BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T ASK: LET'S HELP JADEVEON CLOWNEY CHOOSE A SCHOOL
by Spencer Hall on Feb 10, 2011 1:57 PM EST
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Jadeveon Clowney will have to choose between South Carolina and Clemson soon. Soon in this instance indicates a timeframe stretching sometime between now and the deadline to register for classes at either school for the fall. (Attention Clowney brain trust: THERE IS NO HOLDOUT IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL REPEAT THERE IS NO HOLDOUT.)
The choice may seem odd for the uninitiated: both schools boast remarkable similarities in student body makeup, academic profile, cultural overlap, and history. How can this be such a hard choice, especially with both schools keeping Clowney, the nation's number one defensive end overall coming out of high school, close to his ancestral home of Rock Hill, South Carolina?*
*The ancestral home where he broke his way out of his rock-egg and took his place among the other rock giants. They stride along Rock Hill unbidden and unowned, free men who smell a finer air than we do while living centuries under nothing like the tyranny the rest of South Carolina experienced under its despotic leader ROBOSTROM. Even the reanimated brain of Strom Thurmond kept alive in a robot carapace fears the rock people of Rock Hill, and lets them live unmolested by the greedy hand of his kleptocratic rule.
The two school are very different, in fact, something we'll help highlight in this edition of EDSBS: Because You Didn't Ask (Free Advice).
CONFERENCE.
The ACC produces almost as much talent as the SEC in the NFL draft, and usually without falling prey to many of the sketchy academic practices and recruiting chicanery found in the SEC. If and when Clemson wins a conference title, it will take place in a stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina in front of tens of thousands of interested fans. Your media day has an infinitely better spread to mack on, and your reporters probably won't ask you for autographs. It's a nice conference, just like a coffee table or a cup of tea can be "nice."
In the SEC people will leave death threats on your Facebook page while simultaneously naming their children after you. The conference championship game happens in the Georgia Dome, a building heated by the breath of homeless people who sleep underneath and around it in downtown Atlanta. You may not ever have to go to a class that isn't just filling out ScanTron cards. Boosters will give you money improperly and with frequency because they do not care about the rules. This is true at every school in the conference, and only the degrees of insane corruption vary.
Final note: no one will ever try to tip over your bus and set you on fire on the way into an ACC game, and they will never be your home fans, most certainly. We promise this part is true.
Advantage: SEC/South Carolina
SEX
A conundrum since one in four college students have an STD, meaning your odds are bad wherever you go. This is a trick question, however, since the city of Columbia, South Carolina is actually made of pure syphilis. Quality may be slightly higher on the SEC side, since you don't get syphilis by being an ugly introvert, but still.
Advantage: Clemson
VARIETY OF EVENTUAL LOSS/DISAPPOINTMENT
The same for both teams, since Clemson and South Carolina both botch seasons in a variety of exciting ways. Both have flopped heinously on big national stages (see Tommy Bowden's 2008 opener or the Arkansas game last year for South Carolina.) Both have run out to good records and overblown national rankings before flailing late; both have faceplanted early and recovered. For more consistency overall go with Clemson, but if in your chest beats the heart of a white-knuckled gambler and masochist, South Carolina has the edge on pure pain/payoff per season.
NO DECLARED ADVANTAGE
CAMPUS ENVIRONMENT
See "Columbia: made of syphilis and smells like tire fire." Also, no one has ever been carted off the field by human traffickers and sold for parts in the middle of a game, as happened to Blake Mitchell in the middle of the 2006 Georgia game. The locals will not lift a finger to help you, either, because they all get a cut both literally and figuratively. (Also, the question of whether Blake Mitchell was worth saving from bandits is a perfectly legitimate one from a football perspective.) Columbia is full of cannibal kidney salespeople, and we did not just make that up.
As with Auburn, we're not even sure if they have police in Clemson, or what they do if they do exist. They don't need them very often for anything, though, as bobcats with guns strapped to their paws rule the streets and keep a tight general public order. Feed them raw meat, and there will be no trouble.
Advantage: CLEMSON
COACH
One is a grown man named Dabo, and the other is Steve Spurrier.
Advantage: SOUTH CAROLINA
MASCOT
NOT EVEN REALLY A CHOICE IS THERE NOPE NO THERE'S NOT BABY I JUST PUT A HAMMER IN THE MICROWAVE LET'S SEE IF IT COMES TO LIFE AND DANCES I HOPE IT DOES HEY SPARKS---
Advantage: CLEMSON
FOOD
This is a serious matter, and it has to lean towards Columbia, whose sad residents eat their sorrows in a thousand tasty variations. This is more a matter of numbers due to Columbia's larger population and larger restaurant community, and due to the surprising tastiness of human meat smoked for hours over a wood fire and served with mustard sauce. Don't judge the long pig until you've tried it.
Advantage: SOUTH CAROLINA
CHAMPIONSHIP POTENTIAL: A tricky issue given South Carolina's position in the SEC, where they have one the SEC East title once in their history and have never so much as touched the conference championship. In contrast. Clemson has 13 ACC titles, though they haven't got a fresh one since 1991. Clemson has a clear advantage here, as Coach Rodriguez will probably bring one in sometime between 2012 and 2014 if current Coach Swinney continues to leave him this much talent.
Advantage: CLEMSON
CLIMATE: It comes down to one question with these two schools: do you want cursed blood-rain (Columbia), or charming tainted agricultural chemical rain (Clemson)? We opt for the latter, since it doesn't stain clothes.
Advantage: CLEMSON
APPAREL COMPATIBILITY: Garnet and Black is tricky, but it's not purple and orange, two colors we're not even sure really match together, much less in combination with anything else. Orange is the Genghis Khan of colors, fashion-wise: it gets along with nothing, obliterates everything it's placed with, and kills everyone who looks directly at it.
Advantage: SOUTH CAROLINA
That's a marginal break 5-4 to Clemson for Clowney's services. So glad we could make this easy for you, Mr. Clowney.
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Come February 14th
Either way;
33% of SC will hate him.
33% of SC will love him.
33% of SC was already consumed.
East Carolina Pirates - No Quarter
HE IS THE OTHER 1%.
East Carolina Pirates - No Quarter
by RjTheMetalhead on Feb 10, 2011 2:01 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Obligatory
Fuck Clemson?
/Clemson Grad
//What have I become?!?!?!
by moinllieon on Feb 10, 2011 2:01 PM EST reply actions 19 recs
AHHH THE PROCEDURE HAS WORKED
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Feb 10, 2011 2:02 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
/shakes head
i first read that as: “Remove the [four], fearless leader….”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 10, 2011 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
Too much IVLoko
Real sports nut, huh?
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on Feb 10, 2011 7:44 PM EST up reply actions
Fuck Clemson.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Feb 10, 2011 2:04 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
I agree...
Unless you want syphilis or some other dick-wrenching STD…in that case fuck SC
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
That might actually be an acceptable goal for the manchild
17165 students = approx 7827 females (45.6% of total) or about 30 per week for five years (“Redshirt year” takes on a whole new meaning in this case).
by sullivan013 on Feb 10, 2011 2:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Fuck Clemson.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:08 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
"As with Auburn"
Unless discussing waterfront property, this was redundant with regard to Clemson.
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
by gtne91 on Feb 10, 2011 2:09 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Extremely true
Excepting the lake, the only real difference in the two is that one is in Eastern Time Zone and one is in Central.
The buildings, people, climate etc. couldn’t be any more similar. They have hills though, I guess.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
How to tell you've spent too much time on the internet
I read “Rock Giant” and thought of this, even though I have never played one minute of World of Warcraft.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Feb 10, 2011 2:11 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
Damn it you beat me to it
Actual pre-snap game pic
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."-Bill Hicks
by Linoleum Knife on Feb 10, 2011 2:15 PM EST up reply actions
good god this just sums up everything
in the SEC people will leave death threats on your Facebook page while simultaneously naming their children after you
by Alabama ManDance on Feb 10, 2011 2:17 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
This was my myspace pic back when people had myspace
I like how the cop is all like, “Hey you guys break it up!” Nowadays he would just taser the shit out of em both. Plus I like seeing a defenseless gamecock getting the shit kicked out of him. Which usually happens pretty regularly at Williams-Brice
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
That game was the same weekend as the Ron Artest melee
It was also opening weekend of rifle deer hunting season. I was at “Deer Camp” with my family. It was a great weekend. For those unfamiliar with Deer Camp, about 20 adult males in my family go to a remote cabin in Northern Wisconsin for deer season. About 4 of us actually hunt. I would include myself in this, because I do buy a tag, but the only way I’m getting a deer is if it runs through the bar, past the card table and I hit it with the whisky bottle.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Feb 10, 2011 2:23 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
What is, "Deer hunting with the Orgeron," Alex?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:24 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Except Orgeron actually hunts that way.
How else would he feed his family?
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
If by "that way", you mean
tromping through the swamps and killing with his bare hands everything he comes across, then yes. Yes, he does.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 7:15 PM EST up reply actions
I think it was the very next day
2 days at the most. I remember they said they had been watching those highlights allday leading up to the game
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
"the Ron Artest melee"
Going to need you to be more specific.
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:26 PM EST up reply actions
The Malice at the Palace
DEEEEEEEEEEEETROIT!!
Sparty on. Gator done.
by SpartanGator on Feb 10, 2011 3:28 PM EST up reply actions
Deer hunting in Texas
sit in cabin. Drink. Wait for deer to come to feed station. shoot. Drain and clean. Repeat
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Feb 10, 2011 2:26 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Chipper Jones agrees with everything except "drain and clean."
He pays for other people to do his draining and cleaning, both of deer and his knees.
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:28 PM EST up reply actions
Feed Stations are highly illegal in Wisconsin
And I find them morally reprehensible. There is no sport there. This is also why I haven’t hunted with a firearm since I was a teenager.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Feb 10, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Just because they're illegal doesn't mean they aren't used
As long as it’s somewhere that the game warden can’t get to easily, you’re golden. Not that it makes it okay.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:32 PM EST up reply actions
I have actually defended people on criminal charges based upon using a feed station.
Wisconsin DNR does not fuck around.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 2:41 PM EST up reply actions
No DNR does
But if you put your feeder several miles into the woods and in a hard to reach location, you will have a hard time getting caught, also you have to do a good job of hiding the stand nearby or just using a climber.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:43 PM EST up reply actions
I once got a very large fine because I hit a duck with a speed boat
I swerved to miss a different duck and hit one I didn’t see. The DNR charged me with animal cruelty and inattentive boating.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Feb 10, 2011 2:44 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Property I used to hunt up in Wf'nV had a couple 'feed stations'
They were old apple trees left over from when the land supported a farm family. They moved off the land about 60 years ago and the forest swallowed it back up. You can’t see them from the dirt road or the old overgrown logging railroad grade.
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 10, 2011 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
These "feed stations" that I'm talking about
are large barrel like things filled with corn set to a timer that spits out corn whenever the timer goes off. The critters eventually get trained to head over to the feeder whenever they hear the corn ticking through the machine.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
I know what you mean, and would rat out
any man I found employing them.
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 10, 2011 2:50 PM EST up reply actions
Agreed and have
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Ordinarily
If you know where they are, you aren’t in a situation where ratting them out would be in your best interest. Either they’re yours or you’re poaching on someone elses land.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:53 PM EST up reply actions
Dang, color me schooled.
Deer stands pointed at deer feeders is the only way I’ve ever heard of to hunt deer. I guess it is pretty weak, huh? Never sounded fun to me anyway…I much prefer dove hunting walking around with a cold beer blastin birds.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Feb 10, 2011 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
They tried to get a dove hunting season going up here
Didn’t have much traction. Of course they also tried to make it legal to hunt feral cats.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
That's illegal?
Around here, that’s encouraged.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
apparently
It’s never really a problem for me. I live in a remote enough area that stray cats get eaten by larger predators. I once saw a bald eagle flying away with a rather large tabby in his talons.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
This works
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
cat equation
for m=animal
x=cat’s mass
if(m.mass<x+300, Eat(m),[think; (m.mass-200);goto3])
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I'm sorry.
I was told there would be no math with the snark?
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 7:20 PM EST up reply actions
It's just a loop, no math involved except the complex neural equation think
Think= Pratchett’s “equals” equation
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I've hunted deer both ways
If I’ve got a book, I don’t mind sittin in a tree. If I don’t, I like to walk around and just look for signs of deer and sit there and wait for them to come back. I don’t care much for baiting them.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 3:13 PM EST up reply actions
I thought the only proper way to kill a deer
Was by destroying a perfectly good radiator!
I like to shoot birds.
Deer hunting without tracking is just beer drinking if you ask me. And I know you all didn’t.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 10, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
I don't track until after I've shot one
But, I do use all the methods of tracking to determine where to put my tree stand.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Yeah, I'm several generations removed
from being able to track deer. Those things are good at hearing and smelling. I’m not good at not making sound and not smelling.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 3:19 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Too many friends from the Dakotas.
I think Texas is just weird with the feed stands. I think going out and finding a place to sit and wait is also acceptable.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 10, 2011 3:49 PM EST up reply actions
roommates dad was a Marine Sniper
he goes out in his ghillie and just sits there for hours. he has a 16 pointer up and supposedly got a bigger one this winter.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Grandfather was a rifle speacialist in the Korean.
The ’fam takes the rifle range very very serious.
I sight my shit in at 250 yards, and have memorized the drop past that for each load/rifle, ‘cuz out west when you’re hiking/tracking anything it is usually on the top of the next ridge when you get to the top of your ridge.
If you ain’t hiking/packing into an area. It ain’t hunting, it’s watching and waiting.
Dr. Ausgiano schools me in the classroom and on the field of battle
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Feb 10, 2011 5:14 PM EST up reply actions
Here Here!
Dr. Ausgiano schools me in the classroom and on the field of battle
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Feb 10, 2011 5:08 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think it's really hunting, but whatever. Stalk your prey
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
You know what's really funny?
Or a sad commentary on our society, but regardless:
They guy doing the kicking (Yusef Kelly) . . . is now a cop.
Not. Kidding.
follow us @rubrchickens
by rubrchickens on Feb 10, 2011 2:30 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
The Chicago Police Department
would like to speak with him about interesting career advancement opportunities.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
Mainly because
of this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GWsfCZnqYc
Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans--raw.
by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 10, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
In a word
lulz.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
Birmingham sees your "diversity"
And raises you a good ’ol beat down.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on Feb 11, 2011 7:59 AM EST up reply actions
Christ
that reminds me of Oscar Bluth’s beatdowns at the hands of the police.
Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans--raw.
by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 11, 2011 11:59 AM EST up reply actions
Yep.
Certainly, no other cops in the United States are violent assholes, nope nope nope.
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Also, nice product placement by Dasani
Those marketing geniuses at Coke (or Pepsi, I forget) don’t miss a trick.
follow us @rubrchickens
by rubrchickens on Feb 10, 2011 2:37 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I like the look on the hatless cop's face.
OH OH OH OH OH DON’T DO THAT OH MAN THAT’S REALLY GONNA HURT BUT I CAN’T TURN AWAY THIS IS LIKE AMERICAN HISTORY X
by hailtogeorgia on Feb 10, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
Just get out of South Carolina, son.
I used to shoot rats as a kid. Used to have to chase them out of the shithouses. All you have to do is go into the kitchen, huh?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 2:18 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
You didn't finish school, diddya?
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:22 PM EST up reply actions
May this food provide all the nourishment Jadeveon needs.
But if it does not, may he find comfort in knowing that the Auburn University Tiger Club is offering two hundred thousand dollars to any individual that will provide information putting Jadeveon in blue at Jordan-Hare Stadium for three years. Cash or check. We can make it out to them. Or to Jesus; whoever they want. Amen.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 2:33 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Rec'd.
Apropos Justified joke is apropos.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on Feb 11, 2011 8:00 AM EST up reply actions
Rec'd for using the best line of last night
Thanks for inviting me out today. I really needed some time to stop worrying about my love life.
--Well, you know, that's why God gave us baseball..... And war.
To Auburn?
People escape from not to Alabama. As much as we like to complain about the flood of transplants from Ohio and elsewhere, there’s a reason the people of central Alabama do not have the same problem.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 7:24 PM EST up reply actions
If 8-Ball's hammer plan had worked
I imagine it would yield something much like the Turner Field Tool Race. Only with fewer flaccid power drills.
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:21 PM EST reply actions 5 recs
So many cheap imitations of the Sausage Races out there these days
They all pale in comparison to the original.
The Chorizo has a special place in my heart, mostly because I love the Cerveceros jerseys
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
The high point of any Brewers home game:
Gambling on the sausage race. I’ve walked away with several beers as a result of Polish’s ability to pace the pack.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
Any Braves fans remember Mound Ball?
Or as I call it, “Let’s Give the Masses a Sanctioned Drinking Game?”
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:37 PM EST up reply actions
Last ball in play ends on the mound, you keep the pot?
We didn’t need a drinking game at a baseball game so we gambled (sort of) instead.
"the funny thing is she's on the internet
just look it up yourself"
by The Pylon That Relfed on Feb 10, 2011 2:45 PM EST up reply actions
won 80 bucks my first time at The Ted off Moundball
"well, obviously, before. after was all gendarmes and dick stitches." Duchess
by thetennesseethumper on Feb 10, 2011 8:49 PM EST up reply actions
Never bet on Bret-wurst
That guy has let me down one time too many
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
What injury did Sheets suffer after that pitch?
"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe ... when he desires them."
by the beefy ghost of prop joe on Feb 10, 2011 4:16 PM EST up reply actions
torn labia
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Feb 10, 2011 4:16 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
What didn't he hurt
He has the oddest collection of injuries.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
The tool race was better before it became interns pushing each other down on the warning track.
I liked it on the screen.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:33 PM EST up reply actions
Maybe, tool race tool?
I feel like hipster is interchangeable with tool.
But it was really better on the big screen. The ball hiding game is much better now I think, maybe because I am freaking awesome at it.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:42 PM EST up reply actions
I was paying electronically
before everyone got an I-Pass.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I hope he trolls the shit out of everyone
and goes to Purdue.
GAHHHHH
by broski on Feb 10, 2011 2:22 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
How does somone named Clowney....
get away from FSU?
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 10, 2011 2:25 PM EST up reply actions
OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE
If that happens, I will post my personal information. You all can find me at your own leisure and I will buy you a drink or twenty in celebration to the Rock God Clowney.
HOW CAN YOU POST PERSONAL INFORMATION YOU DON’T EXIST HURRRRRRRRR.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:32 PM EST up reply actions
Is it bad that as soon as I post something...
I immediately recognize any jokes regarding existence within the comments I just made?
Um.
Brain hurtz.
Moar ticky-tack debates over the meaning of words, plz.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:47 PM EST up reply actions
GRAB BAG JUMBOTRON
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I have heard it's somewhere inside here.....
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 10, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
It's like the bastion of existence in football
going to the bastion of non-existence in football.
Unstoppable force, immovable object, ya know.
WAT DO?
GAHHHHH
He'll probably run the grill next to the checkout counter
most gas stations round here are self-serve nowadays
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
And unlike Kiffin
he will probably be underemployed.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:29 PM EST up reply actions
Go to Carolina, young Rock Man
When Rodriguez gets there in 2012, your talents will be wasted. Rod cares not for defense.
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
Fuck Clemson?
Fuck South Carolina?
Like most 18-year old star athletes, Jadeveon time is preoccupied with who to fuck.
Be a man and fuck em both...
And go to MEEEEEEECHIGAN!!!
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
Optional career relevance is optional.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
It is just so ugly.
I know this makes zero sense because I am also a Browns fan and love their colors.
There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.
- Woody Hayes
by Culp's Freaking Hill on Feb 10, 2011 2:37 PM EST up reply actions
Brown... Purple...
Wait, are you color blind?
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
Most people also make fun of our colors as well.
Making fun of other people’s colors might not make a lot of sense when I am in fact nonsensical. Though maybe regardless of colors, being a Browns fan is at its core nonsensical.
There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.
- Woody Hayes
by Culp's Freaking Hill on Feb 10, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
I also think it's ugly and I bleed orange and blue.
FTR…VT…also ugly.
"That's a God thing right there."
Surprised there was no love..
for the fact that SoCaro’s mascot gives all students (male and female!) a chance to talk about how much they like Cock!!
/alwayslookingforgoodopeningline
You mean like this???
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 10, 2011 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
That's so Columbia
secretly the least hot SEC campus… she’s a USCe 10 for sure
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Arkansas would like to have a word with you, son.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 3:21 PM EST up reply actions
Truth
Vandy also underrated. And Miss St. ain’t bad (just from the girls who I know went there)
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
If we're going "ain't bad"....
South Carolina tops it. I’ve been there, and while it sure ain’t Athens, it’s gotta be better than Clemscum and Starkghanistan.
http://sportsandgrits.blogspot.com/
Columbia is not great. Worse than UNC for sure
I’ve spent a fair bit of time in Columbia. And the girls I know who went to MState actually tended towards knockout
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I thought UNC girls weren't actually "southern."
And I know a UNC law grad. And she’s super smart and nice.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 10, 2011 4:40 PM EST up reply actions
Good mix
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Not many other people in the conference
venture to Kentucky, so they don’t know what they’re missing. They have some very good looking girls, I think I saw one of the best looking girls I’ve ever seen at Keeneland this past year. Freakin 10
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 4:49 PM EST up reply actions
South Carolina/Columbia trails UGa/Athens, but we match up fine with the others I know of.
Saying we trail UGa in that area is like saying that guy’s not as tall as Manute though.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 8:04 PM EST up reply actions
bring it over. shape it down.
"well, obviously, before. after was all gendarmes and dick stitches." Duchess
by thetennesseethumper on Feb 10, 2011 8:59 PM EST up reply actions
Why didnt this article mention bama?
I thought it was down t those 3. Did he drop them off recently?
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
Not really.
He’s just going to chop himself into 120 pieces and every school in the country will have a new starting DE.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Feb 10, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
Choosing the right college
Haha this post was awesome! People take recruiting very seriously and I like how you broke down the components necessary for choosing a school. It’s not all about the athletics a school can provide but it’s also about the student body and academics. An athlete has to enjoy where he plays and the environment he lives in. Although you joke about it, athletes really do need to consider climate, food, town population, etc. in order to determine where their best fit is… after all college will last four years so they need to pick a place that will keep them happy.
You, sir,
are both a Communist and a Nazi.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
Good on you.
Rec’d
There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.
- Woody Hayes
by Culp's Freaking Hill on Feb 10, 2011 2:55 PM EST up reply actions
purwho
is going for the rare “2 greens in one comment section”.
I am going to help him on this quest.
/green’d
GAHHHHH
I'll make it so
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Sincere commentor is sincere
by Torgo's Executive Powder on Feb 10, 2011 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
Sincerety? On MY internet? GET IT OFF ME!
by purwho on Feb 10, 2011 2:47 PM EST up reply actions 10 recs
CoC though, right?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Northwestern.
From Charleston.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Feb 10, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
Damn you SEC types are fast
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Feb 10, 2011 3:05 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
and still a local hero here in Chucktown
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 10, 2011 3:11 PM EST up reply actions
Grew up in Charleston, went to Northwestern, IIRC
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
You're not very familiar with the point of this website, are you?
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
I don't know about y'all...
but this is entirely too reasonable.
I am offended.
Mods, please ban.
huh
What are you saying?
There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.
- Woody Hayes
by Culp's Freaking Hill on Feb 10, 2011 2:46 PM EST up reply actions
No, it's performance art.
Slow clap for the satire.
by BelmontVol on Feb 10, 2011 2:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It's too close to real... too close
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
sure seems suspicious when someone joins this blog...
and 4 min later makes a post…. come on Holly… fess up
"athletes really do need to consider climate, food, town population, etc."
NO THEY DON’T NO THEY DON’T THEY JUST WANT A NICE FANCY DEGREE AND A PROGRAM WITH TRADITIONZ.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:51 PM EST up reply actions
Back I say, back away from the Clowney..
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. ~ Lazarus Long (AKA Robert A. Heinlein)
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 10, 2011 2:52 PM EST up reply actions
This is how people end up in the upper midwest right?
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:54 PM EST up reply actions
Usually, it involves dogsled related hijinks
or a job in an industry that offshored to Indonesia sometime around 1987.
"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."
by Bob Genghiskhan on Feb 10, 2011 3:23 PM EST up reply actions
And real grass! and a distinct lack of jumbotronz!
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
DON'T FORGET SHINY THINGS
THEY LIKE SHINY THINGS
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
but if it doesn't stick to the helmets, and isn't shiny enough, what good is it?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Don't get me started on the paint again
STOP USING SILICONE IN THE PAINT GUN YOU GOD DAMNED MORONS
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
SHHH!!!
Don’t tell NDNation, but they’ve even got Muslims on the football team now
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH
Time for a new crusade.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 2:59 PM EST up reply actions
Fixed that for ya.
They’ve even got Muslims MOHAMMEDANS on the football team now
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 2:59 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Ishmaelites.
Call them… well, you know.
by vineyarddawg on Feb 10, 2011 3:08 PM EST up reply actions
That would be a liberal improvement over the current regime
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Feb 10, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Ranch is halal, right?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 3:01 PM EST up reply actions
depends
but it could be, sure
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Sharia Law in South Bend?
Then it is truly a Dogma eat Dogma world,….
by sullivan013 on Feb 10, 2011 3:01 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
A policy demanding the undergrads of South Bend wear veils should quickly gain traction
They already have the shapeless garments part down pat.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 7:52 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
Heartless, insensitive, cruel
and rec’d
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 8:35 PM EST up reply actions
We laugh because it's because we want to cry
We cry because it’s sad. It’s sad because it’s true
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
I think FSU had a Fagg on their team
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
dacody?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
My wife and I
joke that we were at ND under the affirmative action program, both being protestant and all.
"Hey--where's Perry?"
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 10, 2011 8:26 PM EST up reply actions
My wife and I
joke that we went to ND under affirmative action, both being Protestant and all
"Hey--where's Perry?"
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 10, 2011 9:24 PM EST up reply actions
Thanks for not plagiarizing.
Audemus jura nostra defendere
by animalcracker on Feb 11, 2011 1:41 AM EST up reply actions
Huh?
I had a login/logout posting derp, where it didn’t show up, so I posted it again. Now it shows up twice. I’m no legal expert, but last I checked you can’t plagiarize yourself.
"Hey--where's Perry?"
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 11, 2011 2:06 AM EST up reply actions
2011 Mississippi State football slogan:
“This time, we pay the guy”. Mississippi State Football 2011
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 10, 2011 2:56 PM EST up reply actions 10 recs
He's not in it for the money, Tennessee and Auburn didn't even make the cut
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
well obvs. You couldn't even buy Peyton a Heisman
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Hey that's unfair
everyone knows ESPN, the Freemasons, and the Greater Ann Arbor Chamber of Commerce conspired to steal the Heisman from Pey-Pey.
/actually happy that Woodson won a Super Bowl
by BelmontVol on Feb 10, 2011 3:05 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Nope: wrong fraternal society.
Anyone who can make Steve Gutenberg a star had to be in on the Peyton-Woodson fix.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I think they mentioned that on the last episode of 'Decoded' on the History Channel
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
History Channel is currently conducting an experiment to see how far they can lower their credibility
Monday’s Lineup
2 episodes of this, which at least has shreds of interesting history related items
Followed by an hour of this, which can only be the result of someone somewhere wanting “Larry” to read wikipedia for them
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Oh, Pawn Stars negotiations.
-How much you want for it?
-Um…uh…I was hoping for maybe $2000?
-I’ll give you $15.
-Well, my wife will be really mad if I bring this back home, so OK.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 3:31 PM EST up reply actions
What it really is is:
“How far you down?”
- $2000
-You can sell your kidney for that, i’ll give you $15.
-I guess I can get enough for the kidney to cover my losses and a flight back to demoines, so I’ll take it.
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Feb 10, 2011 3:33 PM EST up reply actions
Coming up next
on the Violence Channel:
Sam Donaldson: Mr. President, in talking about the continuing recession tonight, you have blamed mistakes of the past, and you have blamed the Congress. Does any of the blame belong to you?
President Reagan: Yes, because for many years I was a Democrat.
by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 10, 2011 3:39 PM EST up reply actions
Hmmm. Tiana Chavez's post had heart,
but “Football in the Groin” had a football in the groin.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 7:57 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Sincerely...
… as a former 18 year old boy, I can confirm that the “sex” category would have been the only consideration.
1. TEH SEXXXORZ!!!
2. playing time
they lied about both…
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Although there would be some consideration of
CHEETOZ AND TACO BELL OM NOM NOM NOM NOM SLEEP
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
Young man, I'd like a bit of your time
To tell you about Florida Atlantic University.
by BelmontVol on Feb 10, 2011 2:44 PM EST reply actions 8 recs
That is an unfair recruiting tactic sir
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
I try to picture Schnelly playing football
and I see him with the helmet with no facemask and a pipe clenched ’tween his teeth
Jadeveon, son, listen up
I spent the worst weekend of my life in Clemson – Damn near froze to death. And there ain’t nowhere to eat there. And really, do you want to play for a guy named “Dabo”. That’s a commie name if ever I heard one.
Or, you could play for the old fart in Columbia, who’d much rather be out on the golf course than watching your wonderfulness.
Come with me to the Dark Side, Tuscaloosa. We’ll fly your folks into town on our little jet, they can stay with Mama Saban, and we’ll send you off happy as a lark top the NFL after a couple more National Championships.
xoxo
Nick
You'd be pissed off too
if you were born into a group where having a blood clot at birth was a good sign and by your 11th birthday you’ve already killed your brother (half-brother?). To give it some flavor, no one ever took the time to paint/sketch/engrave a picture of you even though you’re one of the most well-know emperors ever and are responsible for the death of over 40 million people; or at least took the time to take care of the art.
There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.
- Woody Hayes
by Culp's Freaking Hill on Feb 10, 2011 2:45 PM EST reply actions
Appropriately, it DOES smell like a tire fire outside.
Looking at you, road construction crew putting down asphalt near the office.
Like SBMWV? Try PegPelvisPete! The same great taste of SBMWV w/50% more snark & just 140 characters per serving!
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Feb 10, 2011 2:45 PM EST reply actions
This is how messed up my life if
The smell of hot asphalt reminds me of summer. And makes me happy.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 10, 2011 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
Minnesota seasons
6 months of winter, 6 months of road construction.
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Down here, when it's not raining asphalt is going down somewhere.
Also, it just reminds me of my materials class. Making concrete and asphalt just to break it is fun.
Making a super concrete beam and breaking that was more fun.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 11, 2011 10:01 AM EST up reply actions
Fun trivia fact
Clemson’s purple is actually “Northwestern Purple” for reasons unknown.
The WWL will air his signing announcement ceremony live on Monday at 10:15 AM on SportsCenter
Can you imagine if ESPN existed when Herschel Walker waited until freaking Easter to sign with UGA?
Is he flying out to South Bend for the announcement?
I hear the soon-to-be-former CFB HOF makes a great place to launch a career.
Passing? Who needs passing?
by RamblinWreck007 on Feb 11, 2011 10:19 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
So, are we going to stick to our Fuck Clemson guns...
…or has “Holy fuck we’d have to play that thing four times” set in yet?
by This Original Guy on Feb 10, 2011 4:18 PM EST reply actions
As a young man who grew up in Rock Hill, SC and went on to matriculate
at Clemson University, I feel that I have an experienced and educated opinion in this matter. While I would highly encourage the young man to strap on the Tiger Paw helmet, rub Howard’s Rock, and run down the hill wearing the sacred #93 jersey…I would ultimately be doing him a great disservice.
With football as your vehicle, son, get as far as fuck away from Rock Hill as humanly possible. There are no words accurate enough to describe the hell hole-ness of this worn out, dried up, redneck bitch of a mill town. Use geography as your measuring stick and go to one of the four corners of the football playing world.
As always….Fuck Clemson.
Even though you are a Clemson man pushing him to Carolina,
I still can’t get behind the post as someone proud of his former mill-town birthplace.
Heartily endorse your sign off though.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Feb 10, 2011 8:00 PM EST up reply actions
At least you have 3 respectable HS football teams...
Lancaster is right next door and all we have is a track team in shoulder pads. How about lending us Northwestern? I would say South Pointe but i dont like their unis
"I'll go home and hug the wife and kids, and you know...watch someone else have misery tonight on TV." - Rich Rodriguez
In the spirit of what is apparently Sincere Commenter Day here at EDSBS:
I am optimistic about Notre Dame’s prospects for the 2011 season. The Irish return a veteran team that improved significantly over the course of last season, and face what appears to be a manageable schedule. However, my expectations are tempered by past disappointment and an uncertain quarterback situation, as well as anhnnnnnnghghghghGNGHA OMG OMG RETURN TO GLORY OMG 13-0 OMG KELLY IS LOU ARA KNUTE MOTHERFUCKING ROCKNE GLOR GLORY GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 10, 2011 6:33 PM EST reply actions
WE WILL RUSH FOR 900 YARDS A GAME AND WIN IN GLORIOUS PILES OF DUST
THE EAST IS RED! OR GOLD!
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
WAKE UP THOSE M'F'IN ECHOES!
If ND gets back to something like this
I will become a fan again.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
I don't think the half-jersey is ever going to make that kind of resurgence.
/Holy shit is that guy dead?
There was one game where Jerome Bettis hit an MSU guy so hard he went to the ND huddle by accident
we thought he was dead. The stadium went silent (I was 5 and really did think he was dead)
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I was more referring to Chris Zorich than the jersey itself.
I was in 10th grade that season and spent the rest of my FB career trying to BE Zorich.
"Wer viel Bier trinkt, schläft gut. Wer gut schläft, sündigt nicht. Und wer nicht sündigt, kommt in den Himmel!" Martin Luther
Hairsute doesn't begin to describe
Ran into a shirtless Zorich one year at BluesFest in Chicago. Damn! But several chicks were still into it so…Play on, Playa
/stillrocksthehalfshirtunderthelaxpads
Not dead, just incapacitated
When the Zorich begins to eat you, you are still alive
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
So if the ACC is a nice coffee table
Then this must be the SEC in comparison:
Nicer and always on top?
Real sports nut, huh?
by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on Feb 10, 2011 8:01 PM EST reply actions
The maddest I've ever made a state employee in SC
was when I was registering my car and pointed out to the lady serving me (who by the way had no less than 50 pieces of USC memorabilia in her little desk area including a Gamecock Barbie) that the SC license plates were Clemson colors:
The blue reads much more purple in person…
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
You only did that AFTER you got your plates, right?
Because Carolina DMV ladies are nothing to fuck with. When I lived in the area, it took me four trips to get my plates and licenses, including taking another test despite having a valid license already. There was a very good reason I looked like a serial killer in that DMV photo.
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
Yes I believe I was
holding it in my hand admiring it when I said that… teehee!
The USC Cocks pay my bills but the LSU Tigers have my heart.
by Anthropologal on Feb 11, 2011 5:43 PM EST up reply actions
If and when Clemson wins a conference title?
When??? What the hell happened to Fuck Climpsum?
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum."
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