EVERYBODY LISTEN UP! I CAN'T FIND MY BINKY! WHO WILL HELP ME FIND IT?
HEY COACH! HEY, HEY, HEY! I CAN DO IT! PUT ME IN COACH! THIS ONE TIME DOWN IN TIJUANA MY
DEALER FRIEND PABLO WAS MESSIN WITH ME AND HE THREW SOME HEROIN, I MEAN COOKIES, IN A PIT FILLED WITH RATS AND SAID HE BET I COULDN'T FIND IT WITHOUT GETTING MY EARS CHEWED OFF, BUT I FOUND IT! I MEAN THEM... SO I CAN TOTALLY FIND YOUR BINKY AND YOU CAN GIVE ME LIKE $50 OK?
HEY HALF-GRAM, I MEAN CRACK BABY DID YOU TAKE COACH'S BINKY? CUZ I REALLY NEED TO GET IT BACK TO HIM TO GET MY $50 SO I CAN
GET HIGH TAKE GRANNY TO CRACKER BARREL. NO? WELL DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS? I REALLY NEED TO FIND IT! I SHOULD ASK THE STUDENTS?
HEY YOU GUYS, COME HELP ME LOOK FOR DABO'S BINKY OK? WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER! IT WILL BE LIKE THAT TIME IN MIAMI WHEN
THE COLOMBIANS DISMEMBERED OUR FRIEND WITH A CHAINSAW AND YOU GUYS CAME TO SAVE ME AND WE KILLED ALL OF THEM WE WORKED ON THAT GROUP PROJECT IN ANTHROPOLOGY ABOUT CUBAN REFUGEES!
OMG DID YOU FIND IT? WAIT I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING!
HEY COACH - IS THIS ONE ON THE LEFT YOUR BINKY? B/C THESE TWO ON THE RIGHT ARE GOING HOME WITH ME. I NEED SOME HELP CLEANING OUT MY LITTER BOX AFTER I GOT REALLY HIGH AND ATE A BUNCH OF BEAN BURRITOS AND FRIED OKRA.
There was also a pretty intense football game with completely shitty officiating. Clemson pulled it out in the end and a good time was had by all. Except for the 50 Wake Forest fans. Apparently Bill Murray was in attendance and some senior got engaged. I had Dippin Dots and nachos so it was definitely a success. Seeing 8-Ball in person was the highlight of the trip for me - can you tell? The end.