"Do you know what it takes to win a championship? I do. I've one quite a few. I've won one on every level. Pop Warner. High School. High School Sex School. College. Sex college. Stripper College. The ENN-EFF-ELL. The NFL Sex School. Cocaine Rangers of the West Pecos National Championship. Stabbington Polo League, Hairdressing division. I won SEAL School. I won Masculinity--TWICE. I won Idaho once AND DIDN'T EVEN WANT IT." If you want the net effect of Mike Irvin addressing your team, please see A.J. Highsmith's face here. (And he's known Mike through his dad for most of his life, so the others are all in the process of pooping their freshly minted football pants.)