He's the only first-year installation we've seen thus far, but Joker Phillips leads the freshmen pack with his sublime opening joke: "I had a dream that Dicky Lyons gave me mouth-to-mouth. He still haunts me." <-- No, this really did happen.
• For a guy taking over an already-shaky Kentucky operation, Joker doesn't appear a bit apprehensive. He's smooth without being glib and has an easy manner with the necessary repartee, and is also quick to admonish reporters who don't introduce themselves before peppering him with questions, which makes Blogger Row snicker because HA HA SOMEBODY'S IN TROUBLE.
• To wit: "The [players] who haven't bought in, they will either no longer be with us, or they will be the best-conditioned players on the team."
• He's come prepped with a central thesis, OPERATION WIN, and continues this unfortunate marketing gambit with a remarkably straight face.
• On the hiring of Tee Martin: An asset because "he understands Facebook."
• Coach Brooks is apparently "too busy Twittering and fishing" to meddle in affairs of state at Big Blue Nation.
• Joker is not his real name. Sadly, his real name is not Jimbo Fisher. This causes him problems when trying to earn SkyMiles. We really are sitting in a hotel ballroom shooting the shit with Joker Phillips about his SkyMiles account, which is just one more reason Media Days haters can fuck right off.