When the SEC finally goes to 16 in the year 2025, after the Melvin Ingram Clone Wars and a failed robit uprising that was lead by BLOODCHAMP that did not seem to have a decided schematic advantage, East Carolina should be the SEC's first choice for a new school to add! Why so?

Look a bunch of stupid reasons in a list:

-We care about football and baseball.

-We fill up our bitchin' football stadium up with people.

-We be all like in the top 25 for stickball attendance or something like that and number 2 for non BCS schools in footbaw.

-Basket... ball?

-We are Pirates.

-This:

-...... Did you know we're the Pirates and that's awesome right?

-We are not Clemson or Georgia Tech or Florida State or NC State or whatever ACC school you have thought about a million times before instead of ECU.

-Did I mention we like football? That is important right?

-North Carolina is a southern state right guys?

- If you lets us in we won't have to fax you our application every 15 minutes!

Rivalry Ideas!(Which are pretty stupid):

THE PAT DYE BOWL - East Carolina was Dye's first head coaching gig, he was pretty boss there giving us 48 wins in six seasons and a sweet SoCon championship in '76. His 72.4% win rate is still numero uno.

A few years later after a wild excursion to the wilds of Wyoming he went to Auburn where he would win a bunch of
SEC championships and games yo.

-Loser has to buy all of Dye's party liquor for a year.
-Winner gets a golden empty gin bottle on a stick that I think is better than the Corn peasant trophy thingy.

THE REDFISH TROPHY - Eastern North Carolina is a great place for redfish(or red drum or to some in Sakerlina spottail bass, why call a fish with non-terminal mouth a bass? that seems pretty stupid.[Wow I just went on a little rant there I may need a drink or two]) , a prized gamefish, as is Northeastern Florida and The Louisianian coast.

-Best 2 outta 3 between ECU, UF, and LSU gets a silver bull redfish trophy.

CAROLINA BBQ WAR - VINEGAR OR MUSTARD? Let a game between ECU and South Carolina decide for a year!

SEA BATTLE OF THE SEC EAST - ECU are the Pirates, Vandy the Commodores so obviously the field should be flooded with salt water and they should release a few bull and tiger sharks to spice things up.

-Winner gets a cannon trophy! or that anchor thingy Vandy has!

In summary:

Please to haz SEC invite in 2025 over South Alabama? and sweet zombie jesus that was a stupid waste of time.

Finally: