FanPost

How Paul Johnson spent his last 30 minutes before the game.

 

1. Made Al Groh sacrifice an entire beehive to gain more power. (40 seconds)
2. Made Attaochu apply salve to Groh’s face and hands. (1 minute 35 seconds)
3. Sat down and drank a coke, to gain more energy and therefore power. (1 minute 2 seconds )
4. Listened to Run-DMC’s "It’s Tricky", nodded to the beat accordingly. (3 minutes and 3 seconds)
5. Found a pretty whore on the street to show the boys what real women look like, so they would gain more power. (5 Minutes, 27 seconds)
6. Contacted The Master to ask how I could defeat Clemson, he seemed preoccupied with trolling my companion by appearing as his ex-wife, but he said "Let Clemson fuck themselves first before proceeding to fuck them." (5 minutes 54 seconds)

7. Got really, really high and forgot what I wanted to do. (1 minute, 25 seconds.)

8. Remembered that I was supposed to contact my spirit animal after getting high, did so and found out I was talking to a honey badger in Louisiana who told me to "Run the option, alot bruh DUH." before coughing and hanging up.(1 minute, 9 seconds)
9. Found Dabo’s binky, threw it in the furnace, to gain more power. (45 seconds)
10. Wondered why Dabo’s binky was in Tevin Washington’s locker in the first place. (15 seconds)
11. Drank some of the good old Western NC moonshine I keep in my flask. (1 minute 3.3 seconds)
12. Wondered who the 1% really is. (35 seconds)
13. Decided that the 1% must have been women who went to Ga. Tech. (1.7 seconds)
14. Played "Crazy Train", to get the boys fired up. (4 minutes, 56 seconds)
15. Decided that Crazy Train is not an effective way to motivate the boys or anyone for that matter. (6 seconds)
16. Ran out onto the field.(2 minutes, 3 seconds)
In summary: Time spent giving fucks: 0 seconds.

(repost from comments)

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