Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Why We're Skeptical Of LeBron James

DANA HOLGORSEN STARS IN CRANK 7

Dana Holgorsen spent the first week on the job as West Virginia head coach visiting with the pillars of the program, healing wounds inflicted during the tumultuous Stewart/Holgorsen consul period, and proving himself HAHAHAH WE'RE KIDDING HE GRIPPED AND RIPPED IT BY GOING WHITE WATER RAFTING AND SKYDIVING.

/guitar noise

/starwipe

Screen_shot_2011-06-14_at_5

From WVIllustrated, a quote confirming that everything Holgorsen says begins like he's just waking up, and ends with a flash to a 90s action sequence set to a Prodigy song.  

Prior to the jump, Holgorsen was asked what he did to prepare for his leap. His response? "Nothing," he said. "Signed a waiver."

He would have focused more on the ground, but he had to concentrate on fighting the Beijing Cocktail in his veins all while calling his old girlfriend midd-fall in a fit of wistful regret.* The audio's nonexistent on the landing, but if you enhance the video you can read Holgorsen's lips as he says "I call that landing 'The Bill Stewart offense.'" The NCAA is going to investigate this for exceeding the limits of known coaching penile magnitude, and the conclusions will be clear and decisive. GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS. This chain of Holgorsen jokes could go on forever, but all we need for the moment is 2011 and the prospect of Dana Holgorsen being shot into Milan Puskar Stadium in a Zorb filled with brown liquor and Red Bull for the LSU game. (Or surfing in on a flaming couch wearing bloody bear hide. We'll take either one.)

(Via.)

*Like Holgo the Barbarian has regrets.

Comment 126 comments  |  1 recs  | 

Do you like this story?

Comments

Display:

UH OH HE DEAD

not a spoiler, really. He’s meat the minute he shows up on a screen

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair

by Londonjoe on Jun 14, 2011 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Rec'd for a GREAT BBC series

毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition

by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Agreed.

Plus the only thing he’s been in where he lives until the next movie.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

He made it through Troy as well

It’s a shame that Troy sucked so bad, because I would have liked to see his portrayal of Odysseus get a full movie.

I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole

by stempke on Jun 14, 2011 11:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

There is talk of an Odysseus movie...

…but from what I hear it will have Brad Pitt and be set in space.
/will not watch

Kill, Bubba, Kill!

by Spartan D on Jun 15, 2011 8:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

Wat?

that just sounds terrible.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

by Chloe Denmark on Jun 15, 2011 9:14 AM EDT up reply actions  

It's been in "pre-production" since 2008.

I’m betting it never sees the screen. Studios give “development deals” to big stars’ vanity projects all the time to get them to make the movies that will actually make money.

I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole

by stempke on Jun 15, 2011 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

This has B movie awesome written all over it

Just replace Brad Pitt with the guy from Evil Dead

You've got a body like a battle axe.

by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 9:51 AM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

How 'bout

Remaking Barbarella with Mila Kunis instead?

"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.

by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 10:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

If you choose Mila, am I allowed to choose her male counterparts?

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

by Chloe Denmark on Jun 15, 2011 10:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yes

Subject to peer review and approval.

"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.

by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

i'd fuck me

"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."

by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Guy on our HS team did the Buffalo Bill dance at a party once.

Complete with the tuck. He went on to play OL at a div. II school. Pretty disturbing, to say the least. It was one of those record-scratch, music-stopping scenes.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 6:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

Would you fuck Clemson?

I’d fuck Clemson. I’d fuck Clemson so hard.

Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.

by Cali Dawg on Jun 14, 2011 6:56 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Wait.

Was she a great big fat person?

by Llewelyn Moss on Jun 14, 2011 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

That movie

ruined American Girl for me

"Why would you ask a dumb question like that?" - Lloyd Carr

by Ouck Fhio on Jun 14, 2011 9:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

HEY BILL!

"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."

by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

"You like Huey Lewis and the News?

Their early work was a little New Wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in ’83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:27 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Isn't it obvious?

Photobucket

" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...

by KWashburn on Jun 14, 2011 7:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

Watch the leather

maaan

"Why would you ask a dumb question like that?" - Lloyd Carr

by Ouck Fhio on Jun 14, 2011 9:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

But Holgo Bean Stark

would go long on 3rd and 1 while simultaneously bitch-slapping Joffrey and high-fiving the imp.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

"filled with brown liquor and Red Bull for the LSU game"

Isn’t that mandatory accompaniment for entry into a WFVU/LSU game?

Dawg fan by birth,
no longer in Beaumont by the grace of God.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Jun 14, 2011 5:34 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

peach moonshine

and a can of Beast is you need to know.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

gaaah

hungover typist is hungover.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

by TheMattROb on Jun 15, 2011 10:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

Les Miles takes this video as a challenge

You don’t know crazy, you just think you know crazy.

by Ardbeg on Jun 14, 2011 5:36 PM EDT reply actions  

Update from the office.

I just squeezed my mouse to death.

Glad we have spares.

by Erik T on Jun 14, 2011 5:53 PM EDT reply actions  

Ouch, from the office?

The only thing that has ever made me squeeze (yank, throw, slam, or otherwise maim) a mouse/keyboard has been DotA/HoN. Four mice and two keyboards in 6 years of playing isn’t that bad, right?

by r3probate on Jun 14, 2011 6:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

Prodigy songs, you say?

Change my pitch up, smacking Pitt up

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."-Bill Hicks

by Linoleum Knife on Jun 14, 2011 5:54 PM EDT reply actions  

Firestarter.

/couchburning.jpg

I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.

by smk73 on Jun 15, 2011 8:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

The Mayans were wrong

The world will end when Les Miles and Dana Holgorson face off this fall. The Bible actually has a typo; it should read Morgantown and not Megiddo.

The Twitter, she is sometimes amusing

by emc503 on Jun 14, 2011 6:03 PM EDT reply actions   3 recs

rec'd

"set the game ablaze, i'm an arcade fire."

by whiskey_soup on Jun 14, 2011 6:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

Les' mind

Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern

by Eddie Teach on Jun 15, 2011 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

it's like what peter boyle said of robert mitchum

“you know what the 2001 theme is? that’s the sound of Holgorsen waking up in the morning.”

Remember the Rose Bowl: The Story of the Alabama Crimson Tide & the Grandaddy of Them All

by kleph on Jun 14, 2011 6:33 PM EDT reply actions   2 recs

I love you, Holgo.

I mean this with all seriousness: He is the fucking best. Literally. He’s better than everyone else ever.

We drink and we dry up and now we crumble into dust. We get wet and we corrode and now we're covered up in rust.
LBU - Twitter

by Peter Gray on Jun 14, 2011 6:50 PM EDT reply actions   3 recs

GOATEE coach

We drink and we dry up and now we crumble into dust. We get wet and we corrode and now we're covered up in rust.
LBU - Twitter

by Peter Gray on Jun 14, 2011 6:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

OLine or Offensive coordinator

And then we’d see if a website could splooge itself.

The Twitter, she is sometimes amusing

by emc503 on Jun 14, 2011 6:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

#RonP4WVU

Players who should be in the Hall of Fame: Pat TIllman, Dwight White, Donnie Shell, L.C. Greenwood, Ray Guy, Steve Tasker, Jack Butler, Greg Lloyd, Andy Russell, Cris Carter, Kevin Greene, Curtis Martin, Willie Roaf, Andre Reed and Jerry Kramer
"Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand." Wes Westrum
Canal Street Chronicles resident Steelers Fan

by WVPiratesfan on Jun 15, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

Long ago, in a conference far far away from the Big East...

…there was a coach who piloted a pass-happy offense that shorted out scoreboards all over the land. That coach craved adventure during the off-season, and quenched that thirst by doing extreme activities like jumping out of airplanes, swimming with sharks, and climbing the daunting heights of Mount Kilimanjaro.
Who was this man, this legend of the gridiron who left a legacy of burned defenses and title trophies as far as the eye could see?

/Fart noise

Kill, Bubba, Kill!

by Spartan D on Jun 14, 2011 7:01 PM EDT reply actions  

PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER

毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition

by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 7:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

ONE GAME! HE GETS TO GO TO ONE GAME! NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair

by Londonjoe on Jun 14, 2011 7:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

I just went back and watched highlights from that game

Doesn’t matter that Charles was on the sidelines, man that game felt good.

毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition

by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 7:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

MY girlfriend thinks its weird that I put that on mix cd's for car trips

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair

by Londonjoe on Jun 14, 2011 7:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

I was in the stands for that game.... it was awful, and then all of the sudden, it wasn't

I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole

by stempke on Jun 14, 2011 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

It was the greatest BGS game thread of all time

毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition

by Kelly's Gyros on Jun 14, 2011 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

I was also in the stands for that game

It was awesome, and then all of a sudden, it wasn’t.

I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.

by SpartanDan on Jun 14, 2011 9:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

YAIS

We drink and we dry up and now we crumble into dust. We get wet and we corrode and now we're covered up in rust.
LBU - Twitter

by Peter Gray on Jun 14, 2011 7:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

I was wondering if this was going to come up

WEST VIRGINIANS BEWARE. THE SIMILARITIES ARE SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING

You've got a body like a battle axe.

by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 7:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

Also, they hired Stewart the same way we hired Bobby Williams.

I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.

by SpartanDan on Jun 15, 2011 8:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

oops

sample is the sixth one down on the page

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 14, 2011 7:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

Phenomenal find.

Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.

by Cali Dawg on Jun 14, 2011 7:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

THIS IS GREATNESS

"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.

by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 8:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

Quality.

Best match since SNL had Jesse Jackson read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ when Dr. Suess died.

apologies for image quality, but it’s the sound we’re after.

I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.

by smk73 on Jun 15, 2011 8:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

stupid link stupid fail

Here it is really.

I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.

by smk73 on Jun 15, 2011 9:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

You get a rec for this. Yes, I know you're just reporting stuff.

But this makes so much sense it’s almost not true. Like John Rhys-Davies being cast as Gimli – far too good a fit to actually happen in the random, shit-smacked universe we call home.

"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip

by Go Big Rev on Jun 14, 2011 10:17 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Or Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister.

I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.

by SpartanDan on Jun 15, 2011 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I see it's Game of Thrones - I'll have to take your word for it

until those bastards at HBO release the DVDs.

"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip

by Go Big Rev on Jun 15, 2011 12:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

Dinklage is perfect as the Imp.

Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.

by blanx73 on Jun 15, 2011 9:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

There was something on the interwebz I saw a while back

that was a picture of him in Tyrion’s armor, and it says “JUST GIVE HIM THE EMMY ALREADY” or something to that effect.

You've got a body like a battle axe.

by The Ghost of John Hannah on Jun 15, 2011 9:52 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Pretty much, yeah.

I haven’t been able to see the last few episodes yet, but in one of the early ones, he was having so much damn fun playing the Imp, it was awesome to watch.

Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.

by blanx73 on Jun 15, 2011 10:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

So...

this thread isn’t very populated.

Are we staying here for the socceryfootyball or fanpost-open threading it?

And here's a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam!

by UMBAI on Jun 14, 2011 8:03 PM EDT reply actions  

The spambots are conserving space now

"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"

by psuphiman80 on Jun 15, 2011 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Honestly forgot about spam bots...

" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...

by KWashburn on Jun 15, 2011 4:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

Lacks emotional resonance and mangled grammar

D-

"Listen, if the Miami Heat were playing the Washington Generals I would pick the Washington Generals," Barkley said with a chuckle.

by Burrito Electrico on Jun 15, 2011 8:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

So! Who watched Jon Benjamin Has a Van?

Solid, I thought – loved “You Can’t Shoot Here.” I figured there are enough Archer fans on here that a few commenters might have watched.

by huskies2010 on Jun 14, 2011 11:27 PM EDT reply actions  

I found it pretty damn funny

Especially the Mexico skit with Matt Walsh when he basically turned into Archer. Prior to that, he was just a guy that sounded like Archer, but during that skit, he was a schlubby live action Archer.

I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole

by stempke on Jun 15, 2011 8:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

I watched, and I wish I could say it was better.

The Mexico skit was OK, but I found the rest to be very MEH.
I kept waiting for him to yell “RAMPAAAAAAGGGEEEE!”

Kill, Bubba, Kill!

by Spartan D on Jun 15, 2011 9:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

It was OK

I honestly would have rather seen Norm’s Sports Show.

by fluffy_bunny_feet on Jun 15, 2011 9:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

"Like Holgo the Barbarian has regrets."

The only regret he remembers is not insisting on doubling down at the craps table last night, ’cause following rules = whittling.

I hope he wins, ’cause far to often I get my hopes up, just to see them dashed. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU MIKE LEACH!!!!

Engineering wouldn't be so bad if occam's razor worked.

by meatybob on Jun 15, 2011 8:00 AM EDT reply actions  

When rolling dice

the proper term is to “press” your bet. Don’t ask me how much it cost me to learn this.

by I ate the grass on Jun 15, 2011 9:09 AM EDT up reply actions  

It appears you have tussled with Gamblor!

...and the drunks all think I made it, and the girls all twist and shake it like they do; all my playground fears have faded, replaced with grown up nightmares that have come true...

by Boozy McHound on Jun 15, 2011 10:07 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

How much for the fashion stuff?

Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!

by She Blinded Me With Violence on Jun 15, 2011 10:14 AM EDT up reply actions  

I want the Tiffany!

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

by Chloe Denmark on Jun 15, 2011 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

Its worth it to pay the mark up on Tiffany jewelry

just to see a woman’s face light up when they see that blue box.

I have bought probably a dozen pieces of jewelry from Tiffany as gifts, and the sight of that blue box has never failed to deliver.

by I ate the grass on Jun 15, 2011 10:42 AM EDT up reply actions  

PSA to all my fellow men

Do not put non-Tiffany jewelry or even non-jewelry items in a Tiffany blue box. That is all.

"Without spirits the men cannot support the fatigues of a long campaign" - Maj. Gen. Nathanael Greene

by TheDutchWonder on Jun 15, 2011 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I never did that

The Borsheim’s boxes in Omaha better only have Borsheims gear in them. (Borsheim’s is owned by Warren Buffett, and HOLY SHIT can you go broke there.)

by Albino Tornado on Jun 15, 2011 10:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

The first year I had a full-time job . . .

. . . I bought my grandma something from Tiffany. She raised four kids in a six-room house in Appalachia and had never had anything from there. I couldn’t afford anything big, but she really appreciated that — and kept the box for the rest of her life.

Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!

by DevilGrad on Jun 15, 2011 10:59 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

vogue7.us

( ==== http://www.vogue7.us/ == ) Online Store,Get Name Brand Fashion From 12USD Now! Lv,Gucci,Prada,Coach,Chanel Women sandal is $30 DG,JUICY,Lv,Gucci,Coach Hand-bag price is $35 Polo,Locaste,Levis,EdHardy,Bape,Christan Audigier AF,COOGI Tshirt price is $12 Jeans price is $34 Jersey price is $29New era cap price is$16 Accept Paypal payments. Free shipping.Door to Door services! 5 days arrive your home or you ur friends’ adress by EMS,DHL,UPs click my link under here! ( == http://www.vogue7.us/ ==== )

by Meimeiaiwo Wo on Jun 15, 2011 12:40 PM EDT reply actions  

A challenger appears!

It’s much easier to picture one’s foes as evil and inhuman if you’ve never shared a pint glass full of bourbon, although this doesn’t apply to people from UofA because this premise assumes they’re people.

by Big Jon on Jun 15, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Because College Football is too important to be left to the professionals.

FanPosts


Managers

Img_0172_small Spencer Hall

Small Orson

Screen_shot_2011-08-18_at_2 Holly Anderson

Editors

Lzprofilepictwopointoh_small Luke Zimmermann

Me_tuscaloosa_small Doug Gillett

Trex_small Run Home Jack