THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/1/2011

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APRIL FOOL'S! YOU LIKE A SPORT WHOSE VERY PREMISE IS UNSTABLE AND ENCOURAGES CORRUPTION! Ha! So do we! YAYYYYY CORRUPTION. Remember, though, if you do break omerta and point this out about your team, you can always enjoy a lucrative career as a model for romance novel covers. NOTE: if you are a corrupt bowl official, you probably are actually screwed unless you are already a politician, in which case play on, playa.

HERP DERP INDEED. Eleven Warriors takes the trophy today for April Fools foolishness done well. We think a response slideshow about great slideshows which are also clickable is in order, and then if you could put that in a slideshow, and then that in another slideshow, and [DIVIDES BY ZERO]. The Pulitzer that does not end up on the desk of Johnny, Jason, Ramzy, and Luke and everyone else at 11W is a testament to the worthlessness of that once august award.

HERP DERP WAIT-- No, that's not an April Fool's joke.

Yet Tressel has somehow managed to keep his job at O-Lie-O State.

It's April 1st every day of the year at some places! WOCKA! O-Lie-O State is such a horrible name anyway, since it has a nasty word like "lie" in the middle. That is not a nice thing to say about someone, Mike Bianchi. How about "O-PIE-O State?" Pie is delicious, and everyone loves it. See? That's how to be nice and make people like you, friend! 

LSU HAS MORE FUN AT ALL TIMES DOING EVERYTHING. Les Miles is going to be on Sod Wars! He really isn't! But he could! The line between fiction and reality does not exist in Louisiana anyway, so if somehow this actually happened you wouldn't be surprised anyway, and that is the most brilliant bit of all. 

THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST THING EVER WRITTEN ABOUT LANE KIFFIN. The part that makes it plausible is that Lane Kiffin really could get lost in a building for five days.

JAYPA IS DROLL. LOL Oregon Transfers. Joe Paterno greeted them with "AHHHH I'M SORRY YOUNG MEN I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH THE LANGUAGE OF YOUR PEOPLE. I AM HAPPY TO FEED YOU WONDER BREAD FROM A PLASTIC BAG BUT WHEN I RUN OUT NO FUNNY BUSINESS FROM THE TWO OF YOU I KNOW YOU HAVE TEETH ALL DUCKS DO THEY JUST DON'T WANT THE PUBLIC TO KNOW BECAUSE THEY'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.

MIAMI IS ALSO DROLL. Wide receivers showed up this morning for an SI photo shoot that did not in fact exist while wearing full suits and ties. Oh, how Al Golden laughed from his Cybex machine!

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