We have a lot of chuckles at others' misfortunes here, particularly our beloved and flawed athletes. But one of the many marvelous things about our li'l interwebs community here is that we also have enough sense to be able to laugh at ourselves and by and large possess rapier self-deprecating wit. I've done a lot of dumb shit. A lot. Law enforcement even presented me with hardware around my wrists for my achievements on a few occasions. I know I'm not alone in this regard. For example, the law of numbers considering the sheer amount of alcohol consumed by readers of this site and the amount of total time spent in a college setting would dictate I'm not. So let's have some fun at our own expense by turning the scoreboard lights of one of our most treasured institutions, The Fulmer Cup, to shine upon our own moments where we've "demonstrated poor judgment", as almost any coach worth his weight in cliches would say.
1) Point values will be the same as the regular Fulmer Cup. If you need a refresher on the scoring system, click here.
2) It doesn't have to have occurred in the offseason. We're talking the total number of times you & law enforcement did not see eye to eye throughout your entire life.
3) You don't have to disclose the exact nature of the individual infractions since this is voluntary and it IS no one else's business, after all. Just team affiliation and total points is fine. However, if you say something like "202 points", the rest of us reserve the right to alert the authorities.
4) You can award yourself bonus points. However, if you choose to do so, we ask that you give details as to why you think you deserve it. So if you want the bonus point, you gotta tell us whatcha done did.
5) After a totally subjective amount of time (i.e. when it looks like we're done getting responses), we'll tally up each fanbase's transgressions and declare a winner.
I'll start. Mine are quite commonplace and typical of any college-age hell raiser/dumbass.
Team: South Carolina
4 - DUI. 2 points and awarding myself two bonus points. One bonus point for excessive drunkenness (ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - Blew A 0.28). Second bonus point for getting pulled over for... cutting off a cop.
3 - Simple possession of weed. 2 points for that and 1 point for sticking me with "driving with a burned-out tag light" while they were at it, which was why they pulled me over in the first place.
1 - Minor possession of alkyhol. A plastic half gallon bottle of the finest rotgut vodka in the parking lot of a queefcore concert festival (which arguably may also be worth a bonus point).
2 - Speeding tickets. First one was while driving to high school and didn't notice the reduction in speed limit due to uproarious laughter at something on the radio. Second was cresting a ridge while speeding, pulled over by cop sitting on other side of the ridge waiting for cars to come, and then not compounding it into a DUI because I told him the alcohol smell was "coming from the trash bags in the back from a party I cleaned up". Still not sure how that worked. And if you need clarification on the validity of speeding tickets, see my comment below.
10 points out of the gate for the Fightin' Cocks mainly via a marginally prolific 15 months of stupidity a decade ago.
So come one, come all, confess your sins while supporting your school. No one here will judge you...