THE KILIMANJARO BOWL IS JUST THE BEGINNING (OF OUR ELABORATE DOMINO RUSE TO EVENTUALLY GET DAVE CLAWSON KIDNAPPED TO ANOTHER HEMISPHERE)
You likely can't name anybody on the Drake Bulldogs' two-deep, but they're about to have a football experience we I-A fancypants programs won't be able to match without divine intervention*: The Kilimanjaro Bowl is upon us, and though the game won't be played on the slopes of Africa's most well-known big ol' hill, the offseason scrimmage between Drake and Mexico's CONADEIP all-star team will have use of the pretty metally-monikered Sheik Amri Abeid Memorial Stadium. Kickoff is Saturday, and the game will be available via satellite stream (more info on that here).
This all set us to pondering: College basketball gets games on aircraft carriers, and Notre Dame vs. Navy will play in Ireland in 2012. What's our next frontier (highly imaginary until the NCAA decides to loosen its stranglehold on fun, just a titch)?
We'd like to steal a dance from the hoopyballers and stage Tennessee-Alabama atop the Red October (which would have to exist; we are aware of the hurdles here), and here's the kicker: Actually play it on the Third Saturday In October for once in our natural lives.
Over to you, campers: Stage your own gimmick game, and make it memorable. (And please, we entreat you: No jokes about fitting two endzones in Tommu Tuberville's cavernous vagina. It's not a fair comparison, as 1) vaginas perform many useful functions, and 2) people like them.)
*Come on. Like Crazy Old Testament God wouldn't zap up [NAME REDACTED] and the entire fighting Illini roster and turn them loose on some forbidding steppe, just to see what happened. And just like that, Fearless Leader has something to pray for.
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uh...ahem...thats already taken...

Much Inspirational...No pain, no pain....
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on May 16, 2011 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
B1G FOOTBALL. TOUGH. GRITTY. MANSOME.
IN A DOME IN INDIANAPOLIS.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions
As we all know
It can get windy in the mid-west. Very windy.
(Well, at least of all us in the B1G realize this)
twitter - devidee33
nah, that weather system has moved south for the time being.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions
I got this so I can remember that:

Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions
'80s coaching Ditka, or TV announcer Ditka?
Aw, who cares, either way, Ditka.
Either love your players or get out of coaching.
waitwaitwait...what if the hurricane
was hurricane…DITKA?
by Matt.Brown on May 16, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
In all seriousness
I do wish there was a way that Auburn and Georgia could go back to playing on the border in Columbus. That would be insane.
QUICK SOMEONE BUILD AFLAC-STRIPCLUB-MILITARY SURPLUS STADIUM.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
by Ronnie D on May 16, 2011 2:38 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Military Surplus? Pre-Fab stadia?
Sir, I do believe C-USA has the stranglehold on that particular architectural style.

My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Yeah, that's exactly what we need.
Another game played against a good rival right in their damn backyard.
by vineyarddawg on May 16, 2011 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm thinking tailgating, you're thinking W's
Hence the divergence. But the “It’s in Jax so we’re at a disadvantage” argument has always struck me as unpersuasive since it’s 50/50 in the stadium anyway, and we go to places like Tuscaloosa and Baton Rouge and manage to win all the time.
THINK WITH YOUR LIVER MAN.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Have you ever been drunk in Columbus?
No matter whether the answer is yes or no, I rest my case.
/Bulletproof argument
by vineyarddawg on May 16, 2011 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Phenix City waves.
/and promptly throws you down a hole into the Chattahoochee
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Born in Albany
So not afraid. But your argument remains valid for 90% of the population.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
UGA has won twice in Tuscaloosa...ever
Two wins in an opponents home does not qualify as winning “all the time.” You must do too much thinking with your liver and not enough fact-checking before you speak. I bet you really enjoyed that “Black-out” in 08 in Athens!!!
by ApothecaryMark on May 16, 2011 7:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, but under Mark Richt's tenure...
… ahh shit, just forget it. You’re just going to come back with HERP rurrnned your blackout and DERP nashnul champions anyway.
by vineyarddawg on May 16, 2011 8:01 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Precisely
VineyardDawg gets it. It wasn’t “We win in Tuscaloosa every time.” It was “We have been winning a lot of tough road games these past 12 years.” I’ll make sure if there is even a tangential reference to the Tahd from now on, it is fact checked and cross referenced. RTR RTR RMFT.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Alabama has beaten Auburn once in Tuscaloosca - over 3 centuries.

by Board Certified Scrotologist on May 16, 2011 9:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Woooo sample size arguments!
Ohio State has won 83.3% of the time against all the SEC schools in Columbus, all time.
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
AU is 10-14-2 against UGA in Auburn, 16-21-1 in Columbus and 18-11-1 in Athens.
I say we just play in Athens every year.
by TexasAUtiger on May 16, 2011 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Isn't that where Aunt Stabby lives now?
BACKYARD BALL AT AUNT STABBY’S HOUSE.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions
/hits ball through window
//blames SBMWV
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions
MUST GET RID OF THE EVIDENCE
/burns house down
/blames ACS
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 5:54 PM EDT up reply actions
DAMMIT.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 5:56 PM EDT up reply actions
COME VISIT I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY HERE
[makes cupcakes]
________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.
by Holly Anderson on May 16, 2011 9:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I'll bring beer!
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
I'll drive everyone to Dinglewood.
Drunk.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
by Ronnie D on May 16, 2011 9:19 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Rec'd for Dinglewood ref
Wife is from Columbus. Dinglewood actually “catered” an engagement party for us (back in early ‘90s when the Lt was still around). Lunch a Dinglewood is my wife’s strongest incentive to get me to make a trip to see the inlaws.
Lieutenant is still kicking. At least the last time I was there in 2010.
He retired, the quality of the dogs plummeted, they begged him to come back.
/inlaws are also from Columbus
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 17, 2011 9:26 AM EDT up reply actions
Taunting - 5 yards
I want a cupcake so freakin bad!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 12:08 AM EDT up reply actions
You can always hit up that place in the Vista for a cupcake.
I haven’t been, but I’ve heard it’s pretty good. Probably will have to wait until daylight though.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 12:12 AM EDT up reply actions
Except, ya know
I’m like 2400 miles away… also they put too much frosting on their cupcakes.
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions
Srsly
![]()
it’s like Ja’Juan listening to Katy Perry up there
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Don't you ruin cupcake icing for me
Fuck the cake, you can have it. I’ll take whatever icing you find to be excessive.
by little red corvette on May 17, 2011 1:00 AM EDT up reply actions
The frosting is literally
taller than the cake base – it is good but super sweet. I lop off about 3/4 of it. You can have it!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions
Is it real and delicious icing?
say cream cheese icing?
/yum
Apparently post surgery all i want is chips and cookies and cakes, i’m trying to indulge myself as much as possible.
DO WANT
The red velvet one
I had a year ago around Xmas had cream cheese frosting…
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 1:06 AM EDT up reply actions
I ate half of it
and my best friend ate the other half… I think it was actually at the orphan thanksgiving party we were at and we were both too stuffed to eat a whole one but the store had just opened so they were the new thang and we had to try one…
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 1:10 AM EDT up reply actions
Oops, sorry.
Thought you were in Columbia still. So where are you?
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 12:58 AM EDT up reply actions
And you'll have to forgive me.
I’ve been drinking heavily.
\celebrating making it to the finals!
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 1:00 AM EDT up reply actions
I've been SOB in MX
since enero! I have one month to go before air conditioning, bathtubs, cupcakes, and high thread count sheets – I CANNOT WAIT
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions
Hopefully, coming back to Columbia.
The city will be better off with you here! And you’ll need all the air conditioning you can get in the coming months if you do return to Columbia, SC.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions
Yep I'll be back just in time for July!
Yippie!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 1:06 AM EDT up reply actions
That's good news.
Hope you have a safe trip back.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 1:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Congrats on that
Helluva match, from what I understand. I need to try and catch highlights, and try to get the radio for today’s match as well.
And we were singing, hymns and arias...
Thanks.
It was a great match. Could have very easily been Forest’s night. They hit the bar twice and the post once. Swansea also put one off the bar. Just shows how much action was going on.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 9:08 AM EDT up reply actions
Open thread!!!
Real live college football in MAY!!!
Also ITSEM is like MIT in Mexico – hilarious that most of the Mexican players will come from there.
I wonder if they will be the BEEES! or ABEJAAAAS!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
This may bee the ITSEM mascot...

The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Try again

Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 16, 2011 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Here, let ME try again:

Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 16, 2011 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions
They're bees
They’re banditos. They’re desperate! How did I miss this?
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 1:02 AM EDT up reply actions
Ga. Tech vs. ANYBODY in the Cheetah III Convention Bowl
Played indoors in one of the gigantic exhibition halls in the Georgia World Congress Center. Almost no room for fans, so set up a zillion cameras and sell it pay-per-view. 20-foot ceilings mean that passing is very difficult, and punting is pretty much impossible (heh heh heh).
Either love your players or get out of coaching.
As long as you're not playing Georgia or Clemson,
you shouldn’t need room for fans. Easy joke is easy.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
TALENT SCOUTS COME TO SEE MAUAJI?

Steve: I would not get too excited, my friend. This is mostly to serve the people of Tanzania.
WHY STEVE ALWAYS CRUSH MAUAJI’S DREAMS? KILIMANJARO BOWL NEED MASCOT. MAUAJI BRING LOCAL FLAVOR AND SEX PEEL.
Steve: It is just Drake, friend.
IS SPRINGBOARD TO BIGGER THINGS! STEVE SOUND LIKE FATHER OF MAUAJI.
Steve: If we go get some ke-babies, will you drop it?
FIRST MAUAJI FINISHES RESUME FOR KILIMANJARO BOWL COMMITTEE. THEN KE-BABIES. MAUAJI NEED BETTER HEAD SHOTS THIS TIME.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 2:39 PM EDT reply actions 14 recs
MAUAJI NOT PADDING RESUME
JUST GIVE STRAIGHT DOPE AND BRING HYENA. MIKE PRICE NOT UNDERSTAND, EXILED TO EL PASO. MAUAJI NOT TAKING THAT FUCKING RISK.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Is that dude..........
……………really walking a FUCKING HYENA???
Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern
IS MAUAJI.
AND IS STRONG AND INDEPENDENT HYENA WITH NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions
MAUAJI PLAN TO MOVE TO PETALUMA AND START SMALL KE-BABY STREET CART BUSINESS
MAUAJI WILL BE SUCCESS AND SHOW FATHER OF MAUAJI.
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
I was as disgusted by Mike Vick's interests as anybody,
but I read Jack London too. I can’t help but wonder what that hyena would do to a domestic pitt bull or mastiff.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions
A fighting pit bull would shred that thing.
Hyenas look tough, but they’re mainly scavengers.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
You know this due to your extensive knowledge of...
dog fighting?
Granted, they are scavengers, but they are also wild animals that do kill things for a living. They also outweigh a pitbull probably 3:1
by El Kabong!!! on May 16, 2011 4:36 PM EDT up reply actions
and travel in packs...
Much Inspirational...No pain, no pain....
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on May 16, 2011 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions
I understand their role in the ecosystem,
however, they are scavengers in the most large predator-heavy environment on land. Seems like they could easily adapt to a role at the top of the food chain in many environments.
Hyenas outweigh pitt bulls by a massive amount (100-190 vs 30-60 lbs), and it is almost all muscle. They are probably smarter as well, and they also have a 1000 psi bite force, vs 220-250 for a pitt.
The more I think about it, the more I think the pitt bull would have no more of a “sporting chance” than the raccoon Jerry Clower talks of getting knocked into a pack of twenty dogs.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions
You're right.
I didn’t realize hyenas were that large.
Plus, they were total cowards in the Lion King.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
I forgot "The Lion King"
was a documentary on the African plains ecosystem.
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 16, 2011 5:29 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
"everything i know i learned from disney movies!"
/eats plywood
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 5:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Learn evolution?
LOL F U NO SIR.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions
I hate danglin'!
That's it, I'll sue you and YOUR WHOLE CRUMMY AIRLINE
by Burrito Electrico on May 17, 2011 9:08 AM EDT up reply actions
Going to vote for the Pits
Hyenas ARE scavengers and rarely kill on their own and when they do it’s in a pack. Therefore, not likely to be very good in a One-on-One situation.
As for size differences, I had a Pit Bull / Rhodesian Ridgeback mix that was easily 80 – 90 pounds. Mastiffs and Pits are from the same dog family tree branch and those things easily weigh 120 lbs and have been known to reach 220 lbs. I’ve seen many pit bull/mastiff mixes in my time.
The American Bandogge Mastiff
The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother. John Wooden
Imma get pedantic here
And say that if it’s more than 60# it ain’t a pit. Pit mix, maybe. Which is basically what you said, but it bugs me to hear people talk about 100# pit bulls, since no such thing exists.
/rescued pit owner
//my dog was a bait dog
///knows way more about dog fighting than she ever wanted to
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 6:08 PM EDT up reply actions
I didn't even know "bait dogs" existed
That really does almost make you sick to even think about it.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 6:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Yep
You can see why I find casual conversation about dog fighting to be…distasteful.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 6:15 PM EDT up reply actions
Agree with some of what you say.
Pits are not a true breed.
A 50/50 pit and Mastiff mix would still be a pit.
ergo, can easily reach over 60#
The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother. John Wooden
While pit bull is an unfortunately nebulous label
In this country for purposes of idiotic breed legislation the American Pit Bull Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, and American Staffordshire Terrier are the breeds that fall under the heading of pit bulls. I’m pointing out this distinction because these are the breeds that are singled out as being “dangerous” by lawmakers and the media. Any mix would be a pit mix, not a pit. Yes it’s splitting hairs, but it’s bullshit like this that has every single dog that even looks sideways at a person slapped with the pit bull label.
Sorry, but this crap goes on in the media all the time and contributes to the myth that these are bad dogs. I’m going to leave it here, because this subject makes me genuinely angry. So I apologize if I’m incoherent, that’s just the rage talking.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 6:39 PM EDT up reply actions
"The dog was just bad"
Ummm, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH- you’re just a terrible owner. Treat your dog well, train it properly, and this isn’t an issue.
I HATE people who mistreat dogs
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
by MikeLew on May 16, 2011 6:52 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Exactly
No such thing as a bad dog, but no shortage of bad owners.
/I could go on, but I don’t want to have to clean more spittle off of the new laptop.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 7:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Agree with everything you said in the Nebulous lable comment.
I’m a big fan of the Pit Bull and hate that people chop their ears or tails off to make them look tough. I hate that they fight them. Pits are beautiful and friendly enough if left well enough alone.
The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother. John Wooden
Sorry for getting all pedantic up there
It’s just that you see so much misinformation spread about the breed if you really pay attention to news stories etc. I get a little fired up about it, but anyone who loves the breed for what they actually are and not as a thug accessory is ok in my book.

by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:44 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Oh love!
Looks so similar to my sis’s half american bulldog half pit mix. Same happy face, i get to take care of her this weekend!
That's my baby
Haven’t seen her in 6 months. My parents keep her when I travel for work (rental housing not easy to obtain with her). It was supposed to be temporary, but they love her so much that I doubt I’ll ever get her back. She’s really the only reason I go home. :-(
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Happy sweet pits are some of the best ever
Luckily her papers only say american bulldog, though she looks so much like a pit my sister is wary of getting evicted. She found a self owned rental property with a guy who doesn’t care, it is going to be really hard on her if she wants to move anywhere else in the city though.
I did get evicted once because of her
People just ignant. Well, that and liability bla bla bla. If I ever get over my fear of settling down somewhere and buy a house the first thing I’m doing is either stealing Matilda back from the ’rents or rescuing another pit.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Long pit eviction story
Back in the ville, my sister lived there for a year while i was still in college (FSU girl /theshame) I was taking care of the puppy for a couple of days when during the day on some weekday i was letting her out the back door to go to the bathroom. Of course she decided this time to run around to the front of the building. As i run out to get her some woman has grabbed her by the collar and held her for me while the puppy stood there wagging her tail as happy as can be. Not realizing she worked for the apartment management company and that my sister had been less than forth coming about the puppies breed i answered in the affirmative when she asked if she was part pit.
Cue ensuing shit storm of eviction threats my sister freaking out and blowing up at them etc. etc.
All of this of course one week after she had just resigned the lease for another year.
In the end my sister moved to another city for another job and i ended up taking over her lease.
In conclusion FUCK AMJ Inc.
Used to sneak tilly out at night
One time some dumb bitch has her dog off leash, it runs at us. Tilly (on the leash of course) freaks out (scared of other dogs, probably due to being used as a bait dog as a pup), stupid cow gets all indignant and notifies the apartment office that I have a vicious dog that “attacked” her dog (not so, I had her on a short leash and we left immediately, nothing happened). Luckily I was able to find a landlord who allowed dogs and didn’t inquire about the breed.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Tell me about liability...
The insurance on some of my rentals disallows pit bulls. I did have one tenant with a pit that was nothing but a giant puddin, so I warned him when he moved in that if anything ever happened, he had a mutt from the pound and nothing more. I’m a rescue owner myself, although for Bullmastiffs, not pits. Nothing against the breed, but I’m partial to Mastiffs, Danes, and Bullem’s. I’ve spent my entire life with dogs that weight over 100#, and I’ll trust my son with one of them before I’d trust a damn purse dog.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
My parents have my dogbaby too
I go home 4 wks from tomorrow! Can’t wait to see his face!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 9:04 PM EDT up reply actions
He's gonna be so excited!
Don’t dogs make you feel like a rock star? Tilly loses her shit when I come home, actually jumped up in my arms last time. 50# dog cannonball lol. Yeah, discipline is lax at grandpa’s house, I never allowed jumping.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:08 PM EDT up reply actions
OMG he's gonna pee pee
everywhere (without listening to Katy Perry) – he gets so excited he just loses it. I have to meet him in the back yard or the garage so my mom doesn’t lose it when he pees on the floor.
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 9:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, my pup is like that too...
and I’m only gone a few hours at a time. Fortunately she’s only 20 pounds, so I can deal with a little jumping. I tried to keep her from jumping, but the ex-roommate was not, and so she got spoiled
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
My first born son
is a 110# bullmastiff. Jumping is discouraged at my house for obvious reasons. He can put a hole in a fucking wall…with me.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
I originally wanted a bigger dog...
apartment rules said “nothing bigger than 20 pounds”. I love my little rescue mutt, and wouldn’t trade her for the world.
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
This is why I'm glad I do cats instead of dogs
Any qualms landlords may have tend to evaporate one-to-one with the yard’s mice population.
I'm allergic to cats, and have never been particularly fond of them...
In fact, I call the GF’s cat “Spam”, because, well, Monty Python.
My pup is a pretty good ratter herself(definitely some terrier in the mix).
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
I don't have size limits for my tenants,
only what the insurance company forces me to restrict. If a tenant says he has a dog that’s on the no-fly list, I meet the dog first and make a decision based on that. If the dog runs up to me as a stranger and licks my hand and begs for a belly rub, I’m cool. If the dog is on a metal chain for a leash, no dice.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
SEC-Big10 Challenge
In Melbourne, Australia.
First fan group to pass out from the drinking (Local Oz supporters included) loses.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
TWEET! NCAA violation.
Violation of amateur status means death penalty for Wisconsin Lutheran College.
Either love your players or get out of coaching.
In this regard I am ecumenical:
Sconnie Lutherans and Sconnie Catholics are both WAAAAAAAY out of amateur class when it comes to drankin.’
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I got recruited by Lutheran
They do not know how to party
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Oh, wait - this is an actual school and not general "Wisconsin Lutherans"?
I amend my earlier statement as follows:
Sconnie Lutherans I KNOW and Sconnie Catholics I KNOW are both…
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I don't know if Golden Hand was referring to the actual school
But Wisconsin Lutheran College is real and it did not have a reputation as a party school. It seems to break down as follows Wisconsin Lutherans = Norwegians; Wisconsin Catholics = Germans. Both are fond of the drink.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
And Wisconsin Lutheran is likely WELS,
which is a denomination that forbids the enjoyment of anything. They make the Missouri Synod look like a bunch of hippie libera——AWWWWW, HOLLY, IT’S DARK IN HERE AND I FUCKING HATE THE NEW PALMETTO BUGS!
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
WOOOOOO Denominational Smack Talk!
Good things there aren’t ANY issues like that in the Catholic Church :-P
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Palmetto bug closet...
Way more powerful threat than spider closet.
/shudders
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:50 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm sure it beats the hell out of Wheaton in Illinois or Messiah up north
Asks real hard Q’s about what you would do for a ring
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Only if we get to send LSU
They can play to a season long standstill. The Cajuns might be looking for a new home anyway.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 3:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I dream of a day when LSU and Wisconsin meet in a BCS bowl
Ideally one in a more neutral location that New Orleans. Whatever city it ends up in will be unprepared. Wisconsin fans, due to years of 11 am kickoffs will get the party rolling early. LSU fans, used to years of night games will keep the party rolling all night. Long story short, people never stop drinking.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
If Vegas had a stadium big enough, I would vote for there!
Best option with actual BCS Bowl is Miami.
/Pasadenasucks
by ApothecaryMark on May 16, 2011 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Still very upset the UT-VT racetrack game didn't go as planned.
My vote goes to the Pac-12 championship game being played on an 8-lane freeway in LA. I haven’t decided if I want traffic to be closed or not.
It’s much easier to picture one’s foes as evil and inhuman if you’ve never shared a pint glass full of bourbon, although this doesn’t apply to people from UofA because this premise assumes they’re people.
Is USC playing in it?
That should answer your question.
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Most LA commuters wouldn't notice.
A 4 hour delay on the 405? Pffftttt
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
Screw the Westside
I’m glad they get that shitty freeway.
/HancockParkrepresent
Watching peregrine falcons out office window > actually working
by marktgarten on May 16, 2011 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions
make SCLSU a real team
& have them host the Bourbon Bowl
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 2:43 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Paul Johnson vs. Mike Leach
With players selected recess-style from amongst any currently living human beings. Game to take place aboard the EDSBS Pirate Ship, conveniently docked off the shore of EDSBS Island.
I like to dream big.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
Muzzle loading muskets, hopefully.
It’ll put a premium on coordinated, disciplined line play.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Please...this is Miami.
Glock 19 with a 33rd magazine (held sideways gangsta-style…guaranteed to not hit a damn thing)
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
USF wants to play, too!!!!
guys?… guys?! GUYS!??
…anyone????
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire" - W. Churchill
"Stay out the way of the southern thing" - P. Hood
by TheDutchWonder on May 16, 2011 3:32 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Souf Florida? FIU sez not til you go thru us! We need a rematch!!
"Now, that’s what I’m talking about! You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don’t come into the OB playing that stuff. You’re across the ocean over there. You’re across the city. You can’t come over to our place talking noise like that. You’ll get your butt beat.
Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern
Rumor has it
that Mr. NGATHA and Mr. AHEMBE have contacted the Fiesta Bowl committee to give a special guest presentation on ethics in college athletics.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 2:46 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Whoever buys the biggest guns is right?
The SEC has been doing this for decades.

I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
by Joey C. on May 16, 2011 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Even Auburn gets one

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on May 16, 2011 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions 18 recs
wow
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions
not my work... yet
But I have the original, so we’ll see
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
THIS...I...IT...
GREEN’D.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 5:48 PM EDT up reply actions
burglar llamasaurus ftw
"the most important thing isn't the details. it's the magical atmosphere." Fat Charlie
by thetennesseethumper on May 16, 2011 9:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I laughed; I cried;
it was better than Cats.
"Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards." -- Ron Swanson
by thechuck_2112 on May 17, 2011 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions
My personal favorite would be Pitt vs Virginia Tech....
in the forests of Papua New Guinea. Losers get eaten by the local tribes.
"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." ~ Joseph Campbell
Long Pig, yummmmmm!
"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." ~ Joseph Campbell
by MtnEer_in_SC on May 16, 2011 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Mmmmm. The smoky, robust flavor
of Skoal.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Make it Notre Dame vs. Southern Cal
At the end of the game, in my book, we’re gonna be winners.

"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey, I'd already be a winner at the end of my scenario.
But, if you want to run a second game, I’m sure the locals would be up for it.
"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." ~ Joseph Campbell
by MtnEer_in_SC on May 16, 2011 3:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Purdue vs. Northwestern
On the moon.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
With the endzone right up against the wall of a crater?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
So we're just sending the NW team to the moon, then?
by vineyarddawg on May 16, 2011 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Pssh, like you can get people to the moon.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
The Purduers are already there.
/neilarmstrong’d
/genecernan’d
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
That's what they want you to think.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
From today's CI:

My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Buzz Aldrin is warmed back up and ready to casually respond to doubters again.
![]()
by purwho on May 16, 2011 3:26 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
But -- if you digitally enhance the "Fraud" photo
You can see PROOF it was taken on Earth:

Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 16, 2011 3:28 PM EDT up reply actions 10 recs
Rec'd
…but also 8-ball is known to have spent some time in space.
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire" - W. Churchill
"Stay out the way of the southern thing" - P. Hood
by TheDutchWonder on May 16, 2011 3:33 PM EDT up reply actions
No, no, no...
He’s Aldrin. How the hell’d you think he got the nickname “Buzz”?
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on May 17, 2011 12:08 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm just seeing how far I can rattle the cage.
FWIW, I think Buzz didn’t go far enough in dispensing justice.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Who vs. Northwestern?
If you’re going to make teams up, why not just request that they all play while mounted on unicorns in the gumdrop forest with elves for coaches?
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Elves can't coach! They install some fancy girlish passing offense.
We need stout dwarves who appreciate the beauty of a fullback dive!
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
LSU-Ole Miss on the Deck of the Natchez

Lame TV sportscaster could make riverboat gambler jokes WHILE EACH COACH IS IN FACT MAKING A RISKY DECISION ON A RIVERBOAT.
Also, If you start the game far enough up river, you could time it so that overtime starts when you pass Angola adding a whole new degree of difficulty.
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
by PodKATT on May 16, 2011 2:49 PM EDT reply actions 8 recs
How have Les Miles and Houston Nutt not teamed up to think of this already??
by vineyarddawg on May 16, 2011 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Riverboat gamblers don't team up
They double down
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
by AParker on May 16, 2011 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Pretty sure Les would reach down for some grass and fall in the river
Landing on a giant catfish as it leapt out of the water, and bouncing right back to where he started. Other team watches this, agog, while LSU scores an untouched TD.
Either love your players or get out of coaching.
by Golden Hand on May 16, 2011 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
It will only be worth it if Billy Cannon is included.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Bobby Hebert MUST do the play by play!
and have a large amount of likker at his disposal
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 2:58 PM EDT up reply actions
I nominate him "most likely to fall off the boat."
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
Can we make everyone dress up
as characters from Huck Finn?
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
I was thinking more like Maverick

Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
Will y'all think any less of me...
…if I say I actually liked the movie “Maverick” with Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster?
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
by Spartan D on May 16, 2011 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
/shiftyeyes.gif
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 3:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Was that fast? I thought that was fast.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Meh
I’m split on that. James Garner and the actual riverboat portion are all right, but the rest of that movie is pretty terrible.
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
Less?
I unabashedly love the “Maverick” movie, although I do think they went one twist too far. If the movie had ended with Maverick’s ace hitting the pile of chips, I think that would have been just about perfect.
But they had to set up the possible sequel!
“Gonna be a lot of fun gettin’ it back.”
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
He should have gotten a nine instead of an ace.
Thereby being wrong about being able to predict the next card in the deck, but still winning with a straight flush. Would have been a much better ending IMHO.
Editor, Voodoo Five, South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
Where'd he park the gold Camaro?
…and BOOMER!
by Billy Sims' Fro on May 17, 2011 4:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Ooooh, my favorite game! "Where's Musberger?"
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 5:28 PM EDT up reply actions
bellied up to the bar
of course.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions
A college football game at a non-traditional neutral site with a focus on charitable work to help extremely poor people.
What is, “NDNation’s worst nightmare,” Alex?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 2:51 PM EDT reply actions 8 recs
Only if said neutral site has a jumbotron.
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
FEEDING THEM ONLY ENCOURAGES THEM TO MULTIPLY
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
by Joey C. on May 16, 2011 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
AS IF WE NEED MORE POORS IN THIS WORLD.
I HAVE QUITE ENOUGH SERVANTS ALREADY.
by Erik T on May 16, 2011 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Wait, am I the only one who
read CONADEIP as CONADERP originally?
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Churchill
No, that was my first thought too.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Mutant League Football's space stadium can't be far off.
Twice the Gators (and twice the...er...me) at a fraction of the price...The Bull Gator and Alligator Army.
by The Bull Gator on May 16, 2011 2:51 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 2 recs
Futurama's Globetrotter episode...
“Ladies and gentlemen, something very strange has just occurred in this basketball match between space clowns and atomic monsters.”
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Does the Mexican team know...
…that this is American football? (or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof)
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
If Mexican football follows the logical progression from Canadian to American football...
… they play on a field 45 yards long, don’t have a scoring play that’s less than 3 points, and you have 5 downs to advance the ball.
by vineyarddawg on May 16, 2011 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
My brother
played for the school in Mexico City. Eligibility is all wierd down there. He was the 2nd string cornerback behind a 33 year old attorney. They’ve got rules about how many gringos each team can have as well.
"Some of my best friends are Alabama graduates" - Jay Coulter
by PantslessPatDye on May 16, 2011 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions
So you're saying I may still have eligibility in Mexico?
Time to dust off the old half-shirt practice jersey.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
Teams in Japan have the "only X number of gaijin" rule as well
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 4:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Alabama vs. Auburn
On the infield at Talladega. 200,000+ fans to set the record for attendance at a football game. Plus, the thought of watching Trent Richardson run through an RV gives me chills.
by Bamabrew22 on May 16, 2011 2:54 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
this actually sounds pretty doable
and fun!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
That actually does sound doable.
Scary. I do think it would be cool for Alabama to own half of the attendance record, we own all of the other ones.
by El Kabong!!! on May 16, 2011 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
This is the official record book
A quick CTRL+F search of Alabama reveals it is in the document 390 times. The same search for Notre Dame reveals 460
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Good point
Recent history suggests Alabama will gain more than ND going forward.
/Alabamadeserved’66NationalChampionship
by ApothecaryMark on May 16, 2011 8:22 PM EDT up reply actions
WITH A 500 MILE NASCAR RACE GOING ON AROUND IT.

FUCKIN’ AMERICA, Y’ALL.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 5:06 PM EDT up reply actions 9 recs
can't be
no braves hat anywhere in that picture
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Randy fucking Johnson?
HE’S ONE UH THEM REPUBLIK OF KALLYFORNEEYUH COMMIES, PAWWWL. I HEARD TELL HE WENT TO THAT OTHER YOU-ESS-SEE OUT THERE IN GOMMORAH, I MEAN LOS ANGELES.
Seriously, needs less Big Unit and more #3.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 16, 2011 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Um...
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 5:38 PM EDT up reply actions
yeah...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 5:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I think the mullett threw him off....
I was all like, Dale never had no got-danged mullet?
LOL WHUT?
That’s enough for today. whew.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Rec'd for awesomeness, although I believe the subtitle should be "America! Fuck Yeah!"
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I felt the "y'all" was required what with the footbaw and NASCAR and wrasslin' and guns and whatnot.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions
You are persuasive, sir.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Kentucky and Duke football
In a basketball arena. Until the fans figured out they weren’t actually playing shootyoops, it’d be the biggest crowd either team has seen in ages!
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
You could play Arena rules at Rupp
That would be a hell of a lot harder to pull off at Cameron.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
asked their opinion of the Kiliminjaro Bowl, locals reacted as appropriate

as small private school from Iowa plays a Mexican pick-up team in Tanzania…….BRILLIANT!!
Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern
I think we should just skip to the end
and get the Blood Bowl league started. Who cares about concussions when you have spiked shoulderpads?
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Churchill
You assume that Nike isn't already working on this somewhere in Cambodia.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions
/roadwarriors.jpg
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 3:00 PM EDT up reply actions
I want the Big Game on Alcatraz at night.
Losing team has to swim back to shore.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 3:00 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Isn't Cal rugby playing games on Treasure Island this year?
Halfway there. Also, if Cal Rugby is swimming home, I will take them over the sharks and lay the points.
/also over the Sharks
//LOLTEALHOCKEYWUT
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Who are they playing?
The Cal rugby team would probably not be swimming home.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm assuming they would do it anyway just out of sheer badassery
It’s got to be faster than waiting for traffic on the Bay Bridge…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
An important message for you
Hello, my name is Attorney Michel Nkuwanga, and I represent a rich American University named Purdue. My client deposited a football team in an account at Lagos Igbo National Bank in Lagos, Nigeria. Unfortunately, we have been unable to locate my client and soon, it will be declared missing. By Nigerian law, we are required to disperse the accounts of all deceased persons and entities, or ownership will revert to the state of Nigeria. If you would be so kind as to respond with your name, address, telephone number, bank account number and routing number, email address, date of birth, and social security number care of Mr. Christian Wasswa at this address, we can release this football team to you promptly.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 3:00 PM EDT reply actions 44 recs
Green in 3-2-1...
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions
/forwards to clemson
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 3:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Brilliant.
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire" - W. Churchill
"Stay out the way of the southern thing" - P. Hood
by TheDutchWonder on May 16, 2011 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Spelling
Too many words are correctly spelled.
by BamaFaninATL on May 16, 2011 3:41 PM EDT up reply actions
I think this is a trap.
I lost all my money to some school called “Purdue”.
by purwho on May 17, 2011 1:10 AM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Screw the Cotton Bowl and play the Red River Rivalry game
on a desolate field in Denton County. Players playing both ways and watching the ghosts of Wilkinson and Dana X walking the sidelines. Or better yet, on bridge spanning the Red River as Texas Rangers and Oklahoma National Guardsman eye each other from the opposing banks.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
Will they be trigger happy?
Please say they’ll be trigger happy.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 3:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh yeah.
The prize instead of the Red River is the winning team’s home state is allowed to annex the other for an entire year. That will turn the hate dial past eleven.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Kansas?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Arkansas?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Actually, a lot of gas and oil pipelines run through there...
And are now also telecommunication pipes.
I don't know which you're worse at: the guitar or sex.
by Chloe Denmark on May 16, 2011 5:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Telecommunication pipes?
Ted Stevens is intrigued.
by Peter Gray on May 16, 2011 6:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
/starts to make joke
//slumps to floor with knife in neck
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 6:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Good
let the hate flow through them.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 7:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Haiti?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Eleven?
Pbbtt. Alabama / Auburn turned that bitch past googleplex about ten years ago and broke the dial off.
by El Kabong!!! on May 16, 2011 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh sure...
… let’s give the Okies ANOTHER occasion to cheat and steal land.
They’d just roll the ball out 4 hours before kickoff, score once, and declare victory.
damn straight.
I don't know which you're worse at: the guitar or sex.
by Chloe Denmark on May 17, 2011 9:20 AM EDT up reply actions
That is the reason
for the Texas Rangers and Oklahoma National Guardsman staring each other down and having itchy trigger fingers.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 17, 2011 1:46 PM EDT up reply actions
GT versus Stanford...
…in the Indus River Shootout.
Actual game not to be played by human but rather by robotic creations.
by bo_w on May 16, 2011 3:09 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
In that case
Cal Tech vs. MIT would be the match-up I want to see.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Brigham Young vs The U outside of a whore house.
by fluffy_bunny_feet on May 16, 2011 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
AHEM....
… not neutral.
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire" - W. Churchill
"Stay out the way of the southern thing" - P. Hood
by TheDutchWonder on May 16, 2011 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions
The Las Vegas Bowl
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
The Hurricanes' mothers would all be able to attend, as it's close to work.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
by Spartan D on May 16, 2011 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
this goes here.

Much Inspirational...No pain, no pain....
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on May 16, 2011 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions
theres no middle ground.
The whores would either not be touched, and therefore broke.
OR
They would be raped. and still broke.
Its really just a lose/lose
Much Inspirational...No pain, no pain....
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on May 16, 2011 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm in for the
“I’m going to Hell for rec’ing that and I don’t care.” rec.
by El Kabong!!! on May 16, 2011 5:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Michigan vs. Ohio State...
…on the surface of the sun.
Losers get immolated. Winners get….immolated.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
by Spartan D on May 16, 2011 3:14 PM EDT reply actions 7 recs
Tell my wife...hello.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Your neutralness!
Its a beige alert!
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions
Tanzania?
Tanzania seems pretty tame. Why not stage a game in a truly savage, unforgiving locale where the drunken villagers catch, cook and eat any living thing encountered and tigers roam. Someplace like. . . Baton Rouge.
by SanDiegoDevil on May 16, 2011 3:24 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Giant floating field built on top of airboats tied together
Deep in the bayous of South Louisiana.
LSU vs. WVU (it’s a home-and-home with next year’s game played inside a mine in WfnVU).
Much easier to ignore the questionable quality of things that are covered in cheese.
Or just play in a pit of live alligators with 3 ft of water

The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions
really guys, they don't eat people
bite them maybe, but we’re too big for gators
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
These dead people
would like to disagree but they’re dead…
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 6:01 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
We like the tourists thinking they’re cuddly and lovable!
That way, it brings in the ecotourists AND the annoying ones just ‘disappear’!
by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on May 17, 2011 12:13 PM EDT up reply actions
I've always wanted to say this:
“I’m commandeering this football field”
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
by MikeLew on May 16, 2011 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Plenty of space for it now
The basin will be at high tide for a year or two now

/iweepformystate
/iamlookingforwardtothefishingthough
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
We ARE playing LSU inside a mine this year...
They just don’t know it yet.
"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." ~ Joseph Campbell
by MtnEer_in_SC on May 16, 2011 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Heyyyyyyy!
Ohhhhh!
Heeeeeeeeyyyyy!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 3:28 PM EDT up reply actions
BTW
I meant my comment with all affection — I can’t wait to go to a game there.
by SanDiegoDevil on May 16, 2011 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions
I know - I just
wanted to do the Italian guy thing… I miss games in BR soo bad! You will have an experience!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 3:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Went to one LSU game in college with a couple of friends
We got split up afterwards at some place with a huge theater screen in back showing the other SEC games, and lost each other in a huge crowd. We didn’t reunite for a couple hours. As we were finally wandering around together looking for the car, we started sharing stories. All three of us had managed to meet at least one LSU ladyfriend who was very friendly to guests. As guys will do, we start comparing notes to see who’d found the most attractive new friend. It was pretty funny to realize that my friends had ended up making out with the same hot brunette. It was much less funny to realize so had I.
We all agreed not to discuss the timeline, and never did.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions
EWWW!!!
Hehehe… are you sure it was just “making out”???
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, yes. We at least made that clear,
though there was only one in my group we were worried about. I think it is safe to assume this young lady (and likely married Sunday School teacher by now) was that one for her social group though.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on May 16, 2011 4:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Title goes here to avoid banhammer
![]()
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I thought you were gonna go with East County...
…but Baton Rouge is a good choice.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
On the top of a strip mined mountain
Plus side: It can be used to raise awareness of all the damage that causes.
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
The Black Lung Disease Bowl?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 3:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Done
They’ve already played in Huntington.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on May 16, 2011 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
auto-rec
"Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards." -- Ron Swanson
by thechuck_2112 on May 16, 2011 3:57 PM EDT up reply actions
Twice!!!!
I hope to hell we don’t have to make any more trips to the Joan, until MU doubles its size.
/hahahahaha, never ever happening
"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." ~ Joseph Campbell
by MtnEer_in_SC on May 16, 2011 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions
and we all know
dirty West Virginia strip club parking lot = Huntington
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Ole Miss/Miss. State
In a KFC during Sunday buffet.
/notasgoodaseveryoneelse’s
//Mississippi-is-fat-joke’d
And here's a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam!
Fuck that. Clearly, it should be at the Golden Corral
ALL THE INFERIOR QUALITY FROZEN COD? All. The. Inferior. Quality. Frozen. Cod.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions
play it in a catfish farm pond
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 3:43 PM EDT up reply actions
The No One Here Gets Out Alive Bowl
Clemson vs. Purdue. Paris, France. Clemson wins Five to One, which many find incredible, as Clemson has given up a point to a non-existent opponent. Chants of “Fuck Clemson!!!” fill the land, as they parade through he city carrying the chunk of Jim Morrison’s gravestone awarded as the “winner’s” trophy (which all but Clemson know is also non existent).
by sirtweak on May 16, 2011 3:35 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Two teams enter!
One team leaves!
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions
joe mather starting again for the braves tonight....

Much Inspirational...No pain, no pain....
The Twitter Haz Me - JdotLeazy
by Lt. Philip Nolan on May 16, 2011 3:46 PM EDT reply actions
Hi, you're new here.
BASEBALL GOES IN OTHER PLACES. And welcome!
________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.
by Holly Anderson on May 16, 2011 4:53 PM EDT up reply actions
BUT WUT ABOUT
![]()
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on May 16, 2011 5:05 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
and I'll be watching it while doing work (YAY NEW BOSSES WHO HAVE SOMEWHAT UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS THAT I WILL STILL TOTALLY FILL)
I’ll wrangle up a fanpost i guess
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
RAINBOW VICTORY BEAST.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions
I have.... plans for this animal once the real season starts
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
title

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on May 16, 2011 5:25 PM EDT up reply actions 8 recs
Dammit, you should know better
than to get him that close to ACS.
Drinkin' my whiskey clear since 2005.
Now available via Twitter.
by The Missing T on May 16, 2011 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
wtf ACS it was a happy victory beast
why did you have to burn it
by Irishjugg on May 16, 2011 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I JUST GAVE IT A HUG!
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I'm less afraid of the fire and more afraid of the teeth.
I don't know which you're worse at: the guitar or sex.
by Chloe Denmark on May 16, 2011 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions
It's as if Turdbeast grew legs.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions
I see your rainbow Llama and raise you

by Board Certified Scrotologist on May 16, 2011 5:50 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
FIN

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on May 16, 2011 6:17 PM EDT up reply actions 10 recs
got the winzzorz tonight too
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
yezzir!
Joe Mather justified his existence (for now)!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Best protect ya neck, son
‘Cuz you fixin’ to get Stabby’d.
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
this is what we use twitter for, remember?
SEE ACS, YOU SHOULD JOIN
/there ya go, Bourbz
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Years ago . . .
. . . when holding a neutral site MAC title game was still a hotly debated issue, I offered to host the game in my hometown in northwest Ohio, with the cornfleld adjacent to the football stadium to be reserved for overnight camping and tailgating and all the local churches to take turns holding “frys” and carry-in dinners to feed everyone for the weekend in between road trips into Lima to the Kewpee.
I’d still go home to do that.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
What's the name of the pizza place in Lima that does the really huge pies?
I remember having to order something like 12 pizzas from them, to feed an entire baseball team when I worked for a summer collegiate league. Supposedly it was “Lima’s Best”, but it was pretty greasy and nasty, especially with a 2 hour bus ride to follow
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
I honestly don't know . . .
. . . since (a) I haven’t lived in the Homeland since 1984 and (b) I grew up about 20 miles away from Lima. There were two pizza places in my hometown — one was in the local carryout — and both used pre-made frozen crusts. Needless to say, that aspect of my life improved a lot once I got to Miami.
I gather you were up there to play the Locos. I used to swear I was going to buy my dad a partnership interest in the team (not that much $$$) just for the hell of it once I got my law school loans paid off, but he passed away way too young, and I didn’t get the chance.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Yep, playing the Locos...
worked for the (now defunct) Columbus All Americans. The Locos were a fun atmosphere, but the field they played on sucked major ass.
I’m sorry you never got to do that for your dad- sounds like you guys had a great relationship, though.
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
The Entire SEC opening weekend at the Sambadrome in Rio de Janeiro
The stadium is 700 meters long, so all six games are played simultaneously on six fields placed back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back, with large temporary end zone seating at each end. The hosts provide halftime entertainment. Nirvana is watching from the grandstands high above the middle two end zones as everyone drinks so many caipirinhas that Brazil completely runs out of cachaca.

by Ardbeg on May 16, 2011 4:10 PM EDT reply actions 9 recs
... we have a winner.
________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.
by Holly Anderson on May 16, 2011 4:54 PM EDT up reply actions
What games?
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
huh
waht? I wasn’t paying attention
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Okay, but can I sit somewhere that has a pillar or girder blocking my view of the Vandy game?
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
Funny story
was in Boston a few years ago and went with some friends to a Boston Symphony Orchestra concert. We lined up for rush tickets and the ticket that was sold to me was behind a column. Thankfully there was another seat that was available. There are four seats in that hall where people get screwed and they still sell them. Bastards!
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 7:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Love the sign on top of Killamanjaro

by Board Certified Scrotologist on May 16, 2011 4:25 PM EDT reply actions 11 recs
??

Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on May 16, 2011 4:28 PM EDT up reply actions 9 recs
Auto rec. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
From the That Can't Be True Oh My God It Is Department
Just heard on radio @ladygaga has over 10 million followers. Congrats. Working to increase my number.
NDNation just died of boneitis.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 4:26 PM EDT reply actions
They're going to die of a collective aneurism
When they hear she’s going to be the halftime act for the season opener.
http://twitter.com/#!/emc503
I am sure there is not a lot of crossover betwenn both fanbases.
So we can take them down and not diminish our number.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions
BUT WHO WILL ENGINEER YOUR MORTGAGES, READ YOUR CONTRACTS, AND BUY YOUR TOTALLY UNNECESSARY THIRD MICROWAVES?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
THEN YOU PROBABLY NEVER LEAVE THE TOILET ANYWAY
/open wrapper, place directly in toilet
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 5:14 PM EDT up reply actions
HOOOOTTTTT POCKETS.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 5:16 PM EDT up reply actions
everything will taste like cardboard for a week
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 8:35 PM EDT up reply actions
What the hell is a microwave?
I have not owned one of those since fall of 1993. But I currently do not own a television (sold it when I moved and will purchase a new one in August) and have only subscribe to cable during the college football season.
Cal fan and day laborer librarian for Stanford. Yeah, I'm screwed.
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on May 16, 2011 7:23 PM EDT up reply actions
The Alien vs. Predator Bowl
“Because no matter who wins, we lose.”
Participants:
THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY OF OHIO… STATE
vs.
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (BROUGHT TO YOU BY MERCEDES-BENZ)
Site:
Tel Megiddo, Israel

Gift Package Contents:
-Fire
-Brimstone
-Ash
-The Horrible, Agonized Shrieking of 100,000 of College Football’s Most Obnoxious Fans
-$25 iTunes Gift Certificate
by Whohah on May 16, 2011 4:27 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
NEEDZ MOAR GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS
such a weird ass painting
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I'd welcome another shot at those bastards.
Tressel cost us that game in the ’Shoe. Serious comment is serious
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
by broski on May 16, 2011 4:44 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
you would paste this version. As deluded an ND fan as I am, I'm not gonna say that we're half as good as OSU
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Texas got jobbed out of an invite to this bowl.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on May 16, 2011 5:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Auburn's 7-on-7 offense vs. the All Blacks
We’ll invent Austro-Canadian football just for the occasion.
by This Original Guy on May 16, 2011 5:29 PM EDT reply actions
From that article:
The majority of teams in this league are from the Tec de Monterrey (ITESM) campuses scattered across the country, whose members have captured 10 of the past 11 National Championships at the collegiate level.
I-T-E-S-M Speed just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
by Cardfanintherock on May 16, 2011 5:37 PM EDT reply actions
So do they only play other colleges? OR do they play semi-pro teams as well?
In Japan there’s a college league, and a pro (ha ha yeah) league, and then the winner of each league meets up in the (I kid you not) Rice Bowl.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Not sure about ITESM but I checked the wiki page for the Rice Bowl and the team names alone are amazing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rice_Bowl
Kyoto University Gangsters
Onward Skylarks
Asahi Beer Silver Star
Asahi Soft Drink Challengers
that also led me to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-League
There are two types of teams, one being a company-team which only employees of that particular sponsoring company may participate as a player, and the other classified as a club-team for which anyone can tryout.
So does this mean that Bob from accounting plays on the team or does it just mean that the compnay has hired that person for the express purpose of playing.
by Cardfanintherock on May 16, 2011 5:48 PM EDT up reply actions
It means that they hire someone (likely who just graduated from Kyoto University or wherever and played on that team)
and give them a position in accounting to make them eligible.
On the names, my wife and I had a soft spot for the Kajima Deers. The way they throw that “s” on there incorrectly, just seems perfect.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 5:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Hmmm...
It means that theyhireadmit someone (likely who just graduated fromKyoto University or whereverhigh school and played on that team) and give them apositionmajor inaccountingexercise science to make them eligible.
So…no different than college football?
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on May 17, 2011 9:40 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, pretty much
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 17, 2011 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Is too obvious?
Purdoo vs F Clemson at Commonwealth Stadium: because none of these things exist?
The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother. John Wooden
Just got dumped via email
Only one thing to do at a time like this: get absurdly drunk, on the roof. Have beer, whiskey and ghetto blaster.
Lame
The dumping method that is. The upside of being dumped in a tacky fashion is that it gives you another reason to hate the person. Channel this hate into healing. Also, don’t jump off the roof.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 7:10 PM EDT up reply actions
I've jumped off the roof several times before and lived to tell about it, so that's not much of a risk
In that case
try not to fall off the roof. Less control when you land, greater likelihood of compounding shitty evening with ER visit, etc.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 7:20 PM EDT up reply actions
WHORE DOESN
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
wow that was a fail
DOESN’T DESERVE YOU. e-mail is pretty cold and stupid
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I bet if I were to track down the super crazy ex girlfriend
She might think we were still going out. She threw a piping hot, fresh out of the oven pan of lasagna at my head. I walked out the door, without saying a word, and never spoke to her again.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
You have only one super crazy ex?
/Am I doing it wrong?
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Tis all relative
THE super crazy ex, means the craziest of the crazies. I’m marrying a woman who was recently arrested following a bar fight. You can say I’m attracted to the fiery ones
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Ahhh, I see...
and I understand, I am also attracted to the wilder ones…they aren’t lying when they talk about the redheads
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Hey now
Does it count if the red comes out of a bottle?
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions
The further a woman dyes her hair from it's natural color
The crazier she is
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
by stempke on May 16, 2011 8:27 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
My wife recently went to get her hair dyed
was hoping for a bright red. It turned out that since it was her first time, the salon went tame and she came out a little lighter brown with some highlights. She was pissed, and is now talking about going to another salon and telling them to turn her hair anime blue, since there’s no way they could tone that down on her.
/lurve
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Bo-ring
That’s why I do mine at home. Can’t get the salon to understand that I mean cartoon-character red.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:43 PM EDT up reply actions
I do like that, but I like this shade more:
![]()
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
YES!!!
I’ve actually toned it down somewhat. People do need to trust me to care for their critically sick infants after all. I’m actually closer to the pic below, makes more sense with my unbelievable pasty whiteness too.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Er
Pic above I mean. The one MikeLew posted. Stupid reply shuffling.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Pasty white skin is the only way to go for Redheads.
The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother. John Wooden
Is that the Paramour chick?
The bus boys got all excited last year when she posted a topless pic of herself on twitter.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
It wasn't a very "exciting" picture.
And I’ll stop there.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
You're talking about 15-16 year olds.... bewbs are very exciting
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Yep, that's her...
though topless doesn’t show off her best feature
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
That's close to what my wife was going for
I think her quote was “like Jennifer Garner in Alias”
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 9:57 PM EDT up reply actions
It's a different kind of wild, but yes.
It seems as though I like it all the same, though
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Those who choose to be red
Choose to be noticed.
WOOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT ME!!!
[flashes tits so DJ will play “Don’t Stop Believin’”]
/haha I’m kidding
//or am I?…
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Can I tell you a secret
He was going to play it anyway
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
/sound of balloon deflating
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions
NO WAY
I feel fucking betrayed man
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions
In about 50 or 60 years
when my wife and I tire of each other, promise me we can go on a date.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
Done.
I shall set a reminder on my phone.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 10:09 PM EDT up reply actions
I had an ex like that
Minus the lasagna throwing. I kept breaking up with him and he kept showing back up like it never happened. I even moved and didn’t give him my new address and he kept calling to chat. He eventually moved back to Florida. He was a Gator fan, that should have been the first red flag…
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Haha, I had one like that...
“We just had a little fight.”
“No, I said ’I’m done.’ That means with all of this.”
“But it was just a fight.”
“No, stop calling me, never ever, EVER again. And leave my roommates alone, too, you [CURSE WORDS I MADE UP I WAS SO ANGRY I DON’T REMEMBER THEM, BUT 10 MINUTES WORTH.”
“I thought it was just a fight.”
[Click, Ignored 23 calls that night, and 12 more the next day]
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
I think this guy's deal
was that he was a Doctor. Don’t get me wrong, I know lots of cool doctors who aren’t arrogant shitbags. He was not one of them. I think that he genuinely couldn’t believe that I would break up with him because he was a Doctor and I was just a nurse.
/what a tool
//almost wish we’d kept in touch so I could have wallowed in his misery this past season. Almost.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:35 PM EDT up reply actions
I think I mean revel
not wallow.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:36 PM EDT up reply actions
It's schadenfreude, which is not one of the more becoming of human emotions.
“Wallow” is probably a more accurate verb to use. I speak from much personal experience.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
Becoming? No.
Enjoyable at some level? Absolutely…mostly in private
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
by MikeLew on May 16, 2011 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
wallow |ˈwälō| - verb [ intrans. ]
(chiefly of large mammals) roll about or lie relaxed in mud or water, esp. to keep cool, avoid biting insects, or spread scent
Pretty close.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions
"chiefly of large mammals"
What are you trying to say?
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Either way...
Schadenfreude and college football are kind of inseparable.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Just a Doctor
but not a Board Certified Scrotologist.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on May 16, 2011 9:28 PM EDT up reply actions
That's debatable
He was certainly a board certified dickbag
/ER doc actually
//they’re almost as undateable as surgeons
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:46 PM EDT up reply actions
I gotta ask
are you really a reproductive duct doctor? Because I just made the call to schedule a consultation for a vasectomy, and I’m petrified. This in your lane?
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Frozen peas.
Get many bags of them and switch them out every 10 minutes. Do not eat them afterwards.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
Don't get Birds-Eye Brand either
Last thing you want is some bird staring at your sack.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on May 16, 2011 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Can you do anything about a narrow urethra?
/hankhill’d
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:00 AM EDT up reply actions
No
But it’s a good joke.
by Board Certified Scrotologist on May 16, 2011 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Ah, nuts
/pun completely intended
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 17, 2011 2:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Schedule it for the Thursday or Friday of the first weekend of the NCAA hoops tournament
You’re gonna be laying on the couch (cuddling with frozen peas) for a couple days, so might as well have some good ball to watch.
/speaks from experience
And when the doc tells you to shave, make sure you shave everything clean. He hits any spots you missed with a crappy little Bic facechopper – a guy holding a razor to your coinpurse is not a comfortable position to be in
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
Good advice on the shaving
but looking to get this done a bit sooner than next March. I’ll just have to settle for movies or something.
/stickball season…sigh.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 17, 2011 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Ugh, what a bitch move...
For me, that requires some sort of revenge…this may be why I’m not friendly with any of my exes, though
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Same here
“We can still be friends!”
Ummm, no. You’re dead to me now. Bye.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 7:22 PM EDT up reply actions
It's like he never existed...
Or are you going for the Vegas connection?
/You’ll have to excuse me, my familiarity with the Godfather is rusty at best
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 7:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Quoth Michael Corelone
Fredo, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not a brother, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do. I don’t want to see you at the hotels, I don’t want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be there. You understand?
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Capisco
That pretty much sums it up
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 9:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, if that isn't the definition of vindictive, I'm not sure what is!
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 9:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Ah, so you're the vindictive one!
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions
dot eee deee yeeewwww!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 7:55 PM EDT up reply actions
That was mostly for MikeLew
since he responded to the story…
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 8:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Doesn't change the fact
that it’s a hilarious ex story
;-)
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Also I totes agree
with the “you’re dead to me now” thang. I usually go on a picture deleting, house cleaning spree after each breakup.
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 8:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes very therapeutic
I like to fire up the grill and throw the flammable stuff on there.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions
ooh, this.
enjoyable getting play by play info from a 3rd party.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 9:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, I don't even want that.
An ex I was with for 3 years ended up getting married 6 months after we broke up my sophomore year of college.
At age 20.
I dodged a got-damn bullet.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
whew, i'd say so!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Before I moved out here
I had only been to Vegas once, exactly 10 years earlier with my boyfriend and his family. We came frighteningly close to getting married at the Luxor, but couldn’t get away from his folks.
/was only 18
//best thing I never did
///walked by that wedding chapel a few weeks ago, a wave of relief washed over me…
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 10:33 PM EDT up reply actions
I think . . .
. . . that I am very happy to have made it through my dating days and got married before Facebook. I was bad enough at social graces pre-internet.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on May 16, 2011 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions 8 recs
My kids aren't *quite* dating age yet . . .
. . . but I’m already worried about it.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
We're doing beta-testing with my wife's nephew, who is a teen
her sister monitors his activities through my wife’s facebook account (my wife friended him, and then reports when he posts). I have to say, I think I might want my kids on Facebook. They’re too stupid at that age to hide stuff well enough. They have to talk about it. We see all kinds of stuff from this kid…posts of “at the movies with my honey” when he told his mom he’d be studying over at someone else’s house, etc. It’s self-reported electronic monitoring, and the kids just can’t help themselves.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions
To be fair
this kid has issues I won’t go into, but our kids will not have. But still, the “hey world look at me and what I’m having for breakfast and where I am right this second” lifestyle these things create is addictive, and kids can’t stop.
Me? I’ve been overseas too long to want anything that broadcasts where I am at any given moment. It’s either “oh, hey, I’m at the movies” = we know where to come get you, or we know you’re gone for 2 hours and have that long to rob your house. Screw that.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions
You know what would be really funny
If someone were to rob my house because they knew I was gone, only to be met by two rottweilers who (to borrow a phrase from the entrance of a WWF tag team) “weigh in at a combined” 300 lbs or so….. oh wait…. that happened
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
by stempke on May 16, 2011 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
How could you even tell
I would’ve figured they wouldn’t leave anything behind to indicate a person had been there.
Bloodstains
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions
because the kid locked himself in the bathroom and waited for the cops
He was missing a chunk of his upper hamstring.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Not as of yet
I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole
Based on your commentary here
I’d think you’d post stuff like "Oh, going to be out at XX for the next five hours….really wish the locksmith had come to fix my door, can’t lock it up. Oh well, nothing will happen…
Just to see the hijinx that would ensue.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:30 PM EDT up reply actions
It's kinda sorta in the comments
I was still sorta fuzzy about the details at the time of writing
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Hey! We DID beat Utah! WOW!!!
How’d that thing with your fiancee’s friend end up?
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm planning on implanting a GPS chip on my daughter when she hits 13.
Heute, Ich bin ein Kreuzschlüssel.
Not entirely . . .
. . . but the idea that all your teenage fuckups are now recorded electronically and broadcast doesn’t help matters.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
My daughter is 9 months old
and I’m already worried about it
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
10,000 times.
I mean, yes I met Mrs. Import thanks to the Internet, but we didn’t have the Face Books and the My Space and the eight base on the first date on the You Tubes and the flarng flang…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:47 PM EDT up reply actions
If more of you were older, this would be green already.
Sweet leaping Mary, I was a moron in college. Couple that with internet access and I might have ended up in jail for stalking.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
Properly greened by someone at the ripe old age of 26
I can’t imagine having had facebook/etc in the dorms. Literally, I cannot wrap my head around it.
I didn't have ethernet to my on-campus residence until year 3 of grad school...
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Ethernet wasn't invented until I was out of college
Well, available commercially — close enough.
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions
I was only in the dorms for a year.
Literally didn’t exist when I was there.
Also, we had GODDAMNED LAND-LINES IN EACH DORM-ROOM, you fucking whipper-snappers.
/think I was the last year for that one
we had them up until I graduated
still do I think
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
That is still fantastic...
I don’t often get into arguments- I just go outside for a nice long run, until I’m ready to speak rationally and not yell. Apparently, I am quite scary when I get really mad, because it doesn’t happen often
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
extremely off topic
but the Tribe just hung 14 runs on one pitcher in 2-1/3. GOTDAMN
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Been watching on the other side of the computer screen
only the 3rd time in baseball history a guy’s given up 14 in one outing…must have done something awful to the pitching coach’s wife
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Jesus. musta had 'flu-like symtoms' (hangover).
get out there. youre staying for 50 pitches. Get.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:14 PM EDT up reply actions
haha, yep!
‘you gonna earn your roster spot tonight.’
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions
More like
Fuck it, we’re already down 10, might as well save the bullpen as much as possible
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
bad thing is, it was 3-1 in the 3rd when he came in.
got pulled @ 17-1 in the 5th. oof.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions
THREW 77 PITCHES IN 2-1/3
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions
At times like these . . .
. . . I always recommend listening to Sam Kinison’s “Love Song.” I’m not gonna lie — it may have saved my life one time when I was young and dumb.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
That sucks, dude
Pretty much the same thing happened to me this past Friday, except by Facebook message. Your course of action seems very reasonable. If we were in the same state, I’d come up and roof drink with you.
/no homo
Here you go

毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 7:52 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
My advice to you
is to start drinking heavily.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
I thought he was pre-law
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions
What's the difference?
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 10:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Umm...
/notsureifserious.jpg
//linktoAnimalHouseonIMDB
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 10:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Wow, did I really forget a rejoiner from Animal House
And accuse you basically of same?
/goes to palmetto-bug closet
NO PICTURES PLEASE
I forget things as well. 22 going on 50. Had a good work day Friday and celebrated at the bar with a Johnnie Walker Black – my friends made old jokes all night. At first I told them to fuck off, but then I told them nothing #scotchcoma
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions
hwy are are you saying hwat so strange?
hwat are you talking about?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:23 PM EDT up reply actions
IVE BEEN DRINKIN GREEN TEA ALL GOTDAMN DAY WAITIN FOR THIS MOMENT, OLD MAN
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:32 PM EDT up reply actions
/bashes guy with road cone
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:34 PM EDT up reply actions
THIS IS MY HAT NOW
TOTALLY MY HAT
/seriously underrated movie
/Isla Fischer is really hot
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
by stempke on May 16, 2011 11:39 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
You were right, Denise.
Taco always wins.
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions
No! I'm the only one who parties!
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 11:48 PM EDT up reply actions
HWAET!!
Oh wait, are we not doing Old English tonight?
(waits for it…)
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:26 PM EDT up reply actions
I thought that was Beowulf, not the Canterbury Tales.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Oh, also.
For a limited time only, my…services…are available free of charge.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 8:15 PM EDT up reply actions
IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE
The message I can deal with. The medium however, is some fucked up, classless shit.
/writes list of terrible things about people from Philly
//clicks cancel
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Because unless I've gotten my wires crossed, Mango was in a pretty serious relationship with this girl
and he likely still has strong feelings for her. The last thing he needs is some jackass he’s never met talking shit about her, no matter how pissed off he is right now.
Now if Mango and I were friends, I’d be up on that roof with him right now running down the list. Then when we were good and hammered, we’d go to a strip club and/or college bar. The night would end in one of two ways, he’d either go home with some pretty young thing, or he’d get to punch someone.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
by stempke on May 16, 2011 9:34 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I always had a feeling we'd get along in person...
but now I’m absolutely sure of it
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Like I said, I'm not terribly pissed about the message, it's just that the way it was presented was unexpectedly crass and classless (I.E. the kind of thing I'd expect from my relatives, not most of the girls I've dated)
Being in a long distance relationship for a year plus isn’t easy. This kind of thing was bound to happen with anyone, just a matter of different goals and aspirations.
Sadly, I’ve never actually been to a strip club and I’m not sure if I can rally people on a monday.
DENIZENS OF THE TWIN CITIES
THIS IS A MAN IN NEED
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
We need a spreadsheet for things and stuff.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions
I've never actually been to a strip club here either.
Seriously though, it’s getting to the point where there needs to be some WI/MN-level group drankin’ this summer.
Wha? How is this possible?
How is this not a guaranteed stop on the 18/21 birthday “Go ahead a check my ID” tour?
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
The have strip clubs in Oregon and/or Arizona as well
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
hell, even the Alassippi Territory has them
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:24 PM EDT up reply actions
/self reply
//makes no claim towards the relative quality of aforementioned ‘clubs’
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 10:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Strictly speaking, I said 'here'
But both 18 and 21 I had vaguely serious girlfriends that supplied me with all the viewables necessary. I don’t have any moral qualms about them, I’ve just never found occasion or desire.
Blame the internet, maybe. Small sample size, but the idea of paying for boobs doesn’t really resonate with a lot of my friends and colleagues.
It's not really about the nudity, although that is awesome, in all honesty
It’s about having beautiful women beg you for attention, which is exactly what a man going through a break up or a serious slump needs.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
This is the appeal of hostess clubs for Japanese men
which I simultaneously find insanely stupid, yet understandable.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Sir, your passport has 14 stamps from Canada in a week
AND? WHATS YOUR POINT?
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
I CAN'T HELP IT
CANADIAN TWENTIES LOOK LIKE “REDEEMABLE FOR ONE (1) LAP DANCE” TICKETS. THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE. THAT’S WHAT’VE ALWAYS BEEN.
Do you make it hail
/canadianmoneyLULZ
by DC Gator on May 16, 2011 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
No dollar bills if you get your money changed to canadian
You a bunch of change /hail
A friend of a friend has a story about going across the river in detroit and getting change and not realizing this.
No, I get it
I keep American singles, but generally have to use an ATM at some point to keep feeding my vices.
The sad thing is . . .
. . . that the USD has depreciated so much that Canadian strippers now throw them back.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I guess stripping in Canada would be dangerous
No dollah dollah bills up there.

Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
That could lead to problems
The good kind of problems but problems nonetheless.
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
It ain't random
It’s for blind people to be able to tell the difference in denominations
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Oh, I know the reasoning. 'Random' it obviously is not.
I gladly put up with multi-sized coins (and the ribbed edges), but multi-sized bills are anathema.
I didn’t say it was rational.
Sorry, the increasingly incorrect usage of the term "random"
amongst kids these days annoys the shit out of me.
/begin rant
The people you met at that party were not random, they were college kids at a house party, a perfectly predictable outcome. The things your friend said were not random. They were the idiotic ramblings of an idiot, again perfectly predictable.
/end rant
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Only really gets to me in technical writing.
Now, talk about singular-the data and we’re going to have a problem.
XXXXXX uploaded a new facebook album titled "random pixx"
Oh look at that, it’s clearly one group of photos from ONE party this past weekend. It’s actually not random at all, you fucking dunderpate. I BET IT’S IRONIC TOO LOLOL AMIRITE???
For a minute
I thought you were talking about some porn site having a facebook page and uploading pics to it…so confused.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, I gotcha as soon as I read further
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Candi
guh
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
McPotatopants
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
GRITTY
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:11 PM EDT up reply actions
wait wait wait wait--
you went to NOTRE DAME, same time as me, and are bothered by the over-usage of the term RANDOM?!?! How did you not become immune to that?
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Simple
I didn’t hang out with people I didn’t like. Got me labeled an asshole by a lot of people, but saved me a ton of stress. Plus with the band, I was never short of excuses if I didn’t want to go to your stupid party.
/can’t go, gotta practice
//goes to other party instead
///gets caught
////doesn’t bother to make up further excuse
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
I don't think I hung out with too many people I didn't like
but we were busy making fun of other people who used “RANDOM” every third word.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions
I didn't even really bother making fun of them
I just didn’t talk to them. I was really kind of a dick back then to people that weren’t in my inner circle.
I think I was going for “conflicted artist” and just came off as an asshole.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
You must not be a programmer.
Among them, “random” very frequently means “deterministic but arbitrary” or indicates that the details beyond that point are unimportant (“going to some random management conference” generally indicating that said conference is functionally interchangeable with others).
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
And Japan
500 yen coins (about $5, or actually closer to 4 these days) are the largest coin. First bill is at 1000 yen, or about $9. I hated coming back and having all these darn $1 bills. Blech.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions
$2 coins are the shit
“Damn I’m broke.”
[dumps out coin purse, empties pockets]
“Nevermind, I’ve got $28, let’s go drinking!”
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 10:43 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I think grayshirted is using these . . . .
![]()
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on May 16, 2011 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm not, mostly because coming back to the States most exchanges won't change back coins
More euros than I know what do with.
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions
I've only been in a strip club once
and it was a shitty DC one with my sister to grab her friends to go drink
/awwwkwardddd
Ugh, long distance does suck. I am sorry for you, and were I in a driveable distance, we would be drinking the liquors
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
"My favorite play is Dave. It involves a long pull, deep penetration, and pure power." -Jim Tressel
Strip clubs be overrated, brah.
The cocktail waitresses are by far the best part. The strippers are barely aware that you, personally, exist.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
Incorrect
It is very easy to take home a stripper, if you were so inclined. It’s a two step process. 1) Have money to spend, you don’t have to be a high roller, but you can’t be broke either. 2) Treat the strippers like a normal person. Just because your paying her to take off her clothes doesn’t mean you should treat her like shit.
Seriously, these girls, the ones that aren’t lesbians (and BTW a lot of strippers are), see the absolute worst of the male half of our species on a daily basis. They often are all sorts of fucked up, with serious trust/daddy issues. Be a decent human being and treat her like you would a girl in a bar, and you too, can take a stripper home.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
I'm not talking about taking them home.
I’m talking about the fact that half the ones in the strip club I went to were on some kind of drugs, and literally were not aware of where they were.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
HEY SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE STRIPPERS

STEMPKE’S RIGHT SOME OF THESE GIRLS HAVE JUST HAD SOME REALLY BAD EXPERIENCES WITH MEN BUT IF YOU GET TO KNOW THEM THEY REALLY LIKE TO PARTY ONE TIME I WAS HANGING OUT WITH SOME OF MY FRIENDS AND THEY TRIED TO GET ME TO STRIP TOO AND I WAS LIKE WELL SURE I CAN GET UP ON STAGE AND DANCE WITH YOU AND I SUPPOSE WE ARE ALL NAKED BENEATH OUR FUR BUT THIS IS LIKE MY SKIN MAN AND I JUST CAN’T PULL IT OFF BUT I CAN GET UP THERE WITH YOU AND WIGGLE MY TAIL SO EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL AND THEN THE GIRLS FOUND SOME GUYS TO GIVE US SOME OF THAT “GRATED PARMESIAN” I WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS MORNING AND WE STAYED UP DANCING FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on May 16, 2011 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
strippers??

" Every Christmas my Mom would get a fresh goose, for gooseburgers, and my Dad would whip up his special eggnog out of bourbon and ice cubes. "
by alex henery's foot on May 17, 2011 1:21 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Fair enough
if there is ever another opportunity to share please do, i’ll listen with rapt attention to your every word.
Bitches, man.
Bitches.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
by broski on May 16, 2011 9:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
COLLEGE FOOTBAW MOVIE BOWL
Eastern State University Wolfpack (The Program) vs. the Texas State University Fightin’ Armadillos. (Necessary Roughness) In Hollywood, of course.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
They're in the other semifinal against Minnesota State
If we get to design this, let’s have a freakin’ playoff.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I was gonna include the Louisiana Cougars, too,
but couldn’t think of any more imaginary schools to put in the playoffs. [insert Purdue joke here]
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I still think of it them as Mankato State and Moorhead State . . .
. . . but my only interaction up that way is with Concordia College.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
GO, COBBERS!
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
Go Cobbers!
It’s the only college I know of that has a community “corn feed” during the first week of school so that townies can come welcome the new students.
(N.B.: My Concordia connection is the language villages for the DCs.)
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
My first congregation was about 85 miles south of Fargo/Moorhead, straight down Hwy 59 from Fergus Falls.
Our Synod offices were at Concordia and I almost applied for their campus pastor position when it came open. Used to go up to the Finish village for Synod stuff in the winter all the time – LOVE Bemidji and the whole north country. Ran the Fargo Marathon in 2006 and loved it – including the spaghetti and lefse feed the night before.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I've heard great things about the Fargo Marathon
We spend as much of August as we can in Ottertail County. (Mrs. DG’s great-grandfather had a three-church circuit there way back when.)
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
As has Texas State
Soon to be a member of the WAC.
Drinkin' my whiskey clear since 2005.
Now available via Twitter.
by The Missing T on May 16, 2011 8:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Speaking as a HS senior in 1993 with aspirations of playing college ball
I totally would have committed instantly if Halle Berry was showing me around campus and Lattimer was earning a “place at the table”
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Seconded.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
#TeamEasternState
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions
#TeamKathyIreland
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
The Fuck Bowl

VS.

at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada…
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 8:01 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Please note this could also be played
at Clemson Memorial Stadium to FUCK CLEMSON
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 8:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Best sign ever seen on TV during a game
USCw vs USCe from late 80s or early 90s
“Your Toojans can’t hold our Cocks.” TV cameramen were not as crafty in those days, and it made it on the air for a while.
by ApothecaryMark on May 16, 2011 8:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Some Joe Morgan type genius
pointed out at fac orientation that hey there’s TWO USCs! I was like duh but they’re just the trojans, we’re the cocks. The dean LOVED that.
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 9:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Happens every year in I-AA in Alabama...
Jacksonville State Gamecocks vs Troy State Trojans. How that matchup happened in Alabama defies logic.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
troy is d-1 now
/party killa
//d-1aa Jack State beat Ole Miss last year
///party starta
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Well you see my problem, I thought they were still Troy State...
Also, how Troy made the iPhone version of NCAA ’11 I will go to my grave without understanding.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:27 PM EDT up reply actions
they (troy) went d-1 ~5 years ago.
have beaten Mizzou and OkSt on ESPN since then. (have also lost to piles of bigger schools, but the wins are the point)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey ya'll
FUCK CLEMSON
but especially FUCK HERNIAS
also
FUCK YEAH VICODIN!
by DC Gator on May 16, 2011 8:12 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
How's yer guts?
All back in their place?
YAY!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 16, 2011 8:17 PM EDT up reply actions
HA HO JAWS I GOTTA TELL YA
THIS GUY KNOWS HOW TO MAINTAIN PAIN MANAGEMENT. I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HOW THIS GUY USES HIS VICODIN. THIS GUY AINT FEELIN NOTHIN, MAN. I LIKE TO CALL HIM… WELL I LIKE TO CALL HIM THE OPPOSITE OF BRETT FARVE. THAT GUY DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE HIS VICODIN, BUT THIS GUY DOES. YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT KIND OF TOUGHNESS, MAN. THIS GUY’S GOT GRITTY HARD NOSED PAIN MANAGEMENT SKILLS THAT YOU NEED IN THE NATIONAL. VICODIN. LEAGUE.
by dmoney350z on May 16, 2011 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
Drugged gator is happee
won’t be raising his hand anytime soon. Thanks for the hilarity
/notlaughingithurts
HAHAHA, VICODIN.
I blew out my knee sophomore year of college, took vicodin, and went on crutches to a Halloween party with my girlfriend at the time. She went off to another party with another guy, and I ended up getting so unreasonably wasted after about 5 beers that I told my friend that he was permitted to have sex with my girlfriend, because she was a bitch and I certainly wasn’t going to do so. He declined my “offer”, but that was definitely the beginning of the end of our relationship.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
It was one of those "one day we'll look back on this and laugh" moments.
I actually don’t remember what happened. My friends are very reliable witnesses.
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
A good friend will bail you out of jail
a true friend is in the cell next door.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
by stempke on May 16, 2011 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Unless...
/prisoner’sdilema’d
//stopsnitchin’d
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 10:34 PM EDT up reply actions
It's funny how unoptimally that shit plays out in research
YAY MONIEZ
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
WHY DON'T TEH PEOPLEZ BEHAVE RATIONALLY?
RAEG. CLEARLY THEY ARE COMMUNISTS WHO SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO VOTE UNTIL THEY OWN PROPERTY AND PROVIDE PROOF ON NDNATION. ANGAR.
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions
NEOCLASSICAL ECONOMICS IS THE ONLY ECONOMICS WORTH BELIEVING IN IT'LL WORK IF WE KEEP TRYING IT
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
She didn't look like no cop, did she?
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions
Key differences
Good Friend: What the fuck were YOU thinking?
True Friend: I still don’t know where WE went wrong
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Good friends mock you for building a couch out of carpet pad and 2x4's
True friends helped you construct the couch out of carpet pad and 2×4′s.
/I swear it really did make sense at the time
//worked about as well as you might expect
///was, technically, functional
I'ma gonnna guess
“that’s what she said”
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Sure!
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:11 PM EDT up reply actions
when life gives you shit
watch someone else drink it and laugh
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
What? You've got beer, coffee table on which to set beer, football, seating, saw, porch for bikes
Who could want anything more?
It was actually quite a nice apartment as far as student living goes. Of course fucking EVERYTHING WAS TURNING INTO FUCKING CONDOS in the area that year, and our place was no exception.
Bastards.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies...
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:17 PM EDT up reply actions
And a best friend
will bust yo ass outta prison using smoke grenades and helicopters
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on May 17, 2011 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions
I have one of them 4 inch long scars
right next to Junior and the Twins. Makes for interesting bedroom conversation.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE
LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE LA NOIRE
/hyperventilates
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 9:16 PM EDT reply actions
Do you has?
And can you elaborate on its awesomeness?
/needs a new Xbox
//needs a job to afford new Xbox
On the morrow.
I could pick it up at the midnight release in a couple hours, but I’d like to go to sleep tonight.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 9:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Completely off topic, but...
My Swansea City are in the Championship playoff final! One match away from the Premier League! Was I screaming “We Are Going to Wembley!” in the bar today at 4:50 EST? Yes, yes I was. Am I celebrating with all the Kraken? ALL. THE. KRAKEN!!!
by Never Leave College on May 16, 2011 9:43 PM EDT reply actions
Swansea's a fun team to watch.
Hope they get promoted.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 10:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Are they playing Cardiff?
All the blood. all of it.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Speaking of blood
have the two West Ham vs. Millwall matches been scheduled yet? No? How about now? Have they been scheduled now?
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 16, 2011 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions
and everyone murders and sells swag for tattoos and stuff
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:12 PM EDT up reply actions
/stealshubcaps
//losestotottenham
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I was in London last year when Millwall won their promotion match...it was loud
I saw a bachelorette party pass by a pub. You’ve never heard fifty drunks turn faster on a dime from “WE ARE MILLWALL SUPER MILLWALL FROM THE DEN” to “GET YER TITS OUT FOR THE LADS”.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions
A Millwall fan paid for a small aircraft to fly over the DW stadium this past weekend during the West Ham vs. Wigan match with a banner.
It read “Avram Grant – Millwall Legend.” Priceless.
by Never Leave College on May 16, 2011 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE RELEGATION PARTY?
THIS WAS A REAL THING!? AND SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENED!
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Nope, but I'm going to Google it now.
And a relegation party sounds hilarious. Here’s a link to the fly over.
by Never Leave College on May 16, 2011 11:45 PM EDT up reply actions
The Cardiff vs. Reading 2nd leg is tomorrow at 2:45 EST.
First leg was 0-0 at Reading. If Cardiff make it through, there won’t be enough police in the world for that final at Wembley.
by Never Leave College on May 16, 2011 11:36 PM EDT up reply actions
We'll just count on the match being over before the fans arrive on foot
it’ll be like the children’s crusade, but with the Welsh
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I described the derby to some of the confused onlookers in the bar today as South Carolina - Clemson, but with much more violence.
by Never Leave College on May 16, 2011 11:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Much, much more violence
The first fixture in FA/W history to have fans barred from attending the matches. Good times.
And we were singing, hymns and arias...
Every last drop
The potential for that match up both excites and frightens me. I don’t think Wembley is ready for it.
Of course, we have to get by Reading this afternoon/evening, and Bellamy may have injured his hamstring. Again.
And we were singing, hymns and arias...
Here's hoping it's a South Wales match up
There will be much pain.
And we were singing, hymns and arias...
Much pain is an incredible understatement.
Good luck to your boys this afternoon. I hope Bellamy can play. No one wants to advance because the other team’s best players are out.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 10:04 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm sure Reading wouldn't mind
Can we switch to Fuck Reading for today?
Just found 5Live Football that gets around the no fun filter. I can listen to the broadcast live. I haz a happee.
And we were singing, hymns and arias...
Why not? I can do a Fuck Reading for today.
In case that stream goes bad, you can always try one from here if the no fun filter will allow it:
http://www.myp2p.eu/index.php?part=sports
The Cardiff vs. Reading match will show up later in the day as the game gets closer.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 10:31 AM EDT up reply actions
Damn.
Oh well. It’s worth saving that link for your home PC then. You can watch streams from Fox Sports, Fox Sports Plus, Sky, etc.
by Never Leave College on May 17, 2011 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions
Very nice, thanks for the link
I’ll be listening to 5Live’s Cardiff based broadcast, as opposed to their Reading based broadcast. They know well enough to have separate broadcasts.
And we were singing, hymns and arias...
In other news (didn't see this anywhere else)
RIP M-Bone
/dougies
//putsonpuddlescostume
///duckies
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 10:52 PM EDT reply actions
I saw that
I keep waiting for the “Instruct Me How to Douglas” picture to show up
/too lazy to fetch it myself
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 10:56 PM EDT up reply actions
unrelated:
Got your email. You will hear from tomorrow if that’s cool?
I don't know which you're worse at: the guitar or sex.
by Chloe Denmark on May 16, 2011 10:57 PM EDT up reply actions
Kind of curious how people make the jump from public commentary to private communications
Since the new Miami fellow asked me to email him or something and I frankly could not figure out how to do that without everyone seeing everything.
Sign up for junk email address
post in profile. Move on from there.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions
They are womenz
they haz the ways of communications through telepathy or something.
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions
My email is listed in my profile
Anybody wants to send me one is welcome to
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
And here I am thinking the internet is a series of tubes
I didn’t even know this was a thing one could do.
Now if only my username wasn't firstname lastinitial
And all of my email accounts firstinitial lastname.
1. Go to Yahoo
2. Create throwaway email address
3. List in your profile
4. When people need to contact you, go there, find their mail in amongst the junk
5. …
6. Profit!
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 16, 2011 11:07 PM EDT up reply actions
GET OFF MY DAMNED LAWN
Some of us are spoiled with a sufficiently unusual last name that we get kind of attached to these things.
/kicks in 4wd
//wooooooooooooooooo
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:27 PM EDT up reply actions
I can't imagine who told him that- it's not even a convenient analogy!
I try to think of the internet as a series of tubes and my brain breaks.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
It's like those pneumatic tubes at the bank
But with porn instead of deposit slips
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:11 PM EDT up reply actions
It's not that big of a deal
I mean it’s not like he was on the committee responsible for regulating the internet or anything…. What that… I see… carry on then
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Sounds good
have to work tomorrow (booooooooooooo) so may not get to respond promptly. Depends on how much sleep I get and when I get it.
/if I can sleep tonight I can email and play on here before work
//big if
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Me too - kind of surreal
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 11:24 PM EDT up reply actions
i was 22
in ’01
/grabs aluminum walker
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions
I was 22
in ’04
Damn, really?
/dyes hair to cover grey roots
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:30 PM EDT up reply actions
nope, has to be a party line
/hears both Eers
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Hello, Operator? Get me EDSBS, please.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
When I was but a mere prat back in the early '60s
Wheeling, WfnV still had telephone operators. You’d pick up the phone and wait, and a lady’s voice would say “Number, please.”
Our exchange was CEdar-2 (232), so you’d say “Cedar 2, 5555 please.” “Thank you.” And then the phone would ring.
When we went to dial tones it was a big deal, but I missed talking with the operators.
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:21 AM EDT up reply actions
I miss lettered exchanges
When I was a slip of an Import watching "The Morning Show’ on Channel 6, and Willie Mays was spinning the wheel for the Lorch’s Diamond Jubilee, they would always say “this person from the 823 exchange” or similar. Hell, most of my Alabama family I only have to remember the last 4 digits. Meanwhile I’ve been on 10-digit dialing since 1997.
I think what upset me most as a kid was realizing they didn’t have to plug that cable in to connect a call anymore…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 17, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions
The exchange was the first three digits
of 7-number dialing. So if your phone number was 232-5555, the 232 was the exchange. Only the first two letters of the word counted, which is why 232 was CEdar-2 (C and E are 2 and 3 on the dial).
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions
That doesn't actually seem any simpler than a true 7-digit dial
But simple (rightfully) often falls by the wayside in pursuit of analogs.
It wasn't done because it was simpler
it was done because the technology didn’t yet exist for people to dial their own numbers. No dial tone == no self-dialing.
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions
I may have been unclear.
Coupling between letters (CEdar) and numbers doesn’t seem intrinsically necessary or helpful for exchange-dialing. It seems, in many senses, as if it would introduce confusion among all parties. However, it seems likely that it grew out of some even simpler system in which such convolution made sense.
1-900-RONP4ME?
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 17, 2011 12:03 AM EDT up reply actions
i was bornin the 70's
/ok, so there were 6 days left in ther 70’s….
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:33 PM EDT up reply actions
/self reply
bornin = born in
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:33 PM EDT up reply actions
DON'T YOU TALK BACK TO ME
/not really mad
//just happy to be able to watch TV in peace
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
LITTLE RED CORVETTE IS MAKING FACES AT ME!
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions
/takes matches from ACS
‘dammit! you CAN’T have these!’
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:41 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Ancient Chinese Secret won't stay on his side of the line!
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions
NOT TOUCHING YOU NOT TOUCHING YOU NOT TOUCHING YOU.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!
Almost forgot-ACS CALLED ME FAT!!
/see wallow comment upthread lol
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:45 PM EDT up reply actions
DID NOT.
No, but srsly, wuz referring to myself.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions
I figured you were smart enough to not direct that at a woman
Even through the relative anonymity of the internet.
/we will find you
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:50 PM EDT up reply actions
OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
/locks door
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions
IF I HAVE TO GET OFF THIS COUCH
I’M TAKING AWAY YOUR PHONE PRIVILEGES!!
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT YOU LITTLE SHIT? WHEN I’M DONE YELLING AT HER I’M COMING IN YOUR ROOM AND TAKING AWAY YOUR ZELDA
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
/shuts up
//does homework
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions
OMG
IDK y dad is bein such a tool
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions
you could be, well not my mother, but certainly my aunt
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Now that I think about it
I have an aunt who is a month younger than I am. I feel much better.
/by marriage, but I’m still counting it
by little red corvette on May 17, 2011 12:32 AM EDT up reply actions
I have a nephew
who is six months older than me.
And here's a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam!
I have an aunt who is a year or so older than me
and my kids are older than her two with my uncle.
/bizarro family gathering is bizarro
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 17, 2011 2:40 AM EDT up reply actions
SOOOOOOOO glad
I went to bed and missed this entire sub thread.
/22 in 1999, and we partied just like it.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
Yeah, 18 in 99, so 21 in 2002.
Which was nice, since I worked for A-B at the time.
I don't know which you're worse at: the guitar or sex.
by Chloe Denmark on May 17, 2011 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions
Appliead Biosystems?
City of Alberta?
A Flat?
Anti Bolshevik League?
/kidding. I know the real answer
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
I was 22
in ’94
(drinks whiskey, GTF off my lawn)
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:33 PM EDT up reply actions
That's weird
I do the same things.
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 16, 2011 11:37 PM EDT up reply actions
It's funny
because my lawn is roughly the size of a peanut butter sandwich. But by damn, those whippersnappers will stay the fuck OFF it.
/glues washers to Nerf darts
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I had one of those supersoaker/nerf compressed air guns
those could bruise if you pumped them up enough
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
There is still one in a locker somewhere in the bowels of Sarratt Student Center at Vandy...
…ditched in a hurry in 1997 and never retrieved…wish I had that trick now…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:48 PM EDT up reply actions
How long did those stay on the market before the first recall?
15 minutes? 20?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Isn't that always the way?
Some stupid kid somewhere gets it banned…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I remember the first time I shot the neighbor kid- and his stupid ball gun- with enough power to leave a bruise
the gun lasted about a month before my mom took it away for good
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I turned 21 on Friday of Spring Finals Week 1995.
All the everything? ALL. THE. EVERYTHING.
All the vomit? ALL. THE. VOMIT.
All the hangover? ALL. THE. HANGOVER.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I discovered Star Wars in 1995.
#trollgaze
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 17, 2011 12:00 AM EDT up reply actions
I still believe that the first remastered version is the definitive version
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Laserdisc Star Wars ftw
suck it bluray
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 17, 2011 12:03 AM EDT up reply actions
Yes, though LD was probably available
my 9 year old self could not afford the player, however
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Same. There's a high probability I've seen you on an opposing stadium deck and hated the living fuck out of you.
HAHAHAHA EXCEPT FOR THE TWO PEOPLE WHO SAID THEY ARE 22 Y'ALL OLD, EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUSE
LOL AND OATS
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions
On a side note I am too drunk to determine what year I was 22 in
I wanna say ‘08 but honestly shit’s a bit hazy not just now but back then too. I did a lot of drugs back then. This was back before the whole economic crash and the shit was being passed around like a bowl of skittles and how could I say no?
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 11:58 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Just sent a list of womenfolk I cheated on her with
Highlights include that lesbian couple (one of them one on one as well as a three-way), one of her senior year roommates and my dental hygienist.
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:11 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Those are actually the only interesting ones
The other three were freshmen and/or in exchange for drugs.
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:14 AM EDT up reply actions
...

Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on May 17, 2011 12:14 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
ohhh dangerous maneuver to admit in this place, methinks.
more what you sent her not the actual sending…
Probably
Although I’m pretty sure she knew about the second one and the other one shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. It’s a double edged sword: one one hand waiters mistake me for a chick all the time in spite of a muscular build, mustache, five o’clock shadow and adams apple; on the other hand lesbians have crushes on me. Thick eyebrows and bushy eyelashes have this effect.
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:21 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm quite serious
I don’t know what it could be beyond having longish hair and being a bit on the short side. It really pisses me off.
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:34 AM EDT up reply actions
YOU LOOK LIKE ANN COULTER!!!???
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions
Aw, it's our seven-legged pal!
Hey little fellooOOMMPH NOT IN THE FACE NOT IN THE FACE
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 17, 2011 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions
I AM NOT A BLONDE
Then again neither is (s)he
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Hey, I'm a conservative/libertarian
and her look creeps me out. That was a straight-out appearance diss, no politics involved.
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:35 AM EDT up reply actions
A dental hygenist?
Oh, SNAP!
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions
Hey, it's one of two professions where you're payed to rub your tits in people's face and, like I said earlier, I've never been to a strip club
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions
Your part of the world clearly has a different caliber of hygienist
Either that or you are a gentlemen of ecumenical tastes.
Either way, ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 17, 2011 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Dentist offices in the State of Florida
are full of former UF students, there is some decent quality.
SO HOW'S SCHOOL GOING?
mfghafafghafmfajhfafg
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 17, 2011 12:32 AM EDT up reply actions
And there goes any sympathy you had in this scenario
You cheated on her at least 4 times and you call her cold for breaking up with you via email? Sorry bro, you’re not allowed to ask that she act with some sense of honor, when you clearly have not.
I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then, when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me... I was a father. ~ Nat King Cole
by stempke on May 17, 2011 12:32 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Just trying to troll her into admitting the same, I know it happened (in some cases with who)
Neither of us cared much at that point but since shits going down now it makes sense to air it all out.
by Mango Stasi on May 17, 2011 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions
Drunjen airing of grievances
was never successful or helpful for me personally. To each their own I suppose.
"What are you, drunk?" "Drunk enough to kick your ass."
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on May 17, 2011 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions
No it doesn't
It’s over. You won’t feel better, she won’t feel better. Cut the cord, close the book, whatever metaphor is appropriate for moving the fuck on. Keep your dignity intact and the healing process will go much faster.
by little red corvette on May 17, 2011 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Ok hon,
it’s time to shut the computer down and hand the phone to a friend. The most important thing is to escape with your dignity. Not even going to address the cheating thing, stempke’s got that covered elsewhere.
by little red corvette on May 17, 2011 12:35 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Well...
The most important thing is to escape with your dignity.
I think that ship has sailed.
by vineyarddawg on May 17, 2011 8:31 AM EDT up reply actions
"Back Then" refers to 2008?!?!
//has stroke
毎日は土曜日であるべき
Notre Dame Fighting Irish by birth and undergraduate degree
U. Hawaii Warrior because the government pays my grad school tuition
by Kelly's Gyros on May 17, 2011 2:30 AM EDT up reply actions
You're the same age as my older cousin
who is married, pregnant and living in Huntsville as a lawyer =)
Too much head, too little heart.
I has a twitter.
WHAT IS THIS USA NETWORK??
Necessary Roughness, the Series? Starring Jimmy McNulty’s hot ex wife? DON’T YOU TOY WITH ME???
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Second hottest Wire lady behind Nick Sobotka's girlfriend
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 11:21 PM EDT up reply actions
She is also quite good (read: hot) on Rescue Me
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Cheezus.
I leave you people alone for a few hours, and there are 298 new comments.
Has Mango Stasi barfed yet or what?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 16, 2011 11:34 PM EDT reply actions
Wait!
I missed BOOBS.
I don't know which you're worse at: the guitar or sex.
by Chloe Denmark on May 16, 2011 11:36 PM EDT up reply actions
I flashed my tits for Journey upthread
/this is what happens when you leave me unattended
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:37 PM EDT up reply actions
HAHA
wow. Journey. /JUDGINGBUTTRYINGNOTTO
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I've actually never done this
but I have a friend who did and I’m stealing her story.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I would never do this
/been dining out for years on tales of my best friend’s years at ND, dubiously attributed
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:45 PM EDT up reply actions
-

My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
by stempke on May 16, 2011 11:45 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I may not have flashed for it
But I still love that song. Go ahead and judge me.
by little red corvette on May 16, 2011 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Every. bloody. Giants. game.
Damn you Steve Perry for leading the crowd…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions
There are two kinds of people in the world
People who love Don’t Stop Believin’ ironically, and people who just love it.
My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want.
Hearing 2000 kids under age 23 pop like crazy and sing all the words...
…was the most surreal experience of the last three years. St. Mary’s in Moraga loves their Don’t Stop Believing…
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on May 16, 2011 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions
There are a surprising number of songs of similar vintage that somehow all college students know, regardless of decade
I see this most often in second-intermission band interludes at Gopher hockey games. Everyone knows at least 2/3 of the words of a lot of these songs.
OH AND FUCK YOU VERY MUCH SWEET CAROLINE TECHNO VERSION
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Pitt sings "Sweet Caroline" at every game
When WfnVU is in town, we join in:
“Sweeeet Ca-ro-liiine…
“EAT SHIT PITT!!”
“Good times never seem so good…”
Let's goooooooooo, Mountaineeeeeeeeers!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 17, 2011 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
No irony here.
Hell, most of what I hear from the pre-1985 era (and I heard a lot, my parents have quite the collection) is better than a good chunk of the top-40 shit these days.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Most of the top 40 back then sucked donkey balls, too.
It’s just that we’ve now had 25 years (??? !!! sheee-it!) to sort the wheat from the chaff. That said, I’m a huge fan of the “First Wave” channel on XM, and that’s where I end up when SiriusXMU or AltNation get a little too twee or strange for my tastes.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I had a feeling that might be the case.
Old music, art, books, movies, etc. that are still around today have a higher average quality than the new ones because the ones that sucked are quietly buried in unmarked graves at midnight.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Is the "3-Way" intentional, or just a happy accident?
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
Saw that too after I replied
Works either way
by little red corvette on May 17, 2011 12:08 AM EDT up reply actions
slangin tha Susan B's
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
SOCK 'EM IN THE THROAT, TOMMY.
by CoastalCowbell on May 16, 2011 11:37 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Is it ironic to give money with a woman who represents women suffrage
to girls getting naked for your entertainment?
referring to the susan’s not the sacagaweas.
by DC Gator on May 17, 2011 12:17 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wow, man.
That’s like a black fly in your chardonnay.
by vineyarddawg on May 17, 2011 8:34 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm working on it
Haven’t puked from alcohol alone in four years (of heavy drinking) though.
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 11:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Also, scored tickets to Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings tomorrow night
SWAG ME THE FUCK OUT
by Mango Stasi on May 16, 2011 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Looks like I'll be attending a few shows this summer as well
Recently added: Drive By Truckers, June 12th
/bourbon
Saw DBT open for The Hold Steady in Minneapolis a few years ago
amazing show on all fronts.
"Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards." -- Ron Swanson
by thechuck_2112 on May 17, 2011 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions

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