IDAHO POTATO FIGHT! BOISE STATE FAILS PIMP CLASS

Manalive, threre's nothing funnier than stumbling into a rivalry five hundred times more bitter than you thought it was, especially when all that bitterness is getting a thorough public airing. Boise State and Idaho were talking about whether to play their rivalry game. They were going to get barbecue, too, but then someone had to mention how their kid was ahead in their reading class, and then a disparaging remark was made about the cole slaw, and suddenly there was blood, and an ambulance, and holy shit this quaint family get-together got way out of hand.

(Funeral is on Wednesday. Pardon us: funerals. Aunt Merlene died of her injuries in the hospital. One never thought a corn holder could do such damage, but reality has proved us wrong again.) 

Chris Petersen, as mentioned in the Index this morning, opened up festivities with some remarks, but it's Boise State's President Bob Kustra who soberly extinguished the flames HAHAHAH WE KID HE THREW A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL ON THE BUFFET TRAY AND BURNED THE WEDDING RECEPTION DOWN: 

"This is a great example of why my wife and I no longer travel to Moscow games,'' Kustra said. "It's a culture that is nasty, inebriated and civilly doesn't give our fans the respect that any fan should expect when visiting an away team. ...

We thought we liked Idaho for some reason. Nasty and inebriated is generally how we like our sports fans, our pets, and our bush pilots. (<----not a euphemism, but should be.)

I don't think at Boise State you're going to find that, so for me personally, when I read what Pete said I knew, I knew. "For me, this is not about football. For me, this is a cultural issue.

They are called the Vandals, no? And have a coach with a homicidal game warden's mustache and sons named Jack and Daniel? And live in Moscow, Idaho, where we children wrestle grizzly bears not because they are so uncivilized that they allow them to wander into town, but rather because they don't have many people, and thus need to employ them as gym teachers in public schools? (And damn fine ones, says the Teachers' Union of Idaho.) 

It's about fans having to learn how to treat other fans and universities. What bothers me more than anything else, is that the fans are not about denigrating our athletic program. ... What bothers me personally is the denigration of our academic programming.

"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored in yet." Neeeeeeeext. 

That's what I simply can't tolerate. "I've seen rivalries all over America, Oklahoma-Oklahoma State, Texas-Texas A&M, Kansas-Kansas State, but you can go inside those rivalries and you'll find all kinds of slams and digs and whatever, but I've never seen the nastiness aimed at the quality of our academic program that I find here in Idaho from the University of Idaho Vandals and as long as that goes on, why would I want to encourage a game where people don't know how to act like grownups?'' 

Pimpin' is a theme of late, and should be invoked here to say that an icy mack would have said, "We're going to play in the Mountain West Conference" and then immediately mentioned everything enviable and shiny about Boise State football. Instead, you get someone giving free oxygen to their rival by complaining about their lack of civility, most likely while daintily emphasizing points while tapping his teacup with the correct sugar spoon while minding his lacy sleeve lest he dip into the blouse-staining tea.

That's idaho: you save your diss tracks for TCU and Utah now. Until you do, your pimp quotient equals zero, Bob Kustra. Even Jim Delany talks better trash than that, and he's horrible at it. 

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