THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/26/2011

WHY SIRRAH, HOW DO YOU AVOID PAYING YOUR SLAVES? 

We don't have an official statement from the Big Ten or any other conference in response to this, but we do have the Big Ten's response, as always. (

Sameagle_medium

(Come on, man. EDSBS commenters have had Delany as Sam the Eagle for YEARS now.)

ALL HAIL THE BIG EAST CASINO. The Big East Casino tweets last night were superb, and we missed them because we fell asleep at 9:30 p.m., but to add our humble suggestions:

  1. At the Big East Casino, Bill Stewart thinks "War" is missing the word "Spanish-American" in front of it.
  2. At the Big East Casino, Villanova doesn't understand why a Puerto Rican driver's license isn't considered valid ID for entry.
  3. At the Big East Casino non-members have a shockingly underplayed habit of getting their ass kicked at the door
  4. At the Big East Casino, Greg Schiano should have cashed out years ago, and is still sitting at the table getting his ass handed to him.
  5. At the Big East Casino, Todd Graham knows he can't use his phone at the table. It's cool: he doesn't mind making his calls from the bathroom.
  6. At the Big East Casino, UConn wins a seat at the final table in a Hold 'Em tournament and has to pays the house $1.8 million. 
  7. At the Big East Casino, you avert your eyes and walk out of the bathroom quickly to avoid tipping Greg Robinson. (Put that down, Greg Robinson. It's Lysol, not cologne, and no amount of enthusiasm will convince us otherwise.) 
  8. At the Big East Casino, prostitutes are not allowed unless they are named Bobby Petrino (and he priced himself out of the clientele years ago anyway.)
  9. At the Big East Casino, people still talk about that time A-C-Caesar's Place stole two of the best blackjack tables and that one useless Caribbean Stud Table.
  10. At the Big East Casino, Skip Holtz's father has been booted for spitting on a dealer. He claims it was accidental. 

(PS. At the Big East Casino, the rumors of taking Army and Navy as conference expansion targets is met with the only appropriate response from members.)

 

ABOUT THAT ACTUAL CASINO THING. Dana Holgorsen and Andrew Luck's father both issued statements about the incident, confirming that something happened, that that something was not indicative of the appropriate behavior of a football coach, and that it would certainly not be happening again. (Via.)

"I learned a valuable lesson from this incident. As a football coach, I am always in the public eye and I have to hold myself to a higher standard, which is what I ask our players to do," Holgorsen said in a statement.  "I'm sorry that this incident has put the University and the football program in a difficult position. I will not put myself in that situation again."

Let's remember that Holgorsen broke no laws here, hurt no one but himself, and is awesome. Also, as Smoking Musket points out, you might not want to buy him a drink the next time the Barbarian himself sits down next to you at the blackjack table.  Watch the video in that first Holgo link, and note the best comment of all from a man on the street where he says "they knew he liked to party and drink, so it's no big deal."#chuuuuuuuuch

EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT EDSBS WHEN WE PUT GLOWING ARROWS ON IT. Chip Towers completely slams the door on speculation about Mark Richt's home sale being related to a possible departure from Athens by doing the sneaky thing and actually talking to the coach. Richt, motivated by a reading of The Hole In Our Gospel, is selling the house in order to increase his financial giving to World Vision, Inc, an evangelical Christian relief agency of great scope and influence in the international relief community.

(Side note: we always got queasy around religious relief organizations, but WV has a solid Charity Navigator rating, does work in a shitload of horrible places, and actually endorses condom use as a secondary method for preventing the spread of HIV in developing countries. They're not bad at all by reputation, and suffer about as many accusations of graft as any other large relief organization.)

Somehow we think the most damaging thing about all of this for Brooks, a UGA grad who lives in the soulful, not-at-all-superficial burg of Los Angeles, is that Towers mentions his real age--43--in the story. We see your journalistic cattiness, Chip, and nod in appreciation at it. (Full disclosure: we turn 79 in July. NO REGRETS.)

RAY SMALL SAYS IT'S COOL. Remember the most dangerous phrases in the world. 1. "Do you like to party?" This phrase ends up with you vomiting in a ditch at best. 2. "I felt disrespected, that's why." This person is an idiot; eject from the personal situational plane you occupy with them, or otherwise extricate yourself from the situation immediately. These are the people who gave duelling a bad name. 3. "Don't worry, it's cool." In every instance where this phrase is used, it is most certainly not. 4. "Don't make this weird." Oh, it probably already is, and not in a good way. 

Eleven Warriors points out that Ray Small continues his phantasmagorical haunting of Ohio State. HAVE YOU PEOPLE NOT HEARD OF OMERTA? 

SURE, WE'RE TERRIFIED OF USF. We're pushing the USF game back again, most likely in favor of an important game with UL-Monroe.

QUEEFCORE MECCA IS OUR DESTINATION AND YOU CANNOT STOP US FROM BOWING. Kinda want to go to the front row of this show and bang our heads until they fall off, bro. (Via Denny Mayo)

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