THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/19/2011

IM-HO-TEP. IM-HO-TEP.  Pair this photo...

316439_2433624436554_1129957607_32849292_1829204948_n_medium

...with a tour through This Week In Schadenfreude for maximum effect, especially the section with nothing but Texas Tech fans raging gloriously about Tommy Tuberville losing to Bill Snyder. Did you know "Metamucilized" was a word?

Snyder takes Metamucilized Dump on Tubbs and his coaching staff!

Wow!!!!!!!!  Totally outcoached by Barney and friends!!!!! I am really starting to believe Tubbs is a horrible game day coach.  Tech just got gang r---d by a bunch of nobobodys!!!!!!!!!  Great job Tubbs.  This is starting to look like money well spent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bangheadbangheadbangheadbangheadbanghead

Well, it is now.

WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR SOMEONE TO BEAT ALABAMA? Balls and selling out on the run, basically, though Bill does a much better job explaining that here at length. Remember the dictum of Spurrier's where he says you have to throw deep, or they'll never back up? Spurrier is 3-1 lifetime against Nick Saban, and this may have something to do with it. (Mind you, he did that with Stephen Garcia last year. Knock Spurrier's shambolic hustle, but never the results.)

NICK TOON NEEDS TO BE TOLD WHO IS IN CHARGE. The Wisconsin wide receiver believes he will be back for this weekend's extremely important matchup against Michigan State because, in his words, ESPN doesn't decide whether he comes back. Actually, Nick, they do. You will need to file proper paperwork and then receive approvals as dictated by company policy. (Ask BC's old AD. It's all totally true.) (Via.)

GRR IMPROVEMENT FUNDAMENTALS PROCESS. We just finished reading Born To Run, and there is a great quote from an ultrarunner in there who says he always starts a race thinking he's going to do something magnificent, and then around mile 60 has scaled his goals back to NOT puking on his shoes anymore. Right now, Will Muschamp and Florida are just trying not to puke on their shoes again.

WE WANT TO TAKE NOTES REGARDING THE RAISING OF THE RODGERS BROTHERS FROM THEIR PARENTS. Reason: because it is all too apparent that their parents did everything correctly.

WELL HELLO FLORIDA STATE. Mississippi State's Egg Bowl unis look awfully tomahawk-choppy for our tastes. Then again, give a Mississippian some extra dollars, and they do tend to go country-splashy with the gold leaf.

WHAT DO YOU DO? We advise you to stay at any blackjack table with Dana Holgorsen, but admittedly the skullet bon vivant's pace is not for everyone.

WOOOOOOO PIG SOOOOIE. Every week is pretty much Hate Week for Ole Miss this year, and why not?

ETC: We will always link to Fake Ghostface going in on Drake. Steve DeBerg actually wore this on the field once for the 49ers. We would use Siri as long as it sounds exactly like this.

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