THE CONDIMENT/ANIMAL COMBINATION GOES NATIONWIDE
by Spencer Hall on Oct 4, 2011 12:11 PM EDT
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Tyrann Mathieu does have the honor of college football's most relevant name this year, combining internet meme and unholy football talent into a single nom de maimage: The Honey Badger. He does take what he wants, and does not come close to giving a fuck about it, so the name is appropriate. He also eats, like, eight or nine poisonous snakes at a time, scarfing them down like Fruit-By-The-Foot. (Ask any Louisianan: SNAKE MEAT STIMULATE THE VIRILITY GLANDS.)
The meme need not be limited to "Honey Badger," however. Please note the semantic power of the "Condiment/Animal" combination, which may be applied with success to any number of players. (And remember, we take our condiments very seriously at EDSBS.) Examples follow.
Stephen Garcia IS The Vaseline Sloth. Smooth, slow, poops once a week. Inexplicably adorable.
Case McCoy IS The Splenda Marmot. Kind of toothy, and a variation of another condiment Texans were overly fond of.
Joe Bauserman IS The Mayonnaise Tortoise. Self-explanatory.
Jarrett Lee IS The Light Ranch Dressing Donkey. Both being more useful than you're willing to admit.
Russell Wilson IS the Butter Panther. Stealthy, a killer, and now with a hint of real dairy flavor.
A.J. McCarron IS The Mojo Ocelot. It's obscure, but...you know, man.
Melvin Ingram IS The Tabasco Moose. Huge, peppery, and unstoppable. Also moves faster through the system or underbrush much faster than you think it should, and does damage the whole way.
Marcus Lattimore IS The Salty Warthog. Tough to take down, burns when poured into cuts.
Denard Robinson IS The Magic Shell Platypus. Kind of bullshit and clearly made up on the spot, but NOM NOM NOM MOAR PLZ.
Tajh Boyd IS The Nutella Otter. Playful, delicious, and like adorable otters is capable of ripping your throat out.
Matt Barkley is the Vanilla Heron. Majestic in flight, and often endangered despite his beauty.
Robert Woods is the Honey Mustard Jackalope. Yes, there are other options in the store, but I guess you really can get by with just this one.
Andrew Luck is the Sriracha Dolphin. Just awesome on all counts, and has saved humans on many occasions.
Courtney Upshaw IS the Habanero Sharktopus. Self-explanatory.
Nick Foles IS The Mustard Dingo. A tart and durable scavenger of yards.
Tyler Bray IS The Adobo Bonobo. Supwitchu, girl? Spicy, amorous, and someitmes falls out of trees.
Trent Richardson IS the Flaxseed Buffalo. Goes directly through you no matter the circumstances.
Taylor Martinez IS The Apple Pie Filling Ibex. Hard-headed, nimble, often associated with turnovers, and has no arms.
Robert Griffin III IS The Wasabi Grizzly. Powerful, intense, and like most bears will be dormant from January until he resurfaces in spring for the NFL Draft.
Tommy Rees is the Boysenberry Preserves Flying Squirrel Because dammit you dropped it again and now everything is purple.
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Jadeveon Clowney is the XO Black Mamba
Very hyped and OH SHIT RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
by Bobby Big Wheel on Oct 4, 2011 12:17 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Both of his tackles on Saturday were cool.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions 12 recs
Why do I want to give Landry Jones the name
Pace Mild Picante Mockingbird?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 12:18 PM EDT reply actions 27 recs
BECAUSE THAT IS PERFECT.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Oct 4, 2011 12:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I am stealing that logo for a shirt
let me know where to send the license fee
my wife bought Pace Mild Picante once,
once.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Oct 4, 2011 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions
and she got the Mockingbird pregnant?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Grounds for divorce right there.
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
Deonte Thompson is the Cocktail Sausage Peacock
Can’t catch shit, yet still goes to Media Days and hypes Me-ontes own play
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 12:19 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Re: 8 or 9 poisonous snakes at a time.
HORRIBLE DEXTER FLASHBACKS THX.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Barrett Trotter IS the Molasses Goat.
Both slow, both have beards.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
by allicolls on Oct 4, 2011 12:20 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Both have a high fiber diet and neither is Cam Newton
/sobs
This week Ted Roof will implement the Haterz defense
by cowcollege on Oct 4, 2011 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
a fainting goat?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions
New Purina Product
I heard Purina is coming out with a new Honey Badger food called “Jeff Driskell”
by Fear-the-Hat on Oct 4, 2011 12:23 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Alshon Jeffery is Leader-1.
Becasue Go-Bots are a step down from Transformers.
Oh look my tumblr, where you can find all my photoshops and other crap
Damon Magazu is awesome.
Sanity is for the weak.
by RjTheMetalhead on Oct 4, 2011 12:24 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Saban is Scooter?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2011 1:29 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Mike Sherman IS the Cottage Cheese Turtle.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Oct 4, 2011 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
I was trying to think of something with Sherm and maple syrup
Starts sweet, but too much and it slows ya down etc etc. Unfortunately, I have a giant headache and can’t quite cobble it together.
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions
So what kinda of conidiment/animal are Texas's threeve QBs?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions
White Bread Cerberus?
Obvious and 3 heads and snarls, but falls asleep to music and lays down?
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Neapolitan Ice Cream.
Garrett Gilbert is the sad, lonely, forsaken stripe of Strawberry that no one wants until all the chocolate and vanilla are gone.
by Albino Tornado on Oct 4, 2011 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Huh, different strokes I guess.
No one eats the chocolate in my household.
WHY BUY IT THEN?
I don’t know, I don’t go to the grocery store.
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, I'm not much of a gamblin man
But I think Oklahoma’s linebackers are just gonna call em “dinner”
/calls hook and ladder
//calls halfback pass
///runs wildcat
////Stoops sobs quietly
////FINISH HIM
/////Statue of Liberty wins the game
The University of Texas at Austin: A limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOO!
Then make sure YOU'RE LOOKING LIVE AT THE STATE FAIR IN TEXAS.
My irrational confidence grows every day.
The University of Texas at Austin: A limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOO!
I had some irrational confidence this time last week.
Didn’t work out so well.
by Albino Tornado on Oct 4, 2011 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Honestly? Best game i''ve ever thrown up through.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions
Pretty sure that's how the A&M game will end after A&M gets a 35-10 halftime lead
Don't pay attention to anything I just wrote. It's total bullshit.
by Slum C on Oct 4, 2011 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Hm, Case covered above
Ash is the Ssamjang Mockingbird. You’ve probably never heard of it unless you’re a local, but it’s pretty spicy and has a surprisingly effective capability to duplicate QB play from various different offensive schemes.
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions
QUIT STEALING OKLAHOMA BIRDS TEXAN
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions
QUIT STEALING LAND SOONER
The University of Texas at Austin: A limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOO!
BUT I GOT HERE FIRST
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions
/lone native american teardrop
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 1:02 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
HEY, you kicked them out of florida.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions
We aren't talking about me right now.
Does it count if we named the country club after the tribe we removed to preserve their memory?
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Totally cool.
as long as you give em a casino somewhere in the middle of nowhere and advertise it at baseball games 400 miles away.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I got that covered!
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
With an ugly orange blimp!
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
/Half Shawnee grandfather sips on beer with .45 in hand.
Oh look my tumblr, where you can find all my photoshops and other crap
Damon Magazu is awesome.
Sanity is for the weak.
by RjTheMetalhead on Oct 4, 2011 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions
/Cherokee great grandmother is "resting".
"Burn the black jerseys until they are ash. Then, burn the ashes."
by Black Prairie Bullpuppies on Oct 4, 2011 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Creek ancestors are getting killed by Andrew Jackson.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, I just caught that too
/stupid headache
//kicks dirt
///but not dirt stolen by Okies
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 12:54 PM EDT up reply actions
State bird of Oklahoma? Scissortail Flycatcher.
State bird of Texas? Mockingbird.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
MOCK
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions
YEAH
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
ING
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions
BIRD
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
YEAH
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 4:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Just had to wait all fuckin day didn't ya?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions
YEAH
[^^^^^^ you missed your queue]
Mr. Meehan, my sister Betty wants some inside dope on football!
by Burrito Electrico on Oct 4, 2011 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Will Stein IS the Jelly Chipmunk.
This week Ted Roof will implement the Haterz defense
by cowcollege on Oct 4, 2011 12:27 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
YAIS
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions
/EDSBS ladies line up and say:
“Please pass the jelly!”
I grew up listening to the American masters: Toni Tennille, Debbie Boone, Anne Murray--who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the crypto-homo rockers: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, David Bowie--who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada.
by DrBundy on Oct 4, 2011 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Well he does give me squeeze!!!
DOT EEE DEE EWE!!!
by Anthropologal on Oct 4, 2011 10:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Rece Davis is...the Metamucil Marmoset
He just keeps the shit flowin’ freely.
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
Between the colon (Lou Holtz) and the asshole (Mark May).
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
by Billy Gomila on Oct 4, 2011 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions 9 recs
Chris Relf IS the Fish-sauce Fire-newt.
Aged and limited in application, lifestages reverting back and forth, over-handling is toxic.
"Burn the black jerseys until they are ash. Then, burn the ashes."
by Black Prairie Bullpuppies on Oct 4, 2011 12:31 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
John Brantley IS the Defective Turret from Portal 2.
He can’t do anything meaningful, but he’s full of hilarious lines.
Author at Acme Packing Company, a Green Bay Packers blog, and Editor at BT Powerhouse, a Big Ten Basketball blog
#FireCraigJames
Follow @GSchofield50
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Oct 4, 2011 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Jeff Driskel IS
What this will be made of come Saturday.
/shameless plug
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
Then I guess I'm a cannibal.
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
You will be if you eat at my tailgate :)
I grew up listening to the American masters: Toni Tennille, Debbie Boone, Anne Murray--who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the crypto-homo rockers: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, David Bowie--who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada.
There will be gator?!
Hooray!
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
That should not even be a question.
The real question is more like, “Gator prepared how many ways?”
I grew up listening to the American masters: Toni Tennille, Debbie Boone, Anne Murray--who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the crypto-homo rockers: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, David Bowie--who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada.
I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Driskel is the Remoulade Rabbit
Looks scared, is rather quick, and will surely be devoured by Cajuns on Saturday.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Oct 4, 2011 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Hivemind
I was going to go with File Redfish because he is easily caught and will surely be devoured by Cajuns on Saturday
Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man. If anything made by God can be overcome; anything made by man can be overcome -- Gus Malzahn
It's almost too easy
given the sheer number and variety of critters that have turned up in Louisiana cookpots.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Oct 4, 2011 12:57 PM EDT up reply actions
#TeamMustardDingo is gonna' eat your baby
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Oct 4, 2011 12:32 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Vontaze Burfict IS the Vegemite Tasmanian Devil
Because he’ll rip you apart while leaving a horrible taste you’ll never forget.
"First Commandment? Give me the ball. Second Commandment? Give me the damn ball. Third Commandment? You are looking at him."
by cmill126 on Oct 4, 2011 12:32 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
That's good hustle.
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
by Billy Gomila on Oct 4, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions
i dont know
i saw da coach O jogging the other day. i pulled out my camera phone and waited for him to do something da coach O-ish. but he just kept calmly going, turned the corner, and disappeared into the night.
maybe he is more of a Peppery Peacock. with a little spice can be really showy…but ultimately still just an overgrown pheasant.
Was thinking "pretty good piece" until I saw the Tommy Rees one
Pretty Awesome Piece!
He who rides a tiger cannot dismount
Isaiah Crowell IS the NyQuil Lemur
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Oct 4, 2011 12:37 PM EDT reply actions
I though NyQuil was actually more of a beverage than a condiment.
This week Ted Roof will implement the Haterz defense
if you're doin it wrong.
Robotussin is a beverage, NyQuil is what goes on my pancakes.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Dude, you can't, like,
put medicine on food, and stuff.
"Burn the black jerseys until they are ash. Then, burn the ashes."
by Black Prairie Bullpuppies on Oct 4, 2011 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Challenge Accepted.
Does a milkshake count?
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, well, you know, that's just like your opinion, man.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Oct 4, 2011 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
The obviously you've never had one of these
by emc503 on Oct 4, 2011 12:43 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
WHAT THE VERY SHIT IS THAT.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
It appears to be Nyquil and a donut.
by Albino Tornado on Oct 4, 2011 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
FDA on line 1.
"Burn the black jerseys until they are ash. Then, burn the ashes."
by Black Prairie Bullpuppies on Oct 4, 2011 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Survey says...
The University of Texas at Austin: A limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOO!
by lhb98 on Oct 4, 2011 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Is that Alton Brown or David Hyde Pierce?
As they both get older, I find it harder to tell them apart.
"If I did not laugh, I should die." -- Abraham Lincoln
That's emaciated Alton Brown
He lost like a bajillion pounds a few years ago, looks weird.
Oh the beer flowed at Stradey, piped down from Felinfoel. And the hands that held the glasses high were strong from steel and coal. The air was filled with singing and I heard a grown man cry, not because we'd won but because the pubs ran dry...
So you can't tell if you're in a diabetic coma or a NyQuil coma?
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I took Dayquil and a Five Hour Energy last week: do not advise
The Holgorita
Imma hang up and listen
by El Andy on Oct 4, 2011 12:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Welp, I assumed that since they took the pseudophedrine out of the Dayquil, nothing would happen
Boy was I wrong
Imma hang up and listen
what happened
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
New Meth Recipe.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions
/tries 'New Meth'
//people hate it
///brings back ‘Original Meth’
////tries to claim ‘New’ was just a martketing ploy
...My soul ain't sold, but I've got it up for sale...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 4, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Forgot one part
/Tries ‘New Meth’
//People hate it
///Brings back ‘Original Meth’ (but now with cheaper ‘sugar’)
////tries to claim ‘New’ was a marketing ploy
/////Laughs maniacally to bank with $Texas profits due to cheap ‘sugar’ switch
THWG
/releases 'crystal meth'
That's a powerful adhesive!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2011 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
/releases 'blue meth'
"They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again."
/releases 'Diet Meth'
The University of Texas at Austin: A limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOO!
New Coke didnt have a sugar switch
The switch from sugar to HFCS was a few years before New Coke.
the secret ingredient is ... love?!
yes, please. Do tell.
"My mistress is pooped, the reds have Oklahoma, and I'm going to bed."
-Hodge Podge, Bloom County
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. "
"In practice, there is."-Yogi Berra
WTF WERE YOU THINKING!?
Author at Acme Packing Company, a Green Bay Packers blog, and Editor at BT Powerhouse, a Big Ten Basketball blog
#FireCraigJames
Follow @GSchofield50
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Oct 4, 2011 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions
But you can put it in your drank
We LEANin?
/Maan! Hold up, I got too much lean in my cup
It Ain't Easy, But It's Worth It.
Cause Cottage Cheese and Go-Bots are?
Fine, We’ll call it “Relaxation Sauce”
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Oct 4, 2011 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That's what I call bourbon.
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
by Billy Gomila on Oct 4, 2011 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Errybody got they own kinda' party likker
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Oct 4, 2011 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Bourbon makes me everything but relaxed. I haven't had it in 11 months.
and my death-threats are much less frequent.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Coach James Franklin is the Dijon Armadillo.
Posh, resilient, and about to walk in front of an 18-wheeler.
"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52
by VandyImport on Oct 4, 2011 12:42 PM EDT reply actions 17 recs
Casey Hayword is the Caviar Eagle
A rare breed of elite class and NFL calibar talent – something hard to find at Vanderbilt.
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
Which would make Coach Al Golden the Montreal Steak Seasoning Dugong
A perfectly good dude doing his own thing, when all of a sudden OMFG YOUR CAREER TASTES SOO GOOD I WAS SOO HUNGRY NEED MOAR REPUTATIONZ-Hey, where’d he go?
"My mistress is pooped, the reds have Oklahoma, and I'm going to bed."
-Hodge Podge, Bloom County
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. "
"In practice, there is."-Yogi Berra
Jared Lorenzen WAS the Buffalo Buffalo
Double the girth, double the nickname, double the fun!
For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo
No greater love, no sweeter sin, than red hot brass and ice cold gin.
by LoneStarHoosier on Oct 4, 2011 12:43 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Morgan Newton is the
Vinegar Titmouse
“Hard to swallow, yet somehow completely unnoticeable.
by Tobias Funke's jorts on Oct 4, 2011 12:44 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Maybe I'm a little naive around here,
but how is Vaseline a condiment? Although, as a Gamecock fan who sat through that bullshit game in Columbia on Saturday, I readily admit the Garcia analogy is accurate.
Mineral oil is closer
Passing? Who needs passing?
by RamblinWreck007 on Oct 4, 2011 12:52 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
You sir have never
found yourself without preserves when on an acid trip and craving PB&J
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
Was it that obvious?
/blushes
//hides head in shame
Stephen Garcia is the Homemade Ketchup Chia Pet
Things could go bad quickly and give your the runs, but all you have to do is fill him with liquids and “Watch Him Grow!”
by HogInAiken on Oct 4, 2011 12:51 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Paul Johnson is the Mrs. Renfro's Habanero Salsa Boar
It’s a rushing attack that can burn you coming and going.
Passing? Who needs passing?
by RamblinWreck007 on Oct 4, 2011 12:52 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 2 recs
That's good work
I was trying to.come up with a similar dual-burn threat. Whiskey Fire Ant?
F YOU WHISKEY IS A CONDIMENT
Our fight songs are actually about fighting. And drinking.
TWIT
by Buzzrock on Oct 4, 2011 2:37 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
aaron murray
the apple butter lemur
"I am a sinner that does not expect forgiveness. But I am not a government official."
Murray is the Horseradish Horse
Great if used in moderation, but if you start to rely on it too much you’re fucked and walking in shit.
Jesse Williams - the Hummus Hippo
A bit different, and strangely appealing in an exotic way, until he charges and crushes you into oblivion.
"Mom, Coach Wilson kept saying I 'hit like a hardened criminal.' That's good, right?" - My 8 yr-old nephew after his first day in full pads at Pee-Wee practice.
Vegemite Kangaroo
Uniquely Australian with a surprising kick.
Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man. If anything made by God can be overcome; anything made by man can be overcome -- Gus Malzahn
by Tuco on Oct 4, 2011 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Chris Petersen is the Pesto Turkey.
Tasty, precise and super affordable but just not “mainstream” enough to make it to the big table.
Edward Wright-Baker IS the Soy Sauce Poorly-Trained Seeing-Eye Dog
He’s just not very effective, and he’ll steadily raise your blood pressure without you even realizing it.
For God and country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo
No greater love, no sweeter sin, than red hot brass and ice cold gin.
by LoneStarHoosier on Oct 4, 2011 12:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Craig James is the A-1 Catfish
Shit-eater. Only enjoyed by people who abuse their meat.
by Craig Esherick's Mustache on Oct 4, 2011 12:54 PM EDT reply actions 18 recs
He (allegedly) murdered 5 hooks in a river close to SMU?
You know, I can see that…
"My mistress is pooped, the reds have Oklahoma, and I'm going to bed."
-Hodge Podge, Bloom County
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. "
"In practice, there is."-Yogi Berra
by Dogrel on Oct 4, 2011 1:09 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
the liquid gold sea anemone
don’t care.
"I am a sinner that does not expect forgiveness. But I am not a government official."
Michael Rocco/David Watford QB combo - Lemon-Butter Pushmi-Pullyu
Has some potential in interesting applications, but they are swapped out so often that neither is able to lead a team anywhere
A proud Wacavhoosabrelier. now on Twitter
by wahoocrew on Oct 4, 2011 1:00 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
And What Exactly is Vontaze Burfict?
He would like to know, and he is waiting on line 3
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
Clearly, Mr Burfict is the Old Bay Swarm of Crazy Ants
You like whatever he’s on, yet you still pray he doesn’t show up in your backyard, like, ever.
"My mistress is pooped, the reds have Oklahoma, and I'm going to bed."
-Hodge Podge, Bloom County
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. "
"In practice, there is."-Yogi Berra
by Dogrel on Oct 4, 2011 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Vontaze Burfict is a Bengal Tiger.
Author at Acme Packing Company, a Green Bay Packers blog, and Editor at BT Powerhouse, a Big Ten Basketball blog
#FireCraigJames
Follow @GSchofield50
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Oct 4, 2011 1:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Vontaze is...
This:
Crossed with this:
Keg: Meyer Lemon Belgian Wit
Keg: Black Rye Saison - ~6.5% ABV
Keg: Indian Brown Ale - ~6.5% ABV
Bourbon Barrel Aging: Imperial Porter - ~10% ABV
On Deck: Apalachicola Bay Oyster Stout
by Terry Bowden's Shoe Lifts on Oct 4, 2011 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Vontaze Burfict IS the Vinegar Chupacabra
Will kill you and drink your blood, then preserve your remains for the afterparty.
by SkyCaptain of Yesteryear on Oct 4, 2011 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Shamarko Thomas is the Nutella Tse Tse Fly
He can cover just about anything, but will also knock you the fuck out.
by Rocket Ship Science on Oct 4, 2011 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
Did someone say...
"Sweet home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long.
Jonathon Crompton is the Moonshine Catfish
no explanation needed.
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
NickBloomfield is My Hero.
Chris Rainey is the Bhut Jolokia Sauce Mantis
Can burn you in multiple ways, rather dangerous for romantic partners.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Oct 4, 2011 1:19 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Can that also be shut down completely by Alabama's defense?
Author at Acme Packing Company, a Green Bay Packers blog, and Editor at BT Powerhouse, a Big Ten Basketball blog
#FireCraigJames
Follow @GSchofield50
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Oct 4, 2011 1:29 PM EDT up reply actions
That defense could smother a fusion reaction
so yes, probably.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Oct 4, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Kellen Moore is the Black Pepper Raptor
Overlooked, fundamentally sound spice lacking major-league [arm] strength. Clever girl.
by Craig Esherick's Mustache on Oct 4, 2011 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Michael Dyer is the Pepper Jelly 12-point-that-I-almost-kilt-while-you-was-getting-more-beer
Awesome, yet overshadowed by his peers and Auburn fans just won’t shut up about it
by Emerszi on Oct 4, 2011 1:35 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
I'm glad he finally got the carries he's been deserving all year.
still think he’s way too cocky for a sophomore, but I hope he continues to get the ball while Kiehl is in the game.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm glad he finally got the carries he's been deserving all year.
still think he’s way too cocky for a sophomore, but I hope he continues to get the ball while Kiehl is in the game.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions
my b.
it was an accident.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Marcus Lattimore is the Dreamland BBQ Packmule
Highly touted hard worker, but despite being given ample opportunity has yet to impress Auburn folks.
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 1:42 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Mississippi State Receiving Corps are the Durkee's Gazelles
Fast, nimble, & graceful yet hooves are completely incapable of catching a football. Prone to erratic route changes unknown to their pursuers, quarterbacks.
Durkee’s because why the fuck not. It is the mystery sauce that epitomizes MSU’s preseason hype.
8/17/11 Nick Bloomfield on Finebaum. I WAS THERE.
by Sasquatch Love on Oct 4, 2011 1:58 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Never tried Durkee's sauce
My only knowledge of Durkee’s comes from camping trips:
“We’re out of garlic pepper. Go 10 miles back down the road to the gas station. They’ll have Durkee’s”
Passing? Who needs passing?
by RamblinWreck007 on Oct 4, 2011 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Ted Roof is the Horseradish Tarrasque
Induces horrific heartburn, wreaks havoc once every thousand years
by Gord the Rogue on Oct 4, 2011 2:19 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Austin Davis is the Mustard Buzzard
ya know.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2011 2:29 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
To prove that I am the supreme masochist
I’m actually considering going to UAB this weekend. This is after sitting through the debacle in Athens to the bitter end INCLUDING having a UGA fan two rows back throw up on us. (Or would that be throw down?)
Kudos to Athens & UGA fans in general (except you Pukey McVomiton) for being gracious, helpful, polite and generally fun to be around. Here’s to low expectations!
/drinks
8/17/11 Nick Bloomfield on Finebaum. I WAS THERE.
by Sasquatch Love on Oct 4, 2011 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions
To be fair
Ending up covered in someone else’s vomit is what it means to be a State fan though, right?
Also, I thought this was yall’s year. Or is it still possible?
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions
you fuckin nailed it, bro!
especially after watching them lose 3-2 to a perennial powerhouse. and 17-14 to a historically dominant program. and 41-34 to the team of the century.
and no, it is not still possible.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 5, 2011 9:50 AM EDT up reply actions
Have I already RSVP'd no for a Saturday wedding next September?
Yes
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
Twitter: gregory_forbes
by Pain in the Sash on Oct 4, 2011 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
And so I follow the rules
Marvin McNutt
The Goober Tree Frog
Because the kid is smooth like peanut butter, sticky like jam and has some leaps.
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
Twitter: gregory_forbes
by Pain in the Sash on Oct 4, 2011 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Braxton Miller
The Whatever-That-Is-On-Top-Of-Taco-Truck-Tacos Hamster.
Got all the physical tools, but you just can’t trust him. Because of this he tends to run in place a lot.
Dayne Crist IS the Vegemite Killer Rabbit.
Because hey this doesn’t look so bad it might actually OH MY GOD NO NO NO DO NOT WANT.
That's a powerful adhesive!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2011 2:54 PM EDT reply actions
Charlie Weis is the Bacon Mousse
Easy to find him & the missus on a FL beach – Many seagulls trail
Kirk Cousins = Booger Wallaby
always a sticky ball in his pouch for an untimely pick
John Goodman IS the Kashi Crab.
It only goes sideways and rapidly turns into shit.
That's a powerful adhesive!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2011 3:03 PM EDT reply actions
Marquis Maze - the Wasabi Sqirrell
Disarmingly harmless looking, but once you get hold of it you want to let go NOW.
"Mom, Coach Wilson kept saying I 'hit like a hardened criminal.' That's good, right?" - My 8 yr-old nephew after his first day in full pads at Pee-Wee practice.
Wait, Vaseline is a condiment?
This has major implications for both my eating and masturbating habits.
by Tracer Bullet on Oct 4, 2011 3:19 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
ewwwwwwwwww
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. --Einstein--
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 4, 2011 3:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Be careful of the converse error here.
That's a powerful adhesive!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2011 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Truffled Ferrit Fickell Fucker?
Zoology professors, please clarify.
Jacory Haris is the Miracle Whip Ferret
Becaus, yea, if that’s all you got, I guess I’ll take it.
Don't pay attention to anything I just wrote. It's total bullshit.
Sounds messy.
That's a powerful adhesive!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2011 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions
As a team, Minnesota is the Vegamite Cockroach
Because its just sooo awful and gross.
Don't pay attention to anything I just wrote. It's total bullshit.
David Wilson IS the Baconnaise Tiger
Fast, agile, and powerful like the tiger, his is a taste that would be great by itself, but is unfortunately surrounded by the disgusting emulsion of Curt Newsome and Mike O’Cain.
Joey Jones is the Foosackly's Sauce Jaguar.
Because Mobile folks are deservedly quite proud of him.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Joe Bauserman is the Ranch Bulldog
"Fandom is irrational and emotional and therefore should be fun." - Wolverine Liberation Army
Twitter: sportsgeek42
Now Playing: VIII
Rex Burkhead IS the Seasoned Salt Prize Hog.
He can do damned near anything, but Nebraskans tend to never give him enough credit.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Tevin Washington is the wasabi raccoon
He looks kind of cute and harmless, with just a hint of spiciness, and then you forget that those slotbacks and receivers do more than block, and OW, OW, GET HIM OFF MY DOG, HE’S KILLING IT!!
Either love your players or get out of coaching.
Ty Willingham is doughnut eggs
-0 and 12
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
by Matt Daddy on Oct 4, 2011 6:12 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Trent Richardson is the...
Balut Rhino….when you get a real good look at it, you don’t even want to try it
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Oct 4, 2011 7:44 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Oregon is the Chameleon Duck
Changes colors frequently in an attempt to hide its weaknesses but is often consumed by the much larger Tigers of the southeastern U.S.
I used to be a heroin addict. Now I'm a methadone addict.
by Tigerbiglikebull on Oct 4, 2011 8:14 PM EDT reply actions
Up top tiger bro!
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 11:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Ted Roof is....
The swiss cheese house fly. Full of holes and always one step ahead of the fly swatter!
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum."
Andre Branch is the Bhut Jolokia Sauced BBQ coyote...
He feeds on turkeys in the hills. You might not see him coming, but you will feel him in the morning.
"You might not see him coming, but you feel him the morning".
That’s what she said?
I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two- Talking Heads
by Tracy Rocker's Appetite on Oct 4, 2011 11:35 PM EDT up reply actions
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