THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/8/2011

THIS IS FOOTBALL-RELATED WE SWEAR. If a drunken Kirk Douglas singing to a seal isn't football-related, then we don't like your definition of football, sir. (It's Jules Verne's birthday, today. Don't call him. He's dead.)

Kirk Douglas must have been the consummate professional, since he carries off being asked to perform an entire scene with a live seal as his dialogue partner with aplomb and real confidence. It probably helps that he knows the seal will hit its marks, since like all performing Disney animals in the '50s and '60s It is both nailed to the bed with real steel nails, and is being controlled by a diabolical German technician with 120 volts of painful live current.

JANZEN JACKSON WITHDRAWS FROM TENNESSEE. The move was described by Derek Dooley as "temporary" and related to some deep personal issues, but the Vols' best defensive player is headed home to Louisiana to deal with something requiring intense attention. The leader in the clubhouse of guesses is depression. If this is the case, good luck, sir. The black dog is a bitch who is not easy to shake off your trail.

It has nothing to do with Janzen's situation, but Hinton would also like you to notice the ruins of Lane Kiffin's lone class at Tennessee. It's impressive what you've done here, with all the...flames, and the...ashes and bones and stuff.

HE'S A-GONNA SIT. The possibility of Isaiah Crowell actually taking the first carry for UGA got significantly better this morning with the indefinite suspension of Washaun Ealey for mysterious reason. We have an inside piece of information, though: he was suspended most likely for the very persuasive reason of "being Washaun Ealey, and therefore a bit flaky."

TOODLES TO YOU, AND PLEASE OPEN EVERY PODCAST WITH A SONG. Adam and Pat sing like men do in triumph, because the BHGP community raised over $20K for the UI Children's Hospital, a nice little bit of the total going toward the new addition there. Kudos and huzzahs to all who made this possible.This is your annual reminder to prepare for our own charity function on EDSBS around the spring games, when we too will shamelessly ask you to give money to children. (Our new charity for aspiring juvenile sports gamblers is gonna be THE BEST.) 

IN OTHER INTERNET ACTIVISM. Seriously, did Bruins Nation kill the Rocky Seto hire? And then, flush off their success, did they have Rocky Seto killed? Both are entirely possible.

A REMINDER FOR THOSE UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT. We don't use racial slurs at the University of Alabama, and yes, we will be having a review of those with visiting professor Louis CK for fall orientation.

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