MY PAINKILLER IS TALKING TO THE MEDIA. If you didn't watch the Cal/Oregon game last night, know a few things about LaMichael James' injury. Know that when it happened, we really think Jesse Palmer dry-heaved on air. Know that it looked so bad we'll just link to the video, and tell you that you can spoil your own breakfast your damn self. Know that it looked so bad at the time, and that Kenjon Barner was holding James' hand as he writhed on the ground in obvious agony.
And also know that it's not big deal, and that LaMichael has done this before, and that in lieu of taking painkillers, he talks to the media.
LaMichael James might not be completely human, and that's fine with us because it has to be: as the next step in human evolution, all we can do is welcome our new species overlord. Cal fans were justifiably awed by the 22 point third quarter Oregon unloaded on the Bears, thus adding to the evidence that everything would be okay for most teams if they could just avoid playing a third quarter against Oregon.
"HE'S LIKE THE HISPANIC ALBERT PUJOLS." In the midst of fluffy fluff fluffness on Jeff Driskel, there is this magical quote:
"He was called the white Babe Ruth," Goodwin said. "He said it felt kind of awkward because he was one of the bigger kids. But he liked everyone there and said everyone was nice to him."
WOOOO FRIED EVERYTHING. Peter has five things that a Texas victory hinges on in the Red River Shootout, and it will always be that so stop saying it's anything but a firearm-based rivalry. Crimson and Cream Machine says Texas is very young. This article informs you that Case McCoy has scleroderma, and that is not a pleasant thing to have.
BARBARA DOOLEY WILL DRIVE TO YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS AND KICK YOUR ASS. No, she will.
COME ON SUNBEAST. The Big East will have a press conference today to address the departure of TCU, and probably just openly ask for someone, anyone to join the conference.