IMPOSTOR WEST VIRGINIANS STANDING IN PATH OF PROGRESS, WATERY STADIUM LIBATIONS

via cdn1.sbnation.com

Hoo lawsy, here we go again: An unscientific poll of public comments filed with the state of West Virginia over a 30-day period finds that a majority don't support the idea of beer sales at WFV athletic events. There are threats of boycotts! Threats of season ticket cancellations! Threats of donations to be withheld!

[clutches pearls, blows raspberry at laptop, wipes screen, continues]

We've been over this at length, both in this space and at the mothership (where a commenter is right in that it will lead to Holgorsen calling plays while holding a tallboy, and doesn't that make it worth it all by itself), and have been straightforward in our unanimous approval merely because we love West Virginia, Morgantown, and drankin'. But to remind, SB Nation's Mountaineer blog managed to unwrap its arms from around the still long enough to mount a thoughtful, convincing, and sober (ish!) defense:

Some fans opposition to selling beer at Mountaineer Field is another example of us standing in our own way. The older crowd is making excuses about what could potentially go wrong, while ignoring all the things that make sense about this proposal.  Appalachian conservatism (or fatalism, as is often the case) leads to an all-too-easy wagging of fingers blaming the faceless drunk as the problem of Mountaineer Field.  This proposal fits neatly into that box, allowing some fans to quickly dismiss it.  Examining the idea more completely, however, shows that it makes sense.  Our athletic director has reached the same conclusion.

And furthermore: Who the blue fuck is actually going to give up football Saturdays because 3% lite hopswater's on tap at Mountaineer Field? Look, our momma is from WFV, and we know what we're talking about when we say that, like so many great college towns, there is very little else to live for in the state that time of year without the ol' home team. We can see money being withheld, but attendance dropping? Like hell. Like HELL, sirrahs. We have no choice but to conclude these naysayers are impostor West Virginnyans, and must be captured and pilloried for the good of the general populace. "Foul and abusive language, rude and obnoxious individuals, mistreatment of opposing fans and a general lack of civility" is a deterrent now? Honestly. You people.

[HT: Friend of the program Darren Rovell, who is not 32 no matter what he says. #darrenrovellbirthers]

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