His Giggityness opens his remarks with an eerie Spurrier imitation. "Thirteen years! Good to be here!" He's even got that particular Appalachian twang. It's uncanny. He snaps the illusion by wishing Bobby Johnson a happy retirement, a measure of goodwill the OBC would never commit to in front of witnesses.
• From the Knowing Where One's Bread Is Buttered Dept.: Nutt manages to drop an "AT&T Cotton Bowl" into the conversation. /cha-ching'd
• Jerrell Powe "has been a team leader." In our heads, this involves a LOT of piggyback rides. (Seriously, he's bigger than you'd think, which is saying something. Dude could bench any two other players here, no problem.)
• Reader paraphrase of the opening question: "Coach, every team in the West is either already better than you or is going to be better than you. How do you feel about that?" Nutt's response, not paraphrased: "You picked us last. Thank you. S'good!"
• Nutt's uncertain foray into socialmediaspeek includes the phrase "texting on a blog."
• On not looking ahead: "Jacksonville State had Florida State beat."
• On the replace-Colonel-Reb campaign: "The next mascot, you know what, I haven't been worrying about that too much." He looks as gracious as possible while saying this.
• Out-of-context quote of the day: "You better have some Dr. Phil in you."
• Asked what Lockett brings to the defense. We will anticipate his answer: FIERCEOSITY.
• DINGDINGDING!! We are all clear to ask Les Miles how magnets work, because there is no way we could come off dumber than the guy who said this: "It's a true testament to yourself that Boise State is the team that it is, that we've seen this past decade. Talk about your experience at Boise State and do you think you pretty much laid the foundation to get that thing going?"
• Houston Nutt coached Boise State for one (1) year, in 1997.
And with that, we're onto BEST PLAYER INTERVIEW EVER Kentrell Lockett. Join us and Ole Forty after the jump, won't you?
• On the mascot contest: "We're always gonna be the Ole Miss Rebels. We're just gonna have some on-field entertainment, somebody in a costume jumping around."
• On staying down south for school: "I couldn't go that far away from Mama."
• Fearless Leader gets in a question inspired by Kentrell's Twitter feed, about the acceptability of men with lower-back tattoos. Short version of his answer: Unless it's a full-body sleeve tat, "It's your money, but you mostly see that on females."
• On his little girl following him as an athlete: "My fiancee wants her to be a dancer, and I'm all, [raises eyebrows] 'She's over there playing with a football.'"
• On his choice of attire: "I thought about bringing a bowtie and switching it in the middle, just to get a different look." Kentrell Lockett is a national treasure.
• Followup: "Do you have a different personality with the bowtie on?" "Well, if I had the bowtie on, I could explain it."
• On the toughest O-line he's ever faced. "This is gonna sound strange ... Vanderbilt. I don't know why. So well-coached. Textbook." Informed that Vandy's O-line coach is now the head coach, he groans good-naturedly, "So it's gonna be even worse this year."
• On Fat Guy Touchdowns: "It's just a great feeling any time a big man gets a hand on the ball." Ole Forty, we salute you. Don't ever, ever change.