A NOTE TO PAPA JOHN'S AND YOUR HORRIBLE COMMERCIALS

That the city of birminham had the insight to drop them from their bowl sponsership

TELL ME MORE!

then go around throwing a football while everyone in the commercial asks like Wilt Chamberlain’s sainted penis just walked in the door.

This seems like a subtle racist joke.

have the same P.R. firm working for them

I support your position in taking a stance against Papa John’s. It could be worse though, I used to hate these commercials.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vghuB11j88M

Who likes Papa John’s, right? Don’t get me wrong, if there’s a halfway decent pizza place in town, I’m all over that like stink on shit. But I live in Athens, GA, where we actually referred to GUMBY’S as the best pizza in town*. If I have to get chain pizza, I’ll take Papa John’s in a walk, any day of the week.

*Your Pie is better, but that’s like, actual, good pizza, not the shit I want at midnight during finals or for gameday.

Excelsior.

But the real question is when John “Why Would You Buy Pizza From A Man With This Last Name” Schnatter and his wife are sitting in the clawfoot bathtubs, are they filled with garlic butter sauce?

Inquiring minds want to know.

I’ll do it! I’ll rob the Quickie Mart!……oh well, I’ll rob it next time

with the “other” Pizza CEO as their AD.

(Schnatter would have given Kragthorpe another chance.)

as watching the botched abortion that was the Ole Miss game with the same four ads rotating (I can only remember three though):

1. “We’re having a baby!” “Damn, now I gotta transform my Nissan!”
2. “Wall Street: Shia LaBouf Fucks It Up.”
3. “Flo-TV: yeah we hate women.”*

*Though it seems they’re trying to make amends with the latest ad, a woman we presume is watching college football, with a Flo-TV tethered to her mascot of choice.

This post had me laughing so hard, I cried… at work. Now my co-workers think I’m insane.

The B’ham News spun this game as “The offense struggled, but the defense wouldn’t let Auburn lose.” Shameless pandering. I half expected them to gush with praise over Auburn’s “magnificent valor”.

/rolls eyes

And Orson, I will get you back for getting the fucking song stuck in my head.

I never got why more people don’t do this. It’s pretty fucking simple.

Dough:

Option 1: Buy it: Publix has dough available for sale. It’s not bad actually.
Option 2: Make it:

I’m a fan of a dough making process called the “no knead” process. Like the name says, no kneading is needed. Take 3 cups of flour (I use 2 of AP unbleached and 1 of whole wheat,) teaspoon of salt, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, half a teaspoon of sugar, a quarter teaspoon of active yeast, and 1 and a 1/2 cups of warm water. Mix it together. Cover it with wrap poking some holes in it.

Let it rise for about 16 hours. Once done, sprinkle a board with flour, pour the dough on the board, dust with flour, put olive oil on your hands to shape it in a ball, put it in a zip lock bag, and you have enough dough for two pizzas.

Sauce: 2 big cans of San Marzana whole stewed tomatoes, 3 cloves of garlic, 5 leaves of basil, salt, pepper, 2 tblspoons of olive oil, 1 tblspoon of oregano, crushed red pepper (depending on how much you like spice,) and 1 diced onion. Bring to boil, put heat on low, and let it cook stirring occasionally for about a hour. Put in container. Put in fridge. You now have enough sauce for at least 4 pizzas.

Toppings: Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Beyond that, go crazy.

Take a sheet of aluminum foil. Spray non stick spray or rub olive oil on it. Put on dough. Stretch the dough. Put on sauce, cheese, and toppings. Put in a preheated 375 degree oven. Wait 25 minutes and you get this:

I miss commercials for Triple Steak Guy and Rambox.