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- Paul Pasqualoni stood next to a leaky microwave in 1984 and has seen everyone without their skin ever since. He is still not used to it.
- Paul Pasqualoni has been sitting in an abandoned mansion he declared "Squatter's rule" in for 3 days smoking crystal meth.
- Paul Pasqualoni just realized the Big East now has negative teams, and in fact owes other conferences teams.
Paul Pasqualoni thinks Silvo Berlusconi is a gentleman's gentleman and can't understand the hubbub about his lifestyle and casually sexist public remarks.
Medical science pulled the cord on Paul Pasqualoni years ago and somehow he survives without a heart beat, pulse, or any discernible brain waves.
Paul Pasqualoni is about to strike. Go limp; perhaps he will lose interest.
Paul Pasqualoni should not be used if you've had liver or kidney problems or have taken Paul Pasqualoni in the last 60 days.
Paul Pasqualoni has just been told that A Beautiful Mind is not a comedy.
Paul Pasqualoni has just been told that Steve Jobs is dead, and what will all the Steves do for a living oh nooooo---
Paul Pasqualoni just relieved himself after 5 days of irregularity. This is the closest feeling to love he's felt in years.
Paul Pasqualoni's digestive system is like the Sarlacc's. He is currently working on digesting a ham sandwich he ate in 1998.
Paul Pasqualoni thinks "schizophrenia" is an offensive slanderous term. He prefers "open minded."
Paul Pasqualoni is reliving his own birth continuously on a loop. Western medicine has treatment options, but he's content seeing where this goes.
Paul Pasqualoni is concentrating on making himself explode. It hasn't worked in 40 years of trying, but he's no quitter.
Paul Pasqualoni is just hearing this, over and over and over again.
Paul Pasqualoni is watching Paul Finebaum on Outside the Lines.
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