FULMER CUPDATE: PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, OKLAHOMA SOONERS.

Screen_shot_2011-01-24_at_12

(Via)

We tuned in to a nationwide craze last night: not To Catch A Predator, but to the mass live-tweeting of the show, which really is a joy and a privilege to participate in since people point out all kinds of wonderful details surrounding the basic snare-and-scold thing Chris Hansen works so well. (Twitter search #TCAP: it is magnificent.)

For instance, have you ever noticed the jean shorts-to-perp ratio? It's damn near one-to-one. It's like, when hitching up their underwear at the computer, the victims think, "It's a pretty special day. Better wear the clean jorts for this underage sex safari, because I need durability AND style" Don't make the comment, because we pre-empt it for you ARP JORTS GATOR FANS LIKE IT YOUNG. (By record, btw, that's also an Ohio State claim, and a documented one. B-1-G! B-1-G!)

Also, we like the guys who bring sandwiches, because is anything really a crime when you get a sandwich at the end? We didn't think so.

Anyway, while we were doing this Bob Stoops was popping around the corner from the porch with the hot tub and saying "Please, have a seat" to freshmen Kenneth Stills and Tony Jefferson, since he had some things he wanted to discuss with them. Stills was arrested on a misdemeanor DUI complaint at 2:00 a.m. Saturday, while Jefferson was given an "interfering with an official process" charge. You probably get this charge when you are a large drunken football player telling the police to "leave my boy alone," a sentiment that might come out as you butting in tipsily over and over again until the cops give you a citation and threaten you with tasing.

For falling for boozy college town entrapment, the Oklahoma Sooners receive one point each for each misdemeanor here, and thus earn two points in the Fulmer Cup Standings. You're free to walk out the front door, boys BOOM TASERED BY THE LONG BEACH POLICE DEPARTMENT TAKE THAT PERP---

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker