FanPost

Special Commentary on NCAA Decision-making by Alanis Morissette

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A 34-year-old prick landed the USC gig
Thought he’d won the lottery but the NCAA
Said two Christmas breaks at home, took took the Dynasty away
Got a death row pardon but now the roster's too big
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like RAAAAIIIIN on my Saturday
It’s a free ride, but you also get paid
It’s the stolen laptop that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… six figures!

Mr. Play It Safe said punt to win
He deleted bad emails, but didn’t empty the Trash Bin
He waited his whole damn life to match SEC skill
And as the team crashed down he thought
"Shoulda’ known in April…"
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?

It's like RAAAAIIIIN on my Saturday
Cecil Newton lied, it was all on that tape
Mississippi State saw it all slip away
Over--who would’ve thought?--six figures!

Pat Dye has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think it’s "just okay" and making everything "just right"
Trooper Taylor has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong while waiving that towel
In your face

It’s a traffic jam in a booster’s car
A jetski slam in Miami Harbor
It’s a $10,000 bounty but you can’t get one sack
It’s screwing the stripper of your dreams
And then blacking out on Four Loko and crack
And isn’t it moronic…don’t you think
That yacht was the Titanic… watch the whole program sink

It's like RAAAAIIIIN on my Saturday
It’s a free ride, but you also get paid
It’s the stolen laptop that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… six figures!

Auburn Family has a funny way (of sneaking up on you)
Auburn Family has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

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