THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/9/2011

LOL! I KNOW! THAT'S CRAZY! TTYL LYB JT-- As you most likely have seen by now, the emails from the Tressel case are public record and contain a lot of detail (some of it redacted) about the drug trafficking case, the illegal benefits (two mostly separate things here,) and Tressel's one line responses to the information. The good news for Ohio State fans is that reading through these you can imagine Tressel seeing this, thinking "JESUS I'm just going to say thanks instead of typing TLDR, and in the meantime shut the hell up about all of this."

Since he probably does receive about ten insane emails a day, this is probably not an insane response, but there is one problem: it establishes that he knew about a minor (and this is relatively minor in the monetary sense) exchange of goods and services based on the athletes status at athletes. The NCAA frowns on this, has proof, and will likely do something in addition to the two game suspension imposed by Ohio State itself, if only to justify its existence.

In short, Tressel said he thought the confidentiality issues surrounding a federal drug trafficking case trumped the concerns surrounding a possible NCAA case. That covers the quasi-legalities of the case. This is us being dry and impersonal about what was said as a response. There is a legalish argument for plausible deniability here, albeit not the most confidence-inspiring one to hear. 

AND NOW FOR THE PR FALLOUT. Jesus jumping jiminy jumprat jackoff, you could not have a worse press conference than Tressel had, nor a worse presenter for what was already a nuanced argument for why he did what he did. 

Tressel's elliptical manner of speech is bad for clarity at any time, but Don Sweatervest stumbled all over the place last night, haphazardly throwing out the words "drug trafficking" in the first few minutes without really doing a whole lot to clarify the matter and thus killing any PR professionals in the room. By action Tressel has accepted the punishment handed to him, and will likely take a bit more from the NCAA quietly, but for fuck's sake don't put the man in front of a camera when it's time to admit fault for what he says is a misunderstanding. You're supposed to sound contrite, not like you're spinning, and the blunt truth is that given Tressel's oratorical style a simple Wendy's order can sound like a Senatorial press conference dodge.

It's not that I want lettuce. We've liked lettuce before, and with the drug trafficking case, and the mayo, I'm just not sure, but I want to focus on what's important here. We're trying to feed everyone in this car right now. That might be me. It might be three people sitting next to me. It might be all of us or none of us, and then you'll understand why the mustard has to be on the side, and why I'm proud of us not doing what some programs would do and go to Subway. I wanted to do the right thing, and did the wrong thing, but for the right reasons, which I can explain after you make us a double with or without cheese, which is really another issue completely...

There are a lot of places you want Jim Tressel, but at the podium speaking without looking at notecards is not one of them.

REVIEWED AS WELL AS THE SPIDER MAN MUSICAL LOL.  Eleven Warriors thinks Tressel has earned the right to survive this, which we'll co-sign. Along the Olentangy thought Tressel seemed remorseful, something we'll also co-sign while noting that this body language of contrition was undercut by complete gibberish coming out of his mouth. (To add to this with a tiny note: the words "sorry," "apologize," and "fault" aappear nowhere in the transcript.)

Schlabach hammers home the non-apology angle. Doug Lesmerises says this is a permanent stain on Tressel's legacy. And hey, Yahoo! and their "OMG HORRIBLE" single sourcing journalism turned out to be the tip of a well-documented case, and Bruce Feldman wonders if this house is falling apart.

H8RZ. Brian lays out recent Ohio State sketchiness because...well, probably because it's quite entertaining to do that to a rival. All we do is make fun of Georgia's athletic center HAHAHA BUTTS-MEHRE SOUNDS LIKE BUTTSMEAR GET IT---

NON-TRESSEL FOOTBALL NEWS OF ACTUAL SUBSTANCE. Utah starts spring practice today. Mizzou's QB derby got underway yesterday, Syracuse gets its motherfuckin' Marrone on in starting their spring drills, Oklahoma State begins life after Holgo the Barbarian, and Indiana begins the Kevin Wilson era.

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