THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH
by Spencer Hall on Feb 7, 2011 3:44 PM EST
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As the nation crawls from its Super Bowl hangover crater, let us count the ways in which we are fortunate as college football fans. Like NFL fans, we are without football, and for a good long while. Yet you've dealt with that before. You've picked up new hobbies.* You've met new people in previous offseasons.** You've become better people in the process and emerged from the pupae of the offseason a bolder, more beautiful and confident butterfly.*** It's gonna be excelsior!
You also have this to come back to, dear reader: a chaotic, ungovernable mess of a sport that while molested by numerous meddling television hands never quite gets the full rapine afforded the NFL by Fox Television. You may have to tolerate Craig James and Bob Davie, but you'll never get to listen to Joe Buck's voice announce touchdowns with the desperation of a man with one toe on the trigger of a shotgun he will never fire. Joe Buck and Jim Nantz are the CBS and FOX announcers of record for anything important, and that is the thought that will keep you running into the arms of our collective sports Mubarak (ESPN) every time. They might be despots, but dammit they're not the ones who are going to kill me with long stretches of sonic whitewash.
Also, the NFL's positioning as an unofficial branch of the military is uncomfortable, if only because we imagine their coaches being in charge of things on the battlefield. Chan Gailey thinks Verdun "was a pretty good gameplan" by the French, and with Andy Reid's timing issues under pressure his appointment as artillery commander means lots of friendly fire casualties. Conversely, if we take college coaches and put them in the same situation, we're signing up for SeaBee duty with Commander Bielema: a 12 pack a day for each man, three hours plowing runways out of the jungle with a bulldozer, and then night duty plowing the locals with booze and the ol' thrilldozer.
(Oh, and you know the coaches who'd actually wanna be out killing people. Carl and Bo have gone behind enemy lines, sir--far, far beyond the terms of engagement defined in their original mission. Their methods have become...unsound. Their mental state...unstable.)
*Drinking
**Counselors, vagrants.
***Like this butterfly, actually. .
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Rec'd
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Better to have died a small boy than to drop this football - John HeismanFromTheRumbleSeat
by Winfield Featherston on Feb 7, 2011 3:48 PM EST reply actions
Well, some of us wont have to deal with Fox again..
but I remind you all that the B1G has hitched themselves to that FAILwagon until 2016
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
But on the bright side
We get
Sparty on. Gator done.
by SpartanGator on Feb 7, 2011 6:23 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/justenoughexclamationpointsforGus.
There is no Gus but Gus.
If I had $359 million cash, my first call would be to CBS to hire Gus to do play-by-play of my life.
(Second call is to HR. I’m not an idiot.)
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
Hiring Gus Johnson to call a Big 10 game
Is like hiring Paula Dean to cook a low-fat feast.
You can do it, and they’ll do a good job. But talents are not being optimized.
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
by Billy Gomila on Feb 7, 2011 7:56 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
I would probably not even call HR.
I’d something dramatic, maybe flip my desk over, take a painting off a wall, put it under my arm, walk out knock over a lamp or two. Flick my boss off(even if though like the guy, but just on principle).
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 7, 2011 9:16 PM EST up reply actions
I'm usually too drunk to care
who is announcing. Didn’t bother me a bit last night because hitting parlays on the Super Bowl is the tits.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 7, 2011 3:55 PM EST reply actions
I'll never have to deal with an announcer who clearly does not give a flying toad fart about football, eh?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 7, 2011 3:58 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
In all seriousness, this is why I don't like bitching about Musburger.
Sure, he can be over-the-top, hokey, and an unabashed frontrunner, but he obviously loves college football and has at least as much fun calling the games as we do watching them.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 7, 2011 5:58 PM EST up reply actions
Pat Haden: he may not have been an ND fan, but at least he gave a shit about football
I don’t care if ND is fighting… to end malaria. I would prefer they fight not to give up a conversion on another 3rd and 52.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
gotta find something to be proud about
when the football team has a losing record to service academies in the last few years.
The Best thing he ever did
was try to be like Keith Jackson.
Why haven’t we started cloning Keith Jackson? Would anyone really oppose this?
Sparty on. Gator done.
by SpartanGator on Feb 7, 2011 6:24 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs
Cosign
I’m in for $100, and I know a bunch of stem cell scientists whose PCs can be held to ransom.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
So, you'll get your cancer center and a working computer network
when I get my army of Keith Jacksons.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"On the Banks of the Olentangy"
…still gives me chills every time I hear it on ESPN Classic or BTN classic games. One of Keith’s more underrated phrases.
GAHHHHH
Rec'd, and fuck the moral implications of cloning
I love green because money be green.
by Joey C. on Feb 7, 2011 6:39 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Rec'd because I get this reference.
Please don’t tell anyone else.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 7, 2011 6:41 PM EST up reply actions
Only if you promise me the same
Otherwise we’re looking at a murder/suicide pact.
I love green because money be green.
NERDS
I prefer a hamster.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I was just about to bring up
my implicit murder/suicide pact with you.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 7, 2011 6:43 PM EST up reply actions
word
/bolter’d
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Just declare vendetta on each other and get it over with!
I lost many, many hours playing that game. It’s no accident that the acronym for “Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri” is SMAC, because it was a CD vial of digital heroin…
And furthermore, Ayn Rand's articulation of objectivism--Oh. I’m sorry, it’s the weekend. FOOBAW AND ALKYHOL WOOOOOOOO!!! -- Ancient Chinese Secret
The substructure of the universe
agrees with you.
by Alaska Hokie on Feb 8, 2011 12:09 AM EST up reply actions
My favorite SMAC-related cartoon...
…and every damn person who ever played a Sid Meier game can relate!
And furthermore, Ayn Rand's articulation of objectivism--Oh. I’m sorry, it’s the weekend. FOOBAW AND ALKYHOL WOOOOOOOO!!! -- Ancient Chinese Secret
Hmm...punchline got cut off, here's a link
And furthermore, Ayn Rand's articulation of objectivism--Oh. I’m sorry, it’s the weekend. FOOBAW AND ALKYHOL WOOOOOOOO!!! -- Ancient Chinese Secret
Please don't go...
The drones need you! They look up to you!
by The Missing T on Feb 8, 2011 11:07 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
I would not oppose it
I’ve given serious thought to denying my children any human interaction for the first 10 years of their life and locking them in a room with old games commentated by Jackson. I think this will accomplish both 1) instilling a love of college football 2) ensuring they have awesome old timey accents.
I see no potential problems with this.
"Half my fucking age…. Kiss my Alabama ass you wet behind the ears bluegrass horse fucker." - Another Damn Dan
And then you send them to summer camp at Rockmont
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
How do you describe a plan like this?
I suppose if your roots are Southern, you might call it “Three Whoopies And A Hot Damn.”
(St. Keith Jackson pray for us.)
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
This is so
Despite my loathing for BSU, which is only rivaled by Brent’s sycophantic love for it, he is one of the best out there today.
I love green because money be green.
Hey give Hammond some credit
Football, track and field, figure skating, gymnastics, squash – he’s pretty versatile. Of couse, Musberger isn’t bad himself. He has been known to announce a wide range of sporting events from Big 12 football games to Big 12 football games to Pac 10 football games to Big 12 football game.
by iwouldfootball on Feb 7, 2011 11:17 PM EST up reply actions
very nice.
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"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
Ooh, can I play?
Kiffin’s a John McCain/Tom Cruise in “A Few Good Men”—put in place largely due to parentage, has a rep as spoiled trustafarian, but surprisingly competent in military/football-type stuff when given the chance.
(Yes, I am comparing having Jonathon Crompton be your starter to eight years as a Vietnamese POW.)
by This Original Guy on Feb 7, 2011 4:13 PM EST reply actions
Re: Crompton
Seems like a fair comparison.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
As an ex SeaBee who "toured" Viet Nam
I am shocked to find acknowlegement of my little known group. Being a SeaBee is, in the military, kind of like being the Purwho of the Big Ten. Incredibly good at what you do, but hardly anyone has ever heard of you. The ones who have, forget you pretty quickly.
Thanks for the mention. Nicely written segment, sir.
One quibble: that whole “new hobby = drinking” thing. Really? One of the few things I have honestly mastered, and there is allusion to it as a new hobby?
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 4:16 PM EST reply actions
Grandpa Swindle was a SeaBee
So we know who gets to grab the choice flats of beer first on their way off the truck.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
Allow me to hoist a cold one
in honor of Grandpa Swindle then. Hope he was luckier in his tours of duty. Just a few months before my deployment to Nam, I got to deal with Hurricane Camille. Gulfport, in late summer and early fall of ’69, was no place to be a 19 year old SeaBee.
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 4:28 PM EST up reply actions
As was Grandpa Nopants
Can’t go wrong with naval construction.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 8, 2011 1:12 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Seabees....
…kick the crap out of Red Horse.
"Hey--where's Perry?"
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 7, 2011 4:31 PM EST up reply actions
I posit that drinking can never be fully mastered...
but each and every attempt at gaining more knowledge is worth the effort for the journey alone
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
Bullshit. (with, of course, all due respect)
But John Wayne made a movie about ya, so ya ain’t unknown.
I’d argue USMC Recon as the group hardly anyone knows about.
I don't have time for any of this... and yet... here I am. I feel like Wiley E. Bulldog-y.
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Feb 7, 2011 5:32 PM EST up reply actions
As the Black Knight said in Monty Python/Holy Grail
All right, we’ll, call it a draw.
If you walk up to a person on the street and say you were USMC Recon, I believe they’d have a general idea what branch and what you did. True apreciation, no….but a general idea nof what you were and did.
Tell that same person you were a SeaBee and you just would not believe the percentage of blank stares and “what the fuck is that” questions.
And yes, that is WITH a John Wayne movie. Even a lot of Navy guys don’t even know.
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 5:39 PM EST up reply actions
SeaBee memorial in DC is a must-view
RIght across the bridge on the way to Arlington Cemetery. Huge, black marble, “CAN DO” – definitely rewards a stop and a photo.
/raises a glass to the art of Combat Engineering, which sounds stupendously badass all by itself
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
Been there, seen that
and, while completely biased, I concur about it being worth the time.
Still think our CAN DO is the coolest motto ever. Talk about short and to the point…
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 6:17 PM EST up reply actions
Hey, SeaBee, this former airedale knows who you guys are...
and thank you for your service in that thankless war.
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
Respectfully disagree
The Eastwood made a movie about the Recon Marines.
Look, a seagul!!
by Cranked_Irish on Feb 8, 2011 2:40 AM EST up reply actions
One of my good friends is a Recon, and was actually represented in Generation Kill
So I’m probably biased, but I think they’re pretty well recognized. The Marines are thought of in terms of being comprised of the elite, so maybe the disconnect in most circles is that they are not recognized as being different from the “regular” Marines.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
My cousin was one
he’s out (and lucky to be out), but it would be hard to classify him as anything but “elite”
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
The SEC is Afghanistan
A group of poorly educated tribes that keep trying to bomb each other further into the stone age.
Until an “outsider” shows up, and then they will somehow unite and absolutely wreck your shit, all the while shouting incoherently.
by lhb98 on Feb 7, 2011 4:18 PM EST reply actions 23 recs
But who is the SEC equivelent to Hamid Karzai?
Slive? Cecil? PAAAAWWWWWLLLL?
Next year, the cheerleaders manning the fax machine will wear burkas.
Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes
Houndstooth burkas
Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.
by Cali Dawg on Feb 7, 2011 5:00 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
You could honestly make millions with this idea
and that’s why I’m going to steal it…
You will know me by my name: Tiger. War Eagle. Plainsmen. CHAMPION!
Dean of Auburn Institute for Exploding Dog Studies
by Oscar Whiskey on Feb 7, 2011 5:05 PM EST up reply actions
As a matter of fact...
The shemegh worn by Taliban/Insurgents/SpecWar/everyone shooting in the mountain sandbox kinda has a houndstooth pattern already.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on Feb 8, 2011 9:18 AM EST up reply actions
Footage from the battlefield
Aftermath:
by SEC Supremacist on Feb 7, 2011 4:50 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
and now the TP shortage in Auburn makes sense.
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"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 7, 2011 4:53 PM EST up reply actions
RE: LSU Photo
Seems to be perfect parody for all that is LSU football:
Absolute insanity controlled only be pure chaos!
FUCK DA HATAZ!!1!!!111!!
"So put 2 on, put 10 on, WHAT DO YOU CARE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE PAYIN' FOR 'EM!!!!?"
-Doug Heffernan, in regards to Arthur and his stamp needs
by Jon Ross on Feb 7, 2011 6:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
HOKEAMANIA IS GONNA RUN WILD ON YOUUUUUUU!
"So put 2 on, put 10 on, WHAT DO YOU CARE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE PAYIN' FOR 'EM!!!!?"
-Doug Heffernan, in regards to Arthur and his stamp needs
I was trying to think of the last country
that had any success dealing with the Afghans, ever, in any scenario.
GAHHHHH
I was thinking that the Mogul Empire fought 'em to a draw
for a century or two, but I might be wrong.
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
If a draw is consider the best success
than I think my point is made
England's punitive raids sort of worked
but they made no attempt to occupy. Just burn.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
A draw is the best I can come up with
and yes, your point was made.
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
The Mongols conquered what is now Afghanistan. It took them about 3 years
which was an eternity in terms of Mongol conquests. The invasion and conquest of Khwarezmia (modern day Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iran) did ultimately lead to the destruction of the Mongol Empire, though, as it lead to internal strife between Ghengis’ sons over who would rule it. They began to hate each other after the decision was made and passed that bitterness on to their grandsons. They would later start battling each other as some had converted to Islam and others had not.
So basically Afghanistan has been exactly the same since the 1250s
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Macedonia fucked em up.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 8, 2011 10:51 AM EST up reply actions
And yet, never set foot in Sparta
Which allows me to post my favorite quote ever. When Philip (Alexander’s father) wrote to the King of Sparta, offering him riches and titles if he surrendered Sparta to Macedonian rule, he included the line “If my army were to set foot in Laconia, we will raze Sparta to the ground.” The response was just one word, “If”
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Just as a necessary and completely unrelated aside...
HOW ‘BOUT THEM FUCKIN’ PACKERS!!!!
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 8, 2011 11:04 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
The Lombardi Trophy has come home!!!!!!!!
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
It's too awesome.
I get to say that I am part owner of an NFL champion now. That is so ridiculously cool that I’m semi-erect thinking about it right now. It might make my court appearance in a half hour a little less decorous than usual.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 8, 2011 11:17 AM EST up reply actions
Would that make MSU Afghanistan?
Because I can totally get behind that.
by Mango Stasi on Feb 7, 2011 8:36 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
OSU?
Turkmenistan. /wayinside
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Other, less publicized footage from the battlefield
by Cheeseandcorn on Feb 7, 2011 7:38 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
GOOD THING THE SEC IS THE MIDDLE EAST AND NOT NORTH KOREA OR YOU'D BE KILLED.
Government newspapers are the best.
"So put 2 on, put 10 on, WHAT DO YOU CARE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE PAYIN' FOR 'EM!!!!?"
-Doug Heffernan, in regards to Arthur and his stamp needs
Like the Detroit Free Press?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Feb 7, 2011 8:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Mitch Albom is a ninny.
"So put 2 on, put 10 on, WHAT DO YOU CARE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE PAYIN' FOR 'EM!!!!?"
-Doug Heffernan, in regards to Arthur and his stamp needs
But...but...
and…and…and…we’ve beat Georgia and Auburn and South Carolina and Arkansas and Clemson and Florida State and
WE’RE ON OUR WAY TO GREATNESS RIGHT??
PAPA BROOKS HELP ME OUT HERE. WE’RE BACK ON TRACK, RIGHT? IT’LL BE JUST LIKE WE THOUGHT THE CURRY DAYS WOULD BE, RIGHT?
NO YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS BULLSHIT NO BUT I NO I CAN’T NO
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAAAAAAAAA WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Half my fucking age…. Kiss my Alabama ass you wet behind the ears bluegrass horse fucker." - Another Damn Dan
by Old South on Feb 7, 2011 11:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
We have some insensitive bastards on this site...
and that’s why I keep coming back. Thank you.
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Feb 8, 2011 8:59 AM EST up reply actions
'salright dude
at least you’ve still got baske——oh wait, sorry bout that
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Feb 8, 2011 8:24 AM EST up reply actions
I would like to salute this
With a long burst from my AK.
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
by Billy Gomila on Feb 7, 2011 5:04 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
How about we send Arkansas up to B1G country with an IED
They need to redeem themselves from that Sugar Bowl failure.
They would
drop them on the way.
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 5:08 PM EST up reply actions 12 recs
replace with pig:
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"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 7, 2011 5:24 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Upon further review
Does Arkansas really count as a full member? After all, they play defense like they are still a part of the SWC/Big12?
I'm gonna ride around my camel swinging my sword.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 7, 2011 5:07 PM EST up reply actions
You forgot about the parts
where lawlessness reigns supreme, the general state of misogyny, religious to a fault, and having the general tendency to copulate with cousins
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
by MikeLew on Feb 7, 2011 5:05 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
this
the stereotype doesnt work if you keep having to describe it.
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"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 7, 2011 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
Allah Ak'Bear!
You will know me by my name: Tiger. War Eagle. Plainsmen. CHAMPION!
Dean of Auburn Institute for Exploding Dog Studies
by Oscar Whiskey on Feb 7, 2011 5:06 PM EST up reply actions 14 recs
Would Arkansas
even be allowed to play in an Islamic country?
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
Your right
Maybe we should send them back to UTSR
Fox = the devil, only not as cool
Their pregame extravaganza was the most crass, brain-dead, soul-raping waste of 1,396 hours of airtime I’ve ever seen. (And yes, I watched plenty of their BCS broadcasts.) It was so bad that Bill O’Reilly’s presence actually classed up the joint.
Worse still was the fact that Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston weren’t there to explain the myriad differences between college and pro football. Two minutes before halftime, I became terrified that the space-time continuum had actually stopped, and it was only when someone explained to me the intricacies of the “two-minute warning” that I was able to compose myself, change my shorts, and resume watching the game.
Agreed
I got bored during it, and decided to go take a shit to amuse myself. In retrospect, I am content with this choice.
"Half my fucking age…. Kiss my Alabama ass you wet behind the ears bluegrass horse fucker." - Another Damn Dan
You should never have to regret taking a shit
Even if those close to you say you should
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 7, 2011 4:54 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
As a Packer fan, I was heavily invested in the events of Sunday
and I was bored to tears. Ended up playing hours of Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. Mindlessly slaughtering hundreds of Borgia troops is quite therapeutic for a lapsed Catholic.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
It is essentially, but there are enough gameplay additions to make it worth in my opinion
For example, Ezio is now the leader of the Assassins and as such, you have to train new recruits, so it has a little bit of an RPG feel, in the sense that they need to level up and get better before you can send them on tough missions. Once you have them, you can call on them to help you in a fight.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
See Mizzou!
Its your lack of bloodlust that prevents your membership in the Big Ten.
Deadspin: by douche bags, for douche bags.
The Horror, the Horror!
Conrad’d
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
The official butterfly of EDSBS
looks more like this
by Grib on Feb 7, 2011 4:41 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Would that make Holly Dr. Girlfriend?
She calls the shots as well as Fearless Leader.
Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes
I nominate ACS as our Dr. Orpheus
He sort of lives nearby and appears regularly to make well-worded proclamations. And he can make fire.
I love green because money be green.
And our very own catfish as...
The Phantom Limb
/Crompton’d
/ArmPunt
…I’ll show myself out
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Feb 7, 2011 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I don't have time for any of this... and yet... here I am. I feel like Wiley E. Bulldog-y.
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Feb 7, 2011 5:34 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think anyone "tolerates" Craig James such much as suffers him
He is an awful, awful example of football commentary. If anything, he belongs with the rest of the dunces over at the Fox Confederaceh.
Still, I’m thankful that my team’s coach will throw downfield from the back of his own endzone, will go for 2 on the regular, will never hesitate on 4th down, will decline to lay up with a draw on 3rd and long. These are not necessarily the norm for college football across the board, but it’s certainly representative of the sport’s relative propensity to slap the face of “conventional football wisdom” with a white glove. NFL AIDS and its corollary playcalling tendencies are no joke, and they smear an otherwise perfect pastime.
I love green because money be green.
No arguments with any of that, but at least the NFL gets the postseason right, which in CFB is what smears an otherwise perfect pastime.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 7, 2011 5:13 PM EST up reply actions
Shhhh...
Don’t mention the ‘P’ word…
Bill Hancock has ears everywhere…
Not safe here…
Geopolitical Football
That makes the ACC France, trying to hang on to its football/international geopolitical significance, which it only got in the first place by hanging around the right people when the BCS/Security Council was created. Meanwhile both are racked by internal decay, watching as the Big East/Germany relegate them to the ash heap of history.
I guess that makes the BCS = the United Nations, a relic of the cold war that everybody complains about yet must appeal to whenever anything threatens to shake up the world order.
I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.
RE: Big East
Big East is more like Demilitarized Japan…
They don’t have much football but they’re really good at other stuff (Basketball).
The Big 12 is the Soviet Union
Now spinning off into separate republics, with Putin/Dodds trying to force them back into his sphere of influence.
Remember, Aggies – this means you are trying to join Afghanistan.
TxTech = Grozny
You will know me by my name: Tiger. War Eagle. Plainsmen. CHAMPION!
Dean of Auburn Institute for Exploding Dog Studies
by Oscar Whiskey on Feb 7, 2011 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
Baylor = Vladivostok?
K-State = Yakutsk?
i dont think i’m doing this right….
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 7, 2011 5:17 PM EST up reply actions
Nebraska/Colorado =
Poland/Czech Republic/Yugoslavia.
Not all that thrilled with being junior partners to the UTSR, and bolting for other alliances as soon as they could.
"Hey--where's Perry?"
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 7, 2011 5:26 PM EST up reply actions
Mizzou has to be Hungary, then
We tried quasi-open revolt against the UTSR, and they, with their minion Chip Brown at the helm, ruthlessly crushed us while the rest of the world worried about minor matters like a canal or Pete Carroll.
It's a funny name.
by Turd Ferguson on Feb 7, 2011 5:29 PM EST up reply actions
Making Kansas/Iowa State/K State
Azerbaijan, the country that never really belonged and that nobody was quite sure they wanted. Also rode the coattails of more successful big brother (in ISU’s case) (the Turks) in their prime (aka: Armenian genocide).
What, too soon for a semi-joke about the Armenian genocide? Damn.
So what if I tailgate to the NPR jazz station?
Texas A&M...
They have police-state military uniforms, they continually stress their independence from a much larger neighboring entity whose policies they nonetheless ape slavishly, and they are part of a large confederation ruled by Vlad the Impaler (currently reincarnated as Dan Beebe).
by HailVarsity on Feb 8, 2011 4:46 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
If this is the USSR, wouldn't Baylor be kind of like Kiev?
It’s really only present on the whim of Moscow/TX, but is simultaneously mistreated by the same.
I love green because money be green.
hmm ok...
Oklahoma football is Baikonur?
many successes, but colossal failures on the big stage?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 7, 2011 5:42 PM EST up reply actions
Oklahoma is actually
a 90 year old piece of dried shit sitting on Red Square firmly lodged under one of Lenin’s fingernails
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
ISU is clearly Norilsk
It’s a great place if you’re an engineer who loves temperatures fit only for caribou, but if you’re anyone else, it’s a bleak frozen hell which had its heyday half a century ago.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 8, 2011 11:32 AM EST up reply actions
Nebraska
equals Baltic Republics. They have joined the enemy coalition and are pissing on its leg from the comfort of a new security umbrella.. The analogy breaks down when female talent is considered though. The babeage of Riga must been seen to be believed.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
There is quite a bit of talent at Nebraska too...
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
I am actually concerned
that the uppermost portion of this picture may actually violate an EDSBS policy of some kind.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
I can't tell
if what is happening between her legs is a drip drop or a dangling piece of apparatus.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
or is it the worst of all worlds
a drip drop making its way down a dangling piece of apparatus?
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
It could be like Atlanta
and be a facility with multiple stages rather than a mirror. The only thing missing is the previous UGa athletic director.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
Is that Klaus Kinski's head 'shopped in the middle there?
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Feb 7, 2011 6:08 PM EST up reply actions
Yes
Cunningly, it is covering up the fact that Mike Price is actually seated in the middle.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
It would take someone like Kinski to cover up Price's many many problems
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Feb 7, 2011 6:12 PM EST up reply actions
Would that shoe lifts
could cover Terry Bowden’s.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
zing!
You mean…“rise above the problems”
…I’ll show myself out.
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Feb 7, 2011 6:23 PM EST up reply actions
I'm incredibly skeptical of any girl who wears a bikini top to a football game
I know that girls don’t dress appropriately for football in the midwest, but that’s just over the top.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 7, 2011 9:23 PM EST up reply actions
All the more amazing b/c it hasn't gotten above freezing in Lincoln in 28 years
"Half my fucking age…. Kiss my Alabama ass you wet behind the ears bluegrass horse fucker." - Another Damn Dan
She's actually at the College World Series...
but baseball and bikinis definitely go better together than bikinis and football
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
Makes much more sense
I love seeing the sluts at Turner Field with bikinis on.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 7, 2011 10:41 PM EST up reply actions
What's appropriate women's wear for football in the midwest?
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 8, 2011 12:32 AM EST up reply actions
Sweatervest and glasses.
Some of the sorority girls don’t look half bad, and red is a slimming color if you choose to go the jersey route.
GAHHHHH
Problem? other color is white. Otherwise known as the "Hindenburg" look
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Look in the fashion dictionary
under “Russian Babushka”
And furthermore, Ayn Rand's articulation of objectivism--Oh. I’m sorry, it’s the weekend. FOOBAW AND ALKYHOL WOOOOOOOO!!! -- Ancient Chinese Secret
Just checking.
I saw these as appropriate myself. Really was concerned that I had missed some sort of pamphlet on how I should have been dressing all these years.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 8, 2011 12:37 AM EST up reply actions
Pac 10 - Austrailia
Takes up a large amount of space, but in the middle of nowhere…paid attention to by nobody…people are asleep when they play their games.
by GoBlueYork on Feb 7, 2011 5:46 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
And we have a jaunty sense of humor about ourselves that doesn't quite translate for fans of other conferences
I love green because money be green.
Nah, the Pac-10 is South America.
Plenty of coastline and mountains with a general disinterest in what’s going on in the rest of the world, plus lots of quality bunda.
B1G Ten
Is AMURCAH!!!!
Former greatness. Still too good to disregard entirely. No real hope/path to property.
I now haz a sad.
Sparty on. Gator done.
by SpartanGator on Feb 7, 2011 6:35 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Would that make Purdue Roanoke, NC?
"Half my fucking age…. Kiss my Alabama ass you wet behind the ears bluegrass horse fucker." - Another Damn Dan
I have one thing to say to that...
CROATOAN.
by purwho on Feb 7, 2011 8:20 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Dude, Purdue is Atlantis, off the coast of Georgia
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Notre Dame is the Dutch
They use to be really important but now they’re just more of a novelty that tourist vist when they want a side of pot brownies.
We've been over this before
ND is Russia. Uchicago might be the Dutch
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
No, no, no
Notre Dame is the British Empire. Comprised of stuffy white guys the British Empire Notre Dame once ruled wide stretches of the world college fooball on the strength of its navy NBC contract. The empire began to fall apart once the American Colonies the SEC realized they could throw off the yoke and rule the world themselves. Limited now to ultimately cheerleader status on the world stage, the British Fighting Irish, still exert influence belying their actual importance due to their deep pockets and well respected military powerful alumni network.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
U-S-A! S-E-C! U-S-A! S-E-C! U-S-A! S-E-C!
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Feb 8, 2011 9:05 AM EST up reply actions
these guys agree witcha
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2011 9:15 AM EST up reply actions
anger....rising...hard...to...
contain….looks like….AddaziooooOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHRAEG!!!
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Feb 8, 2011 10:47 AM EST up reply actions
/files for future reference
didnt even see that til now
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2011 11:01 AM EST up reply actions
"THINGS UP WITH WHICH YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO PUT"
/churchill’d
Sam Donaldson: Mr. President, in talking about the continuing recession tonight, you have blamed mistakes of the past, and you have blamed the Congress. Does any of the blame belong to you?
President Reagan: Yes, because for many years I was a Democrat.
by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 7, 2011 6:19 PM EST reply actions
Has anyone in history
had a more professionally done comb-over than Sam Donaldson?
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
Gene Keady
raises his hand.
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 6:40 PM EST up reply actions
The only missing element for Keady
is “professionally”.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
Absolutely true
but whenever the phrase “comb over” is used, my brain goes straight to Keady.
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 7, 2011 6:46 PM EST up reply actions
You may have a point there
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
I think the Russians
are actually running a pipeline through Azerbaijan to Keady’s do.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
by Epictetus on Feb 7, 2011 7:12 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
They hadn't accomplished it as of April 2010 when I met him...
but it would explain a lot with him working at St. John’s, and the proximity to Mikhail Prokhorov.
Still the best sign I've seen at any sporting event
For Keady’s last game at Breslin: “THANKS FOR COMBING OVER ONE LAST TIME”
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Anybody else uncomfortable with the opening montage of the superbowl?
mashing up the current superbowl with Normandy, the Civil Rights movement, and the Great Depression? Our house of grad students was a little appalled. I was more depressed than offended.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Feb 7, 2011 6:42 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
The thing connecting them all
is that they were almost as traumatic as Brett Favre’s retirement.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
did they hit the over on that, by the way?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Did you watch on Sky?
The football musings of Kevin and Nick Halling make Joe Buck look knowledgeable.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
no, I'm in the States. Though my dad mentioned how awful it was this morning in an e-mail.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Those guys are a 2 man object lesson
in the evils of national monopolies.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
Our house of grad students was more appalled by the groupon ads.
“The rainforests are dying at the rate of acres per second, but fuck it ’cause I just got a cheap massage thanks to Groupon!”
I’m confused by your message (or lack thereof), Ms. Hurley.
The Audi commercial, however, was top shelf
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Every time I see the word Groupon
I visualize a tampon with multiple applicators.
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
by Epictetus on Feb 7, 2011 7:16 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Top Super Bowl commercial award goes to
Chrysler and Eminem. Imported From Detroit.
Real sports nut, huh?
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on Feb 7, 2011 7:34 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
The Yugo was imported from Yugoslavia, instantly assuring that no one would buy it
Branding something as imported “from Detroit” might have the same impact. Though, to be fair, I hope never to buy anything made in Spartanburg besides fireworks.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
At least Detroit didn't have a violent dissolution marked by sectarian violence and ethnic clensing
And it has not been for lack of trying.
Too soon for jokes about the 1968 riots and white flight?
by Mango Stasi on Feb 7, 2011 8:28 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
in response:
SpartanGator says an emphatic No.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 7, 2011 11:26 PM EST up reply actions
Clearly
Making fun of Detroit is about the best way to improve it. It makes as much difference as electing a new mayor.
Sparty on. Gator done.
I definitely agree
The balsiness of it was awesome. And not in the way Groupon was ballsy.
"Half my fucking age…. Kiss my Alabama ass you wet behind the ears bluegrass horse fucker." - Another Damn Dan
I'm still rolling with tiny Darth Vader.
Though that Eminem Chrysler ad was brilliant and beautiful.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I think I'm actually going to go with the Ozzy ad
“What’s a Bieber?” was probably the best line of the whole SB.
GAHHHHH
My dad, who raised us all on Mopar, killed any enjoyment I got out of the Eminem Chrysler ad
When the screen displayed the “new Chrysler 200,” my dad looked at me and said, “So is that like the Chrysler 300 but only 2/3rds as good? Because I’ve driven your car, and I wouldn’t want to know what 2/3rds of that would be.”
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Michael Scott thinks the new 200 is pretty awesome.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on Feb 8, 2011 9:33 AM EST up reply actions
I loved wee Darth
But the Eminem Chrysler ad provoked a visceral reaction in me. As much as I rail against this place, it’s home, and that ad expressed it well.
Still not going to buy a Chrysler 200, though.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
On a somewhat related note
Why do all the kids I employ, upon seeing my car, tell me I should get the “grille that makes it look like a Rolls?” Are people really that dumb that they would confuse a 300C with a Phantom regardless of the grille?
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Are people really that dumb....
Yes. The answer is yes.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
With that introduction, no matter what dropped words the ellipsis represents,
“Yes” is a safe answer.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 8, 2011 11:12 PM EST up reply actions
I'm just guessing people have never seen a phantom
because seriously folks, it’s about the size of a minivan
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I mean they're definitely really similar, but they're also pretty easy to tell apart, at least for me
Phantom Sedan
300C with “Phantom like grille”
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
A Phantom is HUGE. I mean, you could probably fit a 300C inside of one.
Also, If you’re in the market for that kind of car, why a Rolls? A maybach is a better car, a Bentley or 760 less flashy. I mean, really, I’m getting a 760 if I’m in that market.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
They're both silver and around the same size
I wouldn’t know enough to be impressed with either of them.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 8, 2011 11:08 PM EST up reply actions
Rolls-Royce Phantom two. 4.3 litre, 30 horsepower, six cylinder engine, with Stromberg downdraft carburetor, can go from zero to 100 kilometres an hour in 12.5 seconds. And I even like the color.
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Feb 8, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Rec'd for Jerzy Balovsky transformed into some sort of sheikh =)
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
S'funny how some people love "irreverent humor"
until it’s their particular reverences being irreverred.
Sam Donaldson: Mr. President, in talking about the continuing recession tonight, you have blamed mistakes of the past, and you have blamed the Congress. Does any of the blame belong to you?
President Reagan: Yes, because for many years I was a Democrat.
by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 7, 2011 8:03 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I thought those were funny
look, if you’ve got your PhD from Yale like James Franco is doing (in English, but whatever) I can respect you on an intellectual level, and will listen to you talk about genocide in Africa with a credible ear. If I believe that your best understanding of a regression is a weight loss tactic then you have no authority to lecture me on deforestation. They deserve to be lampooned.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
PhD in English from Yale...
…only gives a person the right to correct me when I misstate the preferred undergarments of the Bronte sisters.
What it specifically does not give them is any authority on any subject outside of their speciality. If their phd is in polisci, gov affairs, etc. then their pov has some credibility on the subject of genocide in Africa. If not, their level of schooling is no more relevant then that of my proctologist…and he has the good sense not to subject me to his politically tinged views of geo-political events while he is examining one of the dark places of the earth.
I'm willing to believe, to get into Yale, he had to take some classes at whatever undergrad he went to in the area
and get A’s. I at least trust him to be articulate, perhaps well-read, and probably a bit informed on theories of political economy. I’m a behavioral economist, and the ideas behind political economy are not all that difficult, so if a guy as bright as James Franco (or others) shows interest I have faith that he’s done some research. I’ll at least respect his opinion. You don’t need a PhD to be able to hold intelligent discourse on a subject, but you should probably know more than the lay.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Ass...You...Me
All of those reasons for which you choose to give Franco, in this case, the benefit ot the doubt are little more than assumptions. Assumptions that you are willing to make based soley on a degree that was earned in an unrelated field. The world around us is full of highly educated people in one field that are less than useless in another that is crowded with ‘lay’ people, as you put it, that are far more knowledgeable.
As for Franco, while a Phd in English would indicate that he is a well-read individual there is no proof that his reading list goes beyond that field. Conrad may have given him some insights into Africa but authors like Hobbes and Locke are far more germane to the subject matter you indicated. Is Franco able to differentiate between Kitchner and Gordon…Dallaire and Mackenzie? Does he know where Omdurman or Roarke’s Drift are? And that is just sticking with a couple of highlights that share a common source with his degree, and says nothing about his knowledge of Kagame, Museveni, al-Bashit or Deby. No, until he demonstrates such knowledge I’ll pay his degree no deference on matters outside its defined course of study.
A PhD means you know a lot about one narrow area.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you know jack shit about anything else.
Depending on the field, a PhD is often going to work against you if the job you’re being hired for isn’t extremely closely related to your dissertation – if you’re looking for someone for a signal processing job, a B.S. EE – especially one who took a couple of signal processing technical electives – is almost certainly going to be more attractive than a PhD on control systems. (Even if the B.S. didn’t have signal processing as a technical elective, they’re certain to have studied it more recently than the PhD who spent years focusing on a separate branch of EE.) If that’s true of someone in a moderately related field, it’s much more so of someone in a more distant field.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Exactly. Groupon had some of the best spots of the night.
I am semi-surprised at the number of self-identified smart people who did not recognize they were not making fun of the issues, but of the people who wear “causes” like a fashion statement. Besides, the overwhelming majority of regular people who claim ____ is one of the great tragedies of the day are not putting forth one-tenth the effort to improve/reverse/stop it relative to their outrage.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 8, 2011 11:18 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Bingo.
Certainly not taking a side on the issue, but I guarentee that probably 15% of people were pissed off at the snickers commerical simply because the loggers were not villified.
Same with those who accuse the show “King of the Hill” of being xenophobic, because Hank Hill is actually not a bad guy.
Deadspin: by douche bags, for douche bags.
Logging is an important part of conservation. Seriously.
PSA provided by me- my dad, and about half my family, have worked for the California Forest Service at some point in time.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Ag or Interior
Agreed whole-heartedly.
It is, ugh…interesting to see certain people frustrated by the differences in the ‘rules’ for National Parks and those for National Forests. There’s got to be a balance if the gov expects some semblance of acceptance by one group of the other.
The Super Bore
couldn’t hold a candle to the drama of Auburn v Oregon….why can’t everyone see this as clearly as we do?
Vandy football - challenging the sanity of even the most stoic of philosophers
Becasue everyone is fucking stupid.
/obvious’d
THAT'S RIGHT, Kenny Wheaton you did. You cut back into GREATNESS.
by HoodRiverDuck on Feb 7, 2011 7:17 PM EST up reply actions
No thanks
I like my college football sans Joe Buck, Black Eyed Peas and not funny commercials mostly involving people getting hit by drink containers (I’ve been to Colombus – those things hurt).
Gotta keep it indie, keep the corporations out of it. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go pick up some more Tostidos to go with my Rotel queso dip.
by Mango Stasi on Feb 7, 2011 8:20 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Disagreed
But I’m a Packer fan. I was on the edge of my seat for the entire second half. My fiancee actually told me that I wasn’t being very fun, because I was too nervous to be of good company.
It’s blasphemy here, but I don’t understand why the “which is better” argument even exists. College Football and the NFL are too completely different games that happen to operate under similar rule sets. Why must liking one have to go along with hating the other? They are very rarely, if ever, in direct competition. I will always find a competitive Superbowl to be more exciting than a competitive BCS Championship game because the latter lacks the finality of the former. In the BCS there will always be questions about whether or not the champion has truly been crowned, that puts a damper on the game for me.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
They are different, and there about 4 or 5 people in the world with whom I will comfortably watch one of "my teams"
Which is why the most terrifying part to me of a NFL-lockout with missed games is a bunch of misplaced NFL fans suddenly thinking they can tell me something about college ball.
On a similar Packer note, I was in that fan state of excited, terrified, bitter, and anxious. I also realized that it was about the same feeling as any regular season college game for me. After a little self-analysis of my reaction and mental state Sunday, I told my wife that when ND wins a title again I am giving her the car keys, wallet, and credit card as to limit the aftermath of the clinically manic state.
"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe ... when he desires them."
by the beefy ghost of prop joe on Feb 8, 2011 9:33 AM EST up reply actions
I gave a free drink to the entire bar on Sunday
and had the fiancee not basically muzzled me after I yelled “HAVE A ROUND ON ME!” I don’t know where that would have ended up. Probably with me destroying any potential profits the Super Bowl brought in.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Coaches who'd actually wanna be out killing people
Carl and Bo have gone behind enemy lines, sir—far, far beyond the terms of engagement defined in their original mission. Their methods have become…unsound. Their mental state…unstable.
So, in this scenario, who becomes Martin Sheen slogging up the Platte in a Swift boat, Jim Delaney?
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
Dantonio
He looks the part and he’s even got the heart attack part down pat.
by Mango Stasi on Feb 7, 2011 11:31 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
OT: Contiuation from Friday's CI on our crazy workouts
First day back since heinously cold south Texas weather last week…knees are killin me, but my squat cleans LOOKED awesome. Hope the rest of you worked off your beer from this weekend!
Back at it this morning by 5:45.
I’m not going to say I worked off all the beer from this weekend- I do not want Rhabdo- but I gave it my best shot.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
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