This little ditty showed up in my inbox this morning.
It's a tasty way to teach your little ones about turtles because if you don't do it with this while you're eating it, you'll be on the floor, riving in pain from cardiac arrest trying to tell your family you love them and that this is what a turtle, does indeed, looks like. But they won't understand your mumbling and that's if they hear you over the screams. Live it up motherfucker. Besides, depending on how young your offspring are, you'll probably heating up some chicken nuggets for them anyway. Just remember, these little people you call kids just shattered any cool dreams you had. THANKS MOM AND DAD!!!
It's easy to make.
First you need some handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave. But Kevin, I don't know how to weave bacon. Fuck you then. Weave that shit.
Then shove some hot dogs into it. Make some holes for a head, legs, and a tail. Otherwise, you will look like a virgin on prom night trying to prod those wieners in the bacon wrapped beef.
Next step: Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees. Wait, you did preheat the oven to 400 degrees didn't you? Nice move dickface. Go heat the fucking over to 400. NOW, put it in the oven for 20-30 minutes. It should turn out a little crispy, but not too crunchy, but 100% delicious.
Eat up assholes. Don't say I haven't taught you anything.