CHRIS RAINEY ARRESTED FOR STALKING

Your defense begins with your mug shot, and if this is how the case is going to go, then Rainey is screwed.

Chris Rainey, Florida running back/wide receiver/ soundbite deity, has been arrested for stalking a woman in Gainesville. If you wonder how to practice the art of love, this...this is not the way to practice the art of love. 

Gainesville Police said the incident began when the woman fell asleep and missed a call from Rainey. Officer Jesse Bostick said Rainey went to the woman's home and she talked to him for about 10 minutes, then told him to leave. According to Bostick, Rainey sent a text to the woman that said "Time to die." The woman called police after receiving the text.

Unless Rainey is a replicant and the woman is hiding a long series of texts before this reading "Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion" and "unbelievable barbecue dinners under the table at Lakeland High School," then Rainey's clearly in some trouble here. Even if he's proven to be a replicant (and a stalk-y one at that,) then 

Rainey and the woman had reportedly been in a three year off-and-on relationship, and he was concussed on Saturday, and if you don't think those two things won't come up in Huntley Johnson's inevitable defense case for the young man, then you are sadly mistaken. Hey look, a list of things that don't need to be said in an intelligent online community! 

  • Stalking women is bad.
  • Threatening violence against women is bad. 
  • Florida needs to kick him off the team. 
  • It's not good being Chris Rainey right now, because he's in jail, and jail is not fun, Tina Fey.
  • It's worse being the woman. 
  • DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS DUMBASS 
  • (He wasn't going to play anyway due to a concussion) 
  • (He's not going to play again.) 
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