the limits of known coaching penile magnitude, and the conclusions will be clear and decisive. GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS. This chain of Holgorsen jokes could go on forever, but all we need for the moment is 2011 and the prospect of Dana Holgorsen being shot into Milan Puskar Stadium in a Zorb filled with brown liquor and Red Bull for the LSU game. (Or surfing in on a flaming couch wearing bloody bear hide. We'll take either one.)
(Via.)
*Like Holgo the Barbarian has regrets.
126 comments
|
1 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Who will play the lead role in the epic Dana Holgorsen biopic?
Here’s my vote:
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 5:33 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
UH OH HE DEAD
not a spoiler, really. He’s meat the minute he shows up on a screen
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Jun 14, 2011 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Major Sharpe objects
by PalmettoTiger on Jun 14, 2011 7:52 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
Rec'd for a GREAT BBC series
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Agreed.
Plus the only thing he’s been in where he lives until the next movie.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions
He made it through Troy as well
It’s a shame that Troy sucked so bad, because I would have liked to see his portrayal of Odysseus get a full movie.
I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole
There is talk of an Odysseus movie...
…but from what I hear it will have Brad Pitt and be set in space.
/will not watch
Kill, Bubba, Kill!
Wat?
that just sounds terrible.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
by Chloe Denmark on Jun 15, 2011 9:14 AM EDT up reply actions
It's been in "pre-production" since 2008.
I’m betting it never sees the screen. Studios give “development deals” to big stars’ vanity projects all the time to get them to make the movies that will actually make money.
I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole
This has B movie awesome written all over it
Just replace Brad Pitt with the guy from Evil Dead
You've got a body like a battle axe.
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 9:51 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Yeah! That's his name. Couldn't remember it.
You've got a body like a battle axe.
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 9:53 AM EDT up reply actions
How 'bout
Remaking Barbarella with Mila Kunis instead?
"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.
by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 10:04 AM EDT up reply actions
If you choose Mila, am I allowed to choose her male counterparts?
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
by Chloe Denmark on Jun 15, 2011 10:13 AM EDT up reply actions
Yes
Subject to peer review and approval.
"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.
by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions
A challanger appears...
"All you need is bacon and a dream."
by jc001 on Jun 14, 2011 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions 8 recs
PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET
by BamaThrasher on Jun 14, 2011 6:05 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
i'd fuck me
"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."
by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Guy on our HS team did the Buffalo Bill dance at a party once.
Complete with the tuck. He went on to play OL at a div. II school. Pretty disturbing, to say the least. It was one of those record-scratch, music-stopping scenes.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 6:44 PM EDT up reply actions
Would you fuck Clemson?
I’d fuck Clemson. I’d fuck Clemson so hard.
Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.
by Cali Dawg on Jun 14, 2011 6:56 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Vaya con dios, Bodhi
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
by Run Home Jack on Jun 14, 2011 6:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
HEY BILL!
"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."
by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
"You like Huey Lewis and the News?
Their early work was a little New Wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in ’83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically."
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:27 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
But Holgo Bean Stark
would go long on 3rd and 1 while simultaneously bitch-slapping Joffrey and high-fiving the imp.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:15 AM EDT up reply actions
"filled with brown liquor and Red Bull for the LSU game"
Isn’t that mandatory accompaniment for entry into a WFVU/LSU game?
Dawg fan by birth,
no longer in Beaumont by the grace of God.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jun 14, 2011 5:34 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
welcome to my world
the world of red bull.
"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."
by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:43 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
I thought the WfnV liquor of choice was fresher corn squeezin's than brown likker.
by Albino Tornado on Jun 14, 2011 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions
peach moonshine
and a can of Beast is you need to know.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:19 AM EDT up reply actions
gaaah
hungover typist is hungover.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:20 AM EDT up reply actions
Jim Tressel has been planning a similar jump since April
by Ardbeg on Jun 14, 2011 5:38 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
But then he got nervous and punted instead.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:15 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
and the consumers BAC
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
by CoastalCowbell on Jun 14, 2011 5:47 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well said
rec’d
Dawg fan by birth,
no longer in Beaumont by the grace of God.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jun 14, 2011 5:47 PM EDT up reply actions
Ouch, from the office?
The only thing that has ever made me squeeze (yank, throw, slam, or otherwise maim) a mouse/keyboard has been DotA/HoN. Four mice and two keyboards in 6 years of playing isn’t that bad, right?
Prodigy songs, you say?
Change my pitch up, smacking Pitt up
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."-Bill Hicks
Firestarter.
/couchburning.jpg
I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.
Tom O'Brien once jumped off a speed bump.
"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"
And then immediately turned himself in to the police.
You get that chocolate milk!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 14, 2011 6:43 PM EDT up reply actions
The Mayans were wrong
The world will end when Les Miles and Dana Holgorson face off this fall. The Bible actually has a typo; it should read Morgantown and not Megiddo.
The Twitter, she is sometimes amusing
by emc503 on Jun 14, 2011 6:03 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Holgo is in training for the LSU game
Its brilliant. He’s trying to get inside Les’ mind. He wants to understand Les’ process.
Tearing up casinos in a drunken rage, jumping out of planes—its the only way to open up the portions of the mind in which Les calls plays.
I wouldn’t doubt it at all if Holgo sniffs out one of Les’ trick plays. This is game-changing type stuff here. As an LSU alumnus, I sure wish ole whittlin’ Bill was still at the helm come fall.
Be careful, Les. Play this guy straight. He’s dangerous.
Random thought: Does T. Boone Pickens have some kind of experiment going on at OSU. One pill makes you smaller…..
by I ate the grass on Jun 14, 2011 6:08 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
rec'd
"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."
by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:54 PM EDT up reply actions
Les' mind
Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern
by Eddie Teach on Jun 15, 2011 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
it's like what peter boyle said of robert mitchum
“you know what the 2001 theme is? that’s the sound of Holgorsen waking up in the morning.”
Remember the Rose Bowl: The Story of the Alabama Crimson Tide & the Grandaddy of Them All
by kleph on Jun 14, 2011 6:33 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
I love you, Holgo.
I mean this with all seriousness: He is the fucking best. Literally. He’s better than everyone else ever.
by Peter Gray on Jun 14, 2011 6:50 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
I think this site would explode in pure ecstasy if Holgo hired RonP as a coordinator.
The Twitter, she is sometimes amusing
OLine or Offensive coordinator
And then we’d see if a website could splooge itself.
The Twitter, she is sometimes amusing
#RonP4WVU
Players who should be in the Hall of Fame: Pat TIllman, Dwight White, Donnie Shell, L.C. Greenwood, Ray Guy, Steve Tasker, Jack Butler, Greg Lloyd, Andy Russell, Cris Carter, Kevin Greene, Curtis Martin, Willie Roaf, Andre Reed and Jerry Kramer
"Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand." Wes Westrum
Canal Street Chronicles resident Steelers Fan
by WVPiratesfan on Jun 15, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions
"He’s better than everyone else ever."
rec
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Jun 15, 2011 8:41 AM EDT up reply actions
Long ago, in a conference far far away from the Big East...
…there was a coach who piloted a pass-happy offense that shorted out scoreboards all over the land. That coach craved adventure during the off-season, and quenched that thirst by doing extreme activities like jumping out of airplanes, swimming with sharks, and climbing the daunting heights of Mount Kilimanjaro.
Who was this man, this legend of the gridiron who left a legacy of burned defenses and title trophies as far as the eye could see?
/Fart noise
Kill, Bubba, Kill!
PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 7:02 PM EDT up reply actions
ONE GAME! HE GETS TO GO TO ONE GAME! NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I just went back and watched highlights from that game
Doesn’t matter that Charles was on the sidelines, man that game felt good.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 7:14 PM EDT up reply actions
MY girlfriend thinks its weird that I put that on mix cd's for car trips
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I was in the stands for that game.... it was awful, and then all of the sudden, it wasn't
I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole
It was the greatest BGS game thread of all time
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions
I was also in the stands for that game
It was awesome, and then all of a sudden, it wasn’t.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Excitement, adventure, a head coach craves not these things
/Yoda’d
by PalmettoTiger on Jun 14, 2011 8:10 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
I was wondering if this was going to come up
WEST VIRGINIANS BEWARE. THE SIMILARITIES ARE SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING
You've got a body like a battle axe.
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 7:41 AM EDT up reply actions
Also, they hired Stewart the same way we hired Bobby Williams.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Other stuff that's awesome:
A colleague is a new dad, so we’re keeping up with stuff for his kid. We found this:
Samuel L. Jackson narrates audiobook version of “Go the Fuck to Sleep”
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 7:17 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
oops
sample is the sixth one down on the page
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 7:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Phenomenal find.
Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.
THIS IS GREATNESS
"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.
by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 8:46 AM EDT up reply actions
Quality.
Best match since SNL had Jesse Jackson read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ when Dr. Suess died.
apologies for image quality, but it’s the sound we’re after.
I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.
You get a rec for this. Yes, I know you're just reporting stuff.
But this makes so much sense it’s almost not true. Like John Rhys-Davies being cast as Gimli – far too good a fit to actually happen in the random, shit-smacked universe we call home.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
by Go Big Rev on Jun 14, 2011 10:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Or Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
by SpartanDan on Jun 15, 2011 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I see it's Game of Thrones - I'll have to take your word for it
until those bastards at HBO release the DVDs.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Dinklage is perfect as the Imp.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
There was something on the interwebz I saw a while back
that was a picture of him in Tyrion’s armor, and it says “JUST GIVE HIM THE EMMY ALREADY” or something to that effect.
You've got a body like a battle axe.
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 9:52 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Pretty much, yeah.
I haven’t been able to see the last few episodes yet, but in one of the early ones, he was having so much damn fun playing the Imp, it was awesome to watch.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
So...
this thread isn’t very populated.
Are we staying here for the socceryfootyball or fanpost-open threading it?
And here's a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam!
The spambots are conserving space now
"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"
by psuphiman80 on Jun 15, 2011 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Honestly forgot about spam bots...
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Lacks emotional resonance and mangled grammar
D-
"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.
by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 8:48 AM EDT up reply actions
So! Who watched Jon Benjamin Has a Van?
Solid, I thought – loved “You Can’t Shoot Here.” I figured there are enough Archer fans on here that a few commenters might have watched.
The first bit fell a bit flat but the rest was lulz-worthy
by Mango Stasi on Jun 14, 2011 11:38 PM EDT up reply actions
I found it pretty damn funny
Especially the Mexico skit with Matt Walsh when he basically turned into Archer. Prior to that, he was just a guy that sounded like Archer, but during that skit, he was a schlubby live action Archer.
I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole
I watched, and I wish I could say it was better.
The Mexico skit was OK, but I found the rest to be very MEH.
I kept waiting for him to yell “RAMPAAAAAAGGGEEEE!”
Kill, Bubba, Kill!
It was OK
I honestly would have rather seen Norm’s Sports Show.
by fluffy_bunny_feet on Jun 15, 2011 9:16 AM EDT up reply actions
"Like Holgo the Barbarian has regrets."
The only regret he remembers is not insisting on doubling down at the craps table last night, ’cause following rules = whittling.
I hope he wins, ’cause far to often I get my hopes up, just to see them dashed. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU MIKE LEACH!!!!
Engineering wouldn't be so bad if occam's razor worked.
When rolling dice
the proper term is to “press” your bet. Don’t ask me how much it cost me to learn this.
by I ate the grass on Jun 15, 2011 9:09 AM EDT up reply actions
It appears you have tussled with Gamblor!
...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...
by Boozy McHound on Jun 15, 2011 10:07 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm sure he regrets only fucking Clemson
… and not her sister Auburn too.
by Albino Tornado on Jun 15, 2011 10:46 AM EDT up reply actions
How much for the fashion stuff?
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Jun 15, 2011 10:14 AM EDT up reply actions
Oh now you're just getting lazy.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 15, 2011 10:15 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm pretty sure all VANS shoes are the cheapest.
by fluffy_bunny_feet on Jun 15, 2011 10:22 AM EDT up reply actions
I want the Tiffany!
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
by Chloe Denmark on Jun 15, 2011 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Its worth it to pay the mark up on Tiffany jewelry
just to see a woman’s face light up when they see that blue box.
I have bought probably a dozen pieces of jewelry from Tiffany as gifts, and the sight of that blue box has never failed to deliver.
by I ate the grass on Jun 15, 2011 10:42 AM EDT up reply actions
PSA to all my fellow men
Do not put non-Tiffany jewelry or even non-jewelry items in a Tiffany blue box. That is all.
"Without spirits the men cannot support the fatigues of a long campaign" - Maj. Gen. Nathanael Greene
by TheDutchWonder on Jun 15, 2011 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I never did that
The Borsheim’s boxes in Omaha better only have Borsheims gear in them. (Borsheim’s is owned by Warren Buffett, and HOLY SHIT can you go broke there.)
by Albino Tornado on Jun 15, 2011 10:47 AM EDT up reply actions
Do they have Tiffany boxes big enough to fit a vacuum cleaner?
I’m here all week folks, try the veal.
by Mango Stasi on Jun 15, 2011 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions
The first year I had a full-time job . . .
. . . I bought my grandma something from Tiffany. She raised four kids in a six-room house in Appalachia and had never had anything from there. I couldn’t afford anything big, but she really appreciated that — and kept the box for the rest of her life.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Jun 15, 2011 10:59 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
vogue7.us
( ==== http://www.vogue7.us/ == ) Online Store,Get Name Brand Fashion From 12USD Now! Lv,Gucci,Prada,Coach,Chanel Women sandal is $30 DG,JUICY,Lv,Gucci,Coach Hand-bag price is $35 Polo,Locaste,Levis,EdHardy,Bape,Christan Audigier AF,COOGI Tshirt price is $12 Jeans price is $34 Jersey price is $29New era cap price is$16 Accept Paypal payments. Free shipping.Door to Door services! 5 days arrive your home or you ur friends’ adress by EMS,DHL,UPs click my link under here! ( == http://www.vogue7.us/ ==== )
A challenger appears!
It’s much easier to picture one’s foes as evil and inhuman if you’ve never shared a pint glass full of bourbon, although this doesn’t apply to people from UofA because this premise assumes they’re people.
by Big Jon on Jun 15, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
