COLORADO'S NEW COACH IS AN EXPERT AT THE ELEGANT DISS
by Spencer Hall on Jan 28, 2011 12:50 PM EST
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PrintThere's a great shortage of fine putdowns in history. The few illustrious ones you should remember can and should be memorized with ease.
- Nancy Astor: "If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee." Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband, I would drink it."
- Margot Asquith, correcting Jean Harlow's mispronunciation of her name: "The T is silent. As in 'harlot'."
- Gore Vidal, after being punched in the face by Norman Mailer: "I see words have failed you yet again, Norman."
- Aristocratic lady: "Dr. Johnson, your penis is sticking out!" Dr. Johnson: "Madame, you flatter yourself. It's HANGING out."
- A British MP to Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- Jay-Z: "I've been in it five/ smarten up Nas Four albums in ten years n****? I can divide/ That's one every let's say two, two of them shits was due/ One was - NAHHH, the other was "Illmatic" That's a one hot album every ten year average." Nas: "You a fan, a phony, a fake, a pussy, a Stan/ I still whip your ass, you thirty-six in a karate class/ You Tae-bo hoe, tryna' work it out, you tryna' get brolic?"
- Chesterton: (eyeing Shaw's thin frame) I see there has been a famine in the land. Shaw: (looking at the fat Chesterton) And I see the cause of it. Shaw: If I were as fat as you, I would hang myself. Chesterton: If I were to hang myself, I would use you for the rope.
Adding new Colorado coach Jon Embree to the list of history's great dissmasters would be premature, but in the most indirect of ways there is nothing meaner to say about your coaching predecessor at a school than this:
"You can't evaluate either one of them and there are some things from how they practiced I think inhibited their ability to show what they could do," Embree said. "Not talking to them but other people around the program, they might have been over-kicked. So they were very leg-weary. It's an unknown."
"Our kickers were over-kicked." God, that's mastery. You could either say "your previous coach had no idea what he was doing," or you could say that and score infinite style points. Oscar Wilde and the Council of Bitchcraft are applauding from their seats in the great beyond, and possibly commenting on your appalling taste in footwear, Jon Embree. (HT: The Good Doctor.)
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More Nas
“Eminem killed you on your own shit”still laugh when I hear that line
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
It was expensive
I’m glad it went through though.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Hmmm...Pricy Striker who tore up the Dutch League....
He’s averaged what, 8 goals a year?
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:12 PM EST up reply actions
All told, he's actually been a pretty good player for what he is
in 2008 he was pretty awesome, so he gets a pass. He is getting old, and slow to the point of really being a problem
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Ohhhh
Of all the insults you picked from “Ether”, you picked that one?!
“And now I smile like a proud dad, watching his only son that made it
You seem to be only concerned with dissing women
Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?
Well life is hard, hug me, don’t reject me”
“Foxy got you hot ’cause you kept your face in her puss
What you think, you getting girls now ’cause of your looks?”
“Rockefeller died of AIDS, that was the end of his chapter
And that’s the guy y’all chose to name your company after?
Put it together, I rock hoes, y’all rock fellas”
ZING!
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Jay-Z had a good thing going on "renegade"
up until Eminem changed the direction the song was going and absolutely ended it.
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
One of those things is not like the others
Quips are much more impressive than revision revision revision rap album.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Jan 28, 2011 1:37 PM EST up reply actions
Churchill again
Bessie Braddock: "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill: "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
by nasamomdele on Jan 28, 2011 1:14 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
But sadly
this implication has to actually be spelled out in today’s world because most people are so stupid that they can’t see why this is so damn funny without being told what he left unsaid.
"Another day in which to excel" ~ Erk Russell.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 29, 2011 3:34 AM EST up reply actions
Adlai Stephenson
Woman in crowd: Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person in the country!
Stephenson: That’s not enough, we need a majority
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Jan 28, 2011 1:18 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
always loved this one
It’s a great nod toward Churchill’s quips on democracy
I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.
by sailorjerry on Jan 28, 2011 1:43 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
No Dorothy Parker?
Young trollop, holding door: “Age before beauty!”
Ms. Parker, going through: “And pearls before swine.”
I'm white and I don't dance but that doesn't mean I have all the answers.
by smk73 on Jan 28, 2011 1:20 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Two more from the ever quotable Ms. Parker
When interviewing for a job at McClure’s magazine she was asked to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence. Her classic reply was that you could lead a whore to culture but you couldn’t make her think.
She’s also the one who originated the expression “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me then a frontal lobotomy” if I’m not mistaken.
I always liked
“She knew 32 languages and couldn’t say, ‘No’ in any of them.”
"WIN THE DAY!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 4, 2011 2:54 PM EST up reply actions
I thought, "It's HANGING out" was from Archer.
Plus, European’s use the metric system, so…
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Jan 28, 2011 1:36 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Germany: the Alabama of Europe?
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
More like the Ohio.
Is that worse? Discuss.
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
so, Dayton is the Mississippi of Ohio?
Birmingham is the Boston of Alabama?
/headache
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions
Dayton is the Pripyat of the Midwest
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
The Treblinka of Ohio?
Cleveland
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
*blinks*
Not Cincinnati?
Guess my hometown would be more like Birkenau.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Cincinnati is really part of Kentucky
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
I would strongly support
fusing Ohio, Indiana, and Kentucky into one state.
And then building a massive wall around it.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:09 PM EST up reply actions 9 recs
Kentucky has Bourbon
it should be spared
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
by Londonjoe on Jan 28, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Unlike champaign or tequila
Bourbon can be produced anywhere and still be called bourbon. We’ll let the bourbon distillers relocate.
We want to build a university our football team can be proud of. -- Dr. George Lynn Cross
yeah
none of you SEC speedsters allowed in
/harrumph tradition history harrumph
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
by broski on Jan 28, 2011 2:12 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
You forgot
academics harrumph harrumph.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:14 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
hard to keep a straight face on that one when you include Indiana and Kentucky
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
kentucky and academics don't go together
especially when you consider josh chichester’s 0.7 high school gpa, yet somehow he got into louisville.
i wish i was making this up.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Chichester
isnt he the 7 foot wideout? with granite hands?
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:17 PM EST up reply actions
yep
went to lakota west high school when i was at lakota east. i played against him for two seasons. dude reported a 3.2 gpa in high school…but he had an 0.7 in our sophomore year. guy was dumber than a box of rocks.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
good Lord.
a buckshot (0.0) is easy, but you’ve really gotta try to get a 0.7. what is that? a C a D and 2 F’s?
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:22 PM EST up reply actions
something like that
dude was REALLY HARD to cover though. i’m 5’9, he’s 6’7. he won every time.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Also
throw in Springfield, Illinois.
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by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:22 PM EST up reply actions
Also
throw in Springfield, Missouri.
Build a long, awkward, protruding wall, Israeli style.
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
Have you ever been to Springfield, Illinois?
I’d rather live in Sudan.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:34 PM EST up reply actions
chicagoland as well
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Crystal Lake
/vomitdeath
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:40 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not disagreeing.
I am merely arguing that Springfield, MO should also be included.
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
It should also go "conveniently" through Cape Girardeau
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
Oh, The Cape.
Spawning pool of Rush Limbaugh.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
/SEMO gives you an angry glare
//whatchu got angaist the Purple Crackel?
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
Purple Crackle is/was actually in Thebes, Illinois
my grandfather owned it for a long time
by jschooltiger on Jan 28, 2011 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
er, sorry, McClure
all those towns blend into one another
by jschooltiger on Jan 28, 2011 2:58 PM EST up reply actions
hmm
only went there twice. buddy of mine called the other side of the river ‘east cape’.
/justvisitedafewtimes
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"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:58 PM EST up reply actions
SEMO would have to uncross its eyes first
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
topeka, kansas
If you’ve ever been to Topuka, hiroshima on Aug 7th looks like a paradise in comparison…
by alex henery's foot on Jan 28, 2011 3:45 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
And ACS increases his lead as the all time recs leader
Hilarious
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
there's the sabre rattlin'
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:39 PM EST up reply actions
/unlocks trolling achievement
//was waiting for that
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 2:39 PM EST up reply actions
Kentucky borders 7 states
Care to guess the only one I tolerate?
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
Kentucky?
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"I'm not taking sides in this Egypt thing until the Scorpion King gets involved."
-FOTProgram
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:45 PM EST up reply actions
Ima say Tennessee
but give us virginny boys a chance, now
Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans--raw.
by Illusions, Michael. on Jan 28, 2011 2:46 PM EST up reply actions
You think I like the snitches?
Hell no.
Virginny is the winner.
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
W F'n V?
I know you love Cincinnati, but that’s not part of Ohio
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Cincy is too good for the rest of Ohio
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
If I had it my way, they'd stick 100 Baelrogs in the river to prevent all Ohioans from entering and stop all Kentuckians from leaving
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
but then where would we get our hot northern kentucky women from :(
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
please!!!!!
let me get the hell out first
by Ron Zook Owes Me a Liver on Jan 28, 2011 9:12 PM EST up reply actions
Ohio as a state = Sobibor
errbody escapin
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:07 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Sobibor was more of a revolt than an escape
/wrote 25 page research paper on it in college.
//Combining highly trained Russian troops with oppressed people is a bad idea
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Jan 28, 2011 2:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
i guess it still works in the given context...
/remembered it from history class ~10 years ago
//didnt write 25 page paper on it
///i’ll obviously defer on this one!
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you mean Kansas? ’tis a manhattan, KS…no manhattan, ID - BourbzThaShovel
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 28, 2011 2:37 PM EST up reply actions
Burbz would have gotten along well with the Russian troops in Sobibor
Shovels were the primary weapon used before reacting the armory… where in fine German thinking, they stored the weapons of said Russian soldiers. They were supposed to destroy the confiscated weaponry, but they were either greedy and/or lazy and didn’t.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
there are NO BABIES in SOBIBOR!
/8th grade history class’d
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jan 28, 2011 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
That'll take awhile
GET IT? MIDWEST PEOPLE ARE SLOW UP TOP
It's alright, lonely little burger.
by burger23 on Jan 28, 2011 3:04 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"you hear that?"
that’s puttin’ on the ritz, man!"
by whiskey_soup on Jan 29, 2011 1:43 PM EST up reply actions
The author may be happy that Strong is getting a pay raise
I think he might be happier that Strong might take a place on top of the Fulmer Cup standings as two players got first degree assault charges.
The article notes that the players are not on the team, but it doesn’t say when they were booted off. If they were charged before getting booted (which seems likely), are they still eligible for Fulmer points?
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
Goin' back to the old school CU way of playing
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
Bah nevermind
The assault was last October and that’s when they were kicked off the team, it would’ve applied to last year’s Cup if it applied at all.
Kudos to Strong & company for doing an excellent job covering this up. Iowa would be proud.
I don’t understand why they were kicked off the team; after all, violently assaulting a fellow player is not against the Cardinals’ Five Core Values (why Strong didn’t go with the Cardinal values pun is beyond me).
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
Wouldnt have applied to last year either, cup ends when season starts
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
I can tell this is going to be one of my favorite EDSBS threads ever.
I’ve already learned some great elegant insults.
In the history of college football, no player, no coach, no guru, compares with [Les] Miles’s masterful incorporation of applied chaos theory and time relativity into strategic game planning. Simply put, the man is on another level. A level many don’t or can’t understand. Genius.
My grandfather used to tell a story:
he and his brother were at a dance, and his brother went up and asked a girl to dance. She said, “No thanks, I’m very particular about who I dance with.” He immediately replied, “I’m not, that’s why I asked you.”
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jan 28, 2011 1:57 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
Rec'd
saving this one for later.
Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans--raw.
by Illusions, Michael. on Jan 28, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
That reminds me of one of my most shameful experiences
During one Spring Break, my then GF and a bunch of other friends were in Cancun. We went to the Coco Bongo (a very popular night club based on the fictional club in The Mask) and were watching all the movie related skits they had dancers performing on stage. During the break between skits, a very unattractive, rather large southern girl (I don’t know where she was from but she had a thick accent) comes up to our group and says “Who’s single and wants to bump and grind!?!?” You have never seen a bunch of single guys claim they had girlfriends faster. I guess my GF felt bad for her, because she pushed me toward her and said “He’s single, he’ll dance with you.” And then the wildebeast actually sad “He’s not my type. I like hot guys!” All I could say was “Beggars shouldn’t be choosers, bitch” but it was clear I was wounded. I will never live that down. My friends still bring it up more than a decade later.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
You had your girlfriend at Spring Break?
That is like taking a sandwich to a buffet!
You can never pay back, but you can always pay forward. - W. W. Hayes
by Crabapple Buck on Jan 28, 2011 3:58 PM EST up reply actions
Ah the mistakes of youth!
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Pompous author bitchfight!
Norman Mailer: “In my mind, there is something silly about a man who wears a white suit all the time, especially in New York.”
Tom Wolfe: “The lead dog is the one they always try to bite in the ass.”
Mailer: “It doesn’t mean you’re the top dog just because your ass is bleeding.”
by Doug Gillett on Jan 28, 2011 2:01 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
I never thought I'd say this, but Cricket has produced some epic trash talking...
ROD MARSH: "How’s your wife, and my kids?"
IAN BOTHAM: "The wife’s fine, the kids are retarded."
http://www.alphamagazine.com.au/sport/cricket/say+whatr+crazy+ashes+quotes,7449
by GoHogsGo on Jan 28, 2011 2:29 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
From "Casablanca"
Ugarte (Peter Lorre): You despise me, don’t you?
Rick (Humphrey Bogart): If I gave you any thought I probably would.
Sock 'em, bust 'em
That's our custom
West by God, Virginia!
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 28, 2011 2:48 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Your Majesty is like a dose of the clap
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
What?!?
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW:
Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
I beg your pardon?
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW:
It was one of Wilde’s.
OSCAR WILDE:
Wha-
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
Well, Mr. Wilde?
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW:
Come on, Ozzy.
OSCAR WILDE:
Uh ….. uh, wha-, wha- …..
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW:
Come on, Ozzy, now, tell us all about it.
OSCAR WILDE:
Wha-, what I meant, Your Majesty, uh-h-h …..
JAMES McNEILL WHISTLER:
Let’s have a bit of the old wit then!
OSCAR WILDE:
What, what-
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
I’m waiting.
OSCAR WILDE:
What I-, what I meant was …..
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW:
Come on, Ozzy, …..
JAMES McNEILL WHISTLER:
Give us a bit of the wit, Oz.
OSCAR WILDE:
Um, w-w-what I meant, Your Majesty, w-was ….. oh ….. (blows a raspberry)
(The Prince shakes Wilde’s hand. Laughter all round.)
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
Oh! Excellent! Excellent, Wilde! Very witty, Wilde.
JAMES McNEILL WHISTLER:
Nice one, Oz!
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
Can you come and do that up the Palace some time? Extremely funny, ha-ha-ha …..
Sock 'em, bust 'em
That's our custom
West by God, Virginia!
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 28, 2011 2:53 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
This thread has a distinct lack of Bette.
[On the death of her longtime rival Joan Crawford] "You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good. Joan Crawford is dead. Good."
[On Joan] “She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.”
“Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why Joan always plays ladies.”
by Giant Catfish on Jan 28, 2011 2:57 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
It occurred to me that some may not know who said these things...
depressing as that thought is. Bette Davis, the GOAT of acting and life in general.
by Giant Catfish on Jan 28, 2011 2:58 PM EST up reply actions
Unrelated comment is unrelated.
How does the government of Egypt shut off the interwebz? Is Comcast involved in this?
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:03 PM EST reply actions
Possibly...
but it was shut off on purpose, so that only covers about 25% of all complaints about Comcast.
by purwho on Jan 28, 2011 3:10 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
i just dont get why they decided to do this TODAY
they woke and JUST NOW realized egypt sucks? two days before the end of an awesome month? THANKS EGYPT
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jan 28, 2011 3:10 PM EST up reply actions
Demonstrations have been going all week...
the revolt in Tunisia seemed to get the Egyptians feisty after seeing the results there.
by purwho on Jan 28, 2011 3:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
crude rocking higher is supporting the equities
unless, y’know, they need that silly strait of hormuz to transport their crude out.
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jan 28, 2011 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
They saw what happened in Tunisia
and figured “Hey, why the hell not?”
My roommate is from Egypt: His dad HATES Mubarak and is totally pro-revolution. Life is tough for Coptic Christians over there.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
I was just in NYC for New Years
Our Cabbie was an Egyptian born Coptic Christian. He noticed my fiancee’s crucifix necklace and launched into a very long profanity laced tirade about the Egyptian Government, including the line “People won’t stand for this very long.” Turns out he was prophetic.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Jan 28, 2011 3:39 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It's really interesting
to hear his perspective on what’s happening.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Tech Support: Have you tried unplugging your modem and plugging it back it, Egypt
Egypt: Found the problem!
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Jan 28, 2011 3:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Egypt: Oh, you're finally here! Three hours late, but no matter. So here's the problem--
Technician: I TAKE LUNCH NOW.
[This comment based on a true story.]
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:15 PM EST up reply actions
Why the hell would a dictatorship cut off the internet?
Yeah, cutting off access to internet porn is going to STOP riots. Great thinking.
by Matt.Brown on Jan 28, 2011 3:17 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
The really stupid bit?
The majority of ISP’s that have been shut down are used predominately by legitimate businesses and non-dissidents. The harder to affect ones (mainly owned by the French FWIW) on the other hand are more likely to be utilized by those who are seeking regime change. Primarily because the French won’t let the Egyptian authorities monitor traffic. It has made the current government look autocratic and thuggish while doing virtually nothing to stem protesters abilities to communicate. I mean, between SMS and Goddamn Fax machines, they are getting on just fine.
Uhm RonP4Egypt?
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Going out to revolt LOL.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:31 PM EST up reply actions
Not Arguing his "Rockness"
Purwho: Twitter traffic is a poor indicator considering the market penetration. However, those who utilize dial-up, foreign ISPs, or other more robust connection types are exactly who the Government WAS trying to target. So instead of limiting the comm’s they wanted to control, they just pissed off a whole hell of a lot of law-abiding people who actually have some power. In the tortured metaphor department, it’s like doing a plumbing repair in a huge apartment complex. Instead of identifying the leaks then shutting off the water in those units, the supers just cut everything. What they either didn’t know or couldn’t control was the guys running lengths of hose off of the building across the street.
And yes, Mubarak is sketchy at best
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I think Purwho was just making a joke about how we find out things via twitter now
Like the Mumbia terrorist attacks. I don’t think he was actually saying we only get news from Twitter.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
Fixed that for ya.
we only get news mental diabetes from Twitter.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:43 PM EST up reply actions
I get asked almost weekly by my staff why I'm not on twitter
and they always say “I’d follow you” without any hint of understanding how creepy that sounds.
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
This is how I feel about Foursquare
I want my stalkers to have to do the work! Camp out in your car a half block up my street if it’s that important to ya’
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:46 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Foursquare seems to be a
“Im not at home, rob me now!!!!”
announcement.
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
by gtne91 on Jan 28, 2011 3:54 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Even better
for the idiots who have open accounts where anyone can see their pictures. And their pictures include the exact layout of their house, all the expensive stuff they own, the entrances and exits, yards, etc. Every bit of intel a criminal needs for a quick snatch and grab of the good stuff. Stupidity abounds, as I’ve already pointed out once in this thread.
"Another day in which to excel" ~ Erk Russell.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 29, 2011 4:28 AM EST up reply actions
Perhaps so, I'm trying to do 3 things at once so the snark filter is rolling slow
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:44 PM EST up reply actions
It was complete snark...
because that’s been the typical reaction over the news/internet about Egypt’s internet getting shut down.
/English Al-Jazeera being the exception to this, because they actually report news.
Sorry Dude, my Faux Pas..
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:51 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Oops, forgot to thow this in
F*&k Clemson
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:42 PM EST up reply actions
No, not RonP4Egypt.
Ron, Prince of Egypt.
Get the poster people on it, stat.
by saxattack29 on Jan 28, 2011 4:12 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Beethoven
Said while grasping the ample breasts of a female singer:
“If only these were brains!”
by Tracer Bullet on Jan 28, 2011 3:19 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
That is my new favorite Beethoven quote...
replacing the time-tested favorite of: “WHAT?!?!?!?!”
by purwho on Jan 28, 2011 3:22 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
I like Helen Keller's interpretation better
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jan 28, 2011 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
I bellowed laughter reading this.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
by blanx73 on Jan 28, 2011 3:27 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Reminded me of Bruce Springsteen changing the lyrics to Darlington County on stage once
The original lyric is “Girl you’re so young and pretty and I just wanna know your name”
When he was singing it, he noticed some angry looking feminists in the crowd and stammered out “Girl you’re so young and uh…uh… intelligent, yeah, I just wanna know your name.”
"Football - For the Touchdowns; Playbook - Full of Touchdowns; PIRATE HAT and BACKUP PIRATE HAT" ~ WR Emeritus Golden Tate
by stempke on Jan 28, 2011 3:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
OT
Drunk blanx is drunk. 6.5 hours in court, plus screwy result=2 beer and a Chivas by 3:30.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
by blanx73 on Jan 28, 2011 3:26 PM EST via mobile reply actions 2 recs
Clean ruling
can haz?
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by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:28 PM EST up reply actions
I had to define a win today as “Leaving court wearing pants.”
Which I did.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
by blanx73 on Jan 28, 2011 3:31 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I'm sure
there are lawyers who have done worse.
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by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:33 PM EST up reply actions
I may have told this story, but humor me.
When I was a PD in NH, there was no court on Fri. So, Thurs, we’d get WRECKED. One Thurs, I had, according to my credit card, 14 vodka and tonics.
The following Fri, I got an emergency call to appear for a bail hearing at 10. I was still very drunk, and wearing Thursday’s underwear and suit.
So, went in. Thank god my client smelled worse than I. He was drunker. Not by a whole lot…
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
by blanx73 on Jan 28, 2011 3:37 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
the best part?
I had been describing what it’s like to appear in Detroit to my partner in our out of state office for months. She came in for the hearing. Wayne County “justice” did NOT dissapoint. :)
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
by blanx73 on Jan 28, 2011 3:33 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
that is never OT 'round here
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jan 28, 2011 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
Is it bad
that I know exactly what your sig is without even having to look?
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by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
i think i owe you the hattip
for posting that site. i had trouble narrowing it down.
The geography that I stands compares you superior
by Bourbon_Meyer on Jan 28, 2011 3:58 PM EST up reply actions
Why I love this place.
Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.
by blanx73 on Jan 28, 2011 3:38 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Apropo of Nothing but I'm all excited
I R Buying Kegerator!! Commercial Beverage Air model. Hell’s Sports Bar is moving up in the world y’all
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 3:48 PM EST reply actions
My buddy brought a CO2 tank up from home
We’re using it as a Keggerator tonight.
Ah, college.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Sweet, whatcha' using for refrigeration and Lines/taps?
It’s bout to get REAL beer nerdy up in here
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 4:01 PM EST up reply actions
He's got a mini fridge
It gets really cold, too. So we’re going to line that with some ice bags and keep it in there. Also, we have our own tap and line, we just didn’t have a CO2 tank.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
Regulator for CO2 tank
you haz?
Sock 'em, bust 'em
That's our custom
West by God, Virginia!
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 29, 2011 2:35 PM EST up reply actions
yep
worked like a charm last night. got below 90 psi a couple times but it poured beautifully the rest of the night.
"Well as we say, a punt is the most important play in football."
90 PSI!!!!!
You shouldn’t have beer at more than about 20 psi. That’s way too high.
Sock 'em, bust 'em
That's our custom
West by God, Virginia!
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 29, 2011 6:34 PM EST up reply actions
WOOT Digital Viking Is ALive!!
I ain't got time fer nonna' yer ding-dang terr' -Charlie Prides Ghost
by ZombieJackTatum on Jan 28, 2011 4:02 PM EST reply actions
He was a humble fellow, with much to be humble about (can’t recall the author)
I don't care much about the Super Bowl, but I hope Ben Roethlisberger treats the Packers like a coed in a bathroom stall.
by Spartan D on Jan 28, 2011 4:08 PM EST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Churchill, said of Attlee, I think.
Transmogrified up in this piece!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2011 4:20 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Good luck in prison
John Gielgud in Arthur just slays (fiction of course so not quite on the Churchill level, but damn funny nonetheless)
Same flick:"I'll alert the media..." when Arthur advises He's going to take a bath..
Used early and often ever since I heard it…sums up most the drivel you hear…
"What a strange person !?!"
by AUGATORSWAMP on Jan 30, 2011 9:21 PM EST up reply actions
Shit.
How the fuck did we lose to Colorado.
Damn.
I don't have time for any of this... and yet... here I am. I feel like Wiley E. Bulldog-y.
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Jan 31, 2011 1:34 PM EST reply actions
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