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[Deep in the bowels of the L.A. Memorial Coliseum. The door of the Trojans locker room swings open. Kiffin enters, hands to go box from El Cholo to Ed Orgeron}

BURRRRRPP!! Sup, bros! This is totally our like, bowl game. So let's go out there and do stuff to UC Irvine. We get to keep that totally sweet bell if we win. Anybody got a Tums or something?

So join me and my Bruins (PAC12 SOUTH PARTICIPANTS BABY!!! WOOO, HEY SHUT UP WE GOT A MEDAL!) wander through the desert aimlessly against the Barkley/Woods buzzsaw. If you get bored, Vegas vs SDSU or Tulane vs. Point Shaving Islanders will keep you awa...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Huh, what? 

Boats have been burned,people. Time to fight our way off this island!