The biggest private donors to athletic departments in the SEC come from the state that brought you keeping your house in event of a bankruptcy, "Blowin' Money Fast," and the entire city of Miami and everything it stands for every day. Speaking of Miami, the United States of Sodomy reveals that sodomy is illegal in the states of Mississippi, South Carolina, Louisiana, and Florida despite us having seen incidents of the act on football fields in each one of these states. Most involved Vanderbilt (you can take the child out of boarding school...) but two in particular involving Florida in the state of Alabama stick out as horrifying, non-consensual examples of this uneven enforcement of the law. (Remember that dildos remains illegal in the state of Alabama, which is why Tim Brando never shows up for SEC Media Days.)