WHERE WE COME FROM: TAILGATING TRADITIONS
by Spencer Hall on Jul 7, 2010 1:08 PM EDT
in EA Sports NCAA FB 11
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Florida remains too diffuse a mutt for us to have the kind of monocultural solidity needed for a Unified Theory of Tailgating. The original invasive species in the state is humanity, and even the various kinds of human python who invaded the state in waves tend to view the others with suspicion and competitive envy: the Cubans from Miami, the old crackers who parlayed orange groves into real estate millions and Bull Gator spots within pissing distance of the stadium, the Midwesterners who flocked to Tampa and Orlando to escape winters and income tax, the ACRs (Alachua County Residents) with 24 packs of Busch Light propped on truck tailgates, the Subtropical Jersey Shore kids from Broward County whose hair products start to wilt in the heat of the third quarter, the panhandle rednecks who could pass for Bama Bangs Commandos...there's too much "us" in our "we" to have The Grove, or the Quad, or especially something as coordinated and spicy as the LSU Rolling Cajun Kitchen.
That's not to say there aren't a few universals for Florida tailgating.
BLIND DRUNKENNESS. The cruising beverage goes in the right hand, and when hard drinking (i.e. "real" drinking") commences, it moves to the left hand and is nursed until the "real drinking" ceases. Like the mating habits of our fans, indiscriminate is the word for choice of drink. We have personally consumed the following at Florida tailgates since 1994, and have noticed no pattern of beverage choice across this significant sample size:
- Glenmore Gin (handle: $9.95)
- Johnny Walker Blue
- Moonshine (Taste: "paint thinner")
- "Murphy's Last Stand." (Punch of unknown derivation and content. Left aftertaste of doom and apricot on the palate, and required several hours of recovery afterward.)
- Apple pucker shots. (Don't ask.)
- Maker's Mark.
- Maker's Mark mixed with Gatorade.
- Andre Cold Duck (two bottles, consumed for thirst not intoxication, who just came along for the ride for the hell of it.)
- Malibu Rum and Coffee (Served hot on 92 degree day.)
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The best drink I've had at a UF tailgate was the Bourbon Meyer
Sweet tea and bourbon, gradually poured stronger over the course of an afternoon. Thanks again to Rusty and the boys from GatorTailgating.com for a great day.
ASU tailgating smells of hot asphalt, cheap beer, and sunscreen.
I'll try the bourbon
but our tent, in the heat especially, leans to vodka with sweet tea, known as an “Ice Pick”.
"Live free or die"
-General John Stark
by General John Stark on Jul 8, 2010 9:31 AM EDT up reply actions
Having been on a mini
tour of SEC spots, it is evident that my alma mater certainly lacks on the tailgating front. However, heat = little clothing, and campus girls wearing very little beats the hell out of campus girls in dresses and heels. Dignified? No, but trash in its purest form….that is beauty in itself……
No one's really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends - Gilbert Lowe
There are a few of us
that have not shown up to a tailgate later than daybreak…
My one exception is when taking the LSAT the morning of the Auburn game in ’07… Skipped the writing sample to show up at the tailgate (without getting shit for being late) for an evening game…
God bless the 60-plus year old lawya who gave me a beer from his trunk for the walk from Shands to the tailgate following the exam…
I also took the LSAT at Shands on an gameday...
and I made it to the game in plenty of time to march at halftime…after changing in my car and running up that stupid hill in a wool uniform…thank God I played the piccolo.
/band geek
I’m thinking it was the LSU game…fall of 1988.
Try doing it with a Sousaphone
And apparently, we were in the Gator Band at the same time – go figure
Haha, I also took the LSAT that morning in Gainesville. I wasn’t at the tailgate by daybreak, but I did dominate the tailgate immediately after the test.
It’s a shame I think I did better on that test than we did in the game that day…
Go Gators!
by 12-inch Idongivafuck Sandwich on Jul 7, 2010 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Been there before
The only difference is I took the LSAT at UGA the day of our game against ASU. I finished the writing sample (who the hell cares about that thing?), and walked past about 50 different tents in the 100 yards between the testing site and my dorm. I took a shower, slammed back three back three Shiner Blacks while in the shower, got dressed, finished off the six back while getting dressed, grabbed my Maker’s Mark and headed to North Campus. The next thing I remember, it was the 4th quarter, we were in the midst of a torrential downpour, ASU had the lead, and I couldn’t find my shirt. The only evidence I have that I actually made it to the tailgate is pictures taken by my friends.
Sic 'em Dawgs
by ClassicCityDawg on Jul 7, 2010 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions
A certain rotund football coach faces 3rd & 8 at his own 32.
On first and second downs, he called a swing pass and a fade route, respectively. Which of the following can most properly be inferred from this situation?
a) The coach is not particularly interested in winning the game.
b) The coach talked to Tommy earlier in the week, and alls he’s sayin’ is that Tommy would have liked those play calls.
c) Well, the defense was in a soft Cover 2, and….
d) Draw play!
/why do they schedule the LSAT for football Saturdays?
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jul 7, 2010 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
They schedule the EIT on game days as well
At least they are kind enough to offer it in the spring and in the fall.
I took it in the spring.
We are THE tigersthatsaywareagle
EIT fell on the tease of gameday
for me it was the same day as the Orange and Blue game (that’s our spring game for you yankees) a few years back. Nothing worse than having your lady bring you a lunch of a peanut butter sandwich and some chips while she’s drunk and having to hear the cheers from the stadium knowing that you have to go back into a huge auditorium and do 4 more hours of engineering problems.
I’m still surprised she remembered to feed me.
/married her
//she’s a category 5
///get money
by Boozy McHound on Jul 7, 2010 3:31 PM EDT up reply actions
I can vouch for Pecan.....
he was a great law clerk…..BUT, I was drunk when I took the LSAT (not on a gameday, mind you) so …..one-up THAT!
No one's really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends - Gilbert Lowe
Shit…. You need a clerk for summer ’11?
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jul 7, 2010 2:13 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
No offense to the BBQ purists
but the prefab from Sonny’s always worked for our group – and gallons of Sonny’s sweet tea. I remember the good ol’ days when anyone could park at Holland under the trees w/o a parking decal.
Third'd
Sonny’s is wonderful
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jul 7, 2010 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Sonny's isn't bad for a chain place
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Jul 7, 2010 3:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Next time you're in Gainesville (if you're ever in Gainesville)
go to Adam’s Rib Co. on NW 13th Street. It’s amazing.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jul 7, 2010 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Get breakfast
and order your bbq @ around 930 so that you can get the first stuff out of the pit and then roll to your spot.
And yes, get breakfast, pancakes as big as the plate.
by Boozy McHound on Jul 8, 2010 8:40 AM EDT up reply actions
The notion of moonshine at a UF tailgate is odd and particularly jarring to me. I suppose it’s because I’ve always operated under the assumption that moonshine is only distilled at altitudes exceeding 25 feet above sea level. Not too many locales of that nature in Florida.
"Be worthy as you run upon this hallowed sod, for you have dared to tread where champions have trod."
oh, its there....
not sure how they do it, but I had a buddy in high school whose crazy uncle made it……the lack of altitude probably just makes it much less smooth…..
No one's really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends - Gilbert Lowe
The notion of moonshine at a UF tailgate is odd and particularly jarring to me.
How do you think I feel about that?
Orson, if the moonshine tastes like paint thinner, you need to find another ‘shiner, brother, ’cause your guy just ain’t doing it right. Good ’shine will have a fairly neutral taste, other than the slight burning sensation associated with high alcohol content. The best ’shine is smooth as spring water and kicks like a mule.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
Nods knowingly
Good shine is sneaky. A bit burny, and then you can’t find your pants. Or anyone else’s.
bars
No Gator gameday is complete until you’ve creeped out all the hot sorostitutes hanging out in the window at Balls. Or thrown up in Balls. Anywhere else you do that, youre on the business end of a murder punch from a bouncer. The guy there called me a pussy and threw his dip can at the back of my head. If one of my nightmares buttfucked a wet dream, it would be that bar. Everytime I walk out of there I feel like Gary Busey must when he wakes up: frazzled, drunk, unsure if I had a good timeANDHEYLOOKTHERESBLOODONMYSHIRT.
by LessTalkMoreTongue on Jul 7, 2010 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
Who didn't take the LSAT drunk?
It really isn’t that hard if you can read at a 5th grade level
Who wants a 30 pack?
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
We always start tailgating before the official sunrise time
Makes September night games a real challenge.
Alec: Chris, did you really buy a $1400 toilet?
Chris: Yeah, it's great. It's Japanese and has those little warm water jets that clean the undercarriage.
Eric: Chris, it's a toilet, you shit in it.
Hot as shit.
As a proud Gator, I can safely say that I did not enjoy tailgating at the swamp. However, when your grandparents have a house on archer close by, riding to the stadium shitfaced on the bus isn’t that bad.
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jul 7, 2010 2:10 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Back in my day...
…tailgating DID begin at 0800, but only because lights had yet to be installed in the Swamp, and September mid-day games there are not something to be tackled sober.
Damn electricity. Ruins everything!
/get off my lawn rant
Tailgating is beautiful
…in all its forms.
The official drink in Athens is the bloody mary, and by that I mean generous helpings of vodka poured over ice with Zing Zang, often from a hellacious premixture created in a liter Gatorade bottle. Because life is short, and you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
truer words have never been spoken.
by dirt sandwich on Jul 7, 2010 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Taken from the Kentucky Derby infield:
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
Bloody Mary's and Doughnuts
the only way to start a day.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
Awesome post, I lol'd several times
I never realized how hot it must be down there in September… I guess Happy Valley spoils you. Until it’s November.
Do you want the mustache on, or off?
Too bad.
Noon games actually make you consider skipping out and going to a bar
It doesn’t matter how football crazy you are (I am), 96° F kickoff temperature plus bad hangover makes you want to stay away from the sun.
The rainy games were a blast though, especially the white out against Hawaii in 08. Wet sorority girls in white sundresses make for a happy drunken Chekhov.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jul 7, 2010 3:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I can definitely see how 96 degrees would limit not only my motivation, but as the post said the pace at which I would get moving in the morning. 96 degrees is not conducive to overcoming a hangover.
In our neck of the woods it’s very typical (all the home games in Happy Valley last year) to have an overcast day with 50-70 degrees. It’s like God understands you are hungover, but he wants to provide you the ideal conditions with which to overcome such an obstacle and get back on the horse. Then again, as I said, that last game in November will make you want to stay at home in front of a fireplace and laugh at all the sad bastards whose asses are numb from the metal seats.
All this gives me more respect for our southern brethren who pack the stands in September.
Do you want the mustache on, or off?
Too bad.
Hammer, meet nail head
The game’s the thing. Setting up a fancy tailgate in a specific space is beyond me. Give me any old patch of grass, a cooler, and a tailgate and I’m good. Who needs food? Liquid bread and a soggy hotdog in the stadium is more than enough to sustain a typical Gator for the day. A scavenge of said fried chicken and chips that have been sitting outside in the open bag for the last 10 hours is gluttenous for me on a game day. Not that I’m above gluttony.
One drink I’d like to add that’s been a big hit the last few years in Gainesville (and everywhere else in the South): sweet tea vodka. I haven’t tried a bourbon meyer with firefly instead of publix sweet tea yet, but it sounds pretty awesome. And by awesome I mean deadly.
by jwgator on Jul 7, 2010 2:46 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Sweet tea vodka is the shit
It’s popular up here in the North too. Just add ice. Maybe a little tea, but seriously it does fine all on its own.
Do you want the mustache on, or off?
Too bad.
Firefly makes Bourbon too
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jul 7, 2010 3:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Firefly does not make any liquor
they make tea and add liquor to it and then sell the mixture.
had a loooooong conversation with one of thier reps in Charleston (he kept buying my wife drinks and for that I must tip my hat).
They bring in all the liquor separately and so far have not disclosed who produces it for them. But their major operation is in brewing the tea and mixing it right after brewing which is what helps to mask the bite and keeps the mixture so smooth.
by Boozy McHound on Jul 8, 2010 8:44 AM EDT up reply actions
Well yes and no
The Firefly Distillery originally made vodka out of muscadine grapes before they branched into the vodka/tea mixture. Once that became popular, they couldn’t keep up with demand from their tiny distillery. So, in 2008 they formed a joint venture with the Sazerac Company. Now, most of the vodka and all of the bourbon they use is produced at the Buffalo Trace distillery in Kentucky.
However, Firefly does produce other distilled products here on Wadmalaw Island, SC. Check their web-site hyah.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
Maker's Mark and Gatorade
Sacrilege! I mourn for that befouled spirit.
what liquors haven't been added to Gatorade?
because you know- it gets to you quicker…
/remembers vodka and Gatorade Frost mixture
/wonders if they still make Gatorade Frost.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
I used to mix vodka with the blue powerade and drink it from a Windex bottle
But my all time favorite “shit that’s left in the vending machine” cocktail is captain morgan and mountain dew. We named it Crab Juice in honor of the Simpsons episode where they go to NYC.
Homer: what do you have to drink?
Street vendor: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.
Homer: UUUUUUUUUGH! I’ll have a Crab Juice.
As a freshman
I would mix SoCo and Mt Dew- not sure how this happened- but it wasn’t terrible.
A roommate of mine after a 18 hour+ semester of no drinking mixed a bottle of vodka into one of those giant Hawaiian Punch bottles- I came home and thought he was drinking Wisk… good times.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
A shame indeed!
Probably first concocted by the inventor of the jort.
We are THE tigersthatsaywareagle
The jort is not an invention
It is one of nature’s mutations that has found a niche habitat. It is to be observed, protected, and most of all, contained.
by Jack Fact on Jul 7, 2010 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I stand corrected, sir
I imagine the first person to wear a pair of jorts was probably a descendant of the first person to try eating an oyster.
We are THE tigersthatsaywareagle
I am confused...
The descendant of the first person to don a pair of jorts had the tastes of a gentlemanly warrior-poet?
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
All time low
After Jawga got rocked by Tennessee in ‘06, some dick poured half an MD2020 into the cup of keg beer in my hand… and I was drunk enough to finish it right there.
Because fuck him, that’s why.
________________
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Maker's Mark mixed with Gatorade!!!!!
Why ruin a perfectly perfect liquor by mixing it with ANYTHING? Sacrilege, indeed!
I've walked to the swamp from my house
It’s about a mile and a half away. It’s not something I’d recommend if you’re smashed beyond all recognition. Parking is so fucking ridiculous in Gainesville, so sometimes you gotta risk it.
We should have a Gator EDSBS tailgating spot.
Kentucky Tailgating
Despite our disadvantage in stadium size and football tradition, UK tailgates are still as big or bigger than any I’ve been to. That’ s probably because Lexington is so much bigger than most SEC college towns though.
The best time to come out for a tailgate is October, where the home games are pushed back until nighttime so everyone has time to tailgate and attend both Keeneland and the game. (For you foreigners, Keeneland is basically what you get when you combine KY Derby infield partying with The Grove attire. Horse racing is kinda what we do).
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
Number of UK games Ive attended in my life...
…too many to count.
Number of times Ive NOT had bourbon spilled on me in the stands by others…zero.
Not that Im complaining (other than the waste of bourbon). What does this have to do with tailgating…probably nothing.
spilling bourbon
My mother’s fond of recalling that football season smells like bourbon and cigar smoke, from back in the day when drinking and smoking in the stadium were integral parts of the game day experience.
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