JIM TRESSEL PRESS CONFERENCE SUMMARY

Summary: you see, it was an accidental lie because I was unclear on procedure, you know, that pesky confidentiality thing, which by the way involved a drug trafficking case, and yeah I just dropped that in the middle of this, and even though everyone concerned was fine regarding this drug trafficking case and oh did one of our PR people just pass out back there oh my someone get Dana some water and see if she's alright, okay?

Anyway, where was I, oh, I was all freaked out over this confidentiality agreement, and I wasn't really quite sure what I should say about anything after that and didn't know who to go to, because you know it's really tricky to figure out which lawyer to talk to, and I really wasn't quite sure what I could say and was scared because I dunno, the government has police, and maybe the NCAA has police, too, but you know if they did I bet they'd shoot at Ohio State and hit Youngstown State, and that would be a shame because those people are fine people and we had a great time there and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone metaphorically.

Could someone check on Dana? I think she's flat on the floor back there.

So I know I can talk in circles, but hopefully I've managed to clear this up here. in summary: confidentiality, drug trafficking, something about not being totally clear in my understanding of which lawyers to talk to, and then we resolved this with a sock puppet meeting with human resources, and overall I'm disappointed, but can I fit a recruiting pitch in here my mentioning how we're like family and I thought I was doing the right thing? I can?

Done, and done, and Bruce Pearl?  You have just watched how a master shows the world his dick and calls it a magical salamander. Step your game up, He-bro.

2 games from OSU at the beginning of the 2011 season and a $250,000 fine.

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