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ACC schools as biblical figures, featuring Clemson as...


In the spirit of previous lists for the $EC, B1G and XII-II is a list for ACC schools as things from the Bible. More importantly, it's another excuse to say Fck Clemson! The list after the jump...

Boston College – the Apocrypha; while most people know it actually exists, it's only used by Catholics.

 

Clemson – Solomon's harem; Why? Because FUCK CLEMSON, that's why!

 

Duke – the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse; when they dominate the scene again, it will be a sure sign of the end of times.

 

Florida State – Goliath; initially dominates everything around it, but is done in by its own hubris.

 

Georgia Tech – Saul; for many years a (SEC) heathen until his conversion.

 

Maryland – Esther; capable of going a whole season/book without mentioning football/God.

 

Miami – the minor prophets; they come in with great expectations but can't deliver them.

 

North Carolina – the Pharisees; they try and fail to dictate the rules and balance sacred and Roman law (football and that sport which shall not be named).

 

NC State – the apostles; tried to usurp the authority of the Pharisees, sometimes succeeding but sometimes with disastrous results.

 

Virginia – Esau and

Virginia Tech – Jacob; Esau is born with the birthright of domination over the fertile areas (the 757), but is tricked into giving it to Jacob, who then uses it to take over the whole of Canaan.

 

Wake Forest – fundamental Baptists; they think the game should still be played the way it was in 1611, er, 1953.

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