FanPost

"Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just..."

[An overpass is suddenly illuminated with red and purple lights. Parkour enthusiasts rock their shit across the nightscape. A giant Dr. Pepper truck pulls up and Pit Bull starts changing lives.]

Dr-pepper-vida-23-commercial-with-pitbull_medium

via staging.templetv.net

"Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a--"

RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[The sound of a needle tearing across vinyl. A giant tiger with...dilated pupils appears. He seems excited.]

Clemson_tiger_medium_medium

via cdn2.sbnation.com

"HEY GUYS HEY GUYS HEY GUYS..."

"I LIKE YOUR SONG MR. BULL BUT FRANKLY I THINK IT'S A HUGE PILE OF DOGSHIT AND I WOULD KNOW BECAUSE I'M A TIGER WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND DOGSHIT AND WHAT I MEAN IS THAT I ATE DOGSHIT ONCE FOR TWENTY BUCKS BECAUSE FRANKLY I'M NOT A PUSSY AND I'VE SAID FRANKLY TWICE NOW WHO AM I NEWT GINGRICH HAHAHAHA THAT'S TOPICAL WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT OH YEAH YOUR SONG IS FUCKING TERRIBLE

I GUESS MY POINT IS THAT I HAVE SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR SOME OTHER VERSES OR PHRASES I MEAN YOU MAY LIKE REPEATING THE SAME STUPID ASININE FUCKTARDED SENTENCES A THOUSAND TIMES BUT I HAVE THIS BUDDY WITH SOME GREAT PEYOTE AND WE CAME UP WITH SOME OTHER PHRASES THAT IT SEEMS LIKE EVEN YOU COULD LUBE UP AND SMASH THROUGH YOUR EARS INTO YOUR SHINY HEAD

LET'S START WITH THE SUPER ULTRA HAPPY REMIX"

[A jaunty and incredibly appealing banjo/clarinet version revs up...]

7826_1145036304999_1200240225_30361242_6616948_n_medium_medium

via cdn2.sbnation.com

"Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just hug Will Stein. Let's all just--"

RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP

[A strange mix of ukelele and the horn section from The Godfather starts up]

Ap11120303766_original_crop_340x234_medium

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

"No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing as organized crime. No such thing--"

RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP

[A vaguely Jimmy Buffett feel enters the beat]

Dooley-muschamp_medium

via mrsec.com

"No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions, everything's fine. No questions--"

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP

[An absolutely psyche-destroying mix of dobro and phat beats is unleashed]

Kines_crop_340x234_medium

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

"YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW YAW YAW JOE KINES. YAW YAW--"

[Everything fucking explodes from pure insanity. The Tiger reappears, doing parkour in a manner which could only be described as "ironic, yet frenzied."]

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE CHRISTMASTIME WHERE'S THE CLOSEST WAFFLE HOUSE"

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