OREGON'S CLIFF HARRIS LOCKS DOWN THE GAS PEDAL

We don't want this to degenerate into "well, this our story of the fastest we've ever gone in a car," threads,* because that's a matter of public safety. We wouldn't want anyone to think going over 100 mph in a car was acceptable on public roads, or that the thrill of speed, pure, erection-inducing speed let loose on the freeway with engines roaring like she-wolves in heat baying for satisfaction was second to no drug we've ever tried. No, that would be bad, and we cannot endorse it, especially not for the tingling sensation you can have for days after dropping the hammer going into turn 3 at Talladega. Nope. All bad stuff, that.

Oregon cornerback Cliff Harris would agree at this point, too, that speeding and stuff is bad, right? Right, Cliff?

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(Via.)

FULL DISCLOSURE: our record was doing 89 in a 65, but it was in an '87 Ford Escort station wagon, which translated into normal car terms is like going 495 mph in a 20 mph zone in a 2006 Chevy Impala. It's impressive, but shit, son, it's not going 53 miles over the speed limit when the limit starts at 65. Harris will receive two points for the suspended license and speeding ticket in the Fulmer Cup, but a bonus point must be awarded for speed for a total of three points.

Harris was not jailed after the incident, a small miracle that prevents us from making the obvious "I'm Cliff Harris, and I'm here to get my shit locked down for attempting to take off of an interstate in a small plane called a car."

*Yes we do.

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